TM 242: Bearer of Bad News
It's kind of strange to think of this as 'bad news' but the first thing that came to mind was that I've had to tell everybody I loved that I wasn't actually dead. It's good news, of course; at least I hope so. But it's bad news, too, in the sense that, "Everything you thought you knew about one of the most important things ever to happen to you was a lie" isn't the easiest thing to adapt to.
I'll never forget the look on Scott's face when he walked into the room at X-Factor. I know he wanted it to be true but, also -- I didn't have my telepathic abilities then, but I still knew -- part of him didn't know how he was going to live with it. He'd made his decisions, made his compromises, based on the understanding -- no, the firsthand knowledge -- that Jean Grey was dead. The evidence of my being there showed that it wasn't true. And at the same time, I had to tell him that I wasn't the Phoenix; that the person he had loved for part of that time, that he thought he had formed a bond and an understanding with, wasn't me. Scott was the most extreme example, but everybody that "Phoenix" had known -- my family, my teammates, Logan -- had to adjust to the same thing.
And years later, I had to tell them that was wrong too. Because now I think I was Phoenix all along. That's it's own kind of bad news. It's something we all need to learn to live with.
I'll never forget the look on Scott's face when he walked into the room at X-Factor. I know he wanted it to be true but, also -- I didn't have my telepathic abilities then, but I still knew -- part of him didn't know how he was going to live with it. He'd made his decisions, made his compromises, based on the understanding -- no, the firsthand knowledge -- that Jean Grey was dead. The evidence of my being there showed that it wasn't true. And at the same time, I had to tell him that I wasn't the Phoenix; that the person he had loved for part of that time, that he thought he had formed a bond and an understanding with, wasn't me. Scott was the most extreme example, but everybody that "Phoenix" had known -- my family, my teammates, Logan -- had to adjust to the same thing.
And years later, I had to tell them that was wrong too. Because now I think I was Phoenix all along. That's it's own kind of bad news. It's something we all need to learn to live with.