Appointments Post

[shadedsunlight]

This post here is for personal conversations which should happen but one or both of us doesn't want to put up a new post/log and thus we will just thread it out here. This can be used to thread with shadedsunlight anytime and anywhere. This can either be in person (with action), or via the journal's call feature (voice and/or written

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Re: Written, October 26th

[shadedsunlight]

It's early in the afternoon before Ginia sits down with her journal, a warm cup of tea, a plate of cookies, and half a sandwich at the dining table in the shared kitchen. (A second cup of tea is poured and prepared out of pure habit; she lets it sit on the table, lacking the heart to pour it out.) For a few minutes she enjoys the joys of being tangible and alive, savoring her food and drink and the quiet of the afternoon even as the threat of death hangs over all their heads.

Giles' message in his tidy all legible and proper English handwriting lining the page is the first thing she sees upon opening the journal. She reads slowly, questions springing to mind as each word builds on the other. Did something happen to Helios? "Helios' power", had something happened after she was banished? Her stomach churns, her hands shake, but she reads on. Of course she'd watch over Helios. Even if he was okay, she'd still watch over him to make sure he was okay.

The next line makes her innards twist for an entirely different reason. It's one thing to hear it whispered quietly. Remembered, but there's no proof beyond the memory, a thing that can be so unreliable. There's permanence behind the written word, tangible proof of existence and seeing "I love you" chokes her up almost as much as "And I'm sorry" at the end.

The words in between dredge up fear she's thought on too much over the last few weeks. There would be side effects. He could not remember her. Things could change. There were things that were all possibilities and as much as she didn't want to accept them, she could plan ahead. That was what she did, she planned and when things didn't go as planned, there were backup plans for damage control.

If he came back without memories of her, she wouldn't push things. She'd be there as a friend, help him settle in, and take it slow. Their relationship would never be mentioned. It would hurt and be hard, but it wouldn't be fair pushing anything onto him.

If he came back remembering her, but things changed, she'd go with the changes. Adjust accordingly and see where things take them. She'd fight to keep their relationship together because all relationships need work and maintenance, but she'd never force anything there either.

Above all she'd be there for him when he came back. Sometimes you had to face things alone. Sometimes you had to take care of yourself. His return home wouldn't be one of them.

Ginia reads the short message two, three, four more times, committing all the words to memory. Her tea grows cold, her good goes untouched.

She doesn't write anything in response. How could she risk spilling everything and confusing him on his return? No. If there's anything to say, it'd be in person and away from Malnosso eyes.

The journal is closed, the tea poured out and the food stored for later before she goes to check on Helios. She'll miss him, worry for him, and think about him, but she won't pine for him, not when there's work to be done.

Besides, he'd tease her if she did.