(no subject)
i've had an adventurous week to say the least. vacation's had it's ups and downs, that's for sure. doug and me are definitely over. what the future holds for us, i'm not sure, but i really don't think it'll be much of anything. i've learned that it's important to cherish your friends. they're there to pick you up when you're having a rough time. between breaking up with doug twice, my parents leaving for florida, going to matrix the day i broke up with doug and kissing that guy, and now, talking to sal... i don't even know where to go from here. life is a mission, it all depends on where you let it take you. i've never felt so liberated as i did when i got my tattoo. it was spur of the moment and maybe wreckless and foolish, but i don't regret it. sometimes, people need to let go of all their stresses and do something crazy. i know my family's gonna flip when they find out, but that's a real consequence i'll have to bear. they can't take it off of my body anyways. i can do whatever i want to my body, i am myself. and for once, i actually feel like i'm right. yeah it hurt getting a tattoo. i don't like needles and really wasn't expecting to get a tattoo either, but i'm glad i went through with it. fuck doug and all of his little games. in the process of being with him, i forgot myself. i forgot what it was like to be free. to just kiss some guy one night, talk to one i'm really interested in the next, get a tattoo, be myself with the people i love. i forgot how to do that all.
and it feels so good to learn it again...
~*s.h.a.d.e._m.e.i.s.t.e.r*~