Leaving on a Jet Plane - OVFF rocked!
Headed back to Vancouver today. Am sitting in the Columbus Airport, which is civilized and has free WIFI. I appreciate this and give it the Shaddyr Stamp of Approval. I have finally had some time to process the experience that was OVFF.
So first off. I was terrified. I even kind of surprised myself when I realized how scared I was. See, I've been singing in front of crowds since I was in kindergarten - I vaguely remember singing a solo in some class thing in Thompson when I was no more than 4 years old. I was wearing a yellow dress my mother made and my grandfather came out to watch it.
I've been in countless number of choir performances and done solos at talent shows; I used to do Karaoke every Saturday night for a couple years straight. I did one concert before, a few years back, at Norwescon and wasn't nearly as freaked out - but I went in the room expecting to find 10-12 people that I knew and discovered a room 3/4 full with mostly people I didn't recognize. Good thing I didn't know because I didn't have time to worry. I don't really remember anything about the concert other than losing feeling in my fingers at the end and feeling like I was totally screwing up, but hsifyppah assured me that I looked very confident.
This was very different. I had 2 years to get used to the idea. It was only the last few months I started to get nervous. It was only 2 days before I started to panic. But when u_must_b_joking and I walked down to the auditorium, I was seriously starting to lose my cool. And OMG, thank god she was there, because she save my sanity. I could not have done it without her, I kid you not.
All I really remember between getting there and about 1/2 hour after the concert as snatches. runnerwolf letting me sit beside her and crush her hand. Trace telling me I would be fine. pondside hugging me. I know there were other people there, cuz I remember multiple hugs and encouragement, but god help me, I couldn't tell you who they were or what they said to save my life. There were tears, not the sobbing kind, just the too-many-feelings kind. When I get emotionally overwhelmed (anger, happiness, nerves) I tear up. I HATE THAT ABOUT ME but that's just how it is. I couldn't stop it, just try to breath through it.
I had one moment of extreme, incipient panic when I was seriously considering turning around and walking out, but Trace had my guitar and grabbed my hand and literally pulled up on the stage. And then it was time and I had to think about the book and tuning and mics and the set list and I wasn't so panicked anymore.
Also it helped that vixyish and hsifyppah were sitting in the front row, smiling at me and being all encouraging. On the other side, pondside and solomons_pond were doing the same, and suddenly it was like being at pondfilk again and I could do it.
I was totally blown away when mysticfig told me they had been and my concert and that I'd done a good job. I didn't see them, but then again, I wasn't tracking a whole lot outside the very front rows. It was very flattering to hear that since I consider them some of the most talented people in filk.
At one point during open filk, the lovely and talented quadrivium indulged me by letting me steal her away and play Sarcasm and Snark for her. I blame her song "Good Guys gone Bad" for inspiring it in the first place, so I really wanted her to hear it. billroper tagged along when I abducted her - I've never really had the chance to meet him before, and he proved to be a lovely and sweet gentleman.
admnaismith and I have been at the same place at the same time many times (Orycon, Conflikt, Pondfilk) but have never really connected or sat down and chatted. We had a lovely chat on Sunday night wherein he advised me that he had been every bit as nervous as I felt and it was an instant little bit of camaraderie that made me feel happy as to me, he always appears as eminently professional and absolutely confident. Also, he gives good hugs.
At the Pegasus dinner, I got to sit with phillip2637, janeg, sexybass, Sue, and another lovely couple from Toronto. It was very amusing when I realized that we were the All Canadian Table.
I've spent the last few days with pondside, solomons_pond, rms_butterfly, fuzzyvanman and Em. And many, many cats. It has been lovely, but far too short. We got to have dinner with Trace, judifilksign and Sparkle last night, which I enjoyed greatly. They introduced me to Jeni's Ice Cream, which is made of awesome sauce and win.
I have more in my head, but it is all a mushed up jumble. And also, time to catch the plane. So. More later.
Uhm. I had a good time, but I think that is apparent.
So first off. I was terrified. I even kind of surprised myself when I realized how scared I was. See, I've been singing in front of crowds since I was in kindergarten - I vaguely remember singing a solo in some class thing in Thompson when I was no more than 4 years old. I was wearing a yellow dress my mother made and my grandfather came out to watch it.
I've been in countless number of choir performances and done solos at talent shows; I used to do Karaoke every Saturday night for a couple years straight. I did one concert before, a few years back, at Norwescon and wasn't nearly as freaked out - but I went in the room expecting to find 10-12 people that I knew and discovered a room 3/4 full with mostly people I didn't recognize. Good thing I didn't know because I didn't have time to worry. I don't really remember anything about the concert other than losing feeling in my fingers at the end and feeling like I was totally screwing up, but hsifyppah assured me that I looked very confident.
This was very different. I had 2 years to get used to the idea. It was only the last few months I started to get nervous. It was only 2 days before I started to panic. But when u_must_b_joking and I walked down to the auditorium, I was seriously starting to lose my cool. And OMG, thank god she was there, because she save my sanity. I could not have done it without her, I kid you not.
All I really remember between getting there and about 1/2 hour after the concert as snatches. runnerwolf letting me sit beside her and crush her hand. Trace telling me I would be fine. pondside hugging me. I know there were other people there, cuz I remember multiple hugs and encouragement, but god help me, I couldn't tell you who they were or what they said to save my life. There were tears, not the sobbing kind, just the too-many-feelings kind. When I get emotionally overwhelmed (anger, happiness, nerves) I tear up. I HATE THAT ABOUT ME but that's just how it is. I couldn't stop it, just try to breath through it.
I had one moment of extreme, incipient panic when I was seriously considering turning around and walking out, but Trace had my guitar and grabbed my hand and literally pulled up on the stage. And then it was time and I had to think about the book and tuning and mics and the set list and I wasn't so panicked anymore.
Also it helped that vixyish and hsifyppah were sitting in the front row, smiling at me and being all encouraging. On the other side, pondside and solomons_pond were doing the same, and suddenly it was like being at pondfilk again and I could do it.
I was totally blown away when mysticfig told me they had been and my concert and that I'd done a good job. I didn't see them, but then again, I wasn't tracking a whole lot outside the very front rows. It was very flattering to hear that since I consider them some of the most talented people in filk.
At one point during open filk, the lovely and talented quadrivium indulged me by letting me steal her away and play Sarcasm and Snark for her. I blame her song "Good Guys gone Bad" for inspiring it in the first place, so I really wanted her to hear it. billroper tagged along when I abducted her - I've never really had the chance to meet him before, and he proved to be a lovely and sweet gentleman.
admnaismith and I have been at the same place at the same time many times (Orycon, Conflikt, Pondfilk) but have never really connected or sat down and chatted. We had a lovely chat on Sunday night wherein he advised me that he had been every bit as nervous as I felt and it was an instant little bit of camaraderie that made me feel happy as to me, he always appears as eminently professional and absolutely confident. Also, he gives good hugs.
At the Pegasus dinner, I got to sit with phillip2637, janeg, sexybass, Sue, and another lovely couple from Toronto. It was very amusing when I realized that we were the All Canadian Table.
I've spent the last few days with pondside, solomons_pond, rms_butterfly, fuzzyvanman and Em. And many, many cats. It has been lovely, but far too short. We got to have dinner with Trace, judifilksign and Sparkle last night, which I enjoyed greatly. They introduced me to Jeni's Ice Cream, which is made of awesome sauce and win.
I have more in my head, but it is all a mushed up jumble. And also, time to catch the plane. So. More later.
Uhm. I had a good time, but I think that is apparent.