so whats up?

[shadaria]

*blink blink yawn stretch* odd very odd... i only got almost 4 hours of sleep last night. im not really tired tho. and im up before 8am without the alarm clock. very very fuckin odd. its been a great 2 weeks. the first weekend matt was here, he dyed my hair a plum color. i love it, as does he and my mom, and a lot of ppl at work. im changing again. i havent bitten my nails in nearly a month. i havent had a yellow jacket in like 3 months. i stopped smoking 3 days ago without sneaking so much as a hit off of someone elses cig. im eating at least once a day. im still losing weight, a little, but still maintaining the weight im at with eating so its all good. i havent gotten drunk in 2 weeks. im going back to being a 'good girl', something i didnt think id ever see again. its easy to stop doing things when you have the support of someone who loves you. and thats the other weird thing, i know he loves me. i know without a doubt that he is -in- love with me... something i never really knew with anyone else. and its all mutual thats the best part. and to think it only took us 7 years to say it *laugh* i love him so much, and its a good love, not that 'he said it so i have to say it' loves. sometimes it feels weird, like we are only friends, and then only a couple, and then into friends/couple. it is one, then another, then meshed so you cant tell what is what and back again. its a nice feeling. the way it should be. my daughter absolutely adores matt. shes alway ssittin on his lap striving for his attention. its soo cute. jimmy realy likes him too but sometimes he gets into the 'territorial' mindframe and gets lippy with matt. soemthing he will have to learn to deal with. i had to explain to jimmy that matt isnt going to be his daddy, that he already has a daddy, and that matt just wants to be his friend. its a hard thing to explain to a 3 year old. i hope he understands. either that or we are going to be having that conversation for a few years. shawn hasnt stopped by since the first weekend matt was here. shawn was pretty fucking pissed when he came into the house and saw matt lounging on the couch. i wanted to laugh so damn hard. i still havent gotten anything in child support yet either, its been almost a month, im gonna have to call the friend of the court next week to see whats up. looking for a vehicle seeing how my car is hell bent on dieing. piece of shit. and need to find a house to move into soon with 3 bedrooms. im really hoping for 3 bedrooms, i dont really want to stay in another place where im sleeping on the couch. now that matt and i are together it would be nice to have a room to ourselves, and an actual bed too.

well im off, we are having an open house at work today that we are going to, the main reason why i got up this fucking early in the first place.