(no subject)
I'm having a difficult time staying focused and I don't think TV, My Space, Friendster, or AIM are helping. Tv is a waste, AIM is fine IF I just talk to friends, and the rest--superficial means to feed my dwindling ego--and I'm licking it up compulsively to distract myself from what I'm supposed to be doing. It's become a vicious cycle. Enough.
I am failing in my job as a student, but I am going to change this. This semester is fucked, so I'll focus on managing my stress and anxiety and making a little cash. During the summer, I'll work and save money so that I can afford to not work next Fall semester, b/c I can't handle both. Then I will be the best possible student I can be. I'm tired of failure.
And I'm tired of being so hard on myself. There is a thin line between what is healthy and unhealthy self talk. The line borders productivity and non-productivity. I am swimming in the latter. I will work to change this. And I will work on feeding my ego and self-esteem in more lasting and real ways. By facing my fears and stepping up to challenge, perhaps? By being a loyal friend and girlfriend, perhaps? By loving myself to the max? (Yes--these are most definitely worthy of my time and efforts.)
This is a confusing, painful time in my life. But I will not fret b/c it will pass, and I'll be okay...b/c I have my soul and my passions and my friends.
I hope everyone is well. Love.
I am failing in my job as a student, but I am going to change this. This semester is fucked, so I'll focus on managing my stress and anxiety and making a little cash. During the summer, I'll work and save money so that I can afford to not work next Fall semester, b/c I can't handle both. Then I will be the best possible student I can be. I'm tired of failure.
And I'm tired of being so hard on myself. There is a thin line between what is healthy and unhealthy self talk. The line borders productivity and non-productivity. I am swimming in the latter. I will work to change this. And I will work on feeding my ego and self-esteem in more lasting and real ways. By facing my fears and stepping up to challenge, perhaps? By being a loyal friend and girlfriend, perhaps? By loving myself to the max? (Yes--these are most definitely worthy of my time and efforts.)
This is a confusing, painful time in my life. But I will not fret b/c it will pass, and I'll be okay...b/c I have my soul and my passions and my friends.
I hope everyone is well. Love.