(no subject)
Well I did it again folks. I managed to fuck something that might have been good and my life and now I am feeling the consequences. Why did I do that you ask. Well I'll tell you. It all began as a little joke and well after the questioning done by my dear mother if it all became real I started to wonder. Then i jokingly ran it by her and in doing so found out the she was strictly against it becoming real. Then after an amazing weekend, which I shall not forget anytime soon, I realized that I had slowly started to fall for her and well since she said not too I decided to end our little fun before I became seriously hurt. She took it kinda badly and that began the thoughts that maybe she might possible have fallin for me some way too. So I decided to convey these thoughts to her and I chose Dan's party as the place to do it. However neither of us knowing how to act around each other resulted in her being a dick at times and me being lovey dovey at times. Then I asked her to come with me so I could talk to her and she said she would but didn't. So I got mad went for a walk came back and saw something had began to bloom between her and Andrew. This little realization messed me up and I decided tonight was not the venue for this admitting of my feelings to her. We proceed to the next day where I tell her I need to talk to her later and this time he agrees. The venue becomes Erik's party where I ask her to come with me and we go for a little drive where I tell her how much I fucked up and how I wished I hadn't. Then she asked me the whole what should I do question and I responded with the whatever makes you happiest. Then she left and went inside where I followed and eventually walked in on her being in Andrew's arms so I decided to go and visit my good friends Miller Genuine Draft and Mary Jane. They were quite welcoming. Next day proceeds and I call her to see if she has decided and she said no and asked what exactly her options were. So I said "Well you could hook up with the mexi (Andrew), you could screw us both over, or you could go and try something with me." BUt then I said, "Wait a sec you won't try something with me cause the feelings are a one way thing coming form me too you." And she goes "how do you know that? Don't presume something you don't know." So know my brain starts working and it told me that maybe she might like you and she will pick you. That my friends was my downfall. The second i saw that I might have hope was the second I should have shot myself. Well as you must have guessed she later IMs me and tells me her decision and not surprisingly I am second best. And that is the story of how I recently managed to fuck up my already fucked up life. But well at least I know can go and visit my good friends Alcohol and Mary Jane without feeling bad. So my good friends I am off to the visit my friends, you are all welcome to join me. With love this is Shahab singing off.