.
So much has happened today. I can't even go into it because it's so weird.
But pretty much, I had to do something horrible because that's what it felt like I should do. It's painful and I'm sad but I can't be a push over. And I also realize things aren't like they are in the movies and this isn't going to end up resolving itself. He isn't going to care enough to make it right or make me feel better. There's not going to be a big gesture of love. It's just going to be. And I'll have to deal.
But pretty much, I had to do something horrible because that's what it felt like I should do. It's painful and I'm sad but I can't be a push over. And I also realize things aren't like they are in the movies and this isn't going to end up resolving itself. He isn't going to care enough to make it right or make me feel better. There's not going to be a big gesture of love. It's just going to be. And I'll have to deal.