its been a while
truth:
its late. kind of. i was up till 6 last night, but that was exciting. right now i am restless and reckless and lonely. made pizzas tonight, got off too late to have a good time. everyone else was too far gone by then, and the parents wouldnt let me leave after they fell asleep. i need to be free. i need freedom. this summer gave me that. now its gone. i'm getting use to it not being summer again. i don't like it. i'm getting used to settling for the safer, but less fun option.
i'm not really making sense. my brain is everywhere right now. this vikadin. this vikadin.
manson is changing. everything is always changing here socially. erin and i are friends, always were, always will be. but besides her, its just always moving so fast. but i feel like maybe this situation will be different. i always feel like this situation will be different. but it usually doesn't turn out that way. we are all too iresponsible.
latley its been me, erin, luke and michelle. i like that. we're all kind of losers, but kind of cool. we fit together kind of. i want to be able to open up to michelle and luke like i do with erin. i want that for this winter.
this summer i had hallie and rachel. that was something else. that was something. i don't know. i can't expect that for the winter. i don't think it could be like that in the winter even with them and their apartment back here. (i mean, the apartment is still in chelan, but its empty)
and i don't even want to think about my to-do list. it freaks me out. my future. the things i have to get done to make it how i want to. makes my brain hurt.
i just can't deal with my insanity right now.
its late. kind of. i was up till 6 last night, but that was exciting. right now i am restless and reckless and lonely. made pizzas tonight, got off too late to have a good time. everyone else was too far gone by then, and the parents wouldnt let me leave after they fell asleep. i need to be free. i need freedom. this summer gave me that. now its gone. i'm getting use to it not being summer again. i don't like it. i'm getting used to settling for the safer, but less fun option.
i'm not really making sense. my brain is everywhere right now. this vikadin. this vikadin.
manson is changing. everything is always changing here socially. erin and i are friends, always were, always will be. but besides her, its just always moving so fast. but i feel like maybe this situation will be different. i always feel like this situation will be different. but it usually doesn't turn out that way. we are all too iresponsible.
latley its been me, erin, luke and michelle. i like that. we're all kind of losers, but kind of cool. we fit together kind of. i want to be able to open up to michelle and luke like i do with erin. i want that for this winter.
this summer i had hallie and rachel. that was something else. that was something. i don't know. i can't expect that for the winter. i don't think it could be like that in the winter even with them and their apartment back here. (i mean, the apartment is still in chelan, but its empty)
and i don't even want to think about my to-do list. it freaks me out. my future. the things i have to get done to make it how i want to. makes my brain hurt.
i just can't deal with my insanity right now.