running through my head; running through my head.
so ive had quite the last couple of days. just being busy and going through a lot in my head. its tiring.
i keep hearing things over and over and dont know what to do with them.
he cheated with me.
"the other woman" she called herself.
that picture was for her & her...they shouldnt have been an equal person.
breaks.
time.
space.
question after question and thought after thought...
my mind never quits.
never stops.
never takes a break, or gives me a break.
and i dont know what to do except think it all out, try to talk about it, or write about.
ive found i cant really just push some of these things away. even though i wish i could, i wish i could snap my fingers and all these memories of past conversations and ideas would be gone. carrie bradshaw talked about this once in sex and the city about have partial lobotomies that erase your memory. that would be nice. not everything 'teaches you'...i would be just fine not remember a lot in my life, or even from just the past 2 years or even the past week.
but what does one really do?
i mean, i think that b|!@# is crazy and exaggerated, lied, said things at just the right moment to hurt me, etc. but...because of the messed up person i am my head goes..."what if she was telling the truth?" then what...
maybe harry & hermoine can come perform a memory modifier on me, that would be GREAT. id really appreciate it. very much, thanks.
perhaps eventually it will all just fade away...i hope.
i keep hearing things over and over and dont know what to do with them.
he cheated with me.
"the other woman" she called herself.
that picture was for her & her...they shouldnt have been an equal person.
breaks.
time.
space.
question after question and thought after thought...
my mind never quits.
never stops.
never takes a break, or gives me a break.
and i dont know what to do except think it all out, try to talk about it, or write about.
ive found i cant really just push some of these things away. even though i wish i could, i wish i could snap my fingers and all these memories of past conversations and ideas would be gone. carrie bradshaw talked about this once in sex and the city about have partial lobotomies that erase your memory. that would be nice. not everything 'teaches you'...i would be just fine not remember a lot in my life, or even from just the past 2 years or even the past week.
but what does one really do?
i mean, i think that b|!@# is crazy and exaggerated, lied, said things at just the right moment to hurt me, etc. but...because of the messed up person i am my head goes..."what if she was telling the truth?" then what...
maybe harry & hermoine can come perform a memory modifier on me, that would be GREAT. id really appreciate it. very much, thanks.
perhaps eventually it will all just fade away...i hope.