You left me for dead...
So things are getting a little better I guess...
My mom finally got out of the hospital on Thursday. I was happy that she's better BUT she's really starting to piss me off. I went to the mall yesterday with Molly and we were meeting up with a bunch of people. Well then Molly and Lauren left and Cassie was still there. [[Well there were other people but those were the ones driving]] So I asked Cassie if she wanted to come to my house. On the way home my mom called me and started yelling at me about how there are a bunch of people at my house. Uhm, I didnt invite them over. I knew she wasnt going to want a bunch of people there. So it made me mad that she yelled at me. Yet TJ and Tori were both at the house and could have done something about it. I mean, Im not one to invite people over when Im not there, thats just ignorant. So that pissed me off. Then once Cassie and I got to the house my mom left. I couldnt take being there any longer than what I was so I left and came to Cassies house. I spent the night here.
It was weird because at the mall I was going there with Molly so we could meet up with Tyler Bacon, Chad, and Jeremy. So it was weird because I knew Cassie was mad at me for hanging out with Jeremy. Like yeah, I sat on his lap and that probably didnt help things and yes I do flirt without realizing it. I cant help that. Its not like I would purposely try to hurt one of my friends and then stay at their house? That just doesnt make sence. If I would ever try to hurt someone by "hanging all over Jeremy" it would be a certain boy that I know that would get to. But yeah, he wasnt there so it doesnt even matter now does it?
I dunno. All this stupid crap is pissing me off. I have so much on my mind right now. Im so far behind at school. I need to study a lot if I want to pass with good grades. Otherwise my grades are just going to be shit and thats not going to be good. My mom is pretty much telling me that Im worthless. So that doesnt really help me strive to be anything, it just makes me want to give up more. This shit just really sucks. I sometimes just hate my mom. She expects way too much from me and I try to talk to her about it. But she doesnt want to hear it. All she does it fight with me about it and say how Im just giving up and she yells at me even more about stuff saying that Im full of shit and need to grow up. Or some stupid stuff like that. She never just listens to what I have to say and actually looks at it the same way that I do. She just ignores what I want in life and she only thinks about what she wants for me. Im sorry its not the same damn thing. I dont want to do something spectacular, well not the same kind of spectacular that she wants. I want to do something simple in life. Thats what my true passion is for, the simple things in life. I want to do something that makes a decent living for myself and my family but I dont want to go to be a lawyer or a doctor. I really just want to start a family. I dont really want to depend on someone else though. So I want to be able to make good money to support me and my family. UGH! Thats all I want and it sucks to want something like that this young when I know I cant have it now. It just hurts. Just in case your thinking I want to be a stay at home mom, your wrong. I could never do that. I'd lose my mind, Im serious. But its not like I would be one of those mothers who are always gone and out partying. I'd be there for my family, thats my number one priority. I dunno...
Well Im done with this entry. I need to stop rambling about how I want to start a family and all that other crap. Tomorrow is Easter, so we're going to my grandmas house for dinner. I'll write if anything good happens.
♥/Samme'
"I got a first class ticket to a night all alone..."
My mom finally got out of the hospital on Thursday. I was happy that she's better BUT she's really starting to piss me off. I went to the mall yesterday with Molly and we were meeting up with a bunch of people. Well then Molly and Lauren left and Cassie was still there. [[Well there were other people but those were the ones driving]] So I asked Cassie if she wanted to come to my house. On the way home my mom called me and started yelling at me about how there are a bunch of people at my house. Uhm, I didnt invite them over. I knew she wasnt going to want a bunch of people there. So it made me mad that she yelled at me. Yet TJ and Tori were both at the house and could have done something about it. I mean, Im not one to invite people over when Im not there, thats just ignorant. So that pissed me off. Then once Cassie and I got to the house my mom left. I couldnt take being there any longer than what I was so I left and came to Cassies house. I spent the night here.
It was weird because at the mall I was going there with Molly so we could meet up with Tyler Bacon, Chad, and Jeremy. So it was weird because I knew Cassie was mad at me for hanging out with Jeremy. Like yeah, I sat on his lap and that probably didnt help things and yes I do flirt without realizing it. I cant help that. Its not like I would purposely try to hurt one of my friends and then stay at their house? That just doesnt make sence. If I would ever try to hurt someone by "hanging all over Jeremy" it would be a certain boy that I know that would get to. But yeah, he wasnt there so it doesnt even matter now does it?
I dunno. All this stupid crap is pissing me off. I have so much on my mind right now. Im so far behind at school. I need to study a lot if I want to pass with good grades. Otherwise my grades are just going to be shit and thats not going to be good. My mom is pretty much telling me that Im worthless. So that doesnt really help me strive to be anything, it just makes me want to give up more. This shit just really sucks. I sometimes just hate my mom. She expects way too much from me and I try to talk to her about it. But she doesnt want to hear it. All she does it fight with me about it and say how Im just giving up and she yells at me even more about stuff saying that Im full of shit and need to grow up. Or some stupid stuff like that. She never just listens to what I have to say and actually looks at it the same way that I do. She just ignores what I want in life and she only thinks about what she wants for me. Im sorry its not the same damn thing. I dont want to do something spectacular, well not the same kind of spectacular that she wants. I want to do something simple in life. Thats what my true passion is for, the simple things in life. I want to do something that makes a decent living for myself and my family but I dont want to go to be a lawyer or a doctor. I really just want to start a family. I dont really want to depend on someone else though. So I want to be able to make good money to support me and my family. UGH! Thats all I want and it sucks to want something like that this young when I know I cant have it now. It just hurts. Just in case your thinking I want to be a stay at home mom, your wrong. I could never do that. I'd lose my mind, Im serious. But its not like I would be one of those mothers who are always gone and out partying. I'd be there for my family, thats my number one priority. I dunno...
Well Im done with this entry. I need to stop rambling about how I want to start a family and all that other crap. Tomorrow is Easter, so we're going to my grandmas house for dinner. I'll write if anything good happens.
♥/Samme'
"I got a first class ticket to a night all alone..."