Sgwiglonia Classic #1 - Screwed?
Once, long ago, around the time I was in eleventh grade, I had another Live Journal titled “Sgwiglonia”. Occasionally I would write something funny. One day, maybe like four days ago, I deleted the whole thing. However, I did save some of the more memorable entries. Here’s one of them. I hope you don't find my reposting old entries a cop-out, but it must be done for the good of those who missed out.
“Screwed?” - Originally Posted February 28th, 2004
One thing about today’s society that I find particularly saddening is the overuse of the word “screwed”. It seems as though everyone goes around these days mumbling about how screwed they are and complaining that they are “sooo incredibly screwed”, when in reality, most of these people are not screwed at all. In order to curb such shameless overuse of the phrase, I have devised a simple test to determine whether one is screwed or not. The next time you feel screwed, ask yourself the following question: “Can truly nothing be done?” If the answer is yes, then you are indeed a screwed person.
Examples of people who are screwed:
- Students with 400 pages of Moby Dick to read by tomorrow morning
- Archeologists securely locked in underground tombs and smothered in bloodsucking scarabs
Examples of people who are not screwed:
- Students with 100 pages of Moby Dick to read by tomorrow morning
- Archeologists who happen to be quite hungry after a long day of discovering treasure
Hopefully I have made it clear who is truly screwed and who is merely in a dangerous, annoying or inconvenient situation. In fact, I personally would go so far as to submit that the only situation in which one could possibly be considered screwed would be one involving bloodsucking scarabs, or maybe bloodsucking Sacher. Beyond that, stop complaining and start reading or eating or whatever you need to do to fix the stupid problem.
“Screwed?” - Originally Posted February 28th, 2004
One thing about today’s society that I find particularly saddening is the overuse of the word “screwed”. It seems as though everyone goes around these days mumbling about how screwed they are and complaining that they are “sooo incredibly screwed”, when in reality, most of these people are not screwed at all. In order to curb such shameless overuse of the phrase, I have devised a simple test to determine whether one is screwed or not. The next time you feel screwed, ask yourself the following question: “Can truly nothing be done?” If the answer is yes, then you are indeed a screwed person.
Examples of people who are screwed:
- Students with 400 pages of Moby Dick to read by tomorrow morning
- Archeologists securely locked in underground tombs and smothered in bloodsucking scarabs
Examples of people who are not screwed:
- Students with 100 pages of Moby Dick to read by tomorrow morning
- Archeologists who happen to be quite hungry after a long day of discovering treasure
Hopefully I have made it clear who is truly screwed and who is merely in a dangerous, annoying or inconvenient situation. In fact, I personally would go so far as to submit that the only situation in which one could possibly be considered screwed would be one involving bloodsucking scarabs, or maybe bloodsucking Sacher. Beyond that, stop complaining and start reading or eating or whatever you need to do to fix the stupid problem.