Update Part 2
I was just looking back at my past entries (which I almost never do) and realized just how much like a 16-year-old I was behaving. Well, mostly involving Miranda. I wonder if I really had such a crush, or if I was just scared and lonley. *shrugs* I feel like an idiot; so many things that everyone else has had to deal with or gotten to do before and I'm only just experiencing them at 24 years old. Mostly dealing with women. How am I ever going to learn these things now without making an absolute ass of myself? :-( I know in my heart that I should just deal with them however is most natural to me and let the lady decide rather than being tricksy and false, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I definitely feel like I've wasted some of the best years of my life; except for the "women" part...I adored the tme i've spent with Erin. But at the same time, I know I'm still young...I just have to be sure to enjoy the rest of it. Do the things I want to do, try new things, go new places, learn a language, ask a girl out on a date. And no, German doesn't count.
Anyway, Miranda and I get along just fine now. She got over her holier-than-thou phase, I got over the stupid, sad puppy dog crush, and we're back to being each other's alternative to lonliness. I mean that in a good kind of way; she's quickly regained the throne of being the most enjoyable roommate I've had. Of course, she more often (read: always) finds someone else to fill the "warm body to talk to" role than I do. Mainly because she has a boy at the moment, but she also has friends that live within an hour's drive. She's not really sure if she wants him or not, but he treats her nice and is a pretty good lay (at least he'd better be for all the noise they make *smirks*), and at that point I'm not sure I'd turn him away either just yet. Of course that's one difference between her and me: I would never use someone who was merely "a warm body to talk to." You know, I wonder why hearing roommates having sex really doesn't bother me. Miranda and Dan don't get all moany and screamy, but if they did I'm quite sure that it wouldn't bother me. It didn't when I lived with Nathan, nor when Steve would do the flavor of the night in the lower bunk. I get a bit envious, to be sure (well, not so much of Nathan seeing as how he's gay), but not really upset.
I wonder if I rate an entire paragraph in Miranda's journal entries. Probably not.
The PT is going really well. I can do 3 pullups, 49 crunches in two minutes, and 2 miles in 19:23. For those of you keeping score, that is quite an improvement despite what some of my earlier, errant entries might lead you to believe. My pullup count is incredibly depressing, but when i started I couldn't even pull myself up to a 90-degree bend in the elbow. I'm not sure what my current weight is, but 2 weeks ago I weighed in at 215. I'm down to 18% body fat too, which is the maximum for the yearly PFT's that all Marines have to do. That's good, right? I doesn't sound very good to me. I was pretty surprised to see myself in the mirror after a shower at Mom's (my bathroom mirror only comes down to my shoulders). Much more muscle definition than I ever would've guessed. Not sexy to be sure...but at least I can see that I'm getting better. Numbers can be so abstract at times.
Winter Break was a disaster. Erin brought her stupid cat with her. Cats are okay - and Calvin is pretty cute - but she treats it better than she treats me. And I had to hold him the entire 11.5-hour drive to Albany, which of course resulted in a solid layer of cat hair on my favorite swatshirt that he tore up constanly climbing up my chest to get on top of my seat. And Of course I spent the entire break trying to decide what I'm going to do about her, and so I sorta neglected to practice. Band was 15-1700 yesterday, and it was the first time I'd played for more than 45 minutes in a month. I didn't hurt or anything afterwards, but I did manage to suck ass the whole time. Not that I was all that good at sightreading to begin with.
Did I mention that I'm not going to graduate? Yeah, I did awful in my 20th C. Theory class, so it doesn't count. It's not offered again until next fall, and I can't bear to put my life on hold for another year just for some stupid piece of paper that says "Yes, I was rich enough to spend $40,000 learning to do something that I could've just studied privately and learned an unimaginable amount more." I told Prof. Sinder, and he said it would be silly to wait a year for a degree when I already have a job waiting for me. "If you're good enough to get a job as a classical musician without a degree, than more power to you." I agree. If I decide I can't stand the Corps. (which will not happen), I can always do my four years and then go back to school for my TWO classes. But as it stands, I don't need the stupid degree to do the things I want to do, so I'm not going to put those dreams on the back burner for something that doesn't matter. Besides, I'm incredibly ashamed of my actual tuba skill level, and the Micigan State University School of Music should be ashamed of giving such a half-assed punk like me a Bachelor of Arts degree. I'd much rather come back and feel like I've earned it, rather than simply having completed the coursework. I just hope I can get my mom to understand...
Anyway, Miranda and I get along just fine now. She got over her holier-than-thou phase, I got over the stupid, sad puppy dog crush, and we're back to being each other's alternative to lonliness. I mean that in a good kind of way; she's quickly regained the throne of being the most enjoyable roommate I've had. Of course, she more often (read: always) finds someone else to fill the "warm body to talk to" role than I do. Mainly because she has a boy at the moment, but she also has friends that live within an hour's drive. She's not really sure if she wants him or not, but he treats her nice and is a pretty good lay (at least he'd better be for all the noise they make *smirks*), and at that point I'm not sure I'd turn him away either just yet. Of course that's one difference between her and me: I would never use someone who was merely "a warm body to talk to." You know, I wonder why hearing roommates having sex really doesn't bother me. Miranda and Dan don't get all moany and screamy, but if they did I'm quite sure that it wouldn't bother me. It didn't when I lived with Nathan, nor when Steve would do the flavor of the night in the lower bunk. I get a bit envious, to be sure (well, not so much of Nathan seeing as how he's gay), but not really upset.
I wonder if I rate an entire paragraph in Miranda's journal entries. Probably not.
The PT is going really well. I can do 3 pullups, 49 crunches in two minutes, and 2 miles in 19:23. For those of you keeping score, that is quite an improvement despite what some of my earlier, errant entries might lead you to believe. My pullup count is incredibly depressing, but when i started I couldn't even pull myself up to a 90-degree bend in the elbow. I'm not sure what my current weight is, but 2 weeks ago I weighed in at 215. I'm down to 18% body fat too, which is the maximum for the yearly PFT's that all Marines have to do. That's good, right? I doesn't sound very good to me. I was pretty surprised to see myself in the mirror after a shower at Mom's (my bathroom mirror only comes down to my shoulders). Much more muscle definition than I ever would've guessed. Not sexy to be sure...but at least I can see that I'm getting better. Numbers can be so abstract at times.
Winter Break was a disaster. Erin brought her stupid cat with her. Cats are okay - and Calvin is pretty cute - but she treats it better than she treats me. And I had to hold him the entire 11.5-hour drive to Albany, which of course resulted in a solid layer of cat hair on my favorite swatshirt that he tore up constanly climbing up my chest to get on top of my seat. And Of course I spent the entire break trying to decide what I'm going to do about her, and so I sorta neglected to practice. Band was 15-1700 yesterday, and it was the first time I'd played for more than 45 minutes in a month. I didn't hurt or anything afterwards, but I did manage to suck ass the whole time. Not that I was all that good at sightreading to begin with.
Did I mention that I'm not going to graduate? Yeah, I did awful in my 20th C. Theory class, so it doesn't count. It's not offered again until next fall, and I can't bear to put my life on hold for another year just for some stupid piece of paper that says "Yes, I was rich enough to spend $40,000 learning to do something that I could've just studied privately and learned an unimaginable amount more." I told Prof. Sinder, and he said it would be silly to wait a year for a degree when I already have a job waiting for me. "If you're good enough to get a job as a classical musician without a degree, than more power to you." I agree. If I decide I can't stand the Corps. (which will not happen), I can always do my four years and then go back to school for my TWO classes. But as it stands, I don't need the stupid degree to do the things I want to do, so I'm not going to put those dreams on the back burner for something that doesn't matter. Besides, I'm incredibly ashamed of my actual tuba skill level, and the Micigan State University School of Music should be ashamed of giving such a half-assed punk like me a Bachelor of Arts degree. I'd much rather come back and feel like I've earned it, rather than simply having completed the coursework. I just hope I can get my mom to understand...