The world, etc.....
It's amazing, how everyday we all wake up. Go to work, go to school, go about our daily lives and we have no purpose or direction. It hurts to watch others flail about in the muck we call life. I fall in the muck from time to time. That is when I remember how much it hurts to exist. I am on a mission, to feel good towards everyone around me. To feel love for these people. No matter who they are or what they do. I am working towards a better future for myself.
Things that have changed for me are few and may seem small, but they speak volumes for me. I still love my guns, but not for killing. Someday I may even be completely done with firearms. I do homework and keep a day planner, anyone who knows my history knows these are new practices. I am trying to be braver and more confrontational, I am trying to set firmer boundaries with the people I surround myself with. It's working out well for me.
I am still fighting a few conflicts inside myself while I try and find peace. I still have problems with depression and anger. My insides get all bound up with hurt and confusion. I fear it is repressed pain and anger over the past, these are things I need to let go of. The other night I was told to be happy. I want to be happy again, trust me I do. I am working towards it everyday. I will be whole someday, as long as I don't burst at the seams first.
Things that have changed for me are few and may seem small, but they speak volumes for me. I still love my guns, but not for killing. Someday I may even be completely done with firearms. I do homework and keep a day planner, anyone who knows my history knows these are new practices. I am trying to be braver and more confrontational, I am trying to set firmer boundaries with the people I surround myself with. It's working out well for me.
I am still fighting a few conflicts inside myself while I try and find peace. I still have problems with depression and anger. My insides get all bound up with hurt and confusion. I fear it is repressed pain and anger over the past, these are things I need to let go of. The other night I was told to be happy. I want to be happy again, trust me I do. I am working towards it everyday. I will be whole someday, as long as I don't burst at the seams first.