Fic: Thanks with Tears, Angel/Willow/Spike, 9/50
Chapter Nine
Angel quietly made his way into Spike’s room, trying not to wake up the sleeping vampire. He walked over to the closet and started hanging up the shirts the girls had bought for his Childe. He smiled as he looked at the purchases. There were several button down shirts, some in very un-Spike like colors. "Like he’ll ever wear these" he whispered.
After all the shirts were put away, he pulled out the T-shirts and jeans packed at the bottom of the bags. Most of those were black, but they had managed to throw some color in there as well.
When Angel had finished putting all the clothes away, he reached in the last bag and pulled out the two pairs of boots and the socks the girls had bought. He put these away and planned on sneaking out of the room but decided to take one last look at the sleeping vampire. As he turned around, he was surprised to find Spike awake, staring at him.
“What are you doing, Peaches?” Spike asked with a sad look in his eyes.
“Just putting some stuff away,” Angel replied before walking over to sit on the edge of the bed.
“What stuff?” Spike asked, sounding confused. “Ain’t got no stuff of my own, ‘cept what I was wearing when I got here.”
“I had Cordelia and Willow go out and buy some stuff for you,” Angel explained. “I knew you needed some things and I couldn’t let you keep wearing the things you had on before.”
“You let the bints pick out some clothes for me?” Spike asked the fear for his reputation standing out in his voice.
“They did a fine job picking stuff out for you,” Angel smiled as he thought about Spike in the midnight blue shirt, knowing it would really bring out the blue in his eyes. "Do you think you are ready to come downstairs yet?” he asked, hoping Spike would be willing to leave the security of his new room. “I got a fresh supply of blood. Human, if you think you can drink it.”
“Really?” Spike asked, obviously shocked.
“Yes, you’re going to need it if you are going to heal properly,” Angel looked at Spike out of the corner of his eye, watching him for any sign that the vampire's new soul might have apprehensions about this at all. “As much as I have enjoyed it, you can’t live on my blood alone. You need more than I can give you.”
“It was nice though,” Spike whispered, almost too quietly for Angel to hear.
“Yeah,” Angel sighed as he stood to head out of the room. “I told Willow I’d meet her downstairs. She wanted to talk. If you want, why don’t you get dressed and come down. I’ll warm up some blood and the three of us can talk about your journey and what we need to do.”
“Whatever,” Spike said as he shifted on the bed, hesitating, as if he was nervous about being naked before the other vampire.
Angel noticed the hesitation and quickly turned to head out the door. “I’ll see you downstairs then.” As he closed the door, Angel wondered what his Childe was doing on the other side.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Spike covered his face with his hands as he thought about everything Angel was doing for him. Not that he didn’t appreciate it, he just didn’t understand it. He slowly got out of the bed on shaky feet and made his way to the closet.
“Bloody chits,” Spike whispered as he looked at the shirts hanging before him. Some of them weren’t too bad, but there was not a chance in hell he was going to wear that green one. Only poofs like his Sire would wear a green shirt. He decided to just be safe and wear a black T-shirt and black jeans. At least they had been smart enough to buy those for him.
He considered shoes, but he didn’t have the energy nor the patience to bother. Besides, he wasn’t going outside, so barefeet would just have to do for now.
As he padded downstairs, he wondered what they would talk about. He could hear the sounds of conversation going on below him. All conversation stopped when the people heard him coming down the stairs. Angel, Cordelia and Willow smiled up at him as he approached. Willow was the first to say something.
“Spike,” she said cheerily as he walked towards them. “It’s so good to see you up and around. How are you feeling?”
“Not sure yet,” he answered quietly. “Head’s still a little fuzzy.”
“Well,” Angel said looking at him with compassion in his eyes. “I warmed some blood for you, if you think you can handle it.”
“Ta, mate.” Spike took the warmed mug from Angel and sat with the three other people at the table as the conversation continued. Most of it was small talk, dancing around the touchier subjects. Willow talked about Buffy’s adjustment from being ripped out of heaven, Xander leaving Anya at the alter, and Dawn’s troubles. She talked in length about the time Xander called the musical demon down on them. Even Spike couldn’t help but laugh about that one. He got to unleash a little bit of his inner Billy Idol and he had fun.
It all seemed so long ago, not just a few mere months.
Cordelia and Angel talked about some of the things that had happened to them, specifically about Cordelia accepting the offer to become half demon. It was obviously an adjustment but it certainly was better than the head splitting pain she once had to endure when the Powers had a message for Angel.
Finally, Spike finished his blood and Cordelia went about the task of clearing off the table. The three others sat in a comfortable silence until she returned.
“Well, folks as much as I enjoy sitting around and talking about the pain and sorrow that is our lives, I really do need to get home and get some rest,” the Seer sighed. “So, unless you need anything else, I’ll be on my merry way.”
“No problem, Cordy,” Angel said with a smile.
“'Kay," she replied simply as she grabbed her purse and strolled out the door.
With her gone, silence descended on the group again. They all had something to say, but no one knew how to start. Willow was the first to speak.
“So, Spike, how are you feeling, really?”
“A bit out of sorts, Pet,” he started. “It’s like everything higgly-piggly in my brain. sometimes I can’t decide what’s real and what’s memories. Sodding vampire gifts. Really great memories. I remember everything.”
“I know how that feels,” Angel interjected quietly. “At first it’s hard to get used to all the feelings, but it will happen in time. But first we need to get you healthy again. You need more blood.”
“Don’t want more,” Spike whispered quietly, looking down at the table avoiding the other vampire’s glare. “Hurts.”
“I know it’s hard to drink human blood when you're used to animal blood,” Angel said, trying to sound soothing. “But it will be better for you. The only thing better is Sire’s blood and I only have so much to give.”
“Sire’s blood,” Spike snorted.
“So is Grand-Sire’s blood just as good?” Willow asked, she looked confused.
“What?” Angel asked.
“Well, you said Sire’s blood would work best, but Drusilla isn’t here, so I guess your blood would be just as good, right?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Angel demanded.
“Drusilla is Spike’s Sire, so that makes you his Grand-Sire,” Willow explained.
“What?” Angel practically yelled as stood from the table to tower over the now cowering blonde vampire.
“Spike told Buffy that Drusilla was his Sire,” Willow replied.
“You told her what?” Angel raged.
“You’re not my Sire,” Spike replied weakly, never lifting his eyes from table’s surface.
“I am your Sire boy!” Angel shouted at the trembling form in front of him as his demon rose up and his eyes turn golden.
“What?” Willow gasped.
“Drusilla found Spike and wanted to turn him,” Angel explained through clenched teeth, trying to maintain his calm. “But I found her before he could drink from her. I didn’t know what her blood would do to him because of her mental state. Besides, I wanted him. He had something that appealed to me - I mean, Angelus. It’s my blood in his veins. He was always Angelus’ Favored One - despite the fact that I tried to end him more than once.”
Without warning, Spike jumped to his feet and punched Angel in the face. Tears were streaming down his face as he yelled at the form now lying prostrate on the floor. “You are not my Sire!”
“I am your Sire, boy,” Angel growled menacingly as he got up from the floor. “And you’d best not forget it.”
Willow sat frozen with shock.
“You are not my Sire!” Spike yelled again, with even more conviction in his voice. He was so angry, his vision was tainted red. “My Sire would never have abandoned me like you did!”
“Spike,” Angel whispered, “After I was cursed, I couldn’t come back. I tried, but Darla threw me out. She hated my soul and wouldn’t let me stay.”
“But you never came to me,” Spike yelled, his voice pitched high with rage. “I wouldn’t have cared about the damn soul. I wanted you. I needed you. You left me with her. You said you would always protect me from her. Do you know what she did to me? Did you even care!?” Spike was beyond all reasonable thought. All he knew was pain and grief.
Angel hung his head, unable to even look at Spike. “I’m so sorry, Will,” he whispered.
“No!” Spike screamed, trembling with fury. “You don’t get off that easily, Peaches. All you’re good at is leaving me. Remember China? I was so happy to have you back I was tripping over meself, but you barely gave me the time of day! You were all soul-having, the only person you had time for was Darla.” Spike practically spat out the last word. .
“As soon as the bitch made it hard on you, you left me - again!” Spike was now pacing the floor as he clenched his fists until his knuckles were no more than stripes of white. “Then at the school in Sunnydale, you pretended to be Angelus when you offered up the whelp, remember!”
“I remember,” Angel admitted.
“I knew you weren’t my Sire - wanna know how?” Not waiting for a response, Spike continued. “You called me Spike. Angelus never called me Spike. He hated that bloody name. He always called me William or Will. That’s when I knew you weren’t my Sire anymore.”
Angel sighed. "I’m sorr…”
“No!” Spike interrupted. “I’m not done. My Sire came back after that, remember? But he wasn’t my Sire, was he?”
“When I lost my soul,” he answered.
“Yeah,” Spike spat at him. “You have no idea how happy I was that Angelus was back. I thought we would go back to being the family we had been before. But you were an even big bastard to me than you were before. You could have healed me then. I sat in that blasted wheelchair waiting for you to come and heal me. Just a few days of feeding and I would have been fine, but you refused. You refused!”
Angel sat back down in his chair and put his face in his hands, as if he couldn't stand to hear any more.
“Didn't fix me,” Spike continued. “Didn't bleedin' bother and then you made things worse. You’d fucked me and pounded me knowing that my back was broken. You wanted to keep me like that. Then you got your fucking soul back and where was poor Spikey then? Back on the outside again! Nothing’s ever good enough for you! I was never good enough for you!”
“Spike,” Angel whispered, trying to regain control of the situation. “Please.”
“No!” the enraged vampire yelled, grabbing the older man by the collar of his shirt. “YOU-ARE-NOT-MY-SIRE!”
Then Spike abruptly pushed him away and tore upstairs to hide.
tbc...
Chapter 10