Ficlet: One of These Things is not Like the Other, Xander/puppet!Angel, Prompt #30 - Kinky
I believe I have just secured my ticket on the bus to hell. Yes, I have written puppet!porn. piksa, you are evil because this idea ate my brain. This is total crack. Enjoy.
Written for smut_69 and piksa.
Title: One of These Things is not Like the Other
Fandom: Joss'verse
Pairing: Xander/puppet!Angel
Rating: Adult/Mature
Prompt: #30 - Kinky
Word Count: 1,360
Warnings: Crack!fic, puppet!porn.
My Big Smutty Table
It was, without a doubt, Xander's weirdest week ever. And that was a seriously tough race considering the man had grown up going to a high school built over a magical portal to hell, fought vampires on a regular basis, was engaged to a former vengeance demon and, apparently, a musical demon named Sweet.
But this was definitely the weirdest ever.
It started with a call from Spike. Spike. The vampire who had died closing the Hellmouth. Spike. Nice, dead Spike.
Spike called to say (a) Hey, Xander, I'm not dead, well, not held in an alternate dimension inside the Elizabeth Taylor collection magical amulet - to which Xander had immediately launched into a rant that may or may not have included the phrase "Thanks for the 'I'm not really dead anymore' memo, Spike!" but Xander would most likely deny that. Once the vampire had the livid Scooby calmed down he further explained that he had called to let Xander know that (b) Angel had been changed into a puppet.
Xander sat froze, satellite phone clenched to his ear until he choked out, "Who is this really?"
Finally, after much insults and mutual reminiscing, Xander was convinced.
And then he was on the next flight to Los Angeles.
This was one thing that he was not going to miss.
Xander had always been fascinated by puppets; Kermit, Grover, especially Bert and Ernie. They were cute and fluffy but smart and witty. He liked their little floppy heads when they talked and their permanent smiles.
Angel had all of that - well, except for the permanent smile…and the wit. Just like the Deadboy he remembered, Angel in his puppet form had retained the brooding scowl that the Scooby remembered so well. But he was also fuzzy and had fluffy hair and four of the cutest little fingers.
Angel didn't take Xander's presence very well at the beginning. He didn't seem to care much for Xander's constant staring or the way the Scooby would work himself close enough to stroke the back Angel's neck or run his fingers across the back of Angel's hands. Xander decided he loved the soft fuzziness of the felt and poofiness of the tufts of black hair and the fit of the little puppet clothes.
By the end of the day, all the touching and staring seemed to be more than the little puppet man could take and he took Xander aside. "Look, Xander, you're driving my crazy. Come up to my apartment in one hour. You can get all your little puppet touching out of the way and then you can go home, alright?!"
Xander had agreed and went off with Spike for a drink or ten to wait.
In the end, an hour was a little too long for the young man to wait. He hurried to the penthouse apartment inside the Wolfram and Hart building, aware that he was stumbling slightly. Maybe he'd had a little more than he'd intended to drink while he was hanging out with Spike, but that always seemed to happen to the two of them. Spike was a great drinking buddy.
Xander made it to the apartment and quietly let himself in It was only polite, he figured, since Angel was probably too short to reach the doorknob, so he wandered through the penthouse, looking for the little puppet man. When he reached the small bedroom, he stood frozen in the doorway.
Angel was standing in the middle of his bedroom in all his naked puppet glory. Xander stared at the yards and yards of uninterrupted felt, it looked so soft and fluffy, he couldn't help but move closer for a touch.
Angel started when he felt the young man behind him. Turning his head to look over this shoulder, the vampire growled, "You're early. Get out of here so I can get dressed."
Xander either didn't hear him, or simply ignored him as usual as he moved closer. Reaching out, Xander traced the tattoo on Angel's shoulder, the one that was now stitched on with embroidery thread instead of etched with ink.
"That is so cool," Xander whispered as he ran a single fingertip over gryphon, reveling in the feeling of the thread and felt. His other hand reached out to stroke the naked back, enjoying the feel of the soft fabric over tight foam muscles.
"What are you doing?" Angel whispered, his voice rough and tight.
"You feel so good," Xander purred quietly.
"Well, stop it," the vampire complained, not sounding nearly as convincing as he should. The puppet man moved away from the Scooby, trying to reach his clothes, when Xander gasped. "What?"
"You have..." Xander gaped and pointed at Angel puppet genitalia. He never even imagined that he would have - that.
"Yes," Angel growled. "I do have. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Well, Kermit and Grover didn't, but Kermit was a frog and Grover was a monster, so maybe they were different. And Ernie and Bert wore pants…at least I think they did."
Xander had gone off into his own little world, wondering how he could have missed the idea of Angel with a package made of fabric. Angel backed away as the young man moved closer and closer, a wild gleam in his eye. He stopped when he hit the foot of the bed. Xander easily picked him up and laid him on the soft covers before running his hands over the soft trembling thighs. Angel's felt penis began to swell and Xander spared a brain cell or two to wonder how that was possible before his noted the vampire's size.
"Was there some weird proportion distortion that happened in the puppet transference process or are you normally..?"
"No, Xander. I'm really am..."
"Well hung," Xander finished for him as he reached out to stroke the hardening fluffy penis.
Angel groaned at the sensation, his head falling back on the soft covers as he let Xander touch and stroke. Xander reached down with his other hand to cup Angel's soft balls. He's always thought of his own balls as fuzzy, but Angel's truly were in every sense of the word.
The young man was fascinated by the soft fabric and needy little puppet sounds escaping Angel's throat. Sure, it was kinky. Probably kinkier than anything Xander had ever done before. But it was the tiny, brown fabric nipples that was the young man's undoing. Removing the hand fondling the small fuzzy balls, Xander reached up to run a finger over a single fingertip over the soft pebbled fabric.
Angel groaned beneath him and Xander's hands moved faster, bringing the fabric cock to full hardness and rubbing the little nipples nearly raw. It finally all became too much and Xander quickly pulled open his belt and ripped open his fly. His cock was aching and the first tentative thrust against Angel's felt body sent electricity straight up the young man's spine.
He lay down on top of the now panting puppet, thrusting and rutting wildly against the soft body below him. He wasn't too worried about crushing Angel, after all, he was a vampire so he didn't need to breathe, and as a puppet, Xander wasn't sure the semantics were.
Xander thrust harder as Angel warned, "Xander."
The young man looked down just as Angel's face changed, his game face coming to the fore. The tiny fangs, soft ridges and glowing eyes were too much for the young man and he groaned as he came hard. He thrust down once more, watching in awe as Angel came as well, small bits of white string erupting from the fuzzy cock.
Exhausted, Xander collapsed onto the bed, panting hard. Finally summoning enough energy to move, he pulled Angel up the bed before pulling the blankets over the both of them. Snuggling the puppet close like he had once his teddy bear, Xander sighed. He needed a good night's rest. He figured he'd be spending most of the following day on the internet, googling until he couldn't google anymore, because there was no way he was going to ask Wesley how to get come strains out of felt.
The End. *g*
Written for smut_69 and piksa.
Title: One of These Things is not Like the Other
Fandom: Joss'verse
Pairing: Xander/puppet!Angel
Rating: Adult/Mature
Prompt: #30 - Kinky
Word Count: 1,360
Warnings: Crack!fic, puppet!porn.
My Big Smutty Table
It was, without a doubt, Xander's weirdest week ever. And that was a seriously tough race considering the man had grown up going to a high school built over a magical portal to hell, fought vampires on a regular basis, was engaged to a former vengeance demon and, apparently, a musical demon named Sweet.
But this was definitely the weirdest ever.
It started with a call from Spike. Spike. The vampire who had died closing the Hellmouth. Spike. Nice, dead Spike.
Spike called to say (a) Hey, Xander, I'm not dead, well, not held in an alternate dimension inside the Elizabeth Taylor collection magical amulet - to which Xander had immediately launched into a rant that may or may not have included the phrase "Thanks for the 'I'm not really dead anymore' memo, Spike!" but Xander would most likely deny that. Once the vampire had the livid Scooby calmed down he further explained that he had called to let Xander know that (b) Angel had been changed into a puppet.
Xander sat froze, satellite phone clenched to his ear until he choked out, "Who is this really?"
Finally, after much insults and mutual reminiscing, Xander was convinced.
And then he was on the next flight to Los Angeles.
This was one thing that he was not going to miss.
Xander had always been fascinated by puppets; Kermit, Grover, especially Bert and Ernie. They were cute and fluffy but smart and witty. He liked their little floppy heads when they talked and their permanent smiles.
Angel had all of that - well, except for the permanent smile…and the wit. Just like the Deadboy he remembered, Angel in his puppet form had retained the brooding scowl that the Scooby remembered so well. But he was also fuzzy and had fluffy hair and four of the cutest little fingers.
Angel didn't take Xander's presence very well at the beginning. He didn't seem to care much for Xander's constant staring or the way the Scooby would work himself close enough to stroke the back Angel's neck or run his fingers across the back of Angel's hands. Xander decided he loved the soft fuzziness of the felt and poofiness of the tufts of black hair and the fit of the little puppet clothes.
By the end of the day, all the touching and staring seemed to be more than the little puppet man could take and he took Xander aside. "Look, Xander, you're driving my crazy. Come up to my apartment in one hour. You can get all your little puppet touching out of the way and then you can go home, alright?!"
Xander had agreed and went off with Spike for a drink or ten to wait.
In the end, an hour was a little too long for the young man to wait. He hurried to the penthouse apartment inside the Wolfram and Hart building, aware that he was stumbling slightly. Maybe he'd had a little more than he'd intended to drink while he was hanging out with Spike, but that always seemed to happen to the two of them. Spike was a great drinking buddy.
Xander made it to the apartment and quietly let himself in It was only polite, he figured, since Angel was probably too short to reach the doorknob, so he wandered through the penthouse, looking for the little puppet man. When he reached the small bedroom, he stood frozen in the doorway.
Angel was standing in the middle of his bedroom in all his naked puppet glory. Xander stared at the yards and yards of uninterrupted felt, it looked so soft and fluffy, he couldn't help but move closer for a touch.
Angel started when he felt the young man behind him. Turning his head to look over this shoulder, the vampire growled, "You're early. Get out of here so I can get dressed."
Xander either didn't hear him, or simply ignored him as usual as he moved closer. Reaching out, Xander traced the tattoo on Angel's shoulder, the one that was now stitched on with embroidery thread instead of etched with ink.
"That is so cool," Xander whispered as he ran a single fingertip over gryphon, reveling in the feeling of the thread and felt. His other hand reached out to stroke the naked back, enjoying the feel of the soft fabric over tight foam muscles.
"What are you doing?" Angel whispered, his voice rough and tight.
"You feel so good," Xander purred quietly.
"Well, stop it," the vampire complained, not sounding nearly as convincing as he should. The puppet man moved away from the Scooby, trying to reach his clothes, when Xander gasped. "What?"
"You have..." Xander gaped and pointed at Angel puppet genitalia. He never even imagined that he would have - that.
"Yes," Angel growled. "I do have. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Well, Kermit and Grover didn't, but Kermit was a frog and Grover was a monster, so maybe they were different. And Ernie and Bert wore pants…at least I think they did."
Xander had gone off into his own little world, wondering how he could have missed the idea of Angel with a package made of fabric. Angel backed away as the young man moved closer and closer, a wild gleam in his eye. He stopped when he hit the foot of the bed. Xander easily picked him up and laid him on the soft covers before running his hands over the soft trembling thighs. Angel's felt penis began to swell and Xander spared a brain cell or two to wonder how that was possible before his noted the vampire's size.
"Was there some weird proportion distortion that happened in the puppet transference process or are you normally..?"
"No, Xander. I'm really am..."
"Well hung," Xander finished for him as he reached out to stroke the hardening fluffy penis.
Angel groaned at the sensation, his head falling back on the soft covers as he let Xander touch and stroke. Xander reached down with his other hand to cup Angel's soft balls. He's always thought of his own balls as fuzzy, but Angel's truly were in every sense of the word.
The young man was fascinated by the soft fabric and needy little puppet sounds escaping Angel's throat. Sure, it was kinky. Probably kinkier than anything Xander had ever done before. But it was the tiny, brown fabric nipples that was the young man's undoing. Removing the hand fondling the small fuzzy balls, Xander reached up to run a finger over a single fingertip over the soft pebbled fabric.
Angel groaned beneath him and Xander's hands moved faster, bringing the fabric cock to full hardness and rubbing the little nipples nearly raw. It finally all became too much and Xander quickly pulled open his belt and ripped open his fly. His cock was aching and the first tentative thrust against Angel's felt body sent electricity straight up the young man's spine.
He lay down on top of the now panting puppet, thrusting and rutting wildly against the soft body below him. He wasn't too worried about crushing Angel, after all, he was a vampire so he didn't need to breathe, and as a puppet, Xander wasn't sure the semantics were.
Xander thrust harder as Angel warned, "Xander."
The young man looked down just as Angel's face changed, his game face coming to the fore. The tiny fangs, soft ridges and glowing eyes were too much for the young man and he groaned as he came hard. He thrust down once more, watching in awe as Angel came as well, small bits of white string erupting from the fuzzy cock.
Exhausted, Xander collapsed onto the bed, panting hard. Finally summoning enough energy to move, he pulled Angel up the bed before pulling the blankets over the both of them. Snuggling the puppet close like he had once his teddy bear, Xander sighed. He needed a good night's rest. He figured he'd be spending most of the following day on the internet, googling until he couldn't google anymore, because there was no way he was going to ask Wesley how to get come strains out of felt.
The End. *g*