Not so good news

[sgirlkimm]

Since the day I found out about Dennis having cancer, I have been optomistic.  I have told him, as well as believed in my heart, that he was going to beat this and we were all going to be able to put this behind us and go on with our lives one day.  I never had any doubt that we would all be able to chaulk this up to experience and move on.  Today, I guess you could say I got my first wake up call.  I went over to my sister's house to drop off a phone number.  I visited with them for a few minutes then left.  My sister offered to walk to me out and right then I knew something was wrong.  We walked all the way to my car (parked in front of their house in the street).  She told me that she talked to the doctor today.  Dennis has begun to be nausated and tired all the time.  Along with the fact that the he is always cold.  The doctor said that he should not be experiencing these symptoms yet.  In other words, Dennis' body is not reacting "normally" to the chemo and radiation.  They told my sister that this is going to be a long and tough road.  We are only a week in!!

What if he doesn't beat this?  I want to believe with all my heart that he is, but what if he doesn't?  What are we going to do?  What is my sister going to do?  What are the kids going to do?  What is his family going to do?  What is my mom going to do?

I thought things were going great.  He kept telling me that he was feeling good and that he was going to beat this.  It sucks when your hold world is turned upside down in less than 5 minutes.  What sucks even more is that you have to pretend that everything is alright.

Alright, i am going to end here.  Please keep us all in your prayers and thoughts.