Halfway to Paradise 1/2- Hairspray Deleted Scene
Link had never felt like such a jerk in all his life…no, not a jerk, an asshole. He’d really let Tracy down, hurt her and made her cry. Guilt ate away at him like…paint-stripper. The colourful and shiny top-coat had all burned away.
A little too…big for me.
God. Of all the ways he could have said he wasn’t marching he had to say the one that added insult to injury. He hadn’t meant it that way. He wouldn’t hurt her like that, never like that.
She knew, she had to know…right?
Either way he couldn’t stay in the record shop with all the people he’d refused to support and watch Tracy cry.
I should go…go and hide in fake Hollywood sets, hide behind a smirk, a swivel of the hips and girls in pastel coloured dresses, hide from everything real.
Beginning the walk back to the ‘good’ part of town Link bit his bottom lip, not because he thought it might start trembling, and stared at the sidewalk, thinking about everything he’d just walked away from instead of where he was going.
The unexpected jolt of walking straight into somebody else reminded Link that he didn’t have the streets to himself. He couldn’t keep ignoring what was going on around him.
“God damn cracker…thinks he owns the whole damn street.” Link watched the middle-aged black man walk away, cursing his name under his breath, until he turned a corner.
Link was well aware that pretty much everybody thought they knew what he was about within seconds of meeting him and until he’d met Tracy, they’d all been right.
His ‘friends’ didn’t know him and his ‘girlfriend’ definitely didn’t love him.
As he got close to his house - his house, never his home - Link came to the conclusion that the only people who might genuinely like him for who he was, and who he liked in return, were the people he had just walked out on.
What a shitty thing to do to them.
Seaweed had invited him to his neighbourhood, to his mom’s place of business, after spending less than an hour in his company…Maybelle had welcomed her into what amounted to her second home without batting an eyelid at his unexpected arrival…
…and Tracy…
His ego had decided that Tracy was in love with him the moment he saw her reaction to him in detention. He’d thought it was cute; most of his fans were more…manic. She’d been an unexpected breath of fresh air.
Link had wanted to see her dance again at the hop and he did. Her moves had blown Corny away and the kiss she’d thrown at the end of the instrumental…well he hadn’t been forced into catching it.
Tracy was a cutie-pie, a sweetheart, a girl who believed in doing the right thing even when it was difficult, especially when it was difficult.
And he…well he was the jackass who’d implied he thought she was too fat when the truth was…the truth was…he cared about her more than he’d ever cared about any other girl.
When it came to Tracy or Amber the choice had already been made, he hadn’t really acted on it yet, but the choice had been made. When it came to being the guy Tracy deserved or the guy Amber deserved…well that was the part he’d just screwed up.
Would Tracy ever let him make it up to her? Probably…maybe…if her mom let him within a mile of the house.
As Link entered the lifeless dark of his empty house he knew that he wanted to be somebody Tracy could be proud of, somebody she’d happily introduce to her father.
Daddy, this is Link, he’s my guy…but it wouldn’t happen like that. Mr Turnblad would have heard about him from Tracy’s mom, heard about how he made their little girl cry.
He’d have to do something major to change how people saw him. Before, he just wanted people to think he was ‘cool’ but being ‘cool’ wasn’t cool when it meant turning your back on people who mattered to you, walking away from where you belonged and he knew he belonged with Tracy.
Not that there was much chance of being with her now.
Feeling rather full of teenage angst Link didn’t turn on his bedroom light when he went in, he just switched on the radio and lay, fully clothed, on his bed. Creases be damned.
“Next up is last year’s hit for Billy Fury. Here’s ‘Halfway to Paradise’”. Link cursed the DJ’s choice, at that precise moment in time, he identified with the song a little too much.
I want to be your lover
But your friend is all I've stayed
I'm only halfway to paradise
So near, yet so far away
Being Tracy’s friend, while much more…more…than he’d ever anticipated, wasn’t enough for him anymore. Had it ever been enough? Maybe, while he was falling, growing…before he was ready it had been enough. He was ready now. Ready to stand up for what he believed in, for who he cared about.
Bein' close to you is almost heaven
But seein' you can do just so much
It hurts me so to know your heart's a treasure
And that my heart is forbidden to touch
There weren’t really words to describe what it was like to be around Tracy but it was easy for Link to describe what being without her was like. Hell. One of his own making.
Link couldn’t take it anymore. He retrieved the phonebook and found the T section, scanning the names until he found what he was looking for.
Turnblad, W. The address was the one he’d once driven Tracy to when he gave her a lift home. He didn’t hesitate to dial the number and waited impatiently for the ringing to turn into a voice.
“Hello.”
“Is Tracy there?”
“There’s no Tracy at the address.”
“I…sorry, wrong number…sorry.” He heard Seaweeds voice in his head. Calm down cracker boy. Maybe calm was too much to ask...sane was about as much as he could handle.
Link dialled again, making sure it was the right number.
“Turnblad residence.” It was Tracy’s mom. Link’s heart began beating faster, would she even tell her daughter he’d called?
“C-can I talk to Tracy please?”
“It’s late. Who’s calling?”
“Link…uh Link Larkin.” He braced himself for the understandable anger.
“The boy from the party.”
“Yes ma’am.” Edna thought for a couple of long seconds before deciding what to do.
“I’ll be right back.”
Tracy lay in her bed staring at the ceiling wishing that she could change what had happened, that she could have prevented what Mrs Von Tussle almost did to her parents’ marriage, what Link’s careless words had done to their…friendship. She might be able to change the future, with Maybelle’s and Seaweed’s help, but she couldn’t change the past.
She couldn’t un-hear what Link said or un-feel the hurt. The tears couldn’t be uncried…but she’d learnt long ago that they started drying as soon as the sobs subsided. It would be ok. Link would apologise…and if he didn’t, well, she’d survived without him in her life for seventeen years before she got on the show, she would survive without him again.
“Tracy hon, are you asleep?” Wishing she could stop the whirling thoughts long enough to sleep, Tracy looked to the doorway where he ma stood.
“I’m not asleep. What is it?”
“There’s somebody on the phone who wants to talk to you.”
“Now?” It was so late, who’d be calling her at this time of night? Hope rose in her chest and Tracy tried to restrain it. “Who is it ma?”
“Link.” There was no restraining that hope now.
“Link Larkin?”
“How many ‘Link’s do you know?” Her voice softened. “Do you want to talk to him? I could say you were asleep.”
“No, I’ll talk to him.” Satisfied that her daughter and the crooner would make up, Edna went back to bed after throwing one last remark over her shoulder.
“Don’t be talking all night.”
“Yes ma.”
Tracy made herself walk slowly to the living room. What was he going to say? What was she going to say?
“Link?” He sighed in relief, she was talking to him at least.
“Trace I’m so sorry.” It was Tracy's turn to let out the breath she’d been holding.
“It’s ok Link. I understand.”
“No darlin', you don’t. I was a jerk. I need to talk to you.”
“You’re talking to me now.”
“I mean properly. I need to see you Tracy.” Neither could believe quite how well Link’s need travelled along the phone lines.
“Link it’s really late.”
“Please Tracy.” Oh god.
“I can’t. things are…Mrs Von Tussle did something to my parents to get me off the show…” Knowing what a cold-hearted cow the station manager was, Link became immediately concerned.
“Are they ok?”
“They’re fine.”
“Did it work…the thing she did?”
“Nearly…they had a huge fight. Mrs Von Tussle made it seem like my dad and her…” What a bitch! Normally when somebody acted that way he'd have said 'I don't believe it', but with Velma Von Tussle, if it was mean it was possible.
“Everything’s ok now right?”
“It’s still weird.”
“I have to see you.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Before school.” It wasn’t a question.
“I’ll be waiting outside my house at seven-fifteen.”
“Ok…Trace?”
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t mean what I said about you being too…I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“You’re not…y’know…” God. Why was he stumbling when he was usually so smooth? Pull it together Larkin. “I think…you look great. All the time. Really great.”
“Link…” She was about to ask him what the sudden awkward compliments were about but she yawned into the phone.
“You should get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Bye Trace.”
He left her sat on the sofa with the dial tone and more questions than answers.
Part Two