Fic: A Road Through Mountains (No Precious Time Series, 12/28)
Title: A Road Through Mountains (No Precious Time Series, 12/28)
Author: The Time Being/SGAtlantisLight
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Genre: Smutty angst, H/C
Rating: NC-17 overall, though some chapters are lower
Author's Notes: Part of the No Precious Time Series. Beta and encouragement from a lot of people, but especially lapislaz, mice1900, and inkscribe.
Warnings can be found here for those who can't read without them. These contain plot spoilers so do not read unless you can't live without knowing.
Disclaimer: I own them all! But, alas, not in this universe.
Previous chapter
"What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains." - Tennessee Williams
Rodney awoke as Carson shifted restlessly and moaned in pain. He fought the urge to groan himself. It had only been four days and he was already exhausted and sore, wrung out, battered, and terribly, terribly afraid. He couldn't handle this, but he had to, for Carson.
He reached out and pulled Carson close, silently offering support. For once in his life, he was out of words.
Carson shifted, slipping arms around Rodney, burying his face against Rodney's throat. "I'm so tired."
Rodney's heart clenched at the bleakness of the words. If he was exhausted, he couldn't imagine what Carson was feeling, living with pain every second of the day. "I've got you," he whispered, wishing he could say more, wishing he could lie and say he was sure they'd figure everything out and all would be well.
"Rodney..." Carson murmured, voice full of agony-- a plea, an apology.
"Whatever you need." Anything, he thought, anything but coming home to find you cold and still from the hopelessness.
Carson sighed, some of the tension leaving his body. He'd apologised over and over for using Rodney, for seeking sex for himself rather than for them, for the intimacy of it, until Rodney had yelled at him to shut up and just use him, for God's sake. Still, Rodney's permission was the only thing that seemed to comfort him in these moments. "Turn over."
Rodney did so, fighting back another groan at the thought. He was sore, goddammit. But he could take it. It wouldn't take long with Carson's heightened sensitivity and then they could both fall back to sleep. Carson reached for the lube, prominently kept on the bedside table now, and Rodney shuddered.
There was the soft click of the cap being opened and then the wet sounds of Carson slicking himself up. They'd both gotten used to going without stretching first and they rarely needed anything but a cursory swipe of lube around their openings, with all the semen inside them. He forced himself to relax as Carson settled against him, slick hands pulling his thighs apart.
"Hm?" he mumbled as Carson's cock slid between his thighs and then Carson pressed them together, trapping the erection between them.
"I know you’ve got to be sore, love," Carson said, kissing his shoulder.
"A little," he admitted.
Carson wrapped his arms around Rodney's body and began slowly pumping between Rodney's legs. "I love the feel of you in my arms, so solid and warm."
"Yeah," Rodney sighed. It was an odd sensation, Carson's cock sliding up against him, the head brushing his balls. It had been years since Rodney had done this, back in college before he'd worked himself up to actual anal sex, and it still felt slightly juvenile and somewhat illicit. He was surprised to find himself growing hard.
Carson's hands slowly explored his chest, raking through his chest hair and circling nipples. "Ah, love," he murmured, his rhythm slowly picking up speed.
"God!" Rodney gasped. "Why haven't we done this before?"
Carson shuddered. "Hold tight for me, love..." Rodney clamped his legs together harder, Carson gasping in his ear. "Oh! Aye, like that... Oh, God!"
"Yeah. God, yeah. I want to feel you come."
Carson groaned and Rodney felt his lover's cock throb between his legs. A hot slickness pulsed against his balls, running down his thighs. God, he was so unbelievably close!
He might have said something. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that Carson pulled away, wrestled him onto his back and swallowed him down with unbelievable speed. Rodney didn't have time to think about it before he was coming in Carson's mouth, hands fisted in the sheets as Carson drank his semen and then withdrew, eyes sparkling with mischief even in the dark, and began licking his balls clean. Rodney had lost all ability to even protest, reduced to a quivering mass under his lover's assault.
And then Carson was beside him, drawing him close, mouth over his, sharing their combined taste. Rodney smiled, already drifting in a haze toward sleep. "Love you, Carson."
"Thank you," Carson said, pressing kisses to his neck.
Rodney was asleep before the tears dropped onto his skin, his only knowledge of them a strange dream of being splashed by the waves of a hot, salt sea.
***
Carson rubbed his forehead, trying the ease the pain that was always there behind his eyes. He glanced at his watch. It would be another hour before Rodney got there. He was far from desperate yet, but his concentration was waning. It was so frustrating. He kept getting the feeling the answer was right there, but he was missing it.
He stood up and paced, trying to ignore the growing fire that seemed to shoot through his bones. He needed a fresh perspective.
He walked out of his lab and wandered into the infirmary. Carole was busy wrapping a scientist's ankle, running down the standard spiel on care of a sprain. Carson wondered what the woman had been doing to sprain it.
He found himself drifting toward Colonel Lorne's private room. He'd heard the statistics. He needed to find a cure and find it now if the Colonel was going to live. He plastered a smile on his face in case the man was awake and strode in, coming face to face with John.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to recover from his startlement. Damn the man for walking so quietly.
"I was checking up on him." John's voice was defensive and Carson realised his question had sounded accusatory.
"I'm sorry. Ye just startled me."
John nodded, stepping aside to allow Carson in. His eyes were wary, like a dog that had been kicked too often.
Carson glanced at the bed and saw the Colonel was asleep. Deciding quickly, he reached out and took John's shoulder as the former CO tried to walk past him. "John, can we go somewhere to talk? I think we have a few axes to bury."
"I swear it won't happen again," John mumbled, not meeting his eyes.
"All right. I believe that." And he did. Somewhere in the midst of his suffering, he'd forgiven John, but that alone wouldn't fix things.
"Good." John tried to pull away from him.
"John, wait. I still want to talk." All right, so appealing to reconciliation might not be the best course of action. "Maybe just to compare notes?"
John hesitated, finally looking up into Carson's face and Carson suddenly saw how very broken the man was. He felt the anger well up inside him at the realisation.
"Please? I need your help."
John nodded. "Okay."
They ended up back in Carson's lab. Carson puttered around, fixing them both tea, suddenly acutely aware of the smell of the other man, the memory of John's mouth against his own flashing unbidden to his mind. He noted that John seemed just as unnerved. Finally the tea was done and he settled into his chair, flashing his patented reassuring-doctor smile. "How are things with you?"
John shrugged. "Fine."
Right. So much for that. "What about the others? How are they holding out?"
John took a moment to sip from his tea, staring into his cup. "The ones that have found someone outside the group are doing pretty well. The others... not so much."
"I don't doubt that it makes a difference, but I'm unclear as to why." In fact, Carson had felt it himself since he'd been infected-- certain people drew him more than others and the other virus carriers least of all.
"I think it's the scent," John said. "Those with the virus smell different." He looked up to meet Carson's eyes. "Your scent changed, you know."
Carson hadn't known. His sense of smell was so much keener now that it was impossible for him to compare before and after. "But why would it make so much difference?"
John shrugged again. "At first I thought it was, um, conditioning." John had never really talked about what had been done to him, but Carson had heard stories from the others from the brothel. "But if it affects you..."
"Then it's the virus itself," Carson finished the thought.
"That seems the logical conclusion," John answered, beginning to relax.
Carson considered, trying to sort out his own urges of the past few days. "But there's more than just viral and non-viral," he said.
John nodded. "Yeah. Preferences within the groups. I'm sure part of it's emotional-- you and Rodney are together, so he should turn you on more than a random stranger."
"Oh, definitely. But it's more than that. There was this person I expect was fresh from the Daedalus..." He felt himself blushing, but perhaps if he shared first, John would open up more. "I didn't know her from Adam or, well, Eve, but I just... wanted her."
"Oh, yeah," John said, giving a wry smile. "It was this little red-headed scientist for me-- same thing."
Carson started. "Red-head? From Ireland?"
John lowered his mug, staring at Carson. "Yeah. That's her. That's too weird."
"Or not," Carson said, biting his lip. He fished around and then pulled out a piece of paper and pencil. "Help me out with an experiment. Write down all the names of people you've had really strong urges toward. I'll do the same."
John lifted an eyebrow. "This isn't an excuse to threaten me again?"
Carson chuckled. "I promise no dire threats. And out of curiosity, do the others ever talk about their attractions? And are they similar?"
"Yeah, there's a lot of comparing notes going on. You can't help but overhear. And... No, actually, for the most part they're rather different. I think the closest in taste to me is probably Veza." He thought for a moment and then began writing.
Carson started making his own list, glancing up at John every once in a while. "Out of curiosity, how would you characterise your reactions to Veza?"
John looked up, blinking. "I don't know. Stronger than most of the other virus carriers, I suppose."
"Interesting." Carson went back to his list.
It took John longer than it took Carson. Of course, he'd had longer to deal with the virus, and a less satisfying outlet for his libido, so Carson wasn't surprised. When he was done, John hesitated a moment, then handed Carson his list, scooting closer to see.
Carson gave John a wry grin and began circling names in common on both lists, then began looking at the names individual to their lists.
"Doctor Kusanagi?" John asked.
"She was in Rodney's lab the other day," Carson answered. "Have you encountered her since your return?"
John shook his head.
Carson continued double-checking the lists. The names they didn't share in common belonged to people they hadn't both encountered. Carson hit his comm button. "Anneliese, love, do we still have a sample of Veza Nolann's blood? We do? Could you test it for the ATA gene, please? Thank you."
Realisation dawned on John's face. "The ATA gene?"
Carson nodded. "All of them, with the possible exception of Veza."
"I didn't know Stephanos had the gene."
"He had the gene therapy while you were gone."
"So, the virus makes us detect and want to, what, breed with ATA gene carriers?" John asked.
"I don't think so. You told me once that when you encountered the Asurans, you felt they weren't 'Ancienty.'"
John shrugged. "It was the best word I could come up with."
"No, I'm not teasing you about it. When you met Chaya, you felt an immediate attraction. Despite the fact I'd nearly blown your helicopter to bits, you immediately forgave me and struck up a conversation. As soon as Rodney had the gene therapy, you two were suddenly buddies in crime with testing out the shield device. You've always had a sense of something special about others with the gene. It's just stronger now."
John stared at him. "Okay. So what's the virus doing?"
"Well, I've been trying to put into words how I feel around these people and the closest I can come is... home or family or... maybe security. Is that anything close to what you're sensing?"
John thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah. Close enough."
"I think it's an unintended side-effect. There's so much pain, we're seeking the comfort of our own kind. For you, for me, that's the ATA gene carriers."
John slowly nodded. "Yeah." He stared into his mug for a while, mulling something, then flashed a hopeful look at Carson. "So... we're okay, right?"
Carson reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Aye, John. We're okay."
The tension seemed to flow from the other man, then they both glanced up as the door opened, Rodney appearing in the doorway.
"Hi," Rodney said, looking a little bewildered at John being there.
"Hello, love," Carson said, smiling.
John stood, tense once again. "I'll, uh, just be going."
Carson nodded. "Thank you for helping me sort some things out, John."
"No problem," John answered, carefully skirting around Rodney and heading out the door.
"So what was that all about?" Rodney asked.
"Just trying to get a better handle on this virus," Carson answered as he picked up two sheets of paper and dumped them in the trash, the name 'Rodney' at the top of both pages.
Next chapter
Author: The Time Being/SGAtlantisLight
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Genre: Smutty angst, H/C
Rating: NC-17 overall, though some chapters are lower
Author's Notes: Part of the No Precious Time Series. Beta and encouragement from a lot of people, but especially lapislaz, mice1900, and inkscribe.
Warnings can be found here for those who can't read without them. These contain plot spoilers so do not read unless you can't live without knowing.
Disclaimer: I own them all! But, alas, not in this universe.
Previous chapter
"What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains." - Tennessee Williams
Rodney awoke as Carson shifted restlessly and moaned in pain. He fought the urge to groan himself. It had only been four days and he was already exhausted and sore, wrung out, battered, and terribly, terribly afraid. He couldn't handle this, but he had to, for Carson.
He reached out and pulled Carson close, silently offering support. For once in his life, he was out of words.
Carson shifted, slipping arms around Rodney, burying his face against Rodney's throat. "I'm so tired."
Rodney's heart clenched at the bleakness of the words. If he was exhausted, he couldn't imagine what Carson was feeling, living with pain every second of the day. "I've got you," he whispered, wishing he could say more, wishing he could lie and say he was sure they'd figure everything out and all would be well.
"Rodney..." Carson murmured, voice full of agony-- a plea, an apology.
"Whatever you need." Anything, he thought, anything but coming home to find you cold and still from the hopelessness.
Carson sighed, some of the tension leaving his body. He'd apologised over and over for using Rodney, for seeking sex for himself rather than for them, for the intimacy of it, until Rodney had yelled at him to shut up and just use him, for God's sake. Still, Rodney's permission was the only thing that seemed to comfort him in these moments. "Turn over."
Rodney did so, fighting back another groan at the thought. He was sore, goddammit. But he could take it. It wouldn't take long with Carson's heightened sensitivity and then they could both fall back to sleep. Carson reached for the lube, prominently kept on the bedside table now, and Rodney shuddered.
There was the soft click of the cap being opened and then the wet sounds of Carson slicking himself up. They'd both gotten used to going without stretching first and they rarely needed anything but a cursory swipe of lube around their openings, with all the semen inside them. He forced himself to relax as Carson settled against him, slick hands pulling his thighs apart.
"Hm?" he mumbled as Carson's cock slid between his thighs and then Carson pressed them together, trapping the erection between them.
"I know you’ve got to be sore, love," Carson said, kissing his shoulder.
"A little," he admitted.
Carson wrapped his arms around Rodney's body and began slowly pumping between Rodney's legs. "I love the feel of you in my arms, so solid and warm."
"Yeah," Rodney sighed. It was an odd sensation, Carson's cock sliding up against him, the head brushing his balls. It had been years since Rodney had done this, back in college before he'd worked himself up to actual anal sex, and it still felt slightly juvenile and somewhat illicit. He was surprised to find himself growing hard.
Carson's hands slowly explored his chest, raking through his chest hair and circling nipples. "Ah, love," he murmured, his rhythm slowly picking up speed.
"God!" Rodney gasped. "Why haven't we done this before?"
Carson shuddered. "Hold tight for me, love..." Rodney clamped his legs together harder, Carson gasping in his ear. "Oh! Aye, like that... Oh, God!"
"Yeah. God, yeah. I want to feel you come."
Carson groaned and Rodney felt his lover's cock throb between his legs. A hot slickness pulsed against his balls, running down his thighs. God, he was so unbelievably close!
He might have said something. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that Carson pulled away, wrestled him onto his back and swallowed him down with unbelievable speed. Rodney didn't have time to think about it before he was coming in Carson's mouth, hands fisted in the sheets as Carson drank his semen and then withdrew, eyes sparkling with mischief even in the dark, and began licking his balls clean. Rodney had lost all ability to even protest, reduced to a quivering mass under his lover's assault.
And then Carson was beside him, drawing him close, mouth over his, sharing their combined taste. Rodney smiled, already drifting in a haze toward sleep. "Love you, Carson."
"Thank you," Carson said, pressing kisses to his neck.
Rodney was asleep before the tears dropped onto his skin, his only knowledge of them a strange dream of being splashed by the waves of a hot, salt sea.
***
Carson rubbed his forehead, trying the ease the pain that was always there behind his eyes. He glanced at his watch. It would be another hour before Rodney got there. He was far from desperate yet, but his concentration was waning. It was so frustrating. He kept getting the feeling the answer was right there, but he was missing it.
He stood up and paced, trying to ignore the growing fire that seemed to shoot through his bones. He needed a fresh perspective.
He walked out of his lab and wandered into the infirmary. Carole was busy wrapping a scientist's ankle, running down the standard spiel on care of a sprain. Carson wondered what the woman had been doing to sprain it.
He found himself drifting toward Colonel Lorne's private room. He'd heard the statistics. He needed to find a cure and find it now if the Colonel was going to live. He plastered a smile on his face in case the man was awake and strode in, coming face to face with John.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to recover from his startlement. Damn the man for walking so quietly.
"I was checking up on him." John's voice was defensive and Carson realised his question had sounded accusatory.
"I'm sorry. Ye just startled me."
John nodded, stepping aside to allow Carson in. His eyes were wary, like a dog that had been kicked too often.
Carson glanced at the bed and saw the Colonel was asleep. Deciding quickly, he reached out and took John's shoulder as the former CO tried to walk past him. "John, can we go somewhere to talk? I think we have a few axes to bury."
"I swear it won't happen again," John mumbled, not meeting his eyes.
"All right. I believe that." And he did. Somewhere in the midst of his suffering, he'd forgiven John, but that alone wouldn't fix things.
"Good." John tried to pull away from him.
"John, wait. I still want to talk." All right, so appealing to reconciliation might not be the best course of action. "Maybe just to compare notes?"
John hesitated, finally looking up into Carson's face and Carson suddenly saw how very broken the man was. He felt the anger well up inside him at the realisation.
"Please? I need your help."
John nodded. "Okay."
They ended up back in Carson's lab. Carson puttered around, fixing them both tea, suddenly acutely aware of the smell of the other man, the memory of John's mouth against his own flashing unbidden to his mind. He noted that John seemed just as unnerved. Finally the tea was done and he settled into his chair, flashing his patented reassuring-doctor smile. "How are things with you?"
John shrugged. "Fine."
Right. So much for that. "What about the others? How are they holding out?"
John took a moment to sip from his tea, staring into his cup. "The ones that have found someone outside the group are doing pretty well. The others... not so much."
"I don't doubt that it makes a difference, but I'm unclear as to why." In fact, Carson had felt it himself since he'd been infected-- certain people drew him more than others and the other virus carriers least of all.
"I think it's the scent," John said. "Those with the virus smell different." He looked up to meet Carson's eyes. "Your scent changed, you know."
Carson hadn't known. His sense of smell was so much keener now that it was impossible for him to compare before and after. "But why would it make so much difference?"
John shrugged again. "At first I thought it was, um, conditioning." John had never really talked about what had been done to him, but Carson had heard stories from the others from the brothel. "But if it affects you..."
"Then it's the virus itself," Carson finished the thought.
"That seems the logical conclusion," John answered, beginning to relax.
Carson considered, trying to sort out his own urges of the past few days. "But there's more than just viral and non-viral," he said.
John nodded. "Yeah. Preferences within the groups. I'm sure part of it's emotional-- you and Rodney are together, so he should turn you on more than a random stranger."
"Oh, definitely. But it's more than that. There was this person I expect was fresh from the Daedalus..." He felt himself blushing, but perhaps if he shared first, John would open up more. "I didn't know her from Adam or, well, Eve, but I just... wanted her."
"Oh, yeah," John said, giving a wry smile. "It was this little red-headed scientist for me-- same thing."
Carson started. "Red-head? From Ireland?"
John lowered his mug, staring at Carson. "Yeah. That's her. That's too weird."
"Or not," Carson said, biting his lip. He fished around and then pulled out a piece of paper and pencil. "Help me out with an experiment. Write down all the names of people you've had really strong urges toward. I'll do the same."
John lifted an eyebrow. "This isn't an excuse to threaten me again?"
Carson chuckled. "I promise no dire threats. And out of curiosity, do the others ever talk about their attractions? And are they similar?"
"Yeah, there's a lot of comparing notes going on. You can't help but overhear. And... No, actually, for the most part they're rather different. I think the closest in taste to me is probably Veza." He thought for a moment and then began writing.
Carson started making his own list, glancing up at John every once in a while. "Out of curiosity, how would you characterise your reactions to Veza?"
John looked up, blinking. "I don't know. Stronger than most of the other virus carriers, I suppose."
"Interesting." Carson went back to his list.
It took John longer than it took Carson. Of course, he'd had longer to deal with the virus, and a less satisfying outlet for his libido, so Carson wasn't surprised. When he was done, John hesitated a moment, then handed Carson his list, scooting closer to see.
Carson gave John a wry grin and began circling names in common on both lists, then began looking at the names individual to their lists.
"Doctor Kusanagi?" John asked.
"She was in Rodney's lab the other day," Carson answered. "Have you encountered her since your return?"
John shook his head.
Carson continued double-checking the lists. The names they didn't share in common belonged to people they hadn't both encountered. Carson hit his comm button. "Anneliese, love, do we still have a sample of Veza Nolann's blood? We do? Could you test it for the ATA gene, please? Thank you."
Realisation dawned on John's face. "The ATA gene?"
Carson nodded. "All of them, with the possible exception of Veza."
"I didn't know Stephanos had the gene."
"He had the gene therapy while you were gone."
"So, the virus makes us detect and want to, what, breed with ATA gene carriers?" John asked.
"I don't think so. You told me once that when you encountered the Asurans, you felt they weren't 'Ancienty.'"
John shrugged. "It was the best word I could come up with."
"No, I'm not teasing you about it. When you met Chaya, you felt an immediate attraction. Despite the fact I'd nearly blown your helicopter to bits, you immediately forgave me and struck up a conversation. As soon as Rodney had the gene therapy, you two were suddenly buddies in crime with testing out the shield device. You've always had a sense of something special about others with the gene. It's just stronger now."
John stared at him. "Okay. So what's the virus doing?"
"Well, I've been trying to put into words how I feel around these people and the closest I can come is... home or family or... maybe security. Is that anything close to what you're sensing?"
John thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah. Close enough."
"I think it's an unintended side-effect. There's so much pain, we're seeking the comfort of our own kind. For you, for me, that's the ATA gene carriers."
John slowly nodded. "Yeah." He stared into his mug for a while, mulling something, then flashed a hopeful look at Carson. "So... we're okay, right?"
Carson reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Aye, John. We're okay."
The tension seemed to flow from the other man, then they both glanced up as the door opened, Rodney appearing in the doorway.
"Hi," Rodney said, looking a little bewildered at John being there.
"Hello, love," Carson said, smiling.
John stood, tense once again. "I'll, uh, just be going."
Carson nodded. "Thank you for helping me sort some things out, John."
"No problem," John answered, carefully skirting around Rodney and heading out the door.
"So what was that all about?" Rodney asked.
"Just trying to get a better handle on this virus," Carson answered as he picked up two sheets of paper and dumped them in the trash, the name 'Rodney' at the top of both pages.
Next chapter