DUTY BY margarks [LFWS #1 ROUND 10]
Title: Duty
Author: margarks
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Stargate belongs to Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc., no infringements of any rights is intended.
Spoilers: S3 - Sunday
Prompt for the Round: Write a fic emphasizing the burden of a leader. You can use from one to all characters of the list.
DUTY by margarks
Elizabeth's eyes ached with exhaustion and pain and grief. She had so many emotions roiling around inside her that she felt nauseous with it.
Every day she woke up with the knowledge that any one of her decisions might cost her people their lives. Some days she resented it, some days she thrived on it. Today she'd resented the hell out of it. She'd stared up at Branton's quick smile and his warm eyes, and had hated the fact that she was leader here.
For once, she wanted to drop the heavy mantle she wore all day and take just a little something for herself.
Guilt made a tight, painful knot in her chest.
There hadn't been anything she could have done. No decision she could have made that might have saved Carson's life. And still she felt guilty. She'd been on a date when the first explosion had happened, when Doctor Hewston had... happened.
Teyla had nearly been killed, several others were injured. And she'd been on a balcony, kissing Branton and wishing she could say yes to the promise she saw in his eyes.
She berated herself for wishing, wanting, and for having to be reminded that Carson wasn't the only person to die that day. The thought grated, making her feel even less deserving of her position. All her people mattered, every single one of them, not just the ones that had become friends. Somewhere beneath all her grief for Carson, she knew that.
Her temples throbbed and her fingers trembled. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and pretend the whole day had never happened. Delude herself into believing that Carson would be in the mess the next morning for breakfast and that there weren't whole sections of the city that needed clearing and shoring up.
But as she stared at the blinking cursor on her computer, she knew she couldn't pretend any of it. It was all too real. She had plans to make, recovery teams to choose. They had to start going through the affected sections, seeing if there was anything recoverable, and what kind of repairs were needed.
She didn't have time to sit and wish for things that were impossible. No matter how much she wanted to.
Because after all the planning and administrative work was complete, she still had one more thing to do. The hardest thing. She had to say goodbye.
She picked up her pen, closing her eyes briefly as she remembered the devil in Carson's eyes as he'd teased her about her date less than twenty-four hours ago. Her smile was just a little wobbly as she began to write, “Death comes to us all...”
Don’t forget to leave ONLY FEEDBACK in the comments and NOT VOTES. All comments will be screened until the voting closes.
Author: margarks
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Stargate belongs to Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc., no infringements of any rights is intended.
Spoilers: S3 - Sunday
Prompt for the Round: Write a fic emphasizing the burden of a leader. You can use from one to all characters of the list.
DUTY by margarks
Elizabeth's eyes ached with exhaustion and pain and grief. She had so many emotions roiling around inside her that she felt nauseous with it.
Every day she woke up with the knowledge that any one of her decisions might cost her people their lives. Some days she resented it, some days she thrived on it. Today she'd resented the hell out of it. She'd stared up at Branton's quick smile and his warm eyes, and had hated the fact that she was leader here.
For once, she wanted to drop the heavy mantle she wore all day and take just a little something for herself.
Guilt made a tight, painful knot in her chest.
There hadn't been anything she could have done. No decision she could have made that might have saved Carson's life. And still she felt guilty. She'd been on a date when the first explosion had happened, when Doctor Hewston had... happened.
Teyla had nearly been killed, several others were injured. And she'd been on a balcony, kissing Branton and wishing she could say yes to the promise she saw in his eyes.
She berated herself for wishing, wanting, and for having to be reminded that Carson wasn't the only person to die that day. The thought grated, making her feel even less deserving of her position. All her people mattered, every single one of them, not just the ones that had become friends. Somewhere beneath all her grief for Carson, she knew that.
Her temples throbbed and her fingers trembled. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and pretend the whole day had never happened. Delude herself into believing that Carson would be in the mess the next morning for breakfast and that there weren't whole sections of the city that needed clearing and shoring up.
But as she stared at the blinking cursor on her computer, she knew she couldn't pretend any of it. It was all too real. She had plans to make, recovery teams to choose. They had to start going through the affected sections, seeing if there was anything recoverable, and what kind of repairs were needed.
She didn't have time to sit and wish for things that were impossible. No matter how much she wanted to.
Because after all the planning and administrative work was complete, she still had one more thing to do. The hardest thing. She had to say goodbye.
She picked up her pen, closing her eyes briefly as she remembered the devil in Carson's eyes as he'd teased her about her date less than twenty-four hours ago. Her smile was just a little wobbly as she began to write, “Death comes to us all...”
Don’t forget to leave ONLY FEEDBACK in the comments and NOT VOTES. All comments will be screened until the voting closes.