The Truth Behind Arizona's Past (3/?)
Title: The Truth Behind Arizona's Past
Author: sgafirenity
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary:This is following the moment at the end of 6.18. It’s going to resolve the baby issues these two are having by bringing up some of Arizona’s past. There is something in Arizona's past that is the reason she doesn't want kids. What could it be?
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and thecharacters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of theoriginal material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in afictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual
Author's Note: So I was having some issues with this chapter. That's why it took a little longer to get up on here. I'm sorry for that but I think I've got it the way I want it now. It's a little shorter than the rest of my chapters so far but I wanted to end it where I ended it.
Anyways as for whom you all thought was eating cereal. You are about to find out very soon. First though, I would like to say I was a little shocked at who you all thought it was. It would have made sense to me if you all thought Cristina but none of you thought that. The main one on most of your minds was Erica Hahn, which really shocked me. I never expected that.
However between Fanfiction.net and callie_arizona , this member hoped it and they were right about who is eating the cereal: luvlexi714. Way to go, you got it right. :D
CHAPTER 3 - I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU
"No, you can..." she trails off still a little confused. Why is she here? I thought she left.
"I'm sorry that was rude of me to say." She drops her spoon into her cereal. "I guess I'm still boiling over the fight we had in my dream. The whole reason why I am out here eating cereal in the first place, I'm trying to calm down so that I don't flip out on you. I guess that failed miserably." An apologetic smile graces her lips.
Callie looks at the blonde sitting in front of her, "It's alright Arizona. I'm still a little confused why you're here."
Arizona stares at Callie confused, "Um...I'm here all the time, why is it so shocking that I would be sitting here eating cereal."
Realizing how she asked that question she decides to drop the whole situation. "You're not the only one who had a fight in a dream," She says grabbing a bowl from the cupboard before going to sit next to Arizona to pour a bowl of cereal.
Arizona watches the Lucky Charms trickle into Callie's bowl noticing something is a little off with her. Callie is focused on the cereal clearly trying to mask her feelings. She looks up into those brown eyes she has come to love to look into everyday and notices something is wrong. Something she doesn't usually see in her eyes. It's a look of hurt, and pain.
A couple hours earlier, she saw a lot of this look when they were fighting about their baby issues but she's never seen this look after she wakes up. Which can only mean one thing, "It wasn't just a fight was it? It was a nightmare. I can tell from the look in your eye Calliope."
Phew, that dream really was a dream. She just used my full name. Relief covers her features. She nods at Arizona's questions, "Ya, it was."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She places a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She places the cereal box back down on the counter, "It doesn't matter. You and me, we're in this weird place and I don't want to make it worse by bringing up my issues as well. We have enough issues as it is. So just forget about it." Her gaze averts from Arizona's as she pours some milk into her bowl.
Forget about it? "I can't do that." Callie freezes at this, holding her spoon midway from her bowl to her mouth. "We might be having our issues but that doesn't mean we quit talking about the things that matter. Now come on, tell me what happened?"
Callie drops her spoon back in her bowl, before looking back over at Arizona "B-Basically you left after we had another huge argument about practically the same things we argued about earlier." She quickly spouts wanting to get it over with as she averts her gaze again knowing what is probably to come.
"I left?" She asks quirking her eyebrows up. "I thought I made it clear that I would never do that..."
She looks back, "I know that. I know you would never do that to me but...." She trails off not wanting to say what she should say.
"But?" She nudges on wanting to know what is hurting her girlfriend so much that she won't even look at her.
"But that doesn't mean there isn't a part of me that fears it. You've told me countless times that you aren't going anywhere and of course I believe you but after what happened earlier, I think my mind was thinking something entirely different. That you would leave and it showed me that in a terrible dream. Did I believe it....? Yes because when I woke up....." She finally directs her gaze to Arizona in which Arizona can see some tears beginning to form, "You weren't there. So I believed what I saw."
"Oh Calliope, come here," Getting up from her seat, she pulls Callie in for a tight hug to let her know she's real. That even though in her dream she left, she was still here. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." Gently she places a kiss on top of her head. She pulls back and locks eyes with Callie, "No matter what is going on with you and me, know that I will always be there for you."
Callie smiles, "You know it goes both ways Arizona."
Arizona sits back down in her chair, "I don't know what you mean." Picking up her spoon, it's her turn to avert her gaze away as she plays with the marshmallows in her bowl.
She tilts her head to the side, "I know you know what I'm talking about. You're in here for similar reasons are you not?"
Slightly she shakes her head no, "I don't know what you're talking about." Why is she doing this to me? She knows I clearly don't want to talk about it and yet she won't drop it.
Now to any normal person, they would have taken this as an 'I don't want to talk about it' type thing but not Callie. Like Arizona she can tell when something is bothering her girlfriend. Right now something is deeply bothering her. Just in the way she seems distant even though they are sitting right next to each other. Or the fact that she won't look her in the eyes.
This is not normal Arizona behaviour. Not even after 'a nightmare' behaviour, this is an all new kind of emotion that Callie has never seen on Arizona. It's a mixture of emotions.
Callie has seen her sad, like when she lost Wallace, angry, like when they fought about her not being their during the Wallace situation, happy, like when she is with any of her patients. She has seen so many emotions from one Arizona Robbins but this, this emotion is different.
What's odd about this emotion is that Callie has only ever seen it on the families of people whom have lost somebody dear to them. Sometimes she would go to the grocery store and see these families and she would see this sad, depressed basically emotionless person and that's what she sees on Arizona. It doesn't make any sense though. Yes, Callie knows Arizona lost her brother 2 years ago but she has somewhat worked past it and still is this happy little PED's surgeon rolling around on her heely's. Yet this emotion is evident on Arizona's features right now.
Why is that?
"Arizona, you know you can talk to me about anything. So come on tell me the truth. What happened in your dream?" Sincerely she asks wanting to know why Arizona is feeling these emotions.
A tear that Arizona didn't even realize she was holding back falls down her right cheek.
Callie instinctively brushes it away with her thumb. Now she is more worried about what she is about to here because it's not like Arizona to just fall apart out of nowhere. True, she did when Callie surprised her with a surprise party for her birthday but that was different. In that moment, she was already in a sad place so when she felt the presence of all those people she broke down. Whereas in this moment, right now, she was just comforting Callie and so it doesn't make sense for her to break down so fast.
"We were fighting about my past," her gaze still staring at her cereal bowl. "The fact that I haven't told you about some things that you should really know." Her spoon falls into the bowl. "I should have told you but I....."
Callie sits there patiently waiting for Arizona to continue not wanting to force her into telling her what she saw in her dream.
"It's just.... There are things about my past that I try not to remember because of the pain that went with them. That I couldn't stop from happening. I'm a doctor and I couldn't...." She trails off remembering the look in the young boy's eyes as his life slowly slipped away from her.
"You couldn't what?" She places a comforting hand on Arizona's back, rubbing small circles to hopefully calm her some.
Another tear falls, "I couldn't save him. I wasn't allowed to and because of it, I lost him."
"Arizona, we lose patients all the time and I know how losing your patients gets to you but why would I be angry at something like...."
"NO!" Her gaze looks back at Callie's full force. "You were angry because I didn't tell you about him! He's the soul reason I don't want kids. I don't want to have what happened happen again. I can't." Her voice fills with more emotion, "I.... Don't want to lose you too."
Callie shakes her head, "You won't ever lose me."
Arizona shakes her head too, "That's what you said in my dream."
"Tell me what happened. Who is this 'he' you keep referring too?" She asks curiously because this 'he' is the whole reason she is in this state. To be honest, she can't stand seeing her like this.
"He...... He was my..... my...."
Buzz, her pager goes off on the counter. Quickly she wipes her eyes so she can see what the page says when Callie's goes off in front of them as well. Callie reaches for it, it reads: Trauma in the ER.
A minute or so goes by and there is no Cristina bursting out of her bedroom, "Hmm....must not be multiple trauma's since Cristina hasn't been paged." She looks over at Yang's room and just sees darkness. "Yup, she should have been out here by now." Looking back at Arizona, "Maybe you and I have a joint case?" She says optimistically, trying to lighten her mood.
She succeeds slightly when a small smile appears on Arizona's features.
"We'll talk about this," she motions between them, "...later. Now we better get moving."
With that they head back into Callie's bedroom to change into their normal clothes before literally running across the street to the hospital.
I know it's another cliff hanger. Who do you think Arizona is referring too? Leave me a comment.