"The Price That Life Exacts" by cathalin

[sgabbadmin]

Title
The Price That Life Exacts

Author
cathalin

Prompt
Big Bang 2008.   John is more Ancient than anyone realizes. / After season 4.

Summary
When John disappears without a trace during a routine mission, people in a beleaguered Atlantis eventually have to try to move on. Rodney never completely gives up hope of finding John, and though he soldiers

Comments

[sheafrotherdon]

I read this story a couple of weeks ago (because I am a sneak!) and have been sitting on my hands ever since, waiting to tell you how much I loved it! It's such a well-sustained story, with so many beautifully crafted scenes, such wonderfully plotted dialogue. I cried when Rodney watched the tape, when he saw John alive and beautiful, giving him such trust, and god, the longing Rodney felt just rose up off the page (the screen?) and swamped me. I loved the baby, loved that music was this tool of communication between all three of them - what a lovely thought, that amid all that anguish, John could hear Rodney playing for / with / to him.

And thank god for the happy ending. And what a heartfelt, beautiful, happy ending it is ♥

[cathalin]

Oh, what a wonderful thing to hear! Your kind words about this fic mean so very much. The story got quite long -- longer than I thought it would be -- so hearing that it feels well sustained means a lot.

I'm sorry that you cried :( , but gratified that the emotion of that moment worked, that Rodney's longing came through in a way that moved you. Oh, and I'm pleased that the music worked as a tool of communication: yes, exactly.:) I knew I was taking a risk writing a baby, but this was one of those times when the story grabbed me and didn't let me say no, so I'm thrilled you liked Amelia!

As to the ending, well, I'm actually a hopeless sap and generally look to fanfic for happy endings, so yeah. I'm glad the ending worked as payoff for you -- I wanted it to feel realistic, dearly-bought, but happy.:)

p.s. LOL to you sneaking! *g* And also, thanks so very much for the rec!!

[jessebee]

I ... am pretty much just speechless. This is marvelous. You pretty much just ripped my heart out. The sheer anguish Rodney endures is so incredibly live that it leaps off the page, and yet it's never overdone. The use of music, particularly Rodney's music, as the connecting factor is brilliant, although as a musician myself I'll admit to a wee bit of bias, there. The image of Rodney losing himself in the Moonlight Sonata is one that will haunt me for a long time to come. The promise of the baby's instant longing for Rodney was very satisfyingly fufilled by the connection forged between the three of them, and when John and Rodney both finally understood what they meant to each other I will confess to getting a bit of a lump in my throat.

And one more thing: your Keller ROCKS.

Bravo.

[cathalin]

Oh, thank you so very much for your kind words. Getting Rodney's emotional state conveyed without getting heavy-handed was something I was aiming for, so I'm thrilled that his anguish came through -- though sorry your heart was ripped out.:(

Actually, the fact that you are a musician and liked that element thrills me, because I did worry that those scenes could come off as half-baked. Ah! The Moonlight Sonata, yes -- and perhaps you're familiar with its purported history, supposedly being written by Beethoven after the death of his lover, which devastated him... I ended up not able to write that fact into the story without it being too heavy-handed, but it's there, in the background

[fanofall]

I do not have the words. That was such amazing storytelling.

[cathalin]

Thank you so much! What a nice thing to hear.:) I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

Also, your icon rocks!

[cathalin]

I'm thrilled you liked Rodney's initial reluctance/growing fondness -- I really, really loved writing that part of this fic, and enjoyed imagining Rodney in that situation, being forced to get up close and personal with a tiny person.:)

The pacing here was something I worried about, particularly with John not physically there for so much of the story, so I'm glad to hear that worked for you.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

[dodificus]

One night, Rodney feels a chill in his chest after playing longer than usual. He turns slowly and there it is, what he's been hoping for, for such a long time. John's next to Amelia's little seat, curled up asleep on some large pillows on the floor. Amelia's asleep, too, face turned toward John's like she was looking at him right before nodding off.

People are constantly writing kidfic and making me love it even though, ostensibly, I am anti-kidfic. My chest was unbearably tight from the minute Rodney started thinking of a shift towards John for Amelia. Like he couldn't see himself with them.

Nothing was overplayed or overwrought here, it was well paced and thoroughly engaging.

[cathalin]

Ah, your comment means so much, because I *completely* understood, going into this, that kidfic isn't a lot of people's cup of tea (and I had long discussions with my brain about what the heck it was thinking on this one, lol!). And generally speaking, it's not really my thing, either, because that's not really what I look to fanfic for -- or I guess it's better to say, lol, that "people are constantly writing kidfic and making me love it," like you, because in fact a few of my faves *do* involve kids.*g*

So I'm gratified and pleased that this one worked for you, despite your reservations. And I'm very glad that came through, Rodney's fear when John and Amelia developed their own relationship. The poor woobie -- he couldn't see what was right there in front of him.:)

I'm pleased it didn't feel overwrought -- that's something I work hard to combat, because a lot of my story concepts could sort of go that direction.*g* My betas deserve cookies for this, as well!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.