Title: Perfect
Creator: Rabidfan
Characters/Pairing: John Sheppard/Cameron Mitchell
Rating: PG…ish
Warnings: Look both ways before crossing the street. And hold mom’s hand!
Prompt? Nope.
Summary: “Sir.” Lt. Cadman began. “You have to understand that we meant Col. Sheppard no disrespect, sir. He is the finest officer…finest man I’ve ever had the privilege of serving with.”
Notes: As always, the lovely and talented Lexstar29 read this over for me. Any glaring mistakes? I’m throwing her under the bus!
~*~
No one was taking credit for this. No one wanted to have their ass on the line if Landry found out and the whole thing went FUBAR. Cameron understood this but it didn’t change that fact that he needed intel and he was going to push his rank around until he got it.
“Someone had better start giving me answers, and that someone had better start right now,” he barked. It was satisfying to see the motley group he’d cornered jump at that. Rank. It did have its privileges.
“Sir.” Lt. Cadman began. “You have to understand that we meant Col. Sheppard no disrespect, sir. He is the finest officer…finest man I’ve ever had the privilege of serving with.”
“Accepted, Lieutenant. Now spill.”
“It started out as a joke, one of those things that we Marines find amusing and the rest of you scratch your heads over.” Cadman smiled. She was confident that Cameron wasn’t going to bust her chops; he was unwillingly impressed at how well she read him.
“The Marines thought it would be funny to see how many people propositioned Col. Sheppard since DADT ended.” He wasn’t seeing the humor here.
“Well, not at first. See at first I just felt bad for him, you know? I mean, he just never sees it coming and that’s always a train wreck.” Cameron nodded. In his brief stint on Atlantis he’d witnessed a couple of off-world incidents that could back that up. Sheppard never did see it coming. “It seemed like the ink wasn’t even dry on the new regs before a line started forming outside the Colonel’s office. Suddenly, everyone had a question only he could answer; a problem only he could solve.”
“Go on.”
“Mostly civilians at first…guys that knew him from Antarctica or Atlantis, but it wasn’t long before the military guys started showing up, too.”
“Now, the military was a lot more direct. Even the Colonel couldn’t miss their intent. He’d give them all that little smile of his…charm the shit out of them.” Cadman colored slightly. “Sorry for the coarse language, sir.”
“Let’s just jump to the conclusion, shall we?”
“Yes, sir. Sir, it was just something I started noticing as it happened more and more since DADT ended.” Here she had the grace to look abashed. “It was increasingly hard to miss! So Boyer said how we should start placing bets for when the Colonel would blow his cool. Biggs says we should lay odds on when he’d say yes to somebody. It sort of went from there.”
“Still not seeing the funny, Lieutenant.” Cameron stepped a little closer to the diminutive Cadman, pleased to see a nervous swallow in response.
“Perhaps you had to be there, sir.” Cadman shifted into parade rest. “Sir. It’s clear this entire episode has reflected badly on all of us. I can see that what started out innocently has morphed into something seemingly disrespectful to the Colonel. I take full responsibility for the incident and will accept without protest whatever punishment you deem fit.”
“That’s very admirable, Cadman. It may come to that. Walk me through it. Again. This time? No bullshit.” Cam gestured towards the now nearly empty mess. “Sit. All of you,” he added, as the group tried to drift away, willing to throw Cadman under the bus. “I want names, people. All of them.”
Cameron pinched the bridge of his nose. Why was it that dealing with Cadman always gave him a headache?
“You people belong to Sheppard,” he said, gesturing at the Marines on the far side of the table, “and I’ll let him deal with you as he sees fit.”
At the collective indrawn breath, he pointed at the group, “Did you think he’d never hear about this? He may never see it coming, as you say, but he’s not deaf.” The group shifted unhappily in their seats.
“But God help me, Cadman, you belong to me. What in the hell am I supposed to do with you?”
Before the ever-perky Marine could suggest anything Cameron raised a finger for quiet. “All of you report to your barracks. Stay there until instructed otherwise.” The Marines looked downcast…even Cadman looked demoralized. Perfect.
It was probably petty of him to enjoy that. He could live with that.
~*~
Cameron rapped his knuckles against the door frame leading into Sheppard’s office. “Got a minute?”
John jerked in his seat. He knew from the tone that somewhere, shit had just hit the fan. It was a moment of panicked “We’ve been invaded by the Genii!” to and equally panicked “We’ve been attacked by the Wraith! before he remembered that he was sitting at his desk. In his dinky office. On Earth. Swallowing down the adrenaline rush, he gestured for Cam to enter.
“What did they do this time?” he asked. It wasn’t even the first time this week that his bored Marines had managed to get into trouble.
“It seems that Charlie Company and Lt. Cadman were playing a round of ‘Who’s gonna proposition Sheppard next?’ I found them on level twelve taking bets from Bravo company. Bravo, being smart, beat feet before I got to them but Charlie and Cadman have been sent to their barracks until such time as we call for them.” He paused. “I told them you’d deal with them.” He grinned. “I’m stuck with Cadman so we’re almost even.”
“Say what?” Sheppard sighed. Marines. Maybe he’d better set up some sort of invasion on an uninhabited planet before the C-4 made an appearance.
“Seriously? Couldn’t you just have ignored it? I hate you.” Sheppard stood and started pacing in the narrow space behind his desk. “Before we…” Cam deduced from the awkward hand flailing between them that John was referring to their re-kindled relationship.
“Look,” he tried again. “We agreed. We agreed that…this (another vague back-and-forth gesture)…that this wouldn’t interfere with our jobs.”
Perfect. Cam stifled a sigh. Why did Sheppard have to make everything so damn difficult? “How exactly is this interfering with our jobs?”
“You know you’ve have just laughed this off if we weren’t…”
“Jesus, John!” Cameron exploded, suddenly sick of the whole thing. “It’s not that complicated. You can use the very common Earth expletive! We’re fucking! Or, go old fashioned. We’re sleeping together. Seeing each other. Keeping company. Knocking knees, for Christ’s sake. Hell, go all out! Say it out loud. We’re in a relationship. One that I plan on continuing long after Atlantis returns to Pegasus. It’s just not that hard!” Cam slumped into John’s visitor’s chair. “Jesus.”
“Knocking knees?”
“That’s what you pick out?” Anger spiking again, Cameron stood and advanced on the still seated Sheppard. “We don’t have to hide any more. I don’t want to hide. So yes. Yes. We’re knocking knees.” He jabbed a finger into John’s chest to emphasis his exasperation. “And yes, I would have brought this to you no matter about our relationship status because no one should be taking bets about who often their superior officer gets propositioned. It’s disrespectful. Accept it and move on.”
“Knocking knees?”
“Shut up,” Cameron growled. He pulled Sheppard up by his shirt, bringing them nose-to-nose. “Shut up. No one gets to proposition you or talk about propositioning you but me.” He sealed his declaration with a kiss.
“Does that mean you plan on propositioning me?” He licked his lips and tilted up to initiate a kiss of his own.
“Absolutely.” John smirked. He liked the sound of that.
“Right after I deal with Cadman and you deal with your Marines.”
John slumped back in his seat, defeated. “Bastard.”
He brightened, “There’s lots of snow topside, right? Too much for the crews to handle?”
Cameron laughed. Perfect. “We’ll set them up with the crew chief tomorrow. Maybe we’ll get more snow overnight.” He reached for Sheppard’s hands, levering him out of his chair. “You’re a lot better at this ‘command’ stuff than I gave you credit for. Kind of bad-ass. It’s hot. I like it.”
“I am bad-ass.” John swatted at Cameron in a futile effort to stifle his laughter. “I am!” He headed towards the door, Cameron firmly in tow.
“Now I believe you owe me propositioning. I intend to collect. I’ll show you how bad-ass I can be while I do."
Perfect