Fic: As Good As It Gets
Title: As Good As It Gets
Author: rogue_planet
Category: Mcshep, team bonding
Rating: Rish
Spoilers: Up until Phantoms
Recipient: nightfreyja
Summary: "Would you believe me if I told you this was the best of all possible worlds?"
Request: McKay/Sheppard slash; any rating; bad ending is fine. I'd like some really cracky stuff and humor as well.
Author's Note: I managed a painful ending, but not so much the humor and crack
---
Three weeks after he'd disappeared into what they'd honestly thought was a serving tray, Rodney came home. Radek came into the lab and found him sitting beside the device, staring into nothing. "McKay? Rodney, can you hear me?"
There was no answer. He knelt down beside his friend and touched his wrist. Rodney jerked away like he'd been burned. When he tried again, Rodney made a small pained sound.
"Rodney, I am calling Carson. Please, speak." Still nothing. Radek tapped his ear piece. "Zelenka to infirmary. Carson, I found something I think you should see."
---
Carson shone a light into Rodney's left eye, checking for pupil reaction. "He's still in there, somewhere. He's responsive to stimuli, he just won't answer us." He noticed Elizabeth reaching out to touch Rodney and he grabbed her wrist. "You don't want to be doing that. He doesn't like it." He'd had to examine Rodney, and at each touch, he'd made horrible sounds, like touch was a painful brand he couldn't bear.
"Alright." She withdrew her hand and stared into Rodney's eyes. "Can he hear us?"
"Almost certainly." Carson clicked his pen light off. "We're going to have to tell John he's come home."
"Are you home, Rodney?" There was, of course, no sound. "How do I tell John this?"
"You'll figure something out." Carson sure as hell wasn't doing it.
---
Elizabeth found them meditating, sitting in a circle in Teyla's room, incense burned all the way down, candles flickering, hands joined. She knew they did this in their off time, but it was strange to see. Teyla had been convinced Rodney was lost somewhere and that they could guide him home through the strength of their will. She wasn't sure they were wrong, so she hesitated before she cleared her throat.
Teyla's eyes flashed open, and she looked irritated. "We wish not to be disturbed."
"We found him."
John was on his feet so quick Elizabeth's eyes could barely follow him and he was out the door. Ronon and Teyla weren't far behind. Elizabeth blew out the candle and didn't follow them.
---
Carson had pressed a fork into Rodney's hand at some point, so when they burst into the infirmary he was mechanically eating, slowly and carefully. Teyla and Ronon froze in the entry way but John came all the way up the bedside, his eyes wide and almost disbelieving. "Jesus. Rodney, you scared the shit out of us. Where have you been?" There was, of course, no answer, but Rodney actually lifted his head and his eyes focused on John. "Rodney, where have you been?" John reached out and before Carson could stop him, rested his hand on Rodney's shoulder. There was no pained sound this time, in fact, Rodney's wary eyes drifted shut and he let the fork slip from his tense grip. "Only you could get transported off-world by a serving platter."
The spell seemingly broken, Teyla came deeper into the infirmary and she asked, "Where has he been?"
"Radek found him in the lab, exactly where he disappeared." Carson stared, puzzled, at John's hand on Rodney's shoulder. "He wouldn't let any of us touch him."
"Is he okay?" John couldn't see any marks, but Rodney wasn't talking and for him, that was definitely abnormal.
"Aside from not speaking, he seems perfectly healthy. It's not shock, in the medical sense, but he's withdrawn to the point where he won't communicate with us."
"May we take him home?" Teyla edged closer and closer to the bed.
"I can't-"
"What she meant is, we're taking him home." Ronon was suddenly standing behind Carson, doing that looming thing he did so well. "If he's not sick, if he just scared, then he needs us, not you."
"We'll call you if we need you." John squeezed Rodney's shoulder and whispered something into his ear. Rodney slowly got to his feet and John nodded to Ronon and Teyla. Like armed guards, they flanked John and Rodney as they left the infirmary.
Carson threw up his hands. Suddenly, he felt a strange kinship to the late Dr. Fraiser and all the years she'd had to deal with SG-1.
---
They didn't, in fact, take Rodney back to his room. They took him back to Teyla's and put him in the middle of their triangle. Each of them laid a hand on him and they sat in silence, the incense swirling through the room, until all the tension finally drained out of Rodney and his shoulders slumped.
"You're home, Rodney. I promise." John stroked his face and kissed him, for a long time, trying to find his friend somewhere in there. Then he pulled Rodney backwards so his head was pillowed in John's lap. "Tell us where you've been."
Rodney's eyes closed and he finally spoke. "Would you believe me if I told you this was the best of all possible worlds?"
Teyla's voice came from somewhere to his left. "You do not mean that."
"If, on that day she shattered my hopes of every playing professionally, my piano teacher didn't get a speeding ticket, she never tells me I have no passion. My technical skill is enough to get by on and I go to Longly Conservatory in Cambridge. I meet a aeronautical engineer studying at MIT." Rodney heard John's sharp intake of breath. "I find my passion in him. Neither of us go to work for the military and in 2003, the expedition to Atlantis drowns."
"Rodney-"
"Or maybe I stay in Russia, and the monster in the dark kills you all. Or I die, at age seven, when one of my classmates puts lemon in my pop and leaves me turning blue on the floor."
"Rodney, stop." John got the feeling maybe Rodney hadn't been speaking because he knew once he started he couldn't stop.
"The funny thing was, I met John seventeen different ways before the Atlantis expedition. In six of them, neither of us come here. In six, it's just me, in five it's just him. In the universes when it's just me, the Wraith make it to Earth in under six months." Rodney's eyes opened again and he looked up into John's. "When it's just you, John, it takes them up to a year."
They've both read the reports about all the alternate worlds SG-1 saw. There was always one variable missing. "You are not Daniel Jackson, this is not 'It's a Wonderful Life.' We love you, but the universe does not revolve around you."
"In six months,-"
Teyla placed her hand over Rodney's mouth. "You must stop. None of this ever happened." When she lifted her hand, he started speaking again, this time directed at Ronon.
"And in one of those realities, John, Teyla, Cadman and I step through the gate to Sateda. A young military officer is assigned to escort us around the capital. He has a little girl, and a son on the way. He'll pull you aside, John, so he can tell you about the great battle his people fought with the Wraith seven years before and how his best friend had taken a nuke on a suicide run into the Hive and saved the world. He'll say he and his wife are naming their son Karon in his honor."
"Please stop." Rodney is sure they're both staring at him, because Ronon never says please. "Don't tell me anymore."
"Six months later, when we come back to retake the city, we'll fail without your help." Rodney seemed to be done, and he let his eyes shut again. "How am I supposed to live with knowing this is as good as it gets?"
Author: rogue_planet
Category: Mcshep, team bonding
Rating: Rish
Spoilers: Up until Phantoms
Recipient: nightfreyja
Summary: "Would you believe me if I told you this was the best of all possible worlds?"
Request: McKay/Sheppard slash; any rating; bad ending is fine. I'd like some really cracky stuff and humor as well.
Author's Note: I managed a painful ending, but not so much the humor and crack
---
Three weeks after he'd disappeared into what they'd honestly thought was a serving tray, Rodney came home. Radek came into the lab and found him sitting beside the device, staring into nothing. "McKay? Rodney, can you hear me?"
There was no answer. He knelt down beside his friend and touched his wrist. Rodney jerked away like he'd been burned. When he tried again, Rodney made a small pained sound.
"Rodney, I am calling Carson. Please, speak." Still nothing. Radek tapped his ear piece. "Zelenka to infirmary. Carson, I found something I think you should see."
---
Carson shone a light into Rodney's left eye, checking for pupil reaction. "He's still in there, somewhere. He's responsive to stimuli, he just won't answer us." He noticed Elizabeth reaching out to touch Rodney and he grabbed her wrist. "You don't want to be doing that. He doesn't like it." He'd had to examine Rodney, and at each touch, he'd made horrible sounds, like touch was a painful brand he couldn't bear.
"Alright." She withdrew her hand and stared into Rodney's eyes. "Can he hear us?"
"Almost certainly." Carson clicked his pen light off. "We're going to have to tell John he's come home."
"Are you home, Rodney?" There was, of course, no sound. "How do I tell John this?"
"You'll figure something out." Carson sure as hell wasn't doing it.
---
Elizabeth found them meditating, sitting in a circle in Teyla's room, incense burned all the way down, candles flickering, hands joined. She knew they did this in their off time, but it was strange to see. Teyla had been convinced Rodney was lost somewhere and that they could guide him home through the strength of their will. She wasn't sure they were wrong, so she hesitated before she cleared her throat.
Teyla's eyes flashed open, and she looked irritated. "We wish not to be disturbed."
"We found him."
John was on his feet so quick Elizabeth's eyes could barely follow him and he was out the door. Ronon and Teyla weren't far behind. Elizabeth blew out the candle and didn't follow them.
---
Carson had pressed a fork into Rodney's hand at some point, so when they burst into the infirmary he was mechanically eating, slowly and carefully. Teyla and Ronon froze in the entry way but John came all the way up the bedside, his eyes wide and almost disbelieving. "Jesus. Rodney, you scared the shit out of us. Where have you been?" There was, of course, no answer, but Rodney actually lifted his head and his eyes focused on John. "Rodney, where have you been?" John reached out and before Carson could stop him, rested his hand on Rodney's shoulder. There was no pained sound this time, in fact, Rodney's wary eyes drifted shut and he let the fork slip from his tense grip. "Only you could get transported off-world by a serving platter."
The spell seemingly broken, Teyla came deeper into the infirmary and she asked, "Where has he been?"
"Radek found him in the lab, exactly where he disappeared." Carson stared, puzzled, at John's hand on Rodney's shoulder. "He wouldn't let any of us touch him."
"Is he okay?" John couldn't see any marks, but Rodney wasn't talking and for him, that was definitely abnormal.
"Aside from not speaking, he seems perfectly healthy. It's not shock, in the medical sense, but he's withdrawn to the point where he won't communicate with us."
"May we take him home?" Teyla edged closer and closer to the bed.
"I can't-"
"What she meant is, we're taking him home." Ronon was suddenly standing behind Carson, doing that looming thing he did so well. "If he's not sick, if he just scared, then he needs us, not you."
"We'll call you if we need you." John squeezed Rodney's shoulder and whispered something into his ear. Rodney slowly got to his feet and John nodded to Ronon and Teyla. Like armed guards, they flanked John and Rodney as they left the infirmary.
Carson threw up his hands. Suddenly, he felt a strange kinship to the late Dr. Fraiser and all the years she'd had to deal with SG-1.
---
They didn't, in fact, take Rodney back to his room. They took him back to Teyla's and put him in the middle of their triangle. Each of them laid a hand on him and they sat in silence, the incense swirling through the room, until all the tension finally drained out of Rodney and his shoulders slumped.
"You're home, Rodney. I promise." John stroked his face and kissed him, for a long time, trying to find his friend somewhere in there. Then he pulled Rodney backwards so his head was pillowed in John's lap. "Tell us where you've been."
Rodney's eyes closed and he finally spoke. "Would you believe me if I told you this was the best of all possible worlds?"
Teyla's voice came from somewhere to his left. "You do not mean that."
"If, on that day she shattered my hopes of every playing professionally, my piano teacher didn't get a speeding ticket, she never tells me I have no passion. My technical skill is enough to get by on and I go to Longly Conservatory in Cambridge. I meet a aeronautical engineer studying at MIT." Rodney heard John's sharp intake of breath. "I find my passion in him. Neither of us go to work for the military and in 2003, the expedition to Atlantis drowns."
"Rodney-"
"Or maybe I stay in Russia, and the monster in the dark kills you all. Or I die, at age seven, when one of my classmates puts lemon in my pop and leaves me turning blue on the floor."
"Rodney, stop." John got the feeling maybe Rodney hadn't been speaking because he knew once he started he couldn't stop.
"The funny thing was, I met John seventeen different ways before the Atlantis expedition. In six of them, neither of us come here. In six, it's just me, in five it's just him. In the universes when it's just me, the Wraith make it to Earth in under six months." Rodney's eyes opened again and he looked up into John's. "When it's just you, John, it takes them up to a year."
They've both read the reports about all the alternate worlds SG-1 saw. There was always one variable missing. "You are not Daniel Jackson, this is not 'It's a Wonderful Life.' We love you, but the universe does not revolve around you."
"In six months,-"
Teyla placed her hand over Rodney's mouth. "You must stop. None of this ever happened." When she lifted her hand, he started speaking again, this time directed at Ronon.
"And in one of those realities, John, Teyla, Cadman and I step through the gate to Sateda. A young military officer is assigned to escort us around the capital. He has a little girl, and a son on the way. He'll pull you aside, John, so he can tell you about the great battle his people fought with the Wraith seven years before and how his best friend had taken a nuke on a suicide run into the Hive and saved the world. He'll say he and his wife are naming their son Karon in his honor."
"Please stop." Rodney is sure they're both staring at him, because Ronon never says please. "Don't tell me anymore."
"Six months later, when we come back to retake the city, we'll fail without your help." Rodney seemed to be done, and he let his eyes shut again. "How am I supposed to live with knowing this is as good as it gets?"