Fic: Breathe You In (Dex/Sheppard, NC-17)
Title: Breathe You In
Author: angelus2hot
Recipient: wings128
Pairing: John Sheppard/Ronon Dex
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Notes: Thanks to C for the numerous beta work (I kept changing things around) and the title and thanks to H for the hand holding and fixing of a paragraph (a couple of sentences are all hers.)
Summary: After months of denying himself Ronon can't take it any longer as things finally come to a head.
-o-
John sighed loudly as he wandered aimlessly up and down the corridors of Atlantis. It was his day off and for some reason he was bored absolutely senseless. He didn't understand why. It wasn't as if he didn't have anything to do. Granted Ronon was on the mainland doing who knew what but that didn't mean he couldn't have enjoyed a relaxing day without him. There were a lot of things he could have done. He could have raced cars with Rodney or went fishing with Carson hell he could have even hit golf balls off of one of Atlantis' piers but nothing appealed to him. Instead he had spent the day roaming Atlantis like a lost puppy looking for his home. A sigh went through him. What the hell was wrong with him? Surely, it couldn't have had anything to do with Ronon's absence.
He turned to walk down the main corridor once again and his spirits perked up when he saw Ronon walking towards him. Finally! This was the first time he had seen Ronon all day. Maybe now they could spend some time together even if all they did was sit around and talk. "Hey, you want to go..."
Before he could finish his sentence Ronon was already shaking his head. "No."
What the...? That didn't make any sense. "Okay what about..."
Once again Ronon quickly interrupted before John could finish speaking. "No." Without another word Ronon tossed his dreadlocks over his shoulder and tried to brush past him.
What the hell? This was getting ridiculous. Something was obviously eating him. But of course knowing Ronon like he did the big guy would rather fight an angry horde of Wraith single handedly then to talk about what was bothering him. But just because that was what Ronon would rather do didn't mean he would pay it any mind.
John reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Ronon took a step back and moved his arm until John had no choice but to let go. "I'm fine, Sheppard. Just let it go."
But John wasn't buying it. Ronon was anything but fine. For the past few weeks he had noticed a slight cooling off where Ronon was concerned. It was almost as if he didn't want to be around him any longer, as if Ronon couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. And John was determined to get to the bottom of it.
"I don't think so, Ronon. Something is eating at you and I want to know what it is." At the stubborn look on Ronon's face he quickly added, "I'm not going to let up until you talk to me." John could be just as stubborn as he could when he wanted to be. He watched the play of emotions as they chased each other across Ronon's face, anger, confusion, doubt along with something else he couldn't quite name.
For months he had fought against his feelings for the man in front of him and each day it only got harder to deny himself the one thing he wanted but couldn't have. Maybe he could get his feelings back under control if only John would let him walk away but of course that wasn't John's style. "Fine!" Ronon's lips curled into a snarl as he all but yelled the word. "You really want to know what's wrong with me?"
It looked as if anger had won out. Oh well at lease he was talking. "Yes. I do."
"It's you."
John thought and thought but he couldn't come up with anything he might have done to upset Ronon. "What the hell did I do?"
"I thought I could do it, John. I thought it would be so easy." Ronon took a deep breath. "When I decided to stay on Atlantis I thought I could be a part of your team. I thought I could be patient and wait and just maybe someday... but it's not working. It's not enough."
A wave of confusion swept through him. What the hell was he talking about? Wait for what? Did he want to leave? His heart beat wildly in his chest at the thought of Ronon walking out of his life. It wasn't something he cared to contemplate. He didn't think he could stand it. "I don't get it. Help me understand."
Ronon tried to reign in his emotions and keep them on a tight leash but at John's words his control snapped. "I'll make it simpler for you." Ronon moved so fast John didn't realize what was happening until his body was flush against the wall. With a slow grin Ronon placed his hands on either side of John effectively trapping him. His dreadlocks brushed against John's face as he lowered his head closer. "You really have no idea, do you?" He barely waited for John's whispered no before he continued, "It would be laughable if it wasn't so damn sad." He muttered softly under his breath before he began to speak a little louder. "I lay awake every night thinking about what it would feel like to..." He paused for a moment as he wondered if he should continue. But he knew he didn't really have a choice. He wanted John with an undeniable passion and it was way past time he went after what he wanted. "There's not been a night since we met that I haven't fallen asleep to the scent of you driving me crazy. So close, so easy just to reach out and take you, but I was never sure...Didn't want to ruin what we had." Ronon lowered his gaze to John's mouth before returning to stare into his eyes. Slowly, deliberately Ronon licked his lips with the tip of his tongue before he whispered huskily, "I would gladly give up my last breath if I could be inside of you."
Desire hot and heavy rushed through John's body as his breath caught in his throat. Had anyone in the history of forever been wanted as badly as that? He'd had no idea, not even a small inkling of a clue that Ronon had felt... John swallowed hard. Ronon wanted him. A thrill went through him at the thought. All those wasted months he had spent fighting against his feelings for Ronon only to find out the whole time Ronon was feeling the same thing, it was beyond anything he could have ever...
With deliberate slowness Ronon cupped John's face in his hands, his body leaning hard against John as he lowered his head, abruptly cutting off John's thoughts bringing him back into the moment. But before their lips could meet Ronon quickly raised his head, a ghost of a smile on his face as his surroundings dawned on him. "We shouldn't do this here." He straightened as he took a step back and held out his hand. "Come with me."
John didn't have to be asked twice. He placed his hand in Ronon's and allowed himself to be led down the corridor to Ronon's quarters.
-o-
John rubbed his moist palms down the side of his pants as he stood in the middle of Ronon's room, waiting. He couldn't believe how nervous he was. He felt like a schoolboy with his first crush. But this thing with Ronon was a lot more than a just a crush. He had wanted the big Satedan almost from the moment they had met. And now, after months of waiting and wanting they were finally going to... Breath he didn't even realize he had been holding escaped with a whooshing sound through his clenched teeth.
Without taking his eyes off of John, Ronon made sure the door was locked before he turned towards him. At the look on John's face, he paused. "You okay?" At his nod Ronon softly whispered, "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
A soft smile began to slowly curl John's lips upwards. He couldn't believe Ronon thought there was the slightest chance he didn't want to do this. Nothing could be further from the truth. He wanted it badly. Ronon wasn't the only one who had dreamed of them being together like this. "Are you kidding me? I've been waiting a very long time for this...for you."
Without another word Ronon closed the distance between them. He smiled as he tangled his hands in John's hair, tugging gently until John leaned his head back. A low growl rumbled from deep within his throat as he lowered his head and captured John's lips with his own.
The world stopped spinning as Ronon nipped and nibbled at John's lips before sliding his tongue into the hot cavern of John's mouth. The sounds coming from John as they kissed had him rock hard and aching. Without breaking contact he began to move them slowly towards the bed. He needed to get inside of John.
Finally, he was forced to pull away to allow John to catch his breath, he dropped his hands to John's hips and urged him closer allowing him to feel the hardness of his erection straining against his pants. Unable to stop himself Ronon began to nuzzle John's neck.
John couldn't stop the loud groan as Ronon blazed a trail of wet openmouthed kisses across his skin, down his neck to his shoulder and back again. "Please." The word was tore from his mouth as Ronon began to leave love bites on his neck.
That was all Ronon needed to hear.
Clothes were slung from their bodies uncaringly in their haste to feel the smooth glide of skin upon skin. As the last article of clothing was dropped to the floor they fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.
"Want you so bad." John admitted as he hurriedly got to his knees.
Ronon swallowed hard at the magnificent sight before his eyes. He had wanted John for so long and to see him like this, waiting, trusting, giving himself to him... a tremor raced through his body as he shifted on the bed to get behind John. His voice was hardly recognizable as he whispered, "I'm going to die if I don't get inside of you now."
He grabbed a tube of Astroglide from the bedside table and poured a generous amount in the palm of his hand. As he slathered the length of his cock from tip to base with the oil, he slowly pushed his slick fingers inside of John, one at a time. With great care he began to thrust his fingers in and out in a mock imitation of what he so desperately needed. As soon as John started pushing back against his fingers silently demanding more Ronon knew he was ready.
The mattress dipped beneath Ronon's knees as he moved forward, his hands caressing John's shoulders, the small of his back, the round globes of his ass until he could press the head of his cock against John's puckered opening. Ever so slowly he began to slide into John's welcoming body, inch by delicious inch until his balls pressed tight against John's ass and he was so deep inside of him it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.
It felt as if it had taken hours for Ronon to get fully inside of his trembling body but in actuality it had taken only moments. A long low hiss escaped John as Ronon thrust his hard cock inside of him, stretching his body, demanding he surrender and accept all of him.
Heavy breathing coupled with the wet slick sound of their bodies thrusting against each other echoed around the room. It should have sounded obscene but it only fueled their passion for more.
"Want you." Once again John whispered the words almost incoherently as he pushed himself back harder against Ronon, fucking himself on Ronon's thick cock, driving him deeper inside of his aching body. The deeper Ronon was inside of him the better he liked it.
Ronon's eyes rolled back in his head as he nodded incapable of speech as John's ass squeezed his cock like a vise. Somewhere in the corner of his mind he knew John couldn't see him nod but it was all he was capable of doing at the moment.
He thrust deeper and deeper, his fingers digging into John's hips. This was where he had wanted to be for a long time, buried deep inside of John, his balls slapping against the other man's ass as his name fell from John's lips in a litany of prayer.
John curled his hands into fists around the sheets as over and over again Ronon hit his prostate with every deep mind-blowing thrust. He felt as if a tidal wave was washing over him, bombarding his body with more pleasure than he could possibly handle and all he could do was hold on tight and trust Ronon to see him safely through. He wiggled his ass from side to side before he slammed back against Ronon, urging him to thrust deeper.
Half-moon shapes were indented into his skin as Ronon's fingers bit into his hips. But John didn't care how Ronon marked his body as long as he didn't stop the painful pleasure that was almost consuming him. His cock hung heavy between his legs, rock hard and aching, his balls were tight and his body trembled with need as Ronon continued to thrust into him over and over again taking him higher than he had ever been before.
Ronon barely grazed John's cock with the tips of his fingers before he wrapped his hand around John's cock and began to stroke in time to his thrusts. He cradled John against him, his body pushing deeper and deeper inside of John.
For a brief time almost everything faded from their consciousness, nothing mattered but the give and take of pleasure, the soft moans and harsh groans of passion that filled the room.
John's body trembled as pinpricks of desire raced through him, every cell in his body tightened to almost unbearable pleasure the kind that was almost painful as his orgasm was ripped from him. He yelled Ronon's name over and over again as he pushed himself back onto Ronon's cock and rode the crest of his orgasm until lights danced in front of his eyes and he felt his knees go weak.
With a growl, low and deep, Ronon gripped John's hips with both hands, his fingers digging into the smooth flesh as he thrust over and over, slamming his cock in deeper, harder, faster until he tossed his head back and roared his release.
Ronon's breathing was harsh, his heartbeat erratic as he collapsed on top of John, the weight of his body driving him into the mattress.
John crumpled beneath him with a grunt.
"Sorry." Ronon muttered against the back of John's neck. He knew he should move, he was probably too heavy for John, but he didn't think he had the strength or willpower to go anywhere. But still he should try.
"No." John whispered, his voice was so low the words were barely discernable. "Don't move."
"But I'm too..."
John quickly interrupted. "Just for a little while longer. I love the feeling of..." He closed his eyes. He had wanted this, prayed for this for so long, he wasn't ready for it to end. John wanted, no he needed to be sure it was real. How was he supposed to explain to Ronon what he wanted, what he needed? "I need..."
"Shh." Ronon whispered in understanding as he lightly kissed the tender skin on the side of John's neck and thrust deep. A smile curled his lips as he felt John tremble beneath him. "It's okay, John." He slid his arm around the front of John's shoulder, pulling him tight. "I'm not going anywhere."
A sigh of contentment slipped passed John's lips as he closed his eyes. This was where he should have been all along, wrapped in Ronon's arms.
Author: angelus2hot
Recipient: wings128
Pairing: John Sheppard/Ronon Dex
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Notes: Thanks to C for the numerous beta work (I kept changing things around) and the title and thanks to H for the hand holding and fixing of a paragraph (a couple of sentences are all hers.)
Summary: After months of denying himself Ronon can't take it any longer as things finally come to a head.
-o-
John sighed loudly as he wandered aimlessly up and down the corridors of Atlantis. It was his day off and for some reason he was bored absolutely senseless. He didn't understand why. It wasn't as if he didn't have anything to do. Granted Ronon was on the mainland doing who knew what but that didn't mean he couldn't have enjoyed a relaxing day without him. There were a lot of things he could have done. He could have raced cars with Rodney or went fishing with Carson hell he could have even hit golf balls off of one of Atlantis' piers but nothing appealed to him. Instead he had spent the day roaming Atlantis like a lost puppy looking for his home. A sigh went through him. What the hell was wrong with him? Surely, it couldn't have had anything to do with Ronon's absence.
He turned to walk down the main corridor once again and his spirits perked up when he saw Ronon walking towards him. Finally! This was the first time he had seen Ronon all day. Maybe now they could spend some time together even if all they did was sit around and talk. "Hey, you want to go..."
Before he could finish his sentence Ronon was already shaking his head. "No."
What the...? That didn't make any sense. "Okay what about..."
Once again Ronon quickly interrupted before John could finish speaking. "No." Without another word Ronon tossed his dreadlocks over his shoulder and tried to brush past him.
What the hell? This was getting ridiculous. Something was obviously eating him. But of course knowing Ronon like he did the big guy would rather fight an angry horde of Wraith single handedly then to talk about what was bothering him. But just because that was what Ronon would rather do didn't mean he would pay it any mind.
John reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Ronon took a step back and moved his arm until John had no choice but to let go. "I'm fine, Sheppard. Just let it go."
But John wasn't buying it. Ronon was anything but fine. For the past few weeks he had noticed a slight cooling off where Ronon was concerned. It was almost as if he didn't want to be around him any longer, as if Ronon couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. And John was determined to get to the bottom of it.
"I don't think so, Ronon. Something is eating at you and I want to know what it is." At the stubborn look on Ronon's face he quickly added, "I'm not going to let up until you talk to me." John could be just as stubborn as he could when he wanted to be. He watched the play of emotions as they chased each other across Ronon's face, anger, confusion, doubt along with something else he couldn't quite name.
For months he had fought against his feelings for the man in front of him and each day it only got harder to deny himself the one thing he wanted but couldn't have. Maybe he could get his feelings back under control if only John would let him walk away but of course that wasn't John's style. "Fine!" Ronon's lips curled into a snarl as he all but yelled the word. "You really want to know what's wrong with me?"
It looked as if anger had won out. Oh well at lease he was talking. "Yes. I do."
"It's you."
John thought and thought but he couldn't come up with anything he might have done to upset Ronon. "What the hell did I do?"
"I thought I could do it, John. I thought it would be so easy." Ronon took a deep breath. "When I decided to stay on Atlantis I thought I could be a part of your team. I thought I could be patient and wait and just maybe someday... but it's not working. It's not enough."
A wave of confusion swept through him. What the hell was he talking about? Wait for what? Did he want to leave? His heart beat wildly in his chest at the thought of Ronon walking out of his life. It wasn't something he cared to contemplate. He didn't think he could stand it. "I don't get it. Help me understand."
Ronon tried to reign in his emotions and keep them on a tight leash but at John's words his control snapped. "I'll make it simpler for you." Ronon moved so fast John didn't realize what was happening until his body was flush against the wall. With a slow grin Ronon placed his hands on either side of John effectively trapping him. His dreadlocks brushed against John's face as he lowered his head closer. "You really have no idea, do you?" He barely waited for John's whispered no before he continued, "It would be laughable if it wasn't so damn sad." He muttered softly under his breath before he began to speak a little louder. "I lay awake every night thinking about what it would feel like to..." He paused for a moment as he wondered if he should continue. But he knew he didn't really have a choice. He wanted John with an undeniable passion and it was way past time he went after what he wanted. "There's not been a night since we met that I haven't fallen asleep to the scent of you driving me crazy. So close, so easy just to reach out and take you, but I was never sure...Didn't want to ruin what we had." Ronon lowered his gaze to John's mouth before returning to stare into his eyes. Slowly, deliberately Ronon licked his lips with the tip of his tongue before he whispered huskily, "I would gladly give up my last breath if I could be inside of you."
Desire hot and heavy rushed through John's body as his breath caught in his throat. Had anyone in the history of forever been wanted as badly as that? He'd had no idea, not even a small inkling of a clue that Ronon had felt... John swallowed hard. Ronon wanted him. A thrill went through him at the thought. All those wasted months he had spent fighting against his feelings for Ronon only to find out the whole time Ronon was feeling the same thing, it was beyond anything he could have ever...
With deliberate slowness Ronon cupped John's face in his hands, his body leaning hard against John as he lowered his head, abruptly cutting off John's thoughts bringing him back into the moment. But before their lips could meet Ronon quickly raised his head, a ghost of a smile on his face as his surroundings dawned on him. "We shouldn't do this here." He straightened as he took a step back and held out his hand. "Come with me."
John didn't have to be asked twice. He placed his hand in Ronon's and allowed himself to be led down the corridor to Ronon's quarters.
-o-
John rubbed his moist palms down the side of his pants as he stood in the middle of Ronon's room, waiting. He couldn't believe how nervous he was. He felt like a schoolboy with his first crush. But this thing with Ronon was a lot more than a just a crush. He had wanted the big Satedan almost from the moment they had met. And now, after months of waiting and wanting they were finally going to... Breath he didn't even realize he had been holding escaped with a whooshing sound through his clenched teeth.
Without taking his eyes off of John, Ronon made sure the door was locked before he turned towards him. At the look on John's face, he paused. "You okay?" At his nod Ronon softly whispered, "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
A soft smile began to slowly curl John's lips upwards. He couldn't believe Ronon thought there was the slightest chance he didn't want to do this. Nothing could be further from the truth. He wanted it badly. Ronon wasn't the only one who had dreamed of them being together like this. "Are you kidding me? I've been waiting a very long time for this...for you."
Without another word Ronon closed the distance between them. He smiled as he tangled his hands in John's hair, tugging gently until John leaned his head back. A low growl rumbled from deep within his throat as he lowered his head and captured John's lips with his own.
The world stopped spinning as Ronon nipped and nibbled at John's lips before sliding his tongue into the hot cavern of John's mouth. The sounds coming from John as they kissed had him rock hard and aching. Without breaking contact he began to move them slowly towards the bed. He needed to get inside of John.
Finally, he was forced to pull away to allow John to catch his breath, he dropped his hands to John's hips and urged him closer allowing him to feel the hardness of his erection straining against his pants. Unable to stop himself Ronon began to nuzzle John's neck.
John couldn't stop the loud groan as Ronon blazed a trail of wet openmouthed kisses across his skin, down his neck to his shoulder and back again. "Please." The word was tore from his mouth as Ronon began to leave love bites on his neck.
That was all Ronon needed to hear.
Clothes were slung from their bodies uncaringly in their haste to feel the smooth glide of skin upon skin. As the last article of clothing was dropped to the floor they fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.
"Want you so bad." John admitted as he hurriedly got to his knees.
Ronon swallowed hard at the magnificent sight before his eyes. He had wanted John for so long and to see him like this, waiting, trusting, giving himself to him... a tremor raced through his body as he shifted on the bed to get behind John. His voice was hardly recognizable as he whispered, "I'm going to die if I don't get inside of you now."
He grabbed a tube of Astroglide from the bedside table and poured a generous amount in the palm of his hand. As he slathered the length of his cock from tip to base with the oil, he slowly pushed his slick fingers inside of John, one at a time. With great care he began to thrust his fingers in and out in a mock imitation of what he so desperately needed. As soon as John started pushing back against his fingers silently demanding more Ronon knew he was ready.
The mattress dipped beneath Ronon's knees as he moved forward, his hands caressing John's shoulders, the small of his back, the round globes of his ass until he could press the head of his cock against John's puckered opening. Ever so slowly he began to slide into John's welcoming body, inch by delicious inch until his balls pressed tight against John's ass and he was so deep inside of him it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.
It felt as if it had taken hours for Ronon to get fully inside of his trembling body but in actuality it had taken only moments. A long low hiss escaped John as Ronon thrust his hard cock inside of him, stretching his body, demanding he surrender and accept all of him.
Heavy breathing coupled with the wet slick sound of their bodies thrusting against each other echoed around the room. It should have sounded obscene but it only fueled their passion for more.
"Want you." Once again John whispered the words almost incoherently as he pushed himself back harder against Ronon, fucking himself on Ronon's thick cock, driving him deeper inside of his aching body. The deeper Ronon was inside of him the better he liked it.
Ronon's eyes rolled back in his head as he nodded incapable of speech as John's ass squeezed his cock like a vise. Somewhere in the corner of his mind he knew John couldn't see him nod but it was all he was capable of doing at the moment.
He thrust deeper and deeper, his fingers digging into John's hips. This was where he had wanted to be for a long time, buried deep inside of John, his balls slapping against the other man's ass as his name fell from John's lips in a litany of prayer.
John curled his hands into fists around the sheets as over and over again Ronon hit his prostate with every deep mind-blowing thrust. He felt as if a tidal wave was washing over him, bombarding his body with more pleasure than he could possibly handle and all he could do was hold on tight and trust Ronon to see him safely through. He wiggled his ass from side to side before he slammed back against Ronon, urging him to thrust deeper.
Half-moon shapes were indented into his skin as Ronon's fingers bit into his hips. But John didn't care how Ronon marked his body as long as he didn't stop the painful pleasure that was almost consuming him. His cock hung heavy between his legs, rock hard and aching, his balls were tight and his body trembled with need as Ronon continued to thrust into him over and over again taking him higher than he had ever been before.
Ronon barely grazed John's cock with the tips of his fingers before he wrapped his hand around John's cock and began to stroke in time to his thrusts. He cradled John against him, his body pushing deeper and deeper inside of John.
For a brief time almost everything faded from their consciousness, nothing mattered but the give and take of pleasure, the soft moans and harsh groans of passion that filled the room.
John's body trembled as pinpricks of desire raced through him, every cell in his body tightened to almost unbearable pleasure the kind that was almost painful as his orgasm was ripped from him. He yelled Ronon's name over and over again as he pushed himself back onto Ronon's cock and rode the crest of his orgasm until lights danced in front of his eyes and he felt his knees go weak.
With a growl, low and deep, Ronon gripped John's hips with both hands, his fingers digging into the smooth flesh as he thrust over and over, slamming his cock in deeper, harder, faster until he tossed his head back and roared his release.
Ronon's breathing was harsh, his heartbeat erratic as he collapsed on top of John, the weight of his body driving him into the mattress.
John crumpled beneath him with a grunt.
"Sorry." Ronon muttered against the back of John's neck. He knew he should move, he was probably too heavy for John, but he didn't think he had the strength or willpower to go anywhere. But still he should try.
"No." John whispered, his voice was so low the words were barely discernable. "Don't move."
"But I'm too..."
John quickly interrupted. "Just for a little while longer. I love the feeling of..." He closed his eyes. He had wanted this, prayed for this for so long, he wasn't ready for it to end. John wanted, no he needed to be sure it was real. How was he supposed to explain to Ronon what he wanted, what he needed? "I need..."
"Shh." Ronon whispered in understanding as he lightly kissed the tender skin on the side of John's neck and thrust deep. A smile curled his lips as he felt John tremble beneath him. "It's okay, John." He slid his arm around the front of John's shoulder, pulling him tight. "I'm not going anywhere."
A sigh of contentment slipped passed John's lips as he closed his eyes. This was where he should have been all along, wrapped in Ronon's arms.