Fic: Doors, Windows And What The Universe Does With Them (McKay/Sheppard, PG13)
Title: Doors, Windows And What The Universe Does With Them
Author: meansgirl
Recipient: moonlettuce
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I am just borrowing them for fun.
Author's Notes: Huge thanks to busaikko, who acted as beta and did wonderful things with commas. Any mistakes remaining are my own.
Summary: Post-season 5. Atlantis returns to Pegasus, but all is not well with John and Rodney.
Still On Earth
Atlantis is buzzing in more ways than one the day they're scheduled to lift off and take her home to Pegasus. John weaves through a sea of crates and hand trolleys in the gate room to get to where Rodney is running last checks on their systems.
"One more hour," John says, relishing the thrill it gives him to say that, finally. "We ready?"
"Yeah, just about." Rodney taps a few keys and looks up. He looks like hell.
"Jesus, Rodney, you look like death warmed over."
"Long night," Rodney says. He rubs a hand over his face. "I'll sleep when we've landed."
"I thought you took last night off to -- oh. Never mind, say no more." John rocks back, feeling awkward, and mentally wills Rodney not to tell him anything about his "long night" with Keller.
But Rodney sighs and looks down at his laptop. John knows he's not really seeing anything on the screen, because Rodney doesn't have his thinking face on, or even his reading the numbers just to read the numbers face. He just looks blank and lost, and very tired.
"Hey," John says, feeling like maybe he ought to put a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Everything okay?"
"Jennifer broke up with me," Rodney says shortly, looking up from the laptop again. "It's over."
"Oh." John knows he should be doing the shoulder-pat thing but his arm just isn't doing the work for him. "That's... kind of surprising."
"Not really." Rodney starts closing down his laptop. "She was too young for me, you know. It was borderline inappropriate. She's... whatever. I really need to go run a last check on the ZPMs before we lift off."
John steps out of Rodney's way as he unplugs cables and tosses things in a shoulder bag. "Okay. Um. Beer on the pier as soon as things calm down, okay?"
"Sure," Rodney mutters. "Fine."
"Rodney."
Rodney stills long enough for John to duck his head and catch Rodney's eyes.
"I'm really sorry."
"Thanks," Rodney says, and hurries off.
John looks around the gateroom at a loss. He could find Ronon, who he knows is ready and raring to go; the guy has had the enthusiasm of a preschooler waiting for Christmas about Atlantis' departure from Earth. But John's excitement has died down a little without Rodney to fuel it. He sees Keller and a knot of a medical staff directing transport of a cluster of handtrucks to the infirmary. She looks rough, too, and John wonders just how bad the break up was. But he's not Keller's friend, and Rodney said she broke up with him and not the other way around, so John has no reason to talk to her about it.
Besides, he feels a strange sense of relief that he gets Rodney back now, which is a completely ridiculous way to feel and might make him a terrible person. It's selfish, but he's just spent close to a year on Earth doing next to nothing but build up a good head of resentment toward the woman his best friend had been wrapped up in for the duration.
He directs his feet to the mess. He'll be in the chair for hours soon, so now is the last chance he has to fuel up. He reaches for his ear to call Rodney on the radio, see if he wants anything, and thinks better of it. Beer on the pier once John's had a few days to figure out how he's supposed to be supportive without being glad Rodney is completely wrecked will have to do. For now he heads to the mess alone.
One Month Later
Rodney is depressed, according to the newest psychiatrist on staff. He thinks the shrink is right, but he's chosen to ignore that in favor of working through it. Things have been painfully awkward with Jennifer, and it seems to be getting more and more strained with Sheppard every day. It's all down to Rodney, and he knows it, and he hopes eventually things will just blow over and go back to normal. He's waiting for that to happen.
He doesn't know the psychiatrist's name, because psychology is not a real science and so Rodney had nothing to do with the selection of the man replacing Kate Heightmeyer. He doesn't have time to learn the name of every witch doctor on staff. He just goes to the appointments because everyone has to, in order to strive for a certain positive, healthy well adjusted attitude for the greater good of Atlantis. If he doesn't Woolsey gets that look on his face like he might enforce mandatory off-hours as punishment.
Also, Teyla has been insisting that Rodney talk to someone about his feelings, and he figures he can get away with sitting in the shrink's office saying next to nothing for an hour rather than doing the same with Teyla herself. Teyla is too omniscient and perceptive. He's in no mood for that lately.
The psychiatrist attempts an empathetic expression and leans forward, elbows resting on his desk. "I understand you were dating Dr. Keller until recently."
Rodney sighs. "Yes."
"But you're not together anymore?"
"No, and I don't want to talk about it." Rodney does his best not to throw the tablet he carried with him everywhere lately at the shrink's face. He has work to do in his lab, far away from this office, the infirmary, and anything relating to the epic disaster that is his former relationship with Jennifer Keller.
"It must be difficult, working so closely with an ex. Our situation is unique --"
"Yes, yes!" Rodney finally snaps, standing up from his chair. "It's difficult. We broke up and now every time I get hurt offworld, or more likely when one of my team mates gets themselves shot, I have to see my ex-girlfriend. It is less than ideal. But right now I have more important things to worry about, like the continued functioning of this city, so if you would excuse me --"
He's out the door and slamming it before the man can say anything else. Sheppard smirks at him from just outside the door. "Hungry?"
"You're a stalker," Rodney says, but he nods. "Starved."
"You're only ever in three places anymore," John says as they head toward the mess. "Here during your required mental health torture sessions, your lab, or asleep."
"I'm a busy man."
Sheppard shrugs. "Haven't seen you, is all."
Rodney stops walking and lets his frustration loose. "Look. My relationship ended, and it was probably my last chance at anything remotely resembling conventional happiness. I might have even gotten a few years of wedded bliss out of it, if it wasn't for --"
Sheppard stands there waiting for Rodney to finish his sentence, but gives in when Rodney keeps quiet. "Wasn't for what?"
Rodney deflates a little. "If it wasn't for the fact that I spend eighty percent of my waking hours working and, apparently, upwards of twenty percent of it with you. And the team. You, and Teyla and Ronon." Rodney feels a little breathless, telling Sheppard what Jennifer told him just before they got clearance to go back to Pegasus. Though she never actually mentioned Teyla or Ronon, just...
"Wait, you're saying --"
"She said she wasn't willing to rank last on my personal hierarchy of people of importance," Rodney says. "So we broke up."
"But that's not --"
"It is," Rodney says, and blurts out the rest without meaning to. "She was maybe fifth. She wasn't ever going to be the most important person, and we were never going to be the most important thing. Apparently, my priorities are... not amenable to that kind of relationship. So."
"Hey, Rodney, I'm sorry. You could have said something, we could've gotten out of the way, let you spend more time --"
"Sheppard. I don't want to talk about it." Rodney looks around and sees that most people are heading toward to mess for lunch, and he's so not in the mood to be around all of them. "I'm not really that hungry anymore."
Sheppard shrugs. "I'm not either. Wanna play Wii in my quarters instead?"
Rodney shakes his head. "No, no. I have a thousand things to do before dinner tonight. You should ask Ronon. I'll... see you later."
He beats a hasty retreat down the hall toward the transporter so he doesn't have to see the disappointment on Sheppard's face.
Two Weeks Later
"Rodney had lunch with you yesterday."
Teyla grunts, which could be an acknowledgment or simply due to the fact that she's in the process of delivering a particularly nasty blow to John's knees with her bantos rod.
"And --" John shuffles back, wincing at the sharp pain "-- Ronon got him to have dinner on Wednesday."
"Mmm." Teyla twirls her sticks and blows a stray hair out of her face. "Is this going somewhere, or are you simply buying time?"
"You're gonna kick my ass no matter what I do." John shrugs. "I'm just kind of... curious about this Rodney situation."
Teyla lowers the rods. "What situation?"
"He --" John lowers his own sticks and tosses them aside with a sigh. "This is going to sound kind of weird but... I think Rodney's avoiding me."
Teyla motions for John to take a seat to the side of the sparring area, where towels and bottles of water are laid out. John gulps down several swallows of water, waiting for Teyla to say something. "Teyla? I'm kind of waiting for you tell me what I'm missing here."
"John, why do you think Rodney is avoiding you?" She gives him her most patient-impatient look, the one that says she'll give him a chance to speak, but that what comes out of his mouth might lead to a major tail beating, or worse, one of her other looks. John is particularly vulnerable to the eyebrow-raise-head-tilt-frown.
"He's angry because it's my fault Keller dumped him," John says in a rush. "I mean, I thought he was pissed at all of us for taking up his time, but he's still talking to you guys so I'm pretty sure it's a me-thing."
"Rodney told you that you monopolize his time?"
"He said Keller didn't like that he spends so much time working or, you know, with us."
"Rodney rarely spends time with just Ronon or myself," Teyla says. "We have spent less time together as a team since we returned, but I'm sure that will change when we resume missions."
John rolls his eyes. "Right, and now he's going to the mess with you two but not with me -- so yeah, he's pissed. At me."
"I don't think so, John."
"But he said --"
"Rodney never said that he felt that you are the reason he and Jennifer parted ways. He told you that Jennifer felt uncomfortable about the amount of time Rodney spends with --" Teyla takes a moment to pause and give John a significant look "-- his team."
"I don't see the difference."
Teyla sighs and gets up off the floor. "Then think on it. Pick up your rods. We'll finish here, and then we can meditate to help you clarify your thoughts."
John decides to stop asking Teyla for advice on this one.
Two More Weeks Later
"Rodney?"
"Busy," Rodney murmurs, bent over a console in an offshoot lab they've been trying to get online for weeks. He looks up for just a second, sees John hovering in the doorway and looks back down again quickly. "What?"
"I think we should talk about things," John says, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "You know, just to... clarify."
"Clarify what?" Rodney burns himself on a nasty little crystal and jumps back, sucking on his fingers.
"The thing with Keller --"
"I really don't want to talk about that."
"But Rodney-- "
Rodney huffs, frustrated, and tosses down the Ancient screwdriver he's been working with. "Look. The thing with Keller didn't work because I might have some weird feelings toward certain people. People who are not Jennifer, or even female. Also, I work too much, I'm rude and childish, and I leave my coffee cups everywhere. These things combined to effectively end my relationship with Jennifer. I'm busy, I'm tired, and I --" Rodney stutters to a stop. "I just have a lot to do, a lot to think about. Are we done now?"
Sheppard crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows at Rodney in a very endearing way. "You... wait."
Rodney wants to close his eyes, review what he just said, then invent a way to go back in time and shut himself up. Instead he snaps, "I have work to do," and grabs up his screwdriver. He leans over the console and sets to ignoring Sheppard.
"What do you mean by not even female?"
Rodney snorts. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
Rodney doesn't hear Sheppard leave, but the next time he looks up he's alone in the lab.
A Week Later
Eventually the first contact team has to go through the gate. John has known for weeks now that their first mission back in the galaxy was coming up and that it would be difficult.
The mission itself is pretty low key. They step through the gate into spring sunshine and cool breezes, the uninhabited planet in full bloom around the DHD and over the surrounding hills. There is nothing to indicate human life, and sure enough Rodney starts muttering about signs of energy about two miles out; the database was right, this one will be smooth and they'll be back in Atlantis for dinner.
Except Ronon is clearly bored and short-fused today. John can't blame him, really. Ronon went on plenty of interesting missions with the gate teams on Earth and took up hardcore hiking around Cheyenne, but since the return home he's been stuck on Atlantis with nothing to do but beat the hell out of the new marines. John doesn't think Ronon wants to get shot at today, but he gets the impression that a little adrenaline would be welcome.
"Okay, buddy?" He nudges Ronon, who just grunts. Teyla meets John's eyes from Ronon's other side and smiles indulgently. He thinks they're on the same page -- smooth is good, it's relaxing. Maybe they're calming down in their old age as a team, Ronon still the hyper younger brother in their midst. John doesn't mind. This is nice. If only Rodney would speak to him.
John isn't so dense that he didn't start to figure things out after Rodney blurted out the "not even female" thing. For a brief period, he figured Rodney had a thing for Ronon, but when he quietly brought it up to Teyla, she actually hit him -- just on the shoulder, but hard -- and rolled her eyes at him. That had been disturbing, but also clear enough.
So Rodney maybe has a thing for John, which John has decided he isn't going to examine too closely. He just figures he'll wait it out. This is something he can handle, because he understands it. If he could get over the more-than-platonic feelings he's had for Rodney since the beginning of time, Rodney would get over it, too. John rationalized this all over the course of an evening, staring at his bedroom ceiling, bouncing a ball off the walls. Sure, Rodney's never been much of a self-denial guy, or even a hide-his-feelings guy. But they are best friends, and the risks involved in compromising that would extend into their professional lives and the safety of the city. So, Rodney will come to understand that and move on. John's sure of it.
Up ahead, Rodney starts waving his arms and making happy noises, and John calls out, "Find something good?"
Rodney turns from the base of a little hillock, grinning and for the first time in what seems forever, actually looks at John and says, "Oh, yeah."
Behind him, John hears a blast and a squeal. When he turns, Ronon is holding a dead rabbit-like thing and grinning. "I found something too."
"You shot something," Teyla comments blandly. "I suppose we can call this mission a success and return home."
"Hello!" Rodney shouts and snaps his fingers at all of them. "Discovery waits for no one!"
*
When they get back to Atlantis with a box full of Ancient goodies, including a quarter-charged ZPM and what John is pretty sure is a really cool universal remote, they're all a little punchy and over-excited. Woolsey gives them all slaps on the back except for Teyla, though she does slap Woolsey on the back before going off to find Torren, leaving Woolsey a little red-faced. Ronon grins at John and twirls his gun. "Target practice?"
John looks over at Rodney, who is still sort of smiling as he and Zelenka ooh and ahh over the box. He decides to take a chance and waves Ronon on, promising to catch him later for a run, and slips over to Rodney's side.
"You want to play with this, I suppose," Rodney says, teasing, holding up the possibly-maybe universal remote.
John grins because yes, he does, and Rodney is looking at him and talking to him, and it sounds just like it should, almost like the last three bizarre months never happened.
Rodney doesn't wait for John to say anything. He turns to Zelenka and says, "Take these to the lab. The ZPM is locked down in lab three, and we should be able to deal with it once Simpson finishes running the sims on possible new systems. I'll be in there in an hour or so."
Zelenka looks from John, to Rodney, and back. A look of pure relief washes over his face and he nods. "Yes, good. Very good."
Once Zelenka's gone with the box, Rodney turns and waves the remote under John's nose. "What should we test first?"
John doesn't bounce on his toes, but it's a near thing. "Little stuff, then the jumpers."
"You read my mind."
Three Weeks Later
The thing is, Rodney thinks, is that it's getting better. He accidentally fell down a hole on his last mission and ended up in the infirmary, right in front of Jennifer, who he thinks might be dating one of the new anthropologists, and it was okay. He even said hello to her, and she said hello back and smiled, and it was fine. Rodney didn't miss the look on her face when she walked by John, who was tossing playing cards into a bed pan while Rodney was having the dressings changed on the nasty gash across his left arm. He isn't sure what kind of look it was. It wasn't the look Teyla's been giving him lately, the one that meansGlad you're not being stupid anymore.
It's beyond Rodney's interpretive skills. When Jennifer had looked at him, toward the end of the most painful, protracted and awkward break-up conversation he had ever experienced, and said, "I can't compete with John Sheppard forever, Rodney," it had been like a slap in the face followed by a kick in the ass. One of those "Oh, that's how the world works," moments, when everything suddenly makes sense, or starts to.
At the time, he'd said, "Don't be ridiculous," which had started a new round of accusations and recriminations.
Now that he's had time to be extremely uncomfortable in his own skin, then just uncomfortable around his best friend, and now sort-of-kind-of willing to ignore the new awareness of his possible embarrassing crush on John Sheppard, Rodney sees her point.
When John springs him from the infirmary Rodney suggests a game of Wii golf in John's quarters, and John's eyes light up. They bump shoulders on the way out of the infirmary and Rodney looks over to see if John is weirded out that they're touching, but of course he wouldn't be, because he has no idea that Rodney has been actively trying not to touch him in any way that can be construed as inappropriate for weeks.
"Were you mad at me?" John asks as they round a corner toward his quarters.
"Mad at you for what?"
"The Keller thing. Did I... you know. Mess things up for you?"
Rodney shakes his head, "No, no. You didn't do anything. It was just. A thing, just a thing. Don't worry about it."
"Then, you were avoiding me for three months because... ?"
They're outside John's door now, so Rodney considers his options for a moment. He's about to open his mouth and claim he was just busy when he notices Sheppard's face. John's standing there, arms crossed the way they are when he's trying to keep absolutely still around skittish tribal councils, like he's nervous. Rodney thinks back to the night he blurted out the root of the problem to John, and wonders if John's figured it out.
Probably not. Sheppard sucks at that kind of thing.
"Well," Rodney says, at a loss.
"Rodney?" John shifts on his feet. "I just want to know if we're good. Are we good?"
"Yes," Rodney says decisively. "We're fine. Everything is fine, nothing is different. Yes."
John punches the lock on the door and backs into his quarters. "Okay. Good."
"Good. Yes." Rodney follows him in and gives himself a mental shake. Things are fine, and there really isn't any difference between now and before. He's just going to have to focus on that.
One Month Later
John gets an email from the SGC on a pseudo-Sunday. It's a mandatory rest day, but no one is really resting. He has chosen to spend his required day off catching up on the paperwork and correspondence he never does when he's actually working and there's a new crisis every ten minutes.
The email is pretty straightforward and dry. He knew this might happen; he saw the news while they were on Earth, and databursts bring in information every month. It's still surprising. It's just a brief email about adjustments to the uniform code, with attached PDF's of press releases and information on how to implement and handle the changes. John stares at the pages for several minutes before it dawns on him that he wants to go tell Rodney about it.
Rodney might not care. John could be completely wrong about Rodney thinking of him that way. He's always been bad at reading these things. But he likes to think he's gotten a clue on this one -- he's been paying attention. It still feels like he never saw it coming, that he couldn't have possibly known, but for over a month now he has made a habit out of watching Rodney for something, for signs. He's been slowly testing it out. Sitting closer to Rodney than is strictly necessary, hanging around the lab more than usual -- which amounts to a lot of time loitering around and getting in Zelenka's way -- and generally doing a clumsy job of making sure he's not wrong.
He's not. He can't be. If he is, this is going to suck. John realizes he's outside Rodney's lab and considers sprinting in the opposite direction before he screws everything up. He doesn't; he goes in. Rodney is working absently on a laptop with one hand, the other holding a sandwich. He looks up when John walks in and smiles.
"Oh hey," Rodney says. "There's a turkey on wheat in the mini-fridge for you."
"Oh, awesome," John says and goes to retrieve it. This is evidence that this will go well, he thinks. Rodney got him a sandwich, which is practically roses and chocolate in the world of McKay.
This is the way things are going lately. A little more comfortable even than they were before Earth and Keller and the weirdness. Like they've settled into the half-formed knowledge that there's something more going on between them, and they're falling all over themselves to do something about it without doing something about it. John has been fine with the state of things -- more than fine. It's been nice.
"Today's fake Sunday, you know," he says, taking his sandwich and sitting across from Rodney. He tries to come up with a way to bring regs into the conversation and can't get past the knot of apprehension in his belly.
"This is a personal project, I'll have you know." Rodney gestures at his laptop with his sandwich. "I never have time to play with it. This is fun for me."
"Mmm," John says around a mouthful of perfect turkey sandwich.
"Besides, don't think I don't know you spent the morning catching up on the paperwork Lorne refuses to do for you."
John almost chokes on his sandwich because he's an idiot, and of course Rodney would have had an email about the uniform code. He's senior staff and gets the same information John does. He probably already knows, and isn't saying anything because John really does have the situation figured all wrong.
"I, on the other hand," Rodney continues, oblivious to John's near-choking, "refuse to deal with paperwork or email today. The idiots surrounding me will just have to wait for their dotted i's and crossed t's. It's Sunday."
John swallows. "You haven't checked your email at all today?"
"Says the man who checks email once every two full moons," Rodney grouses.
Before John can work up any sort of nerve to open his mouth and say something about what he saw in his inbox that morning, their coms go off, and it's Lorne shouting about a leak in the desalinization systems and really big squid.
"But it's Sunday!" Rodney whines even as he puts down his sandwich and grabs a sidearm out of a drawer under the table. John looks pointedly at the gun. "What? They could be killer alien squid!"
"You keep a gun in the lab?"
"It's for emergencies!" Rodney insists as they head out. "And threatening the peons!"
John shakes his head, laughs, and slaps Rodney on the back as they go off to face the danger.
*
John reeks of fish and his boots squish with squid guts.
"I had to shoot it," Ronon tells him while they're getting out of their sodden shoes. "It was after Teyla, you just didn't see it."
"I think you're getting a little stir crazy," John mutters.
"Things are quiet," Ronon says in agreement. "Not so bad, just boring. Amelia comes back on the next Daedalus trip."
"Ah," John says. "Then you'll stop shooting things just for fun?"
"Maybe," Ronon replies with a grin. He flips his soaked dreads over his shoulder, catching John with a spray of sea water. "Sorry. Gotta go get clean. Gonna go see McKay?"
"Yeah, soon as I get dry socks on." John tosses a wet sock at Ronon's head and misses.
Once he has warm, dry feet, John makes his way to the infirmary. Rodney is sitting on a bed with the curtains open, a bandaid on his arm and a lollipop in his mouth.
"Oh hey," he says when he catches sight of John. "One of the nurses gave me candy for being brave."
"Or to shut him up," John hears grumbled from somewhere behind him. He stifles a grin.
"Rash all taken care of?" He asks.
Rodney nods. "Who knew I was allergic to alien squid slime? They gave me a shot of benadryl. God, you smell terrible."
"Yeah well, you're no bouquet of roses either. You ready to get out of here?"
"Very much so," Rodney says, and gets off the bed.
They run into Keller on their way out. She looks from one of them to the other, seems to consider something and dismiss it before she pastes on a smile and says "Come to discharge our patient, Colonel?"
"He told me he could go," John says quickly, shooting Rodney an accusatory look.
"I can go! " Rodney waves his lollipop around. "I'm fine!"
"Uh huh." Keller cocks an eyebrow. "Back tomorrow for bloodwork, Rodney."
"Yes, yes." Rodney waves at her and she steps aside to let them pass.
"That was pleasant," John says as they head toward quarters.
Rodney shrugs. "I guess so."
"You guys are friendly then?"
"Whatever," Rodney mumbles. "Sure, why not."
They part ways at Rodney's door so they can both de-fish themselves. Before he leaves for his own quarters, John hesitates. "Hey Rodney?"
"Yes, what?" Rodney pauses, one foot already off the ground so he can untie the water-logged knots in his shoelaces.
"Check your email before you go to sleep."
"It's Sunday!"
"Just do it." John shrugs, then turns and heads down the hall.
One Day Later
Rodney is at John's door the next morning bright and early, when he knows Sheppard will be just heading out for his morning run with Ronon. When the door slides open, John, dressed in shorts and running shoes, startles at Rodney's presence directly outside it.
"Why did you tell me to check my email?" Rodney demands, holding up the printouts he's been clutching while he's been standing there like an idiot. "Is it this?"
"Is that the new uniform code?" John asks, obtuse and blank.
"Yes," Rodney hisses. "What does this mean?"
John's face shuts down even more. "I'm sure there'll be a discussion about it at the staff meeting today."
"Shut up," Rodney snaps. "You -- do you --"
"What, Rodney?"
"Do you like me?" Rodney blurts, then snaps his mouth shut. "Oh, god, that sounded --"
"Yes." John says. "I mean, I did. I do, but I've been..."
Rodney watches in amazement as John waves a hand at the papers Rodney's holding and the hallway around them, as if to communicate something about the uniform code, the city, and Rodney all at once.
Oh.
"My girlfriend dumped me because she though I was in love with you," Rodney says, not meaning it to come out like an accusation, but knowing it sounds like that anyway.
"I can't really help that, Rodney."
"Well, what if I am?"
Sheppard half-smiles, then stifles it, his face straightening out again. "Rodney. I'm not trying to push you into something, I just --"
"You're just incapable of talking about feelings so you figured you'd let Congress tell me that you like-like me instead," Rodney finishes for him.
"Pretty much," John agrees and now he smiles for real.
Rodney waves the papers at him, trying to figure out what he wants to say. What he says is, "Fuck it," and then he throws the papers down and pushes John backwards into his quarters. "You're going to miss your run. Sorry."
"That's okay," John says in a rush, and then they're kissing.
Ronon shows up approximately fifteen seconds later. John answers the door with wet, reddened lips and says he's not feeling well. When he comes back he kisses Rodney again, and Rodney thinks it's better than a quarter-charged ZPM.
"Is this better than an Ancient universal remote?" he asks when they come up for air.
"I mean...yeah," John says, like it's obvious.
"Just checking," Rodney says, then twists his fingers in the collar of John's t-shirt to pull him forward.
Author: meansgirl
Recipient: moonlettuce
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I am just borrowing them for fun.
Author's Notes: Huge thanks to busaikko, who acted as beta and did wonderful things with commas. Any mistakes remaining are my own.
Summary: Post-season 5. Atlantis returns to Pegasus, but all is not well with John and Rodney.
Still On Earth
Atlantis is buzzing in more ways than one the day they're scheduled to lift off and take her home to Pegasus. John weaves through a sea of crates and hand trolleys in the gate room to get to where Rodney is running last checks on their systems.
"One more hour," John says, relishing the thrill it gives him to say that, finally. "We ready?"
"Yeah, just about." Rodney taps a few keys and looks up. He looks like hell.
"Jesus, Rodney, you look like death warmed over."
"Long night," Rodney says. He rubs a hand over his face. "I'll sleep when we've landed."
"I thought you took last night off to -- oh. Never mind, say no more." John rocks back, feeling awkward, and mentally wills Rodney not to tell him anything about his "long night" with Keller.
But Rodney sighs and looks down at his laptop. John knows he's not really seeing anything on the screen, because Rodney doesn't have his thinking face on, or even his reading the numbers just to read the numbers face. He just looks blank and lost, and very tired.
"Hey," John says, feeling like maybe he ought to put a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Everything okay?"
"Jennifer broke up with me," Rodney says shortly, looking up from the laptop again. "It's over."
"Oh." John knows he should be doing the shoulder-pat thing but his arm just isn't doing the work for him. "That's... kind of surprising."
"Not really." Rodney starts closing down his laptop. "She was too young for me, you know. It was borderline inappropriate. She's... whatever. I really need to go run a last check on the ZPMs before we lift off."
John steps out of Rodney's way as he unplugs cables and tosses things in a shoulder bag. "Okay. Um. Beer on the pier as soon as things calm down, okay?"
"Sure," Rodney mutters. "Fine."
"Rodney."
Rodney stills long enough for John to duck his head and catch Rodney's eyes.
"I'm really sorry."
"Thanks," Rodney says, and hurries off.
John looks around the gateroom at a loss. He could find Ronon, who he knows is ready and raring to go; the guy has had the enthusiasm of a preschooler waiting for Christmas about Atlantis' departure from Earth. But John's excitement has died down a little without Rodney to fuel it. He sees Keller and a knot of a medical staff directing transport of a cluster of handtrucks to the infirmary. She looks rough, too, and John wonders just how bad the break up was. But he's not Keller's friend, and Rodney said she broke up with him and not the other way around, so John has no reason to talk to her about it.
Besides, he feels a strange sense of relief that he gets Rodney back now, which is a completely ridiculous way to feel and might make him a terrible person. It's selfish, but he's just spent close to a year on Earth doing next to nothing but build up a good head of resentment toward the woman his best friend had been wrapped up in for the duration.
He directs his feet to the mess. He'll be in the chair for hours soon, so now is the last chance he has to fuel up. He reaches for his ear to call Rodney on the radio, see if he wants anything, and thinks better of it. Beer on the pier once John's had a few days to figure out how he's supposed to be supportive without being glad Rodney is completely wrecked will have to do. For now he heads to the mess alone.
One Month Later
Rodney is depressed, according to the newest psychiatrist on staff. He thinks the shrink is right, but he's chosen to ignore that in favor of working through it. Things have been painfully awkward with Jennifer, and it seems to be getting more and more strained with Sheppard every day. It's all down to Rodney, and he knows it, and he hopes eventually things will just blow over and go back to normal. He's waiting for that to happen.
He doesn't know the psychiatrist's name, because psychology is not a real science and so Rodney had nothing to do with the selection of the man replacing Kate Heightmeyer. He doesn't have time to learn the name of every witch doctor on staff. He just goes to the appointments because everyone has to, in order to strive for a certain positive, healthy well adjusted attitude for the greater good of Atlantis. If he doesn't Woolsey gets that look on his face like he might enforce mandatory off-hours as punishment.
Also, Teyla has been insisting that Rodney talk to someone about his feelings, and he figures he can get away with sitting in the shrink's office saying next to nothing for an hour rather than doing the same with Teyla herself. Teyla is too omniscient and perceptive. He's in no mood for that lately.
The psychiatrist attempts an empathetic expression and leans forward, elbows resting on his desk. "I understand you were dating Dr. Keller until recently."
Rodney sighs. "Yes."
"But you're not together anymore?"
"No, and I don't want to talk about it." Rodney does his best not to throw the tablet he carried with him everywhere lately at the shrink's face. He has work to do in his lab, far away from this office, the infirmary, and anything relating to the epic disaster that is his former relationship with Jennifer Keller.
"It must be difficult, working so closely with an ex. Our situation is unique --"
"Yes, yes!" Rodney finally snaps, standing up from his chair. "It's difficult. We broke up and now every time I get hurt offworld, or more likely when one of my team mates gets themselves shot, I have to see my ex-girlfriend. It is less than ideal. But right now I have more important things to worry about, like the continued functioning of this city, so if you would excuse me --"
He's out the door and slamming it before the man can say anything else. Sheppard smirks at him from just outside the door. "Hungry?"
"You're a stalker," Rodney says, but he nods. "Starved."
"You're only ever in three places anymore," John says as they head toward the mess. "Here during your required mental health torture sessions, your lab, or asleep."
"I'm a busy man."
Sheppard shrugs. "Haven't seen you, is all."
Rodney stops walking and lets his frustration loose. "Look. My relationship ended, and it was probably my last chance at anything remotely resembling conventional happiness. I might have even gotten a few years of wedded bliss out of it, if it wasn't for --"
Sheppard stands there waiting for Rodney to finish his sentence, but gives in when Rodney keeps quiet. "Wasn't for what?"
Rodney deflates a little. "If it wasn't for the fact that I spend eighty percent of my waking hours working and, apparently, upwards of twenty percent of it with you. And the team. You, and Teyla and Ronon." Rodney feels a little breathless, telling Sheppard what Jennifer told him just before they got clearance to go back to Pegasus. Though she never actually mentioned Teyla or Ronon, just...
"Wait, you're saying --"
"She said she wasn't willing to rank last on my personal hierarchy of people of importance," Rodney says. "So we broke up."
"But that's not --"
"It is," Rodney says, and blurts out the rest without meaning to. "She was maybe fifth. She wasn't ever going to be the most important person, and we were never going to be the most important thing. Apparently, my priorities are... not amenable to that kind of relationship. So."
"Hey, Rodney, I'm sorry. You could have said something, we could've gotten out of the way, let you spend more time --"
"Sheppard. I don't want to talk about it." Rodney looks around and sees that most people are heading toward to mess for lunch, and he's so not in the mood to be around all of them. "I'm not really that hungry anymore."
Sheppard shrugs. "I'm not either. Wanna play Wii in my quarters instead?"
Rodney shakes his head. "No, no. I have a thousand things to do before dinner tonight. You should ask Ronon. I'll... see you later."
He beats a hasty retreat down the hall toward the transporter so he doesn't have to see the disappointment on Sheppard's face.
Two Weeks Later
"Rodney had lunch with you yesterday."
Teyla grunts, which could be an acknowledgment or simply due to the fact that she's in the process of delivering a particularly nasty blow to John's knees with her bantos rod.
"And --" John shuffles back, wincing at the sharp pain "-- Ronon got him to have dinner on Wednesday."
"Mmm." Teyla twirls her sticks and blows a stray hair out of her face. "Is this going somewhere, or are you simply buying time?"
"You're gonna kick my ass no matter what I do." John shrugs. "I'm just kind of... curious about this Rodney situation."
Teyla lowers the rods. "What situation?"
"He --" John lowers his own sticks and tosses them aside with a sigh. "This is going to sound kind of weird but... I think Rodney's avoiding me."
Teyla motions for John to take a seat to the side of the sparring area, where towels and bottles of water are laid out. John gulps down several swallows of water, waiting for Teyla to say something. "Teyla? I'm kind of waiting for you tell me what I'm missing here."
"John, why do you think Rodney is avoiding you?" She gives him her most patient-impatient look, the one that says she'll give him a chance to speak, but that what comes out of his mouth might lead to a major tail beating, or worse, one of her other looks. John is particularly vulnerable to the eyebrow-raise-head-tilt-frown.
"He's angry because it's my fault Keller dumped him," John says in a rush. "I mean, I thought he was pissed at all of us for taking up his time, but he's still talking to you guys so I'm pretty sure it's a me-thing."
"Rodney told you that you monopolize his time?"
"He said Keller didn't like that he spends so much time working or, you know, with us."
"Rodney rarely spends time with just Ronon or myself," Teyla says. "We have spent less time together as a team since we returned, but I'm sure that will change when we resume missions."
John rolls his eyes. "Right, and now he's going to the mess with you two but not with me -- so yeah, he's pissed. At me."
"I don't think so, John."
"But he said --"
"Rodney never said that he felt that you are the reason he and Jennifer parted ways. He told you that Jennifer felt uncomfortable about the amount of time Rodney spends with --" Teyla takes a moment to pause and give John a significant look "-- his team."
"I don't see the difference."
Teyla sighs and gets up off the floor. "Then think on it. Pick up your rods. We'll finish here, and then we can meditate to help you clarify your thoughts."
John decides to stop asking Teyla for advice on this one.
Two More Weeks Later
"Rodney?"
"Busy," Rodney murmurs, bent over a console in an offshoot lab they've been trying to get online for weeks. He looks up for just a second, sees John hovering in the doorway and looks back down again quickly. "What?"
"I think we should talk about things," John says, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "You know, just to... clarify."
"Clarify what?" Rodney burns himself on a nasty little crystal and jumps back, sucking on his fingers.
"The thing with Keller --"
"I really don't want to talk about that."
"But Rodney-- "
Rodney huffs, frustrated, and tosses down the Ancient screwdriver he's been working with. "Look. The thing with Keller didn't work because I might have some weird feelings toward certain people. People who are not Jennifer, or even female. Also, I work too much, I'm rude and childish, and I leave my coffee cups everywhere. These things combined to effectively end my relationship with Jennifer. I'm busy, I'm tired, and I --" Rodney stutters to a stop. "I just have a lot to do, a lot to think about. Are we done now?"
Sheppard crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows at Rodney in a very endearing way. "You... wait."
Rodney wants to close his eyes, review what he just said, then invent a way to go back in time and shut himself up. Instead he snaps, "I have work to do," and grabs up his screwdriver. He leans over the console and sets to ignoring Sheppard.
"What do you mean by not even female?"
Rodney snorts. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
Rodney doesn't hear Sheppard leave, but the next time he looks up he's alone in the lab.
A Week Later
Eventually the first contact team has to go through the gate. John has known for weeks now that their first mission back in the galaxy was coming up and that it would be difficult.
The mission itself is pretty low key. They step through the gate into spring sunshine and cool breezes, the uninhabited planet in full bloom around the DHD and over the surrounding hills. There is nothing to indicate human life, and sure enough Rodney starts muttering about signs of energy about two miles out; the database was right, this one will be smooth and they'll be back in Atlantis for dinner.
Except Ronon is clearly bored and short-fused today. John can't blame him, really. Ronon went on plenty of interesting missions with the gate teams on Earth and took up hardcore hiking around Cheyenne, but since the return home he's been stuck on Atlantis with nothing to do but beat the hell out of the new marines. John doesn't think Ronon wants to get shot at today, but he gets the impression that a little adrenaline would be welcome.
"Okay, buddy?" He nudges Ronon, who just grunts. Teyla meets John's eyes from Ronon's other side and smiles indulgently. He thinks they're on the same page -- smooth is good, it's relaxing. Maybe they're calming down in their old age as a team, Ronon still the hyper younger brother in their midst. John doesn't mind. This is nice. If only Rodney would speak to him.
John isn't so dense that he didn't start to figure things out after Rodney blurted out the "not even female" thing. For a brief period, he figured Rodney had a thing for Ronon, but when he quietly brought it up to Teyla, she actually hit him -- just on the shoulder, but hard -- and rolled her eyes at him. That had been disturbing, but also clear enough.
So Rodney maybe has a thing for John, which John has decided he isn't going to examine too closely. He just figures he'll wait it out. This is something he can handle, because he understands it. If he could get over the more-than-platonic feelings he's had for Rodney since the beginning of time, Rodney would get over it, too. John rationalized this all over the course of an evening, staring at his bedroom ceiling, bouncing a ball off the walls. Sure, Rodney's never been much of a self-denial guy, or even a hide-his-feelings guy. But they are best friends, and the risks involved in compromising that would extend into their professional lives and the safety of the city. So, Rodney will come to understand that and move on. John's sure of it.
Up ahead, Rodney starts waving his arms and making happy noises, and John calls out, "Find something good?"
Rodney turns from the base of a little hillock, grinning and for the first time in what seems forever, actually looks at John and says, "Oh, yeah."
Behind him, John hears a blast and a squeal. When he turns, Ronon is holding a dead rabbit-like thing and grinning. "I found something too."
"You shot something," Teyla comments blandly. "I suppose we can call this mission a success and return home."
"Hello!" Rodney shouts and snaps his fingers at all of them. "Discovery waits for no one!"
*
When they get back to Atlantis with a box full of Ancient goodies, including a quarter-charged ZPM and what John is pretty sure is a really cool universal remote, they're all a little punchy and over-excited. Woolsey gives them all slaps on the back except for Teyla, though she does slap Woolsey on the back before going off to find Torren, leaving Woolsey a little red-faced. Ronon grins at John and twirls his gun. "Target practice?"
John looks over at Rodney, who is still sort of smiling as he and Zelenka ooh and ahh over the box. He decides to take a chance and waves Ronon on, promising to catch him later for a run, and slips over to Rodney's side.
"You want to play with this, I suppose," Rodney says, teasing, holding up the possibly-maybe universal remote.
John grins because yes, he does, and Rodney is looking at him and talking to him, and it sounds just like it should, almost like the last three bizarre months never happened.
Rodney doesn't wait for John to say anything. He turns to Zelenka and says, "Take these to the lab. The ZPM is locked down in lab three, and we should be able to deal with it once Simpson finishes running the sims on possible new systems. I'll be in there in an hour or so."
Zelenka looks from John, to Rodney, and back. A look of pure relief washes over his face and he nods. "Yes, good. Very good."
Once Zelenka's gone with the box, Rodney turns and waves the remote under John's nose. "What should we test first?"
John doesn't bounce on his toes, but it's a near thing. "Little stuff, then the jumpers."
"You read my mind."
Three Weeks Later
The thing is, Rodney thinks, is that it's getting better. He accidentally fell down a hole on his last mission and ended up in the infirmary, right in front of Jennifer, who he thinks might be dating one of the new anthropologists, and it was okay. He even said hello to her, and she said hello back and smiled, and it was fine. Rodney didn't miss the look on her face when she walked by John, who was tossing playing cards into a bed pan while Rodney was having the dressings changed on the nasty gash across his left arm. He isn't sure what kind of look it was. It wasn't the look Teyla's been giving him lately, the one that meansGlad you're not being stupid anymore.
It's beyond Rodney's interpretive skills. When Jennifer had looked at him, toward the end of the most painful, protracted and awkward break-up conversation he had ever experienced, and said, "I can't compete with John Sheppard forever, Rodney," it had been like a slap in the face followed by a kick in the ass. One of those "Oh, that's how the world works," moments, when everything suddenly makes sense, or starts to.
At the time, he'd said, "Don't be ridiculous," which had started a new round of accusations and recriminations.
Now that he's had time to be extremely uncomfortable in his own skin, then just uncomfortable around his best friend, and now sort-of-kind-of willing to ignore the new awareness of his possible embarrassing crush on John Sheppard, Rodney sees her point.
When John springs him from the infirmary Rodney suggests a game of Wii golf in John's quarters, and John's eyes light up. They bump shoulders on the way out of the infirmary and Rodney looks over to see if John is weirded out that they're touching, but of course he wouldn't be, because he has no idea that Rodney has been actively trying not to touch him in any way that can be construed as inappropriate for weeks.
"Were you mad at me?" John asks as they round a corner toward his quarters.
"Mad at you for what?"
"The Keller thing. Did I... you know. Mess things up for you?"
Rodney shakes his head, "No, no. You didn't do anything. It was just. A thing, just a thing. Don't worry about it."
"Then, you were avoiding me for three months because... ?"
They're outside John's door now, so Rodney considers his options for a moment. He's about to open his mouth and claim he was just busy when he notices Sheppard's face. John's standing there, arms crossed the way they are when he's trying to keep absolutely still around skittish tribal councils, like he's nervous. Rodney thinks back to the night he blurted out the root of the problem to John, and wonders if John's figured it out.
Probably not. Sheppard sucks at that kind of thing.
"Well," Rodney says, at a loss.
"Rodney?" John shifts on his feet. "I just want to know if we're good. Are we good?"
"Yes," Rodney says decisively. "We're fine. Everything is fine, nothing is different. Yes."
John punches the lock on the door and backs into his quarters. "Okay. Good."
"Good. Yes." Rodney follows him in and gives himself a mental shake. Things are fine, and there really isn't any difference between now and before. He's just going to have to focus on that.
One Month Later
John gets an email from the SGC on a pseudo-Sunday. It's a mandatory rest day, but no one is really resting. He has chosen to spend his required day off catching up on the paperwork and correspondence he never does when he's actually working and there's a new crisis every ten minutes.
The email is pretty straightforward and dry. He knew this might happen; he saw the news while they were on Earth, and databursts bring in information every month. It's still surprising. It's just a brief email about adjustments to the uniform code, with attached PDF's of press releases and information on how to implement and handle the changes. John stares at the pages for several minutes before it dawns on him that he wants to go tell Rodney about it.
Rodney might not care. John could be completely wrong about Rodney thinking of him that way. He's always been bad at reading these things. But he likes to think he's gotten a clue on this one -- he's been paying attention. It still feels like he never saw it coming, that he couldn't have possibly known, but for over a month now he has made a habit out of watching Rodney for something, for signs. He's been slowly testing it out. Sitting closer to Rodney than is strictly necessary, hanging around the lab more than usual -- which amounts to a lot of time loitering around and getting in Zelenka's way -- and generally doing a clumsy job of making sure he's not wrong.
He's not. He can't be. If he is, this is going to suck. John realizes he's outside Rodney's lab and considers sprinting in the opposite direction before he screws everything up. He doesn't; he goes in. Rodney is working absently on a laptop with one hand, the other holding a sandwich. He looks up when John walks in and smiles.
"Oh hey," Rodney says. "There's a turkey on wheat in the mini-fridge for you."
"Oh, awesome," John says and goes to retrieve it. This is evidence that this will go well, he thinks. Rodney got him a sandwich, which is practically roses and chocolate in the world of McKay.
This is the way things are going lately. A little more comfortable even than they were before Earth and Keller and the weirdness. Like they've settled into the half-formed knowledge that there's something more going on between them, and they're falling all over themselves to do something about it without doing something about it. John has been fine with the state of things -- more than fine. It's been nice.
"Today's fake Sunday, you know," he says, taking his sandwich and sitting across from Rodney. He tries to come up with a way to bring regs into the conversation and can't get past the knot of apprehension in his belly.
"This is a personal project, I'll have you know." Rodney gestures at his laptop with his sandwich. "I never have time to play with it. This is fun for me."
"Mmm," John says around a mouthful of perfect turkey sandwich.
"Besides, don't think I don't know you spent the morning catching up on the paperwork Lorne refuses to do for you."
John almost chokes on his sandwich because he's an idiot, and of course Rodney would have had an email about the uniform code. He's senior staff and gets the same information John does. He probably already knows, and isn't saying anything because John really does have the situation figured all wrong.
"I, on the other hand," Rodney continues, oblivious to John's near-choking, "refuse to deal with paperwork or email today. The idiots surrounding me will just have to wait for their dotted i's and crossed t's. It's Sunday."
John swallows. "You haven't checked your email at all today?"
"Says the man who checks email once every two full moons," Rodney grouses.
Before John can work up any sort of nerve to open his mouth and say something about what he saw in his inbox that morning, their coms go off, and it's Lorne shouting about a leak in the desalinization systems and really big squid.
"But it's Sunday!" Rodney whines even as he puts down his sandwich and grabs a sidearm out of a drawer under the table. John looks pointedly at the gun. "What? They could be killer alien squid!"
"You keep a gun in the lab?"
"It's for emergencies!" Rodney insists as they head out. "And threatening the peons!"
John shakes his head, laughs, and slaps Rodney on the back as they go off to face the danger.
*
John reeks of fish and his boots squish with squid guts.
"I had to shoot it," Ronon tells him while they're getting out of their sodden shoes. "It was after Teyla, you just didn't see it."
"I think you're getting a little stir crazy," John mutters.
"Things are quiet," Ronon says in agreement. "Not so bad, just boring. Amelia comes back on the next Daedalus trip."
"Ah," John says. "Then you'll stop shooting things just for fun?"
"Maybe," Ronon replies with a grin. He flips his soaked dreads over his shoulder, catching John with a spray of sea water. "Sorry. Gotta go get clean. Gonna go see McKay?"
"Yeah, soon as I get dry socks on." John tosses a wet sock at Ronon's head and misses.
Once he has warm, dry feet, John makes his way to the infirmary. Rodney is sitting on a bed with the curtains open, a bandaid on his arm and a lollipop in his mouth.
"Oh hey," he says when he catches sight of John. "One of the nurses gave me candy for being brave."
"Or to shut him up," John hears grumbled from somewhere behind him. He stifles a grin.
"Rash all taken care of?" He asks.
Rodney nods. "Who knew I was allergic to alien squid slime? They gave me a shot of benadryl. God, you smell terrible."
"Yeah well, you're no bouquet of roses either. You ready to get out of here?"
"Very much so," Rodney says, and gets off the bed.
They run into Keller on their way out. She looks from one of them to the other, seems to consider something and dismiss it before she pastes on a smile and says "Come to discharge our patient, Colonel?"
"He told me he could go," John says quickly, shooting Rodney an accusatory look.
"I can go! " Rodney waves his lollipop around. "I'm fine!"
"Uh huh." Keller cocks an eyebrow. "Back tomorrow for bloodwork, Rodney."
"Yes, yes." Rodney waves at her and she steps aside to let them pass.
"That was pleasant," John says as they head toward quarters.
Rodney shrugs. "I guess so."
"You guys are friendly then?"
"Whatever," Rodney mumbles. "Sure, why not."
They part ways at Rodney's door so they can both de-fish themselves. Before he leaves for his own quarters, John hesitates. "Hey Rodney?"
"Yes, what?" Rodney pauses, one foot already off the ground so he can untie the water-logged knots in his shoelaces.
"Check your email before you go to sleep."
"It's Sunday!"
"Just do it." John shrugs, then turns and heads down the hall.
One Day Later
Rodney is at John's door the next morning bright and early, when he knows Sheppard will be just heading out for his morning run with Ronon. When the door slides open, John, dressed in shorts and running shoes, startles at Rodney's presence directly outside it.
"Why did you tell me to check my email?" Rodney demands, holding up the printouts he's been clutching while he's been standing there like an idiot. "Is it this?"
"Is that the new uniform code?" John asks, obtuse and blank.
"Yes," Rodney hisses. "What does this mean?"
John's face shuts down even more. "I'm sure there'll be a discussion about it at the staff meeting today."
"Shut up," Rodney snaps. "You -- do you --"
"What, Rodney?"
"Do you like me?" Rodney blurts, then snaps his mouth shut. "Oh, god, that sounded --"
"Yes." John says. "I mean, I did. I do, but I've been..."
Rodney watches in amazement as John waves a hand at the papers Rodney's holding and the hallway around them, as if to communicate something about the uniform code, the city, and Rodney all at once.
Oh.
"My girlfriend dumped me because she though I was in love with you," Rodney says, not meaning it to come out like an accusation, but knowing it sounds like that anyway.
"I can't really help that, Rodney."
"Well, what if I am?"
Sheppard half-smiles, then stifles it, his face straightening out again. "Rodney. I'm not trying to push you into something, I just --"
"You're just incapable of talking about feelings so you figured you'd let Congress tell me that you like-like me instead," Rodney finishes for him.
"Pretty much," John agrees and now he smiles for real.
Rodney waves the papers at him, trying to figure out what he wants to say. What he says is, "Fuck it," and then he throws the papers down and pushes John backwards into his quarters. "You're going to miss your run. Sorry."
"That's okay," John says in a rush, and then they're kissing.
Ronon shows up approximately fifteen seconds later. John answers the door with wet, reddened lips and says he's not feeling well. When he comes back he kisses Rodney again, and Rodney thinks it's better than a quarter-charged ZPM.
"Is this better than an Ancient universal remote?" he asks when they come up for air.
"I mean...yeah," John says, like it's obvious.
"Just checking," Rodney says, then twists his fingers in the collar of John's t-shirt to pull him forward.