Fic: Buttons and Blueberries (Gen)
Title: Buttons and Blueberries
Author: roguish_angel
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG-13 for Czech swear words
Recipient: iheartkeys
Summary: “Swear to god McKay, you press the wrong button and we die, I’m going to kick your ass”
Spoilers: Only slight season 4 ones for characters
Disclaimers: Don’t own. Don’t sue.
Buttons and Blueberries
“No, not that one Rodney.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“OK, your funeral….”
“I really think you should listen to Radek Rodney”
“I told you I know what I’m doing!”
“Swear to God McKay, you press the wrong button and we die, I’m going to kick your ass”
“How do you propose to do that if you’re dead? Besides which, I know what I’m doing!”
“Rodney, from my calculations, I’m 99% certain it’s not that one!”
“Don’t screw up McKay, I’m hungry”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence Conon, I know what I’m doing!”
As the entire room plunged into darkness, Sam’s voice came over the radio.
“How’s it going?” her voice floated around the darkness.
“If I could see you Rodney, you’d be in pain,” came John’s voice.
“What…” said Sam’s voice.
“It does not appear to be going very well,” Teyla answered.
“Nothing seems to be appearing,” muttered Radek.
“OK, so I’m not right 100% of the time, but no one else would have been able to get us this far?” an agitated Rodney spluttered.
“Dr Zelenka advised you not to press that button,” Teyla pointed out.
There was silence from Rodney’s corner of the room.
“Does anyone have anything to eat?” asked Ronon.
Samantha Carter stood in the middle of the control room and rubbing her temples, trying to remember how on earth most of the top members of this expedition ended up locked in an abandoned lab, and now, in complete darkness.
6 hours earlier
“It’s located on the western side of the city, Major Lorne’s team discovered during the last round of city repairs,” explained John.
“So why are we just talking about this now?” Sam asked.
“Well because before the lab wasn’t emitting energy similar to that of a ZPM, that’s why!” Rodney’s tone was becoming increasingly frustrated.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to go down there Rodney,” Sam turned to John “Didn’t the report come back that that section of the city was still unstable?”
John nodded.
“Unstable as in ‘will fall down soon as we step foot into the place’ or unstable as in ‘dark, dank and all together not that nice’?” Rodney asked.
“What? Somewhere in between I guess,” frowned John. He wasn’t sure who this imposter was but he was sure that this couldn’t be the real Rodney. Arguing to go somewhere that had been deemed unsafe? Definitely not Rodney McKay.
“Look, this lab is giving off energy readings similar to that of a ZPM. Do either of you have the slightest notion of what this could mean? There could be ZPM’s down there! It could be a ZPM making lab!”
Sam was slightly disconcerted by the look of glee that was beginning to spread across Rodney’s face with the last thought he had voiced.
“I understand the potential of the lab Rodney...” Sam began.
“Ok, fantastic, everyone gear up and we’re off” Rodney said as he walked out of her office.
John turned to Sam “Is it just me or was that not Rodney?”
Sam smiled, “I know it might be risky John but Rodney is right. If that lab is where the Ancients made their ZPM’s or even if it’s just a place they did research on them then there’s so much we could gain from it. We’re running low and the Wraith and the Asurans aren’t going to entertain each other for ever.”
Teyla sighed and turned to feel the way down the wall to sit as the bickering began. She knew that there was at least half an hour of arguing to go until any progress of getting out of the dark, smelly and wet room.
“I told you NOT to press that button, but oh no as usual, you do not listen to anything anyone else has to say! Oh no you just have to do everything your own way...” Radek was saying.
“Hey! We’re not dead! The lab didn’t collapse and as far as I can tell no one’s hurt so...” Rodney argued back.
“I’m hungry” came Ronon’s voice
Suddenly a stream of light lit the room
“Enough!” bellowed John “Ok, Rodney, Zelenka... fix this so we can get the hell out of here. Ronon, eat this and shut up.”
“Fine,” muttered Rodney
“Ty debile zasranej...” muttered Radek
“I don’t like blueberry,” said Ronon
Teyla sighed.
John resisted the urge to bash his forehead into the wall.
6 hours later
Sam was trying her hardest not to giggle as she looked around the conference table.
Rodney and Radek were sitting as far away from each other as possible and alternately muttering under their breaths. Sam made a mental note to take Radek aside later and explain to him that she knew what ‘Tlustoprd ’ meant.
Ronon was sitting to Rodney’s side with the biggest plate of mashed potato and gravy Sam had ever seen. He was tucking it away like there was no tomorrow and every now and then, in possibly the funniest thing she’s ever seen, would shudder and say ‘Blueberries ’. Sam made another mental note to ask Dr Keller if Ronon was allergic to blueberries.
John was sitting next to Ronon, eyes closed with a glass of water and a bottle of Aleve sitting in front of him. He had a bandaid across his forehead and if she didn’t know any better she’d say he was swaying slightly. Sam added to her mental to do list to have Teyla take him down to the infirmary and have him admitted overnight in case he was suffering a concussion.
Teyla was sitting in between John and Radek, looking none the worse for wear. There was a look of concern on her face as she watched John but other than that it seemed like that last seven hours had little to no effect on her. Sam added to her mental to do list in big capital letters to ask Teyla about the tea she drank or whatever it was she had that enabled her to get through every day with her team. Also could she bulk buy it?
Author: roguish_angel
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG-13 for Czech swear words
Recipient: iheartkeys
Summary: “Swear to god McKay, you press the wrong button and we die, I’m going to kick your ass”
Spoilers: Only slight season 4 ones for characters
Disclaimers: Don’t own. Don’t sue.
Buttons and Blueberries
“No, not that one Rodney.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“OK, your funeral….”
“I really think you should listen to Radek Rodney”
“I told you I know what I’m doing!”
“Swear to God McKay, you press the wrong button and we die, I’m going to kick your ass”
“How do you propose to do that if you’re dead? Besides which, I know what I’m doing!”
“Rodney, from my calculations, I’m 99% certain it’s not that one!”
“Don’t screw up McKay, I’m hungry”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence Conon, I know what I’m doing!”
As the entire room plunged into darkness, Sam’s voice came over the radio.
“How’s it going?” her voice floated around the darkness.
“If I could see you Rodney, you’d be in pain,” came John’s voice.
“What…” said Sam’s voice.
“It does not appear to be going very well,” Teyla answered.
“Nothing seems to be appearing,” muttered Radek.
“OK, so I’m not right 100% of the time, but no one else would have been able to get us this far?” an agitated Rodney spluttered.
“Dr Zelenka advised you not to press that button,” Teyla pointed out.
There was silence from Rodney’s corner of the room.
“Does anyone have anything to eat?” asked Ronon.
Samantha Carter stood in the middle of the control room and rubbing her temples, trying to remember how on earth most of the top members of this expedition ended up locked in an abandoned lab, and now, in complete darkness.
6 hours earlier
“It’s located on the western side of the city, Major Lorne’s team discovered during the last round of city repairs,” explained John.
“So why are we just talking about this now?” Sam asked.
“Well because before the lab wasn’t emitting energy similar to that of a ZPM, that’s why!” Rodney’s tone was becoming increasingly frustrated.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to go down there Rodney,” Sam turned to John “Didn’t the report come back that that section of the city was still unstable?”
John nodded.
“Unstable as in ‘will fall down soon as we step foot into the place’ or unstable as in ‘dark, dank and all together not that nice’?” Rodney asked.
“What? Somewhere in between I guess,” frowned John. He wasn’t sure who this imposter was but he was sure that this couldn’t be the real Rodney. Arguing to go somewhere that had been deemed unsafe? Definitely not Rodney McKay.
“Look, this lab is giving off energy readings similar to that of a ZPM. Do either of you have the slightest notion of what this could mean? There could be ZPM’s down there! It could be a ZPM making lab!”
Sam was slightly disconcerted by the look of glee that was beginning to spread across Rodney’s face with the last thought he had voiced.
“I understand the potential of the lab Rodney...” Sam began.
“Ok, fantastic, everyone gear up and we’re off” Rodney said as he walked out of her office.
John turned to Sam “Is it just me or was that not Rodney?”
Sam smiled, “I know it might be risky John but Rodney is right. If that lab is where the Ancients made their ZPM’s or even if it’s just a place they did research on them then there’s so much we could gain from it. We’re running low and the Wraith and the Asurans aren’t going to entertain each other for ever.”
Teyla sighed and turned to feel the way down the wall to sit as the bickering began. She knew that there was at least half an hour of arguing to go until any progress of getting out of the dark, smelly and wet room.
“I told you NOT to press that button, but oh no as usual, you do not listen to anything anyone else has to say! Oh no you just have to do everything your own way...” Radek was saying.
“Hey! We’re not dead! The lab didn’t collapse and as far as I can tell no one’s hurt so...” Rodney argued back.
“I’m hungry” came Ronon’s voice
Suddenly a stream of light lit the room
“Enough!” bellowed John “Ok, Rodney, Zelenka... fix this so we can get the hell out of here. Ronon, eat this and shut up.”
“Fine,” muttered Rodney
“Ty debile zasranej...” muttered Radek
“I don’t like blueberry,” said Ronon
Teyla sighed.
John resisted the urge to bash his forehead into the wall.
6 hours later
Sam was trying her hardest not to giggle as she looked around the conference table.
Rodney and Radek were sitting as far away from each other as possible and alternately muttering under their breaths. Sam made a mental note to take Radek aside later and explain to him that she knew what ‘Tlustoprd ’ meant.
Ronon was sitting to Rodney’s side with the biggest plate of mashed potato and gravy Sam had ever seen. He was tucking it away like there was no tomorrow and every now and then, in possibly the funniest thing she’s ever seen, would shudder and say ‘Blueberries ’. Sam made another mental note to ask Dr Keller if Ronon was allergic to blueberries.
John was sitting next to Ronon, eyes closed with a glass of water and a bottle of Aleve sitting in front of him. He had a bandaid across his forehead and if she didn’t know any better she’d say he was swaying slightly. Sam added to her mental to do list to have Teyla take him down to the infirmary and have him admitted overnight in case he was suffering a concussion.
Teyla was sitting in between John and Radek, looking none the worse for wear. There was a look of concern on her face as she watched John but other than that it seemed like that last seven hours had little to no effect on her. Sam added to her mental to do list in big capital letters to ask Teyla about the tea she drank or whatever it was she had that enabled her to get through every day with her team. Also could she bulk buy it?