Don't make me tell you twice
Rodney: Right, so, what have we got this time?
John: A weapon. Hey, quit rubbing your hands together like that, it's fiction.
Rodney: Yes, well, a weapon is a weapon.
John: Just read, McKay.
After translating a tablet recovered from an expedition on a planet that was believed to be inhabited by the ancients. McKay found out that the Main tower in the middle of the city was actually a plasma cannon to destroy Wraith hive ships. The only problem with that is it requires the power of two ZPM’s to power it up, but when fully charged it is capable of taking out an armada of hive ships. McKay ran to Dr. Weir to tell her of the plan.
Rodney: Wow, that's a lot of exposition.
John: Yeah, I'm guessing the sheer volume of it was what made her keep changing tenses.
Rodney: No, really, that's a LOT of exposition for four sentences.
John: Should have been three.
Rodney: Yes, but -
John: Problem, McKay?
Rodney: Well, usually they give me all the exposition.
John: Keep reading.
“I have come up with a plan to destroy the hive ships,” said McKay.
“Oh really, what would that be?” said Weir.
“I finished translating the tablet found by SGA1. It says that the main tower above the control room is not just a huge lighting rod, but also a plasma cannon capable of taking out an armada of Wraith hive ships in deep space,” says McKay,“ but the only problem with that is….”
“It requires a large amount of energy,” said Weir finishing the sentence,“ how much energy?”
McKay hesitated and said,“ two ZPM’s.”
“That’s a lot of energy!” exclaimed Weir.
“But if that can stop an armada of ships, just think what it could do to three hive ships,” said McKay.
Rodney: That's just wrong.
Elizabeth: What's just wrong?
John: Hey, Elizabeth, nice to see you. Pull up a seat and read if you really want to know what's wrong.
Elizabeth: I haven't seen that much redundancy since the last Pentagon memo we received.
John: And they don't use their grammar check either.
Elizabeth: Wait, I don't finish Rodney's sentences. That's -
Rodney: Just wrong?
John: Kinda creepy?
Elizabeth: Radek's job. Maybe we should just skim the rest of this.
John: Works for the memos.
Elizabeth: Yes, it does.
After getting the ok on the plan McKay found out that half of each of the three ZPM’s they already had were used up. That was only equivalent to one and a half. McKay decided that they needed to get back the ZPM that was taken by the Jeni.
John: Wow, McKay, and they say I’m a math genius.
Rodney: Yes, yes, very funny. When did we get three ZPMs?
Elizabeth: When did the Genii get one?
Rodney: Why are we looking for logic in this story?
John: Huh, good point. Keep reading?
Rodney: If we must.
For the rest of the day Shepard’s team, along with Dr. Weir, strategize on how to reclaim the ZPM from the Jeni. Suddenly a radio transmission came from the control room that there was a scheduled off-world activation from SGA4. They said at the debriefing that they had found a suitable evac site for the evacuation. Also they had found an ancient cloaking device. It could be attached to a P-90 or any weapon of that matter.
Elizabeth: Did either of you see something about ordering an evacuation?
Rodney: No.
John: I thought we were skimming.
Rodney: Yes, you were. And while you skimmed, I read. No evacuation.
Elizabeth: It must have happened off screen.
Rodney: Like most of our character development.
“I wonder if we can replicate this technology to make to make other cloaking devices,” said Weir.
“ I’ve already tried to do that with the jumpers. Apparently the technology is way beyond our technology. In fact if we tried to tamper with it we would only be damaging it further,” said McKay.
Rodney: Oh please, like I couldn't reverse engineer the jumpers.
John: Really?
Rodney: Okay, maybe not completely reverse engineer.
John: Not completely?
Rodney: Not much.
John: How much?
Rodney: Fine, not at all. Are you happy?
John: Completely.
Elizabeth: The technology is damaged?
Rodney: No. What?
Elizabeth: The author says tampering would make it more damaged.
John: Unlike this story.
“I am authorizing a search mission only to look for any more ZPM’s,” said Weir.
In the armory the next day Shepard said,“ I hope we find another ZPM back in the chamber because I do not want to infiltrate the Jeni base.”
“Same here. I can not believe they would turn on us after what did for them,” said Tayla
“ I think it would be unlikely for anyone to infiltrate the Jeni base and come out alive with a ZPM. Especially since they knew that it held immense power,” said Ford.
“I wonder if they found out how to use the power in the ZPM for themselves,” said McKay.
Elizabeth: Do I really sound like that when I order a mission?
John: No. You use complex language and contractions.
Rodney: In fact, Ford sounds more like you than you do. And Teyla sounds like someone from the OC.
John: You watch the OC?
Rodney: Of course not. I heard them discussing it in the labs. I mean, not the physics labs. The botany labs, that's where I heard them.
John: Don't worry Rodney, your secret's safe with us.
Elizabeth: Gentlemen? Are you finished?
John: Yes?
Elizabeth: Good. So is the story.
Rodney: Wait, really? That's it? But, that's not even a cliffhanger. It's just -
John: Are you complaining that we're done with this one?
Rodney: No, I - Huh, I was.
John: C'mon, McKay. I think the Daedalus brought some old Beverly Hills 90210 tapes on their last run. It's not the OC, but -