New Fic
Title: Echoes of Silence
Summary: The word echoed off the bare walls as he knew it would yet he still felt that chill down his spine.
Characters: John
Pairing: John/Teyla
Rating: T-M
“Teyla...”
The word echoed off the bare walls as he knew it would yet he still felt that chill down his spine. It isn’t the first time he’s found himself here, gracing her empty quarters with his presence and he knows it won’t be the last. He knows that she’s gone but he can’t quite bring himself to let them use her room for anyone else. There’s still a part of her in the walls, in the air and it’s all he has left of her.
He knows this isn’t making it any easier, that reminding himself that she’s not here is only widening the already gaping wound in his heart. The room still smelled of the candles she’d burned months before, the bed still smelled of the shampoo she used. But the smells were fading, her memory disappearing into the walls, to a place he can’t follow.
He needs to remind himself that she was real, that she was there at one point because she means so much to him that he’s sure he must have conjured her up.
He perched himself on the edge of the bed, fingering the only thing of her that still remained. He couldn’t let them take it back because while he was there, in her room, he wrapped himself up in it and let himself imagine it was her warmth seeping into his hollow body.
He didn’t speak as he sat there wrapped in the afghan he’d gotten for her on a trip to Earth; the same afghan they’d first made love on the night before she was gone. He shivered and tucked himself closer into the warmth that he wanted to badly to be hers.
To start with, the others had come to find him and urge him back to his own bed but he never went. He couldn’t. This - her room - was the last of what he had of her after the Athosians came and took the rest of her away. He wasn’t quite ready to give up yet.
He stared at the spot on the floor that he’d lowered her onto as the candles danced across her naked body. He could see himself tasting her, teasing her, loving her and it was driving him crazy because it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t fair. He could hear the whispers of ardour that passed between them, the subtle moans of pleasure as she rose to meet his every thrust, urging him faster, slower, harder, more.
He’d left it too late. If he’d only been braver, if only he’d been able to make that move before, they’d have had more than just that one time. He’d have been able to fall in love with her, and not just her memory.
His body shuddered as his breath left him in a violent quake, his shoulders shaking despite the relative warmth of the empty room.
He sat there for hours watching his body moving with hers, laying with hers, playing with hers. The blank canvas of his eyelids spared him no details and as the suns tinted the horizon, brightening the room millimetre by millimetre, he whispered the words he’d long since lost faith in.
“I’ll find you, Teyla.” The bed welcomes him as he lay down, his eyes still rooted to the spot he’d last been with her. Sleep tugged at him and he surrendered, the memory torturing him in his sub conscious. “I’ll find you.”