Good Housekeeping by FlatandDan (City Exploration Challenge)
Title: Good Housekeeping
Rating: G
Pairing: None. None at all.
Summary: Rodney just can't be bothered with some things.
Authors note: I saw kyrdwyn story earlier today and the combination of the title of that and spending four hours cleaning house caused this "thing" to pop into my head. Unbeta'd.
Good Housekeeping
The state of Rodney McKay’s living quarters was a well known fact. Mess was an understatement. Ground zero of an atomic bomb detonation was getting closer. No one had been invited into his room for the last six months.
Tactfulness is coming precariously close to ending though, John thought to himself as he walked into the briefing room. Beckett was already pacing.
“So…what’s McKay done this time?” he asked as he slouched into a chair. An official meeting, this was not.
“He’s causing a bloody health and safety concern, that’s what he’s doing.” Beckett ranted, his arms already starting to flail about. Oh good, an easy problem.
“If this is about those cables running across the halls, I’ll just tell him to keep his scientists in their cages and it’ll be fine.”
“I’m afraid it’s Rodney’s personal cage that’s causing the problem” Weir said, a slight smile touching her lips.
“His room? It’s still contained, isn’t it?”
“Barely” Beckett answered. He turned his laptop around and Sheppard watched as a slide slow of pictures of the room in question. Cans, food, paper, piles of unwashed clothes, mold, compact discs and various pieces of Ancient technology littered the place. Dust blanketed everything.
“How did you get these?”
“I attached a camera to the back of a rat”
“Oh come on Doc, it’s not that bad.”
“If we had rats here, that would be home base.”
“Gentlemen, please.” Wier raised her hands. “Rodney’s room is bad, we can all agree on that. As much as I don’t like that you invaded his privacy Carson, and rest assured we will speak of this later, what’s done is done. Now what are we going to do?”
“He’s a grownup for Christ sakes, I’m not telling him to clean up his room.”
“I’m sorry, but as his Doctor I can’t let him live like that.”
“Why don’t we just get him a maid?”
“Because Major, that would set precedence” Weir interrupted. “Rodney has to clean up his room, or his friends have to do it for him.”
* * *
“You are fucking kidding me” McKay ranted. He was standing in his underwear in the doorframe of his room. He faced a formidable crew. Teyla, Ford and Sheppard stood with bin bags and gas masks in hands.
“Look, Beckett has spoken. We either burn the place or clean it. Frankly, I thought you’d prefer this.” Ford grinned at Sheppards words and pushed forward.
“Where do you think you’re headed?” McKay snarled. “I’ll clean the place to myself if I have to. But this is taking up valuable time that could be used to solve any number of problems.”
“There isn’t any point…wait, you said you’d clean it?”
“It’s not like I’m being given many options. Just get those garbage bags away from me. My mom used to come into my room with garbage bags and all my stuff would be gone.”
“How will we know that you have actually cleaned your room?” Teyla asked quietly.
“I’ll have a fucking open house.” The door closed in their faces.
“Well, that easy” Sheppard grinned as he handed Ford his bag and sauntered off.
* * *
McKay slumped against his door and looked at the ordered chaos that faced him. Some might call it a mess, but he just called it well lived in. Maybe it was a little untidy, but he was a busy man. If he just had a bit more room then…
Rodney started to smile.
* * *
It was a different set of quarters, Sheppard had to admit. Clean, tidy and with a little bit of McKay here and there. He nodded at Weir and Ford as he wandered towards McKay who was guarding the nibbles tables nervously.
“Nice party”
“Thank you Major. It was hard to put the food together for it what with doing the spring clean and still managing to take care of my normal duties.” Sheppard leaned in closer.
“Where did you put it all?” Rodney snorted, his mouth full of wine.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Major.” he quickly replied, taking another sip.
“And your room has gotten bigger”
“Is has not”
“You knocked down a wall”
“I most certainly did not”
“I talked to Lt. Aberman.” It was worth the wait to see the look on his face. So worth it.
“What did he tell you?” McKay wispered.
“Oh, most things. About how you bribed him to change quarters and help you move some stuff to the south pier.” He almost looks relieved.
“I’m sorry, did I say some? I meant to say three room fulls.”
A hush settled over the room.
“What are you planning?” McKay’s voice sounded raw.
“It’s already been done”.
* * *
McKay ran.
He ran until he lungs burned and his legs felt like rubber. His gym teacher would have been proud. But if any of his notes burned, his math teachers would crucify him.
He rounded the last corner, was amazed not to smell any smoke. Thank god. He flung the door open.
It was tidy. The boxes that he had tossed in randomly looked completely organized. A small piece of paper attached to each box proudly told what was in them. Admittedly, he noticed one that said More Crap on it, but that was still better then what it had been before. Sure it would require some tweaking but somehow just looked better. Assuming everything was here.
He picked up a note, the one piece of paper sitting on the floor.
It’s all here. If you ever let it get so bad again, we will burn it all. Flip me over.
McKay smiled and flipped.
You’re welcome.
Rating: G
Pairing: None. None at all.
Summary: Rodney just can't be bothered with some things.
Authors note: I saw kyrdwyn story earlier today and the combination of the title of that and spending four hours cleaning house caused this "thing" to pop into my head. Unbeta'd.
Good Housekeeping
The state of Rodney McKay’s living quarters was a well known fact. Mess was an understatement. Ground zero of an atomic bomb detonation was getting closer. No one had been invited into his room for the last six months.
Tactfulness is coming precariously close to ending though, John thought to himself as he walked into the briefing room. Beckett was already pacing.
“So…what’s McKay done this time?” he asked as he slouched into a chair. An official meeting, this was not.
“He’s causing a bloody health and safety concern, that’s what he’s doing.” Beckett ranted, his arms already starting to flail about. Oh good, an easy problem.
“If this is about those cables running across the halls, I’ll just tell him to keep his scientists in their cages and it’ll be fine.”
“I’m afraid it’s Rodney’s personal cage that’s causing the problem” Weir said, a slight smile touching her lips.
“His room? It’s still contained, isn’t it?”
“Barely” Beckett answered. He turned his laptop around and Sheppard watched as a slide slow of pictures of the room in question. Cans, food, paper, piles of unwashed clothes, mold, compact discs and various pieces of Ancient technology littered the place. Dust blanketed everything.
“How did you get these?”
“I attached a camera to the back of a rat”
“Oh come on Doc, it’s not that bad.”
“If we had rats here, that would be home base.”
“Gentlemen, please.” Wier raised her hands. “Rodney’s room is bad, we can all agree on that. As much as I don’t like that you invaded his privacy Carson, and rest assured we will speak of this later, what’s done is done. Now what are we going to do?”
“He’s a grownup for Christ sakes, I’m not telling him to clean up his room.”
“I’m sorry, but as his Doctor I can’t let him live like that.”
“Why don’t we just get him a maid?”
“Because Major, that would set precedence” Weir interrupted. “Rodney has to clean up his room, or his friends have to do it for him.”
* * *
“You are fucking kidding me” McKay ranted. He was standing in his underwear in the doorframe of his room. He faced a formidable crew. Teyla, Ford and Sheppard stood with bin bags and gas masks in hands.
“Look, Beckett has spoken. We either burn the place or clean it. Frankly, I thought you’d prefer this.” Ford grinned at Sheppards words and pushed forward.
“Where do you think you’re headed?” McKay snarled. “I’ll clean the place to myself if I have to. But this is taking up valuable time that could be used to solve any number of problems.”
“There isn’t any point…wait, you said you’d clean it?”
“It’s not like I’m being given many options. Just get those garbage bags away from me. My mom used to come into my room with garbage bags and all my stuff would be gone.”
“How will we know that you have actually cleaned your room?” Teyla asked quietly.
“I’ll have a fucking open house.” The door closed in their faces.
“Well, that easy” Sheppard grinned as he handed Ford his bag and sauntered off.
* * *
McKay slumped against his door and looked at the ordered chaos that faced him. Some might call it a mess, but he just called it well lived in. Maybe it was a little untidy, but he was a busy man. If he just had a bit more room then…
Rodney started to smile.
* * *
It was a different set of quarters, Sheppard had to admit. Clean, tidy and with a little bit of McKay here and there. He nodded at Weir and Ford as he wandered towards McKay who was guarding the nibbles tables nervously.
“Nice party”
“Thank you Major. It was hard to put the food together for it what with doing the spring clean and still managing to take care of my normal duties.” Sheppard leaned in closer.
“Where did you put it all?” Rodney snorted, his mouth full of wine.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Major.” he quickly replied, taking another sip.
“And your room has gotten bigger”
“Is has not”
“You knocked down a wall”
“I most certainly did not”
“I talked to Lt. Aberman.” It was worth the wait to see the look on his face. So worth it.
“What did he tell you?” McKay wispered.
“Oh, most things. About how you bribed him to change quarters and help you move some stuff to the south pier.” He almost looks relieved.
“I’m sorry, did I say some? I meant to say three room fulls.”
A hush settled over the room.
“What are you planning?” McKay’s voice sounded raw.
“It’s already been done”.
* * *
McKay ran.
He ran until he lungs burned and his legs felt like rubber. His gym teacher would have been proud. But if any of his notes burned, his math teachers would crucify him.
He rounded the last corner, was amazed not to smell any smoke. Thank god. He flung the door open.
It was tidy. The boxes that he had tossed in randomly looked completely organized. A small piece of paper attached to each box proudly told what was in them. Admittedly, he noticed one that said More Crap on it, but that was still better then what it had been before. Sure it would require some tweaking but somehow just looked better. Assuming everything was here.
He picked up a note, the one piece of paper sitting on the floor.
It’s all here. If you ever let it get so bad again, we will burn it all. Flip me over.
McKay smiled and flipped.
You’re welcome.