It started as a notion and kind of spilled out from there. All the possible implications for Laura if she found herself stuck in his body. Would make for a great cliffie but I found the whole "What do I do now?" scenario more interesting.
"That's a very plausible possible outcome": well I figured that the whole thing had been an enormous shot in the dark. Another "Hail Mary" born of desperation.
Nice, especially for a first time writer.... don't hesitate to do more.
One concrit for you: Lt Col Sheppard had made it clear that her position was still there for her though he quite look her steadily in the eye -- I think that should be "though he couldn't quite look her steadily"
Oh, wow, I really liked this. I thought I knew where you were going with this and I loved that it was (what I thought) Elizabeth still in Atlantis. Then you gave us that last line and the whole thing fell into place. Well done!! And so plausible!
I really liked this -- the slow reveal of what really happened was especially effective. I do wonder what Cadman's friends-on-Atlantis think about her, now--you hinted at it, a little, I think. I especially loved that Sheppard would do his best to take care of her, even though he's grieving for Rodney.
I hadn't contemplating extending this any further but I'll admit your comment did spark a few ideas!
My focus was on trying to drop hints and then have a whammy at the end because I love those kinds of stories myself.
When I was thinking about what she would do with her life after then John automatically entered into the equation. You just know that he would look after her even though it was killing him!
My Muse and I thank you very much for your comments and encouragement!
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It started as a notion and kind of spilled out from there.
All the possible implications for Laura if she found herself stuck in his body.
Would make for a great cliffie but I found the whole "What do I do now?" scenario more interesting.
"That's a very plausible possible outcome": well I figured that the whole thing had been an enormous shot in the dark. Another "Hail Mary" born of desperation.
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Nice, especially for a first time writer.... don't hesitate to do more.
One concrit for you: Lt Col Sheppard had made it clear that her position was still there for her though he quite look her steadily in the eye -- I think that should be "though he couldn't quite look her steadily"
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That's the sort of thing I normally notice in other people's fic!
Thanks for pointing it out!
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I was really worried about getting the balance between telling a story and keeping the suspense for the last line.
Actually I was even worried about what I put in the Spoiler Warning in case I gave it away before I started!
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Please do write more! :)
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My focus was on trying to drop hints and then have a whammy at the end because I love those kinds of stories myself.
When I was thinking about what she would do with her life after then John automatically entered into the equation. You just know that he would look after her even though it was killing him!
My Muse and I thank you very much for your comments and encouragement!
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