"Happy Hour" by Alizarin_NYC [challenge drunken/alcohol]

Apr 19, 2009 01:05

Title: Happy Hour
Author: Alizarin_nyc
Fandom: SGA
Rating: PG (drinking, swearing and kissing)
Pairing: McShep, Team, mention of McKeller
Summary: The team's on shore leave and it's drinks all 'round until John decides to make it interesting.



"Oh no. No no no no no no no and no."

"Come on, McKay. It’s shore leave. It’s vacation. It’s..."

"You’re slurring your words already, John. And just because we’re on shore leave or whatever, doesn’t mean we have to act like frat brothers."

"What are frat brothers?" Teyla asked.

"I like this game," Ronon said. "I want to try earth customs."

"Look," Rodney said, leaning hard on his elbows across the table and nearly sliding off his stool in the process. He put his finger in Ronon’s face to make his point. "There are many great things about earth, but drinking games aren’t among them. It will only end in tears. And quite possibly puke."

"I think it will be very amusing," Teyla said. And she smiled the smile of a person who isn’t in mortal danger and is very much enjoying their vacation. Rodney pointed his finger at her, instead.

"You do realize, don’t you, that Spin the Bottle means you have to kiss one of us."

"She realizes, Rodney, she realizes," John said, emptying yet another beer into his mouth. He waved for the waitress. "Couple of plastic cups, too, please." She smiled and he smirked and Rodney rolled his eyes.

"I think both games indicate a certain level of skill and I can see why you’re scared," Ronon said. "Your hand-eye coordination sucks, and it’s only getting worse now that you’re in your forties."

"Shit, you did not just insult me like that."

John guffawed. Rodney had never seen John guffaw. Teyla smiling, John laughing and Ronon drinking heavily. What was the world coming to?

"Okay, so Quarters I can see. But Spin the Bottle - I mean, that’s just stupid. There’s three guys and one girl, and that girl is married and I’m you know, with someone, and..."

"Booooring," Teyla intoned at him. "I’m not married, I have a child. And that child’s father isn’t here. I want to experience earth culture. He would never hold that against me."

"So says you," Rodney retorted. "Hang on, I’ll call Jennifer."

"Oh ho, no you don’t buddy," John said, deftly snagging Rodney’s cell phone. "This is a team bonding thing. No calls to significant others. No thinking about significant others. And if you have to kiss a guy, what’s the big fucking deal? If I’m in, you’re in."

"If I’m in," Ronon said. "You’re definitely in."

"What does that even mean?" Rodney tried to look indignant, but his team members’ faces were resolute. And his team members’ faces were glowing. "You’re all addled by the sun, I swear."

"Maybe so, Rodney," John said. "But you have to admit my favorite place on earth is amazing."

"A dive bar is your favorite place on earth," Rodney said, pressing his fingers against the sticky tabletop and throwing a cold, ketchupy fry at John’s head.

"No, Santa Barbara, you idiot."

"The ocean is very beautiful," Teyla said. "Fish tacos are delightful. And the people are so nice. Also the shopping..."

"Okay, okay, we get it," Ronon said. "Back to Spin the Quarters."

"It’s Spin the Bottle and Quarters. Two different games that go great together," John said.

"I still don’t see why we have to do both," Rodney complained. He ordered another vodka-tonic from the waitress. Teyla and Ronon both ordered their fifth beer.

"Okay, look," John said. He set up a plastic cup in the middle of their table. "One bounce and in. If you make it, you make someone either drink or spin. If you miss, you drink. If you’re made to spin, you spin the bottle like this," John expertly spun his dead soldier and - no surprise - it landed on Teyla. "So if we were playing, I would have to kiss Teyla. If it lands in the middle of two people, or on myself, I don’t kiss anyone, but I have to drink."

"I’m sure Ronon can’t follow those instructions, John, so let’s just forget the whole thing," Rodney said, trying to palm the quarter.

"I can understand it just fine, Rodney." Ronon snagged the quarter and began flipping it expertly between his fingers like a magician. "And I expect to make you pay for every insult."

"What about all those times I saved your life!" Rodney squeaked. Ronon bared his teeth.

"So now you have to kiss me, John," Teyla purred.

"But that was to show you how to play, I don’t... mmmph." Teyla was already getting warmed up, apparently. She left a smudge of lipgloss on the side of John’s lips.

Rodney began to calculate the spin of the bottle and how much force he’d need to apply to get it to land on Teyla, or on himself. He’d need a pen and a cocktail napkin to keep the equations straight in his vodka-addled brain.

"Okay, who's first?" John was an eager little beaver this evening. Maybe he'd hit his head while surfing earlier. "Wait, I should go first so you can see how it's done."

"Champion of the drinking games, eh?" Rodney ribbed. "Anyone have a pen?"

"Watch and learn." John aimed and banged the quarter down on the table with a flick of his wrist. It bounced, and almost in slow motion, the quarter shone above the cup and then dropped in. John whooped loudly. "First go and he nails it!"

"Oh you are just insufferable," Rodney groaned.

"Are you sure you do not cheat, John?" Teyla asked. Ronon bared his teeth and gripped the edges of the table. "What will you have us do?"

"Ronon. Spin."

"With pleasure," Ronon said. He took up the bottle and set it in front of him and then spun it so hard it flew off the table.

"As always, he doesn't know his own strength," Rodney said. "So is that a default?"

John leaped off his stool and followed the still spinning bottle as it skittered off beneath the pool table. Rodney got a nice look at John's ass. Not that he could help it, the ass was right there. "Rodney!" John yelped and Rodney jumped.

"What, what is it?"

"Pucker up, big fella," Ronon said, lunging in Rodney's general direction. Rodney may have screamed in a very un-gentlemanly way. But before he could scream again, Ronon's big paws had him by the neck and Ronon's lush lips were on his and the shock of it sent a bolt of lightning straight to Rodney's groin. "You can open your eyes McKay," Ronon said. "It's over."

"Oh, of course. And a good thing too, that was disgusting." Rodney made a big show of wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Jesus-God I am going to need another drink."

"Hold up, we've only just started," Teyla warned. She grabbed the quarter and tossed it on the table where it bumped up against the cup. She grinned and took a huge swallow of beer.

Ronon grabbed the quarter next, hefted it in his hand and then blasted it across the table straight into John's face. "Ow," John said. "Two drinks for that, you ape."

"When I get it right, Sheppard, you're going down," Ronon said, tilting the beer back and draining it in one.

"I thought I was going down," Rodney said. "Gimme that." He plucked the quarter from John's hands. "You can't make enemies of everyone."

"Then everyone needs to stop calling me names," Ronon growled.

"Teasing is a sign of affection, I am sure," Teyla said.

Rodney sized up the cup, aimed and bounced the quarter straight in. He crowed with delight. "You're all dead, you're all so dead. I'm a scientist, how did you think you could play against me?" He rubbed his hands together. "John. Spin. Now."

"Oh, I'm going to spin, you know it." John grabbed Ronon's empty bottle and placed it where the cup had been. He glanced at each of his team members in turn, drawing out the delicious anticipation. He licked his lips. Ronon licked his lips. Rodney wiped the sweat from his upper lip with a napkin.

John spun.

The bottle whirred and then clanked to a stop, the neck of it pointing to Ronon. "Oh shit," John said. Ronon grinned maniacally.

"I'm getting lucky as hell," Ronon said. John jumped off his stool and came around the table.

"Hey buddy," he said, cupping Ronon's face in his hands. He leaned in. Rodney almost fell off his chair; the sight of John being tender and leaning in to kiss Ronon was shocking and intimate. And hot. John placed a relaxed kiss on Ronon's lips, then tugged on his dreads, pulling Ronon's head back. Ronon shook his head and laughed.

"Okay, I'm bored," Teyla said. "This game is going decidedly downhill and I have not had enough to drink."

"Here we go," John said, returning quickly to his seat and taking up the quarter. He missed and drank. Teyla missed again and drank. She also used some colorful earth curse words that made John giggle. Ronon aimed and spun the quarter hard into the cup. "Damn," John said. "That rocked."

"Teyla. Drink." Teyla obeyed.

Rodney missed and drank, but John landed the quarter in again. "Spin!" he crowed to Rodney. Rodney grudgingly spun, but he had to say it was not as horrifying as he'd thought it would be. He might even be having fun, it was hard to say.

"Teyla, thank God," Rodney said, watching the bottle stop in her general direction. He hopped off his stool and with light-headed ease, circled the table to Teyla. She was smiling and open and so, so beautiful. He tilted his head and met her upturned lips. She ran her tongue along his lower lip and he gasped. Unexpected, but Rodney was only human; he pressed the advantage and they french-kissed until John sprinkled beer on them, about five seconds later. "Hey," Rodney said.

"Save some for the rest of us," John said and winked. Seriously, who was this guy and what had the aliens done with the real Colonel?

Teyla missed again and drank. "I was thirsty," she explained.

Ronon banged the quarter in the cup again, tipping it over. "That counts, right?"

"You have to drink, but you also get to make someone drink or spin," John said, probably making it up on the fly. Ronon drank and pointed to John. "Spin, you furry little worm."

John laughed and spun the bottle, pretending to shoot at it with his hands as it spun. "Pew, pew, pew!" Rodney was giggling so hard he didn't even notice at first when the bottle landed on him. Then John was standing up and...

"Wait, wait, it's totally pointing between us, that's a default. You drink! Or I'll drink! Whatever, I don't care!"

"Shut up, McKay," John growled, and Jesus, John was between his legs, which had fallen open awkwardly as he sat on the stool. One of John's hands was on his back and the other scraped his six o'clock shadow as it curled around his face and Rodney couldn't even squeak before John was kissing him, pulling him in hard and messy.

"We are likely to get kicked out of this establishment at this rate," Teyla said, laughing. Ronon was snickering like a schoolgirl. Rodney couldn't even respond, John's tongue was in his mouth. He couldn't breathe either. But when John pulled away, he looked incredibly smug, the bastard. He knew what he was doing.

"You bastard," Rodney said. "I almost died from lack of oxygen!"

"Oh is that all it is?" John teased. "You can admit I take your breath away, Rodney, you're among friends."

"Yes, Rodney," Teyla said in mock seriousness. "You are among friends. You needn't fear that we will tell stories about how much you enjoy kissing us."

"Very funny, very funny," Rodney said, swallowing what was left of his vodka tonic. "I'm thirsty. Where's the damn waitress?"

"We scared her away," Ronon said. "I'll fly." He strutted into the front of the bar and leaned across it, like a man truly desperate for drinks.

Ronon returned and so did some of the patrons. Several guys started up a pool game and tried to horn in on their game, seeing their chance to win over Teyla. "Sorry, it's a work thing," John told them and then made out with Ronon so the guys eventually left, muttering and shaking their heads.

Rodney was having so much fun he started to fall off his stool and no one was able to get the quarter in the cup, much less spin the bottle or determine where it landed. They started randomly drinking and laughing and voting on best kisser. "John," Rodney said. "Teyla," Ronon said. "Me," John said. "I never kiss and tell," Teyla said, glancing at Ronon.

"I want you to kiss me again," Rodney said to John. John happily obliged and Teyla banged on the table as John explored Rodney's mouth and Rodney felt up John's back. It was the best night he'd had in a long time.

John had to hold Rodney up as they walked to the car. "S'fun," Rodney slurred.

"Yeah, buddy, but you're going to be hurtin' in the morning."

"Hurtin' now," Rodney said and threw up on his shoes. Ronon laughed and Teyla dove into the car for tissues.

"Who's going to drive?" John asked. "You can go to jail for drunk driving; we are so stupid."

"Bartender called us a cab," Ronon said, grinning. "I kissed her to say thanks. Earth is a nice place."

"Don't get used to it," John said. "We are ALL going back."

"Not Jennifer," Rodney said suddenly, standing straight up and shrugging off John's arm. "She asssed me to stay, too."

"Assed you?" Teyla laughed.

"Seriously?" John was looking at him with puppy eyes, hair flopping in his eyes. "Seriously? You're not considering it are you?"

Rodney sighed, wiping his mouth and grimacing. "No. No, I'm not. But I'm not looking forward to being alone again. I'm pretty crap at long disssance relationships."

"Who isn't?" John asked. "Shit, she's a great doc. Sorry, buddy."

"You are not alone, Rodney. You will never be alone," Teyla said.

"Yeah," Ronon said.

"You've got us," John said. "And we're all really good kissers!"

"I'm not that worried. It'll be fine. And. I love you guys!" Rodney threw his arms wide for his team.

"You just threw up. Sorry man we're not hugging it out," Ronon said.

John hugged him anyway. Rodney thought John whispered something in his ear. Something like, "stay with me." But the cab was pulling up with a screech of tires and their suites at the Biltmore with the giant fluffy pillows were beckoning. They piled into the cab and laughed all the way back, at what Rodney couldn't remember.

.

challenge: drunken/alcohol, author: alizarin_nyc

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