Alone Together by elementalv (challenge: drunken/alcohol)
Title: Alone Together
Author: elementalv
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Notes: 1,240 words, no warnings except for minimal fluff.
Summary: McKay was already a complete dick when it came to John’s sex life. If he ever found out how pathetic it was in reality, John would have to terminate him. With extreme prejudice.
~*~*~
Usually, when John said he never saw it coming, he really meant, “Okay, maybe I knew what she (sometimes ‘he’) was aiming for, but I didn’t think she (or he) was serious. I was there on a mission. What kind of asshole tries to get laid during a mission?” Not that he’d ever said any of that, and he never planned to, because McKay was already a complete dick when it came to John’s sex life. If he ever found out how pathetic it was in reality, John would have to terminate him. With extreme prejudice.
Regardless, no matter what he actually thought when he said, “I never saw it coming,” he honestly didn’t see it coming when Keller tapped him on the shoulder (in the hall outside the Mess), said, “How could you?” and laid him flat with a pretty damned impressive left hook that came out of nowhere.
“The hell?” But Keller had already run off, and Lorne, standing not five feet away, looked like he wanted to say something. John said, “You got something to say to me, Major?”
Lorne froze for a moment. “Um. No, Sir. I was just thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch.” John gave him the stink-eye until Lorne blanched and backed away cautiously.
John stood slowly, carefully glaring at the few military personnel in the area - new, all of them, otherwise, they would have known better than to keep watching - and generally behaving like a military commander who hadn’t just had his ass handed to him by a woman who was twelve years his junior and at least seventy pounds lighter. And yeah, Teyla did that to him every other day, twice on Sundays, but she did that to everyone else, too, including Ronon. Keller, on the other hand - Keller was kind of embarrassing.
He stalked away from the Mess, ignoring the twinge coming from his left hip in favor of the agony of his jaw, and headed toward the labs. Keller clearly wasn’t in the mood to explain herself, so Rodney could do the honors. John’s jaw shifted from sharp pain to a deep, throbbing ache just as he got to the main lab, so he kept it as immobile as possible and asked Rodney, “Want to tell me why your girlfriend just broke my jaw?”
“I -” Rodney looked startled, vaguely proud and completely guilty, which meant there was no way in hell John would believe him if he said he didn’t know. “Really? She broke it? Wow.”
“Not the point, Rodney. What is the point is why she slugged me just now. And I’m thinking you know something about that.” Christ, that little speech hurt like a son of a bitch. John hoped Rodney wouldn’t drag this out any longer than necessary. He also hoped Keller was nowhere near the infirmary when he finally went down there to get his jaw checked out. The mood she was in, she’d probably try to break something else of his. Like his nose. Or maybe his balls.
“I might have told her about -”
The bad feeling that had been hovering at the back of John’s mind since Keller decked him slid down into his stomach and flared out from there. “Told her about what, exactly?”
“A-about the blow job you gave me the other -”
“We said we were never going to talk about that again! Fuck!” He really needed to remember not to use his jaw so much. John cupped his hand to his face and glared at Rodney. “You promised.”
“I did no such thing! And anyway, what was I supposed to do?” Rodney’s hands started to get agitated, moving around like Rodney was trying to write equations into the air. “She was going down on me this morning, and honestly? I hate to say it, but she just wasn’t that great. I think maybe it’s because she doesn’t have a dick and doesn’t know how -”
“McKay!” he hissed, but it was no good. Rodney kept talking.
“- to work it the way a man does. On the other hand, it’s possible that you give such incredibly fantastic blow jobs that you’re skewing the curve for everyone else. I have to ask, do you even have a gag reflex?”
And just like that, John flashed back with technicolor scent and full surround sound to what it felt like to have Rodney’s heavy cock on his tongue, the way it throbbed as Rodney’s heart rate soared, the way it hit the back of his throat, the way Rodney’s musk smelled so damn good. Rodney had been bitter on John’s tongue, but the flavor had grown on him - kind of the way Rodney had - and John couldn’t get enough of it. He’d sucked Rodney down and kept going for too long after Rodney came, stopping only when Rodney tugged hard on his hair to make him let go.
John tended toward greediness on occasion.
“Yes, I have a gag reflex,” he said as calmly as he could, even though he really wanted to kill Rodney right at that moment. “What I don’t have is the slightest idea why you decided to tell Keller about it.”
“Really? Because I swear you didn’t have one the other night.” Rodney’s eyes grew wide, and he snapped his fingers at John. “Oh, hey! It was the booze, wasn’t it?” He blinked a couple of times and deflated. “Oh. Booze. I get it.”
“Rodney, focus! Why did you tell Keller?”
“It was - and - you -” By this time, Rodney’s hands had stuttered to a halt and dropped onto his lap. For a brief, insane moment, John thought about nudging them to get Rodney talking again, but it turned out he didn’t have to. “You seemed so happy the other night, and - and I was happy, and I just -”
This was the point where John was supposed to say yes, it was the booze and that Rodney had shot down a perfectly good relationship for no reason. It was the truth, because without the booze, John never would have faceplanted into Rodney’s lap the way he had. On the other hand, it was also a lie, and Rodney, who saved John from boredom, Wraith and his own stupidity, deserved better than a lie.
“It wasn’t -” God, John sucked at this. He was better at showing than telling, but thanks to Keller, he couldn’t exactly go down on Rodney to prove his undying - something or other. “It wasn’t the booze. Not just the booze,” he finally managed to spit out.
“It wasn’t?” Rodney blinked a couple of times, and just like that, his uncertainty rolled off like it had been sitting on Teflon, which - yeah. It made sense that Rodney’s ego was made of Teflon, and John hated like hell to feed it, but right now, honesty was the better part of valor.
“No.”
“So then, you and me?” And there went Rodney’s hands again, describing the arc of him and John, his mouth filling in the details. “I don’t know much about being with guys, so you’ll have to teach me, but I’m a fast learner. Especially when it comes to blow jobs.” Rodney blinked rapidly. “There’ll be more blow jobs, right?”
“Not for a while.”
“What? Why not?” Rodney whining like an eight-year-old shouldn’t have been as hot as it turned out to be.
“Broken jaw, remember?”
“Oh. Damn.”
Author: elementalv
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Notes: 1,240 words, no warnings except for minimal fluff.
Summary: McKay was already a complete dick when it came to John’s sex life. If he ever found out how pathetic it was in reality, John would have to terminate him. With extreme prejudice.
~*~*~
Usually, when John said he never saw it coming, he really meant, “Okay, maybe I knew what she (sometimes ‘he’) was aiming for, but I didn’t think she (or he) was serious. I was there on a mission. What kind of asshole tries to get laid during a mission?” Not that he’d ever said any of that, and he never planned to, because McKay was already a complete dick when it came to John’s sex life. If he ever found out how pathetic it was in reality, John would have to terminate him. With extreme prejudice.
Regardless, no matter what he actually thought when he said, “I never saw it coming,” he honestly didn’t see it coming when Keller tapped him on the shoulder (in the hall outside the Mess), said, “How could you?” and laid him flat with a pretty damned impressive left hook that came out of nowhere.
“The hell?” But Keller had already run off, and Lorne, standing not five feet away, looked like he wanted to say something. John said, “You got something to say to me, Major?”
Lorne froze for a moment. “Um. No, Sir. I was just thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch.” John gave him the stink-eye until Lorne blanched and backed away cautiously.
John stood slowly, carefully glaring at the few military personnel in the area - new, all of them, otherwise, they would have known better than to keep watching - and generally behaving like a military commander who hadn’t just had his ass handed to him by a woman who was twelve years his junior and at least seventy pounds lighter. And yeah, Teyla did that to him every other day, twice on Sundays, but she did that to everyone else, too, including Ronon. Keller, on the other hand - Keller was kind of embarrassing.
He stalked away from the Mess, ignoring the twinge coming from his left hip in favor of the agony of his jaw, and headed toward the labs. Keller clearly wasn’t in the mood to explain herself, so Rodney could do the honors. John’s jaw shifted from sharp pain to a deep, throbbing ache just as he got to the main lab, so he kept it as immobile as possible and asked Rodney, “Want to tell me why your girlfriend just broke my jaw?”
“I -” Rodney looked startled, vaguely proud and completely guilty, which meant there was no way in hell John would believe him if he said he didn’t know. “Really? She broke it? Wow.”
“Not the point, Rodney. What is the point is why she slugged me just now. And I’m thinking you know something about that.” Christ, that little speech hurt like a son of a bitch. John hoped Rodney wouldn’t drag this out any longer than necessary. He also hoped Keller was nowhere near the infirmary when he finally went down there to get his jaw checked out. The mood she was in, she’d probably try to break something else of his. Like his nose. Or maybe his balls.
“I might have told her about -”
The bad feeling that had been hovering at the back of John’s mind since Keller decked him slid down into his stomach and flared out from there. “Told her about what, exactly?”
“A-about the blow job you gave me the other -”
“We said we were never going to talk about that again! Fuck!” He really needed to remember not to use his jaw so much. John cupped his hand to his face and glared at Rodney. “You promised.”
“I did no such thing! And anyway, what was I supposed to do?” Rodney’s hands started to get agitated, moving around like Rodney was trying to write equations into the air. “She was going down on me this morning, and honestly? I hate to say it, but she just wasn’t that great. I think maybe it’s because she doesn’t have a dick and doesn’t know how -”
“McKay!” he hissed, but it was no good. Rodney kept talking.
“- to work it the way a man does. On the other hand, it’s possible that you give such incredibly fantastic blow jobs that you’re skewing the curve for everyone else. I have to ask, do you even have a gag reflex?”
And just like that, John flashed back with technicolor scent and full surround sound to what it felt like to have Rodney’s heavy cock on his tongue, the way it throbbed as Rodney’s heart rate soared, the way it hit the back of his throat, the way Rodney’s musk smelled so damn good. Rodney had been bitter on John’s tongue, but the flavor had grown on him - kind of the way Rodney had - and John couldn’t get enough of it. He’d sucked Rodney down and kept going for too long after Rodney came, stopping only when Rodney tugged hard on his hair to make him let go.
John tended toward greediness on occasion.
“Yes, I have a gag reflex,” he said as calmly as he could, even though he really wanted to kill Rodney right at that moment. “What I don’t have is the slightest idea why you decided to tell Keller about it.”
“Really? Because I swear you didn’t have one the other night.” Rodney’s eyes grew wide, and he snapped his fingers at John. “Oh, hey! It was the booze, wasn’t it?” He blinked a couple of times and deflated. “Oh. Booze. I get it.”
“Rodney, focus! Why did you tell Keller?”
“It was - and - you -” By this time, Rodney’s hands had stuttered to a halt and dropped onto his lap. For a brief, insane moment, John thought about nudging them to get Rodney talking again, but it turned out he didn’t have to. “You seemed so happy the other night, and - and I was happy, and I just -”
This was the point where John was supposed to say yes, it was the booze and that Rodney had shot down a perfectly good relationship for no reason. It was the truth, because without the booze, John never would have faceplanted into Rodney’s lap the way he had. On the other hand, it was also a lie, and Rodney, who saved John from boredom, Wraith and his own stupidity, deserved better than a lie.
“It wasn’t -” God, John sucked at this. He was better at showing than telling, but thanks to Keller, he couldn’t exactly go down on Rodney to prove his undying - something or other. “It wasn’t the booze. Not just the booze,” he finally managed to spit out.
“It wasn’t?” Rodney blinked a couple of times, and just like that, his uncertainty rolled off like it had been sitting on Teflon, which - yeah. It made sense that Rodney’s ego was made of Teflon, and John hated like hell to feed it, but right now, honesty was the better part of valor.
“No.”
“So then, you and me?” And there went Rodney’s hands again, describing the arc of him and John, his mouth filling in the details. “I don’t know much about being with guys, so you’ll have to teach me, but I’m a fast learner. Especially when it comes to blow jobs.” Rodney blinked rapidly. “There’ll be more blow jobs, right?”
“Not for a while.”
“What? Why not?” Rodney whining like an eight-year-old shouldn’t have been as hot as it turned out to be.
“Broken jaw, remember?”
“Oh. Damn.”