Castaways by spider_empress (crossing challenge)
Title: Castaways
Author: spider_empress
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,133
Genre: Humor, Crossover
A/N: I've been thinking about this since I watched a Gilligan's Island where Gilligan gets struck by lightning and becomes magnetic. The entire time I heard Rodney's voice screeching in my head that that would never happen. Happy to actually write it!
Summary: Sheppard's team runs into some of the Gilligan's Island castaways taking a jaunt through the stargate.
“Oh, no, no, no! That’s impossible!” Rodney yelled in disbelief as the Stargate closed behind the strangers. A young man with a red shirt and white bucket hat appeared to be peddling two beautiful young women in a bamboo-stick vehicle. The women were squealing in delight as the vehicle went in circles while an older man in a white shirt walking beside the contraption tried calling out directions.
“Rodney,” Sheppard began in his tight - I sense something is horribly wrong - voice, “please tell me I’m not seeing Gilligan, Ginger, The Professor, and Mary Anne.”
“You know these people?” Ronon asked with a grunt of surprise as he took in the strangers’ antics. He lowered his pistol, as they had all been prepared to face Wraith when the gate had opened.
“I do not recognize these people from Atlantis, or from our travels. Nor have I seen a vehicle of this sort before. It appears to be a crude imitation of a ‘car’ from your Earth, does it not?” Teyla asked calmly, intrigued by this new development.
“Yeah, it’s Gilligan’s Island, it’s what they do,” Sheppard explained with a vague wave of his hand.
“I see.”
“This is so not happening! I refuse to believe that Gilligan’s Island is real! It’s just not! Even in the Pegasus Galaxy!” Rodney was obviously getting very excited and his vehemence finally attracted the strangers’ attention.
“Gilligan! Gilligan! Look! It’s people!” the smaller dark haired woman screamed with open glee, pointing excitedly.
“Oh, Professor! People!” the taller woman breathed to the man in the white shirt who strolled eagerly towards the Lanteans. After a few more circles the vehicle soon followed.
“Uh, hi there,” Sheppard began. This was a bit of an unusual first contact, even for them. “I’m Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis, this is Dr. McKay, Teyla, and Ronon,” he waved around indicating his team as they were introduced.
“A colonel, did you hear that Ginger? How exciting!”
“Why hello there, sir,” Ginger purred at Sheppard, causing him to squirm, Rodney to harrumph, Ronon to grin and Teyla to roll her eyes. Every. Single. Time.
“Atlantis? I am not aware of that location. Are you part of the United States? Or perhaps a subdivision of the Polynesian islands?” The Professor began as they all introduced themselves.
“No,” Rodney burst in, frustrated with the complete disregard this entire situation had for reality. “Atlantis as in Atlantis, lost city of the Ancients, located in the Pegasus Galaxy. How can you possibly not have realized that you’ve just stepped through a Stargate which allowed you to travel through a wormhole to another galaxy? Not only that,” Rodney snapped, gesturing wildly and pointing at the Professor emphatically, “You’re fictional! You can’t be here!”
“Well how do you like that, he thinks we’re fictional!” Ginger huffed prettily to Mary Anne.
“Now that’s not very nice, is it?” Mary Anne agreed, pouting. Ronon’s smile grew.
“Oh, did you bump your head? We’ve all done that. Once I got hit on the head and turned into a radio. Then there was that one time that I thought I was a vampire. Or when the Skipper thought that Voodoo had turned me into a chimp. Or when Mary Anne thought she was Ginger. Or when…”
Teyla broke in, looking puzzled. “John, these people are here before us, now. We have not had any indication of alien activity. Are you quite certain that they are not real?”
The Professor raised his eyebrows. “Alien activity? I assure you miss, that if there was alien activity on earth we would be aware of it. Why, just 5 years ago President Kennedy charged our scientists with the goal of reaching the moon.
“Yes, yes, yes, we’re about 39 years past that. Catch up. The question is, where did you come from?” Rodney asked suspiciously.
The Professor blinked. “Why we came from the United States. We were on a tour of Hawaii when a storm came up. Due to our fearless crew, Gilligan, here,” who sloppily saluted and ended up almost toppling over the bamboo car, causing Ronon and Teyla to exchange looks of disbelief, “and the Skipper, we made it through safely but crash landed on an island. We have been unable to find a viable means of rescue since.”
“A three hour tour,” Sheppard couldn’t resist clarifying.
“Why, yes.”
“The Skipper! We must tell the Skipper! And Mr. and Mrs. Howell! I’ll go get them,” Gilligan cried, turning sharply and promptly falling down. Teyla grabbed his arm to help him up, though he almost succeeded in pulling her down also a few times.
“How do you plan to do that?” Rodney asked snidely, “As far as I know there’s no Gate address for Gilligan’s Island.”
“Oh, Gilligan, did you hear that? He named the island after you!” Mary Anne clapped her hands, grinning at Gilligan. Gilligan picked his hat up from where it’d fallen and put it back on, dumping a hatful of sand on himself.
“Great, the one thing I name and it’s already named,” Rodney muttered as Sheppard grinned.
“Come now, Rodney, let’s get these nice people back where they came from.”
“Oh Colonel, can’t you take us home with you?” Ginger asked, sidling up next the Sheppard. “All we want is to get back to civilization.”
“Uh, wish I could, but I don’t think I’d be able to explain you back home. I’m afraid you’ll just have to go back to where you came from.”
“Could you at least carry word of our location back to your people? If they could get a message to ours someone could come rescue us,” The Professor proposed.
“Sure,” Sheppard drawled, “that we can do.”
“Thank you. Well ladies, Gilligan, in that case I believe it is time for us to return with the good news to the Skipper and Mr. and Mrs. Howell. This way,” he about faced and headed back to the gate.
“Hey Rodney,” Sheppard said thoughtfully, “why don’t you go talk to the Professor about some of his inventions. Could be useful to know how to make a coconut into a radio.”
“Oh, yes because we’ve run into so many coconuts in our travels.”
“Well then, think about what you’ll be able to show Zelenka how to do,”
“Oh please, I have to show him how to do everything anyway,” Rodney began, but hurried after the Professor anyway asking question. Gilligan began to pedal Teyla and Ginger back to the gate while Ronon fell into step besides Mary Anne, a silly grin on his face as Mary Anne enthusiastically explained about the merits of sand in farm soil and told him about the time when she gained super sight from eating radioactive carrots. Sheppard shook his head. This was one for the record books.
Fin.
Author: spider_empress
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,133
Genre: Humor, Crossover
A/N: I've been thinking about this since I watched a Gilligan's Island where Gilligan gets struck by lightning and becomes magnetic. The entire time I heard Rodney's voice screeching in my head that that would never happen. Happy to actually write it!
Summary: Sheppard's team runs into some of the Gilligan's Island castaways taking a jaunt through the stargate.
“Oh, no, no, no! That’s impossible!” Rodney yelled in disbelief as the Stargate closed behind the strangers. A young man with a red shirt and white bucket hat appeared to be peddling two beautiful young women in a bamboo-stick vehicle. The women were squealing in delight as the vehicle went in circles while an older man in a white shirt walking beside the contraption tried calling out directions.
“Rodney,” Sheppard began in his tight - I sense something is horribly wrong - voice, “please tell me I’m not seeing Gilligan, Ginger, The Professor, and Mary Anne.”
“You know these people?” Ronon asked with a grunt of surprise as he took in the strangers’ antics. He lowered his pistol, as they had all been prepared to face Wraith when the gate had opened.
“I do not recognize these people from Atlantis, or from our travels. Nor have I seen a vehicle of this sort before. It appears to be a crude imitation of a ‘car’ from your Earth, does it not?” Teyla asked calmly, intrigued by this new development.
“Yeah, it’s Gilligan’s Island, it’s what they do,” Sheppard explained with a vague wave of his hand.
“I see.”
“This is so not happening! I refuse to believe that Gilligan’s Island is real! It’s just not! Even in the Pegasus Galaxy!” Rodney was obviously getting very excited and his vehemence finally attracted the strangers’ attention.
“Gilligan! Gilligan! Look! It’s people!” the smaller dark haired woman screamed with open glee, pointing excitedly.
“Oh, Professor! People!” the taller woman breathed to the man in the white shirt who strolled eagerly towards the Lanteans. After a few more circles the vehicle soon followed.
“Uh, hi there,” Sheppard began. This was a bit of an unusual first contact, even for them. “I’m Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis, this is Dr. McKay, Teyla, and Ronon,” he waved around indicating his team as they were introduced.
“A colonel, did you hear that Ginger? How exciting!”
“Why hello there, sir,” Ginger purred at Sheppard, causing him to squirm, Rodney to harrumph, Ronon to grin and Teyla to roll her eyes. Every. Single. Time.
“Atlantis? I am not aware of that location. Are you part of the United States? Or perhaps a subdivision of the Polynesian islands?” The Professor began as they all introduced themselves.
“No,” Rodney burst in, frustrated with the complete disregard this entire situation had for reality. “Atlantis as in Atlantis, lost city of the Ancients, located in the Pegasus Galaxy. How can you possibly not have realized that you’ve just stepped through a Stargate which allowed you to travel through a wormhole to another galaxy? Not only that,” Rodney snapped, gesturing wildly and pointing at the Professor emphatically, “You’re fictional! You can’t be here!”
“Well how do you like that, he thinks we’re fictional!” Ginger huffed prettily to Mary Anne.
“Now that’s not very nice, is it?” Mary Anne agreed, pouting. Ronon’s smile grew.
“Oh, did you bump your head? We’ve all done that. Once I got hit on the head and turned into a radio. Then there was that one time that I thought I was a vampire. Or when the Skipper thought that Voodoo had turned me into a chimp. Or when Mary Anne thought she was Ginger. Or when…”
Teyla broke in, looking puzzled. “John, these people are here before us, now. We have not had any indication of alien activity. Are you quite certain that they are not real?”
The Professor raised his eyebrows. “Alien activity? I assure you miss, that if there was alien activity on earth we would be aware of it. Why, just 5 years ago President Kennedy charged our scientists with the goal of reaching the moon.
“Yes, yes, yes, we’re about 39 years past that. Catch up. The question is, where did you come from?” Rodney asked suspiciously.
The Professor blinked. “Why we came from the United States. We were on a tour of Hawaii when a storm came up. Due to our fearless crew, Gilligan, here,” who sloppily saluted and ended up almost toppling over the bamboo car, causing Ronon and Teyla to exchange looks of disbelief, “and the Skipper, we made it through safely but crash landed on an island. We have been unable to find a viable means of rescue since.”
“A three hour tour,” Sheppard couldn’t resist clarifying.
“Why, yes.”
“The Skipper! We must tell the Skipper! And Mr. and Mrs. Howell! I’ll go get them,” Gilligan cried, turning sharply and promptly falling down. Teyla grabbed his arm to help him up, though he almost succeeded in pulling her down also a few times.
“How do you plan to do that?” Rodney asked snidely, “As far as I know there’s no Gate address for Gilligan’s Island.”
“Oh, Gilligan, did you hear that? He named the island after you!” Mary Anne clapped her hands, grinning at Gilligan. Gilligan picked his hat up from where it’d fallen and put it back on, dumping a hatful of sand on himself.
“Great, the one thing I name and it’s already named,” Rodney muttered as Sheppard grinned.
“Come now, Rodney, let’s get these nice people back where they came from.”
“Oh Colonel, can’t you take us home with you?” Ginger asked, sidling up next the Sheppard. “All we want is to get back to civilization.”
“Uh, wish I could, but I don’t think I’d be able to explain you back home. I’m afraid you’ll just have to go back to where you came from.”
“Could you at least carry word of our location back to your people? If they could get a message to ours someone could come rescue us,” The Professor proposed.
“Sure,” Sheppard drawled, “that we can do.”
“Thank you. Well ladies, Gilligan, in that case I believe it is time for us to return with the good news to the Skipper and Mr. and Mrs. Howell. This way,” he about faced and headed back to the gate.
“Hey Rodney,” Sheppard said thoughtfully, “why don’t you go talk to the Professor about some of his inventions. Could be useful to know how to make a coconut into a radio.”
“Oh, yes because we’ve run into so many coconuts in our travels.”
“Well then, think about what you’ll be able to show Zelenka how to do,”
“Oh please, I have to show him how to do everything anyway,” Rodney began, but hurried after the Professor anyway asking question. Gilligan began to pedal Teyla and Ginger back to the gate while Ronon fell into step besides Mary Anne, a silly grin on his face as Mary Anne enthusiastically explained about the merits of sand in farm soil and told him about the time when she gained super sight from eating radioactive carrots. Sheppard shook his head. This was one for the record books.
Fin.