Three + Two = Five.
TITLE: Three Things Rodney McKay Probably Shouldn't Know & Two He Really Wishes He Did.
AUTHOR: Jenn (stargated)
SPOILERS: Erm... I guess you should at least be as far as Season 3 (which is where I'm at right now), although I don't think I give too much away I say that just to be on the safe side.
PAIRING: A slight hint at McShep, if you want it to be.
SUMMARY: This all started because of two things: So You Think You Can Dance, and a story that I made up about a friend of mine one time which has been translated to Ford. They're drabbles, not lengthy at all, and I don't think I have a proper feel for the Atlantis characters yet so my apologies if this doesn't feel right. It's meant to be silly more than anything else. This is also the first thing I've finished in regards to any Stargate fanfic, so here goes nothing.
He turned around and knew the expression on his face had to be one of shock when he saw Ronon throw his arms in the air and move his hips rhythmically from side to side. Not that it ended there. Knees bent, a little shimmy down and up, followed by something that closely resembled a move John Travolta pulled off in Saturday Night Fever. It was a moment before the Satedan noticed he had an audience, but the transition back to stern faced warrior was instantaneous once he did.
"Not a word."
Rodney gulped, and nodded, hard pressed to keep from smirking though he did try. He wouldn't say anything; after all, who would believe it? He could only hope that someone else- John, Elizabeth, even Radek or Carson was around the next time Ronon won a game of Solitaire. That happy dance was worth the repeat.
-+-
"The Spice Girls?!"
Carson hiccuped, one finger moving none to steadily to cover his mouth as he "Shh'ed" Rodney. The doctor lifted a silver cup with his other hand, draining the contents before posing his argument. "They've a largely unappreciated talent. Their- hic Their biggest mistake was trying to keep up after Ginger left."
"You've said some stupid things, Carson, but this one takes the cake. No wonder you stuck with medicine. Anyone with half a brain knows better than to listen to the Spice Girls."
He received another hiccup in response. "You keep that up, Rodney, and I'll tell- hic Sheppard about your thing for Michael Bolton."
Never let it be said that Rodney McKay can't learn when to keep his mouth shut.
-+-
Even to this day Rodney found it odd that he had been the one to clean out Ford's stuff. After all, he was never particularly close to the crazy enzyme addict, and the lieutenant probably wouldn't have wanted the socially retarded scientist picking through his personal effects if he had a say in the matter. And there was still the matter of those frilly pink panties that had never been resolved. Alone amongst a sea of uniforms, boxer briefs, and black tee-shirts, Rodney had hoped beyond hope that some buxom blonde was missing them, but upon further questioning learned that Ford had been woefully single (almost as woefully as Rodney himself) for almost a year before the Atlantis expedition began. The fact that he found the entire soundtrack to Rocky Horror Picture Show and Funny Girl on the iPod left behind didn't help Ford's case either.
-+-
Sometimes when Sheppard looks at him, he gets this "Mona Lisa" smile that leaves Rodney completely bewildered and moderately hopeful. Hopefulness that's entirely in vain, of course, considering John is a modern day Kirk, and Rodney is... well... Rodney. Still, he can't help wondering why the lieutenant colonel would want to mess with his mind, but when asked his smile merely increases and is usually followed by impending death threats regarding whatever situation they're currently in at the moment.
-+-
He shouldn't have drank the rest of that bottle he stole from Carson. He especially shouldn't have drank the rest of that bottle with Teyla. Teyla, ever the diplomat, refused to tell him what he said to her that night but promised he was quite the gentleman. Apparently he had assured her that she wasn't his type, which was true- after all, he tended to lean towards shaggy blondes with quick wits. At least, that's what he'd been saying for years. Rodney must have said something else to Teyla, though, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what. And the only thing she said to him before leaving the table the next morning at breakfast was "don't drop the soap", which left him speechless and more than a little confused for the next half hour.. to say the least.