"Three Wishes"
For the Fairy Tale Challenge
Character: John and Ronon
Spoilers: I suppose if one hasn’t seen Runner it would be a spoiler just to meet Ronan…so there you are.
Rating: G
Word Count: 3,031
A/N: I haven’t written SGA before. I’m sure there are lapses you all can council me on.
Three Wishes
By the time Ronon stepped through the gate on P3M-736 he’d been running a long time. All of the little comforts he’d taken for granted on Sateda were gone, forcing the once-city boy to learn to survive on what he could forage. Here, on this sun poisoned world he crouched in the dim cave he’d taken shelter in, pondering what he’d need to get through the night. A fire was out of the question. The Wraith wouldn’t be far behind him: no sense advertising his location. But some light would be welcome. The pitch darkness of this world at night was unnerving…calling the ghosts of friends long dead back to him, making what rest he could find impossible.
He cast about the cave, hoping to find something discarded by the last person seeking sanctuary away from the blazing sun. There were some items strewn across the rocky floor; something must be usable. His boot hit something metallic. What? Ronon bent to paw through the debris. Huh. It definitely was metal. A gravy boat? An old- fashioned oil lamp? Ronon shook it gently to see if any oil was inside. Nope.
He idly scratched at the accumulated filth with his thumbs. Okay, no oil, no light. Still, the metal itself may have some resale value once he got off this planet. A few coins would get him a coat if he wasn’t too picky about smells. Ronon huffed. He’d had to adjust what smells he found offensive so many times over the last seven years that he didn’t have any real standards when it came to personal hygiene anymore. Any coat would be better than the lack he faced now. So he rubbed a bit harder, trying to determine just what the metal was under the grime.
“Warm” Ronon grunted aloud. The not-quite-a-gravy-boat was growing warmer in his hands than the rubbing would warrant. “Huh.” Wow. Two words spoken aloud. That was more than then he would normally speak in an entire day. “Hot!” he yelped, dropping the offending too-bad-it’s-not-a-lamp onto the bumpy ground.
Smoke started to curl towards the cave ceiling, growing thicker by the second. Ronon stepped farther into the dimness of the cave, putting as much space between him and the unknown table implement as possible. Not that he’d ever admit it (even to himself) but the smoke was scary. It kept pouring out of the nearly-an-oil-lamp until it looked almost solid and, well…man-shaped. He had truly been alone too long.
“Hey!” the smoke said. Okay. The smoke could talk. Only it really looked far more man-like and not so much like smoke now. A man a bit shorter than Ronon with long limbs and narrow shoulders.
“I could take him.” Ronon thought to himself. It made him feel surer of himself, safer somehow, to know he could kick the smoke guy’s ass if he had to.
“Who are you?” Wow. Ronon was really experiencing a tide of verbal diarrhea. It was one of those days.
“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” said the smoke guy. “And watch how you handle my digs, buddy. It was a rough ride and a hard landing there!” He made a sort-of gesture towards the could-have-been-a-gravy-boat that really was more of a shrug. He looked up at Ronon with narrowed eyes, “We should talk. You are the new owner of the lamp, and as such you get three wishes.”
Ha! It WAS a lamp! Ronon was both glad and concerned. He could still figure out what small metal objects were but he was imagining smoke guys living in them. He was clearly, clearly in a world of hurt here and didn’t really know what he should do about it.
“You live in there?” Ronon asked, shifting a foot towards the lamp. (Really, it looked more like a gravy boat. Maybe the smoke guy inhaled too much.) “How do you fit in there? It’s kind of small.”
The smoke guy looked at Ronon for a moment, considering. “If I were you,” he started; gesturing to encompass the cave they stood in, “I wouldn’t make rude remarks about other people’s housing, you know?” Again, smoke guy shrugged. “Like I said, you’ve got three wishes. You can pretty much have what ever you want. There are a few, minor caveats but they almost never come up. We’ll cover those if we have to later.” Smoke guy looked at him expectantly.
“So. What’s your first wish?”
“Wish?” Ronon didn’t think he should be encouraging himself to hallucinate further, but he’d been alone for a long time and company, even imagined company was welcome.
“You do know the story of the lamp, right?” Smoke guy looked a little pissed off. “You rub the lamp, you become the new owner of the lamp, I, as the resident of the lamp grant you three wishes. Choose wisely, ‘cause I can’t undo what ever you wish for without using another one of your wishes. It’s in the by-laws. I’ll get you a copy.” Smoke guy elevated one of his mobile eyebrows. “Don’t leave me hanging here, fella. Wish number one??”
Ronon decided to just run with his rather vivid hallucination. It was much more entertaining than poking around in the filth looking for usable junk. Maybe the night wouldn’t be too unpleasant after all. If he was going to go crazy, at least the manifestation of his insanity was kind of fun.
“Do you have a name? I mean I can’t just keep calling you Smoke Guy.” Ronon wondered why he hadn’t just known the smoke guys name…he was his hallucination after all.
“You can call me John,” smoke guy said. “And you are…”
“Ronon. Ronon Dex of Seteda.” Ronon didn’t know why he’d thrown that in. It just seemed important somehow.
“Well, Ronon of Seteda, I’m still waiting to fulfill your first wish. Are you ready or do you want me to come back later?”
“I wish that you kill all the Wraith in the galaxy.” Ronon wished that with an intensity that startled John into backing up a few steps. “Every one. Every damn one!”
“Whoa, there buddy.” John held up placating hands. “No can do. Maybe we should have gone over those caveats after all.” He gave Ronan an apologetic shrug. “I can’t wipe out an entire race, no matter how much they piss you off. I’m not allowed that kind of latitude anymore.” Yeah, that was a whole other, bitter story.
“What good is it to have wishes if the important stuff is off limits?” Ronon shouted. “They attacked my people…killed my friends! You don’t understand,” Ronan tried again. “They really have to die!”
John ran his hand through his unruly hair, sighing. “I feel really bad about this buddy, but I’m gonna have to ding you for a wish plus I can’t do what you want. Really. I just can’t kill them all.” John found himself a seat on a rock and gestured for Ronan to find a seat next to him. “Be careful how you use your last two wishes. I can’t off anybody for you, or bring anyone back from the dead. I can’t turn back time or foretell the future. I can’t make people like you or get you a sex slave.” John paused, thinking. “I think that covers all the biggest of the No-No’s. Maybe you should take some time to think before you use the next one. We’ve got time.”
“Maybe you do, but the Wraith will be here pretty soon so my time is a little limited.” Ronon was really disappointed in his hallucination. It wasn’t as much fun as he’d thought it was going to be, even though John was personable enough. Sort of flirty. It was a nice touch. Ronon was surprised his subconscious would think of that. He’d never been interested in flirting with a guy before.
“Well, since it’s my fault that your first wish was a wash, I can at least help you out some.” He twisted his face a bit in thought. “Do they come out in bad weather?”
“Not usually. They don’t need too. They can always find me again.” Ronon was a little bitter himself.
“Okay.” John stood with a slap of his palms on his thighs. “I’ll make the weather bad enough to keep them away for the night.” Again with the scrunchy face, and thunder started to roll outside. John looked towards the mouth of the cave where cold, moist air was starting to blow and scrunched up his face again. Instantly there was a rock fall that partially blocked the entrance, keeping the cold at bay. John made one of his vague gestures at the cold fire pit someone left behind and just as quickly as the rock fall, a merry fire burst forth.
Satisfied, John dusted off his hands. “That should keep you through the night. Have a snack, hit the sack. I’ll check back with you in the morning.” With that, John became less John-like and more smoke like…oozing back into the lamp-that-wasn’t-really-useful-as-a-lamp. When all the smoke had slipped inside, the lamp righted itself with a little hop. John’s voice drifted up, as though from great distance, “And mind your feet! No more knocking me around!”
Ronon bent, lifting the lamp carefully. He set it on the rock that John had been sitting on, figuring it would be safe there. He turned to see what else he could use in the cave to make himself comfortable and stopped with a snort of surprise.
A table, comfy chair and a bed! A real bed! Food? He smelled food! Ronon crossed to the table. Sure enough, a meal was spread out. Meat, vegetables and bread. Ronan wolfed it down. By the Ancestors, so good. Exhaustion was making the edges of his vision swim, and he knew he was foolish to lie down. It was an hallucination. An incredible hallucination, but an hallucination nonetheless. To sleep now would invite the Wraith to feed on him. Still, there was no way he could keep his eyes open another minute. He stretched out on the bed and couldn’t contain his moan at feeling the soft mattress under him. It had been so long! Ronon was asleep before he could force himself to sit up again.
Gray light was leaking through the cave opening before Ronon opened his eyes again. He’d slept completely through the night. He cursed his foolishness while battling with the warm comforter that had some how materialized during the night. He looked at it with a sinking sort of dread.
“Don’t panic.” Ronon spun around at John’s words. He was certain that he had not been slouching against the cave wall just a moment ago. “You looked cold…” John made a vague gesture at the covers on the bed. “I just added another layer.” His smile narrowed his eyes, as he added, “No charge!”
“Yeah, thanks.” Ronon had to figure out how John could sneak around so silently. It was more than a little spooky that he lost track of his own hallucination.
“How did you get here?” He figured a little intel wouldn’t be a bad thing. At John’s quirked eyebrow and pointed look at his house-that-was-probably-a-tea-pot he rephrased his question. “I mean here on this world. It seems kind of out of the way for…” here he groped for the right words, “someone like you.” He colored slightly at how lame he sounded, but he let the question stand.
John was silent for so long Ronon considered whether or not he should apologize for his curiosity. It was a relief when he finally looked at Ronon and started to speak.
“I screwed up.” John’s eyes refocused on something far, far away from the cave they stood in. Ronon waited for him to continue. “They were just kids, really. Just kids.” With a heavy sigh John dragged himself back to the present and peered closely at Ronon. “You sure you want to hear this?” He fidgeted, toeing the ground as though embarrassed. Seeing Ronon’s curiosity remained unabated, John heaved another sigh and sat down to continue.
“They wanted to see combat.” His eyes once again were seeing things that had occurred long ago. “They wanted to fly helicopters. They didn’t have any real clue what they were getting themselves into. They were just kids.”
“But you’re supposed to grant the wishes…not figure out if they’re the right ones. Right?” It was hard to look at the haunted look on John’s face. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Not then, no.” Here he gave another sheepish smile. “When I saw how much trouble they’d got themselves into, I tried to undo the wish…make it like it didn’t happen. The Powers That Be didn’t like that. Didn’t like that at all.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t do that?” If he could but just didn’t want to undo Ronon’s bad first wish he was going to be pissed.
“I can. We all can. We’re just not supposed to.” Here he looked fully at Ronaon, as though willing him to understand, “My punishment was to be on a horrible little planet in a horrible little system where no one would come along and wish me free. It’s been a long time since anyone has owned the lamp…a really long time.”
“Wished you free?”
“It’s your lamp…well, whoever finds it owns it for their three wishes…understand?” John looked for confirmation. At Ronon’s nod he continued, “With the last of the owner’s wishes they have the ability to wish me free. Then I’m no longer in the lamp…I can go anywhere I want.”
“Anywhere.” It seemed kind of easy. Ronon wondered why he was still stuck in his nearly-a-watering-can.
“Well, there are some caveats for that too, but nothing I can’t handle.” John gave a wink and a smile. “You’ll see. It’s much harder than you might think to get what you really want with just three wishes. Lot’s of people have intended to free me, it just hasn’t worked out yet.” He looked earnest here, like he didn’t want Ronon to think badly of the dicks that had come and gone and left him imprisoned in the not-good-for-anything-piece-of-shit-lamp. “It’s cool. I get it, I really do.”
Ronon didn’t. He didn’t get it at all. “I’ll free you. I’ll free you right now!”
John’s smile was pleased but sort of sad. “Can’t, big guy. You’ve got two wishes left. You gotta use your last one on me, if you’re going to. Don’t let it keep you up nights. It’s not your problem, it’s mine.”
Ronon didn’t want to leave it there, but he could see that a change of subject was in order. “Where would you go?”
“I’m not really sure…just that I’d want to be far away from here!” They shared a laugh ‘cause “Duh” no one would choose to stay here. The far off, dreamy look was back on John’s face. “I’d like to go somewhere where I can help people. I mean that’s what I’ve tried to do for so long I don’t think I want to start a new career path!”
“Will I know you? I mean, when I wake up from this…what ever it is. Are you someone I know?” Ronon didn’t know why that was important to him, but it was.
“First off, you’re really not asleep or hallucinating. Second, no. Unfortunately, you don’t know me and you won’t remember me.” John’s gaze was fond, “It’s one of those caveats I have to deal with.”
“Oh.” Disappointing.
“It’s still raining…and cold. I wish I had a coat.” As soon as the words left Ronon’s mouth he knew he’d made a terrible mistake.
“Ronon!” John hissed.
“Shit! I didn’t mean to say that!” Ronon could have kicked himself for the stupid slip of his tongue.
“Here.” John stepped forward, handing a long, leather coat to Ronon. “At least this time you got something you can use.” Seeing how distressed Ronon was, John made a try for comfort. “S’Okay. Really. I warned you how hard it was to get these things right.” He patted Ronon’s arm awkwardly, really…comforting people just wasn’t something he was good at. “We’re good, it’s cool. Just think out your last wish really carefully. I can’t undo them…don’t blow it on Mai Tai’s or Cheeto’s.”
Ronon wrapped himself in his new coat, still smarting from his stupidity. He sank down to the rocky floor, hoping it would open up and swallow him. Not that he was going to say THAT out loud.
“Why don’t you get some sleep. I can keep things the way they are for a few more hours. You figure out what you need the most to get by until you find some help, and I’ll give it to you. Okay?” John waited for Ronon’s nod before giving him one more awkward pat. “I’ll check back with you in a couple of hours.”
With that, John’s solid form shifted back into the Smoke Guy from before, slipping silently into his too-bad-it-wasn’t-a-gravy-boat like he’d never been standing in front of Ronon at all. Ronon transferred his gaze to the rain outside. No way was he going to sleep. He had too much to think about.
“Hey, buddy. You okay?” Seriously! Ronon was getting sick of John sneaking up on him like that! He was so lost in thought he hadn’t realized how much time had past, but outside the rock fall what little light there had been was starting to fade.
“I’m good.” He was. He knew exactly what he needed to wish for. He was confident he could get the words out without screwing it up further. The decision felt good; felt right. He was ready.
“You want to tell me your third wish?” To John’s credit, he didn’t seem to be holding Ronon’s mistake against him. He seemed perfectly okay with the fact that he’d go back into his nearly-a-lamp and wait maybe for years for the next person to pick it up. Ronon wasn’t okay with that at all.
“Yeah. I’m ready.” Ronon squared his shoulders, spearing John with a look.
“I wish you free.”