At least not today (family challenge)
Title: At least not today (Family challenge)
Author: less_star
Characters: John, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney
Spoilers: none
Rating: G
Word count: about 1500
Disclainer: Other people own everything you recognize.
Summary: Looking back, you see your parents in a different way.
A/N: Title is a line (the last) from “Don’t look back in anger” by Oasis.
At least not today
To go with his father to the office is a treat. Especially today when Dave is sick and it’s just the two of them. They take the BMW, no driver, and John gets to sit in front (“Don’t tell your mother, OK!”)
When you sit in the front seat it feels as if the car is going faster and his dad has the radio on and they sing along not caring if they know the words or not. John gets to change gears when the road is empty. His dad think stick shift is better than automatic and so does John. He’s told John that European cars are better but that’s a secret and he can’t tell anyone. John’s never going to tell.
They pass a large gray building on the outskirts of town and his father points and says that that’s where your grandfather started his first business. John knows, his dad tells him everytime they go into town but he likes to hear it all the same.
At the office he shakes miss Simpson’s hand and answers nice when she asks how old he is. She ruffles his hair and says to his dad “You’re going to have to shake girls out of this one’s clothes when he’s older” and his dad looks pleased.
He sits at the conference table, quietly drawing pictures and not interrupting anything. His dad makes phone calls and looks at papers that miss Simpson brings. Mr Philips comes in and John shakes his hand and answers nice when he asks how old he is.
He’s just started on his second space ship when his dad gets angry. John knows because his voice goes sharp. It happens quickly, it usually does and John feels his insides turn cold. He continues drawing and tries not to listen and then he’s just staring at his spaceship, thinking hard that he doesn’t want to hear but it never works. His dad’s yelling at mr Philips now and John feels like crying.
He sits in the back seat on the way home. They pass the gray building without comment and the radio stays off.
ÅÅÅ
Teyla’s father is good with people. He can make any stranger feel at home and is himself at home wherever he takes his shoes off, whether it’s in the village upstream or on a world so far away that the stars are different.
Teyla loves to go with him. And somewhere inside she knows that she, too has that same ability. It makes her feel good, the knowledge that she is like her father.
When guests come to their home her mother smiles and greets them. Then she goes into the kitchen. Her mother rarely goes to other worlds but she likes to go into the forest. Teyla has gone with her but she doesn’t much care for it. Her mother will pick some fruits or flowers and then sit for a long time, looking at a waterfall or just the treetops. Sitting still makes Teyla’s legs itch and the forest feels so empty without other people. She’s relieved when the shadows lengthen and it’s time to return.
She’s fourteen when her mother dies, nearly a grown-up and she’s still surprised at the hollow feeling. Her father looks lost, bewildered like she’s never seen him. He will excuse himself in the middle of a conversation to go away for awhile, alone. Teyla thinks at lot about all the days she declined to go walking with her mother, days that now seem wasted to her.
Six months later spring has come and one day her father suggests they take a walk in the forest, just the two of them. They walk in silence, stopping in a clearing to eat. Afterwards Teyla lies down to look at the treetops and the clouds. It quiet, the kind of forest-quiet that’s somehow full of life.
“Mother liked this.”
“I know.” Her father shifts a bit to lie down too, takes her hand. He swallows. “I used to go with her, when we were young, but I always found it…a little lonely, I think. I was nervous about telling her but she just smiled and said she was just as happy going alone.”
“I miss her.” It’s hard to speak without crying.
“Me too.” It’s almost a whisper, maybe her father is close to tears as well.
They stay in the forest until it’s nearly dark.
ÅÅÅ
The light is wrong somehow and Ronon can’t sleep. After turning in bed for a little while he gets up to try and find out what’s wrong. He slips quietly from the room, careful not to wake his siblings. His little sister has dropped her stuffed gnarush and he stops to pick it up and put it on her pillow.
His father is sitting on the steps in front of their house, a light beside him and a mug in his hand. He’s still in his work clothes, the red dust from the mine covering him, making him look a little bit like a stranger. His free hand is rubbing at his knee, the one that doesn’t straighten properly anymore.
Ronon can smell the drink. Strong, only for grown-ups but his father never drinks to the point where he’s loud or angry, like some of the other men do. It just makes him smile broader, speak more than he usually does.
“Ro-ro, I didn’t hear you. Come here!” He’s too big to be on his father’s lap and the dust will get on his night-shirt, but no-one’s here to see it and the dust is everywhere anyway.
The night is quiet and he’s sleepy now, with his father behind him, humming a slow song at first then lost in silent thought.
“Do you like school?” The question makes little sense. It’s early in the summer and the holiday will last forever.
“Sure.” He does. Mostly because his friends are there and he can play tag the wraith during break but the other things are alright too.
His father tightens his grip. “Don’t go into mines, son! It breaks you. You can be, be a scholar, learn the formal writing, anything you want. Not the mines Ro-ro!“ His voice is broken like Ronon’s rarely heard it.
“I’m strong.”
His father laughs into his hair. “I know you are. Just…I was strong too.”
He falls asleep outside and is carried to bed. His mother makes no fuss over a little dust in the house the next day.
ÅÅÅ
Shouting is normal. Loud voices and angry word are common. He never has any trouble falling asleep in the midst of it. Quiet nights he sleeps uneasily.
His mom went out to a special party without him, without dad. She was wearing a dress, asked him if he thought she looked good while she was painting her nails. He told her no, you look too stylish and dad got angry but she just laughed and looked at her nails.
They have soup for dinner and then there’s piano practice and then bed. The apartment is quiet and he tosses and turns.
When he’s sure that his dad’s sleeping he turns on the light and gets his plans for a time machine out. He wants to travel in time more than anything, well maybe he wants a bike a little more but there’s nothing he can do to make that happen. He can’t find work for dad.
He wakes with papers on his face to a strange sound from the bathroom. He listens for awhile, waiting to see if there will be yelling, but dad seems to be sleeping still.
His mom is sitting on the bathroom floor, in the dark. The strange sound is her sobbing. She’s not scared when he turns the light on, she doesn’t even look up. The dress is pink, with swirls in many colors. Her nails are still red and her face is all teary and snotty. She should blow her nose but doesn’t seem to realize it. He gets her a tissue and then she looks at him and smiles with half her mouth.
“Didn’t mean to wake you.”
He sits beside her and tries to work it out. A special party for people mom went to school with. Mom went to a school for numbers, not music like his dad.
“Were people mean to you at school?” That would make sense.
Mom laughs a little. “No, I used to like it there.” She looks down. “I was sad when I had to quit.”
“They can make you quit school?” This is new and worrying information. He’ll never get the time machine to work without some sort of power source, probably somthing nuclear and…
“It’s …it’s” But she doesn’t finish her explanation, instead she puts her arm around him and pulls him close. He’s still wondering about the whole school thing but it feels nice and he can ask again later.
“Mer, would you like something to eat?”
“Sure.”
“Come on, then.” He’s almost sad to get up, which is strange because the floor is cold and hard.
Afterwards he falls asleep easily.
End