Diplomatic Relations by Rattlecatcher (Folklore Challenge, Amnesty Challenge)
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS AND THE RIGHT OF RETURN: PROLOGUE
Title: Diplomatic Relations and the Right of Return: Prologue
Author: rattlecatcher
Rating: Er… PG-13? (Language, eh, the kids hear worse on television, right?)
No Spoilers
Word Count: +/- 1030
Notes:
I think it’s safe to say that only under amnesty am I going to be posting here for a while. This is the beginning of a much longer story that’ll probably be finished in another few decadesyears.
Also, um... deep apologies for posting, editing, editing, deleting, posting, and editing again. This series of tubes confuses me at times.
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS AND THE RIGHT OF RETURN: PROLOGUE
There is an old story in the Pegasus galaxy that goes by many names. The Athosians know it as 'Perhaps That Is So.' A man's kuvin runs away -
"What's a kuvin?" Sheppard asks. Teyla and Ronon look at each other across the fire.
"Like those animals in the story last night," Teyla says.
"Only with six legs," Ronon adds.
They had, over McKay's objections, watched "Back to the Future 3."
"Chickens?"
"Horses, you moron."
"Chicken's what we're eating," Ronon says, and McKay rolls his eyes again.
"It's turkey. Or it's supposed to be," he adds, because fair's fair, turkey chili and chicken stew, once they're stamped MRE, don't have a lot of difference between them.
Teyla starts again.
A man’s kuvin runs away -
Sheppard muses that a six-legged turkey would be a great idea and McKay says this would disrupt the economies of something he calls renaissance fairs.
Teyla starts again.
A man's kuvin runs away, and his neighbors say, "Oh, what terrible luck!" "Perhaps that is so," says the man.
The next day, the kuvin returns with five more kuvins, females all. "Oh, what good fortune!" the neighbors say. "Perhaps that is so," says the man.
On the following morning, the man's son begins to tame the females for riding, but is thrown off, and his leg is broken. His neighbors say, "Oh, what terrible luck!" "Perhaps that is so," says the man.
The next day, a warlord comes and conscripts all able-bodied young men and women for his army.
Teyla returns her posture from a story fire stance to its usual state. She realizes this is often the only way the Lanteans realize the story is over. Sheppard and McKay are both quiet, and both seem confused. Ronon makes no noise, no reaction. He's heard the story before, undoubtedly, on a thousand worlds, and he is already aware of the inadequacy of consequence to differentiate the morality of what's done by choice and what's done by chance.
McKay suddenly looks up, snapping his fingers.
"Five fat ponies!" he says, his tone animated, though it could have been because there was a number involved.
"Kuvins, Rodney. And what's with the fat comment? Teyla didn't say anything about them being --"
"No, it's a book, a children's book," McKay says. "I remember Jeannie getting it for her birthday. Probably still has it, too."
"It's the same story?" Teyla asks, and he nods.
"That's kind of weird, isn't it?" Sheppard asks. "Athosians having the same story as -- where's it from?"
"In Jeannie's book, it was a Chinese story, I think. But apparently a lot of stories are common to a lot of Earth cultures."
"And you know this how?"
McKay mutters something into his chili. He could be blushing, but the firelight isn't good and the moonlight is weak.
"Rodney?"
"Blind date," he repeats, each word distinct. "Lit major, studied folk tales to the exclusion of anything useful, or at least that was what she talked about for three solid hours."
Sheppard tunes out the lecture that follows ("Although had I known what good fortune it was to sit and listen to her drone on and on because hey, look! Here I am, twenty years later, getting it to pay off -- well, it sort of proves the story right, hmm?") and thinks about asking if he got any, not because he thinks that was a likely outcome, but because winding McKay up is almost like foreplay. He refrains, because Ronon's taking first watch.
(Six months earlier, Ronon remarked over breakfast on MX3-492 that he figured McKay would be noisy while fucking, but hearing Sheppard, well, that was a surprise. Teyla agreed, and McKay spilled the last of the coffee. Sheppard, fluent in McKay, could only shrug sorry in response to the glare that clearly stated I told you and I told you and I told you.)
Teyla is telling Rodney that some of the other scientists, the linguists and anthropologists, have asked for their stories and legends, the Athosian ones, and others that her people may have heard, to compare to Earth stories. The similarities of the Wraith to an earth legend makes them wonder of other creatures that may have been known to the Ancestors, and live only in stories on Earth.
"So what are ponies?" Ronon asks, and as a follow-up asks if they taste good.
The next day, the team returns through the Stargate, reporting that the energy signature on P3T-211 is the naquada generator Team 5 left a year ago with the Hennites. McKay takes great pains to point out to the gate technician the importance of using the correct symbols in the proper when entering the dialing sequence ("This way we can go to the right planet, like P2T-311, hmm? That sound like a correct outcome to you?"), and tells Doctor Adrianna Wilson that while neither of his own doctorates are in electrical engineering, it seems to McKay that the power requirements for the Hennites' water purification system may not have required a naquada generator, but rather might have been satisfied with the output from a battery taken from a junkyard Yugo. Colonel Sheppard recommends that Team 5 be the ones to retrieve the generator and replace it with a more appropriate power source. Seeing as they buried it in a clay pit, this will give them something to do before their scheduled leave back on Earth.
"That reminds me," McKay says in the debriefing, and taps his earpiece. "Wilson: I realize Ogawa's geological assessments lack verve and panache, but he did clearly stress that while the composition of P3T-211's clay deposits may feel and smell just like lime green Play-doh, they actually lack Play-doh’s insulating qualities, and instead seem to augment pulse waves. Which is, of course, why he's working on using it to improve our scanners. A naquada generator in that pit would light up a Wraith ship's long-range sensors like a ZedPM covered Christmas tree. McKay out."
He looks up and registers the expressions around the table. "What?"
"And to think you lose popularity contests," Sheppard says.
McKay starts up a +3 Glare of Withering, and then rethinks, allowing just a minor smirk.
“Perhaps that is so, Colonel,” he says, and leaves it at that.
Title: Diplomatic Relations and the Right of Return: Prologue
Author: rattlecatcher
Rating: Er… PG-13? (Language, eh, the kids hear worse on television, right?)
No Spoilers
Word Count: +/- 1030
Notes:
I think it’s safe to say that only under amnesty am I going to be posting here for a while. This is the beginning of a much longer story that’ll probably be finished in another few decadesyears.
Also, um... deep apologies for posting, editing, editing, deleting, posting, and editing again. This series of tubes confuses me at times.
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS AND THE RIGHT OF RETURN: PROLOGUE
There is an old story in the Pegasus galaxy that goes by many names. The Athosians know it as 'Perhaps That Is So.' A man's kuvin runs away -
"What's a kuvin?" Sheppard asks. Teyla and Ronon look at each other across the fire.
"Like those animals in the story last night," Teyla says.
"Only with six legs," Ronon adds.
They had, over McKay's objections, watched "Back to the Future 3."
"Chickens?"
"Horses, you moron."
"Chicken's what we're eating," Ronon says, and McKay rolls his eyes again.
"It's turkey. Or it's supposed to be," he adds, because fair's fair, turkey chili and chicken stew, once they're stamped MRE, don't have a lot of difference between them.
Teyla starts again.
A man’s kuvin runs away -
Sheppard muses that a six-legged turkey would be a great idea and McKay says this would disrupt the economies of something he calls renaissance fairs.
Teyla starts again.
A man's kuvin runs away, and his neighbors say, "Oh, what terrible luck!" "Perhaps that is so," says the man.
The next day, the kuvin returns with five more kuvins, females all. "Oh, what good fortune!" the neighbors say. "Perhaps that is so," says the man.
On the following morning, the man's son begins to tame the females for riding, but is thrown off, and his leg is broken. His neighbors say, "Oh, what terrible luck!" "Perhaps that is so," says the man.
The next day, a warlord comes and conscripts all able-bodied young men and women for his army.
Teyla returns her posture from a story fire stance to its usual state. She realizes this is often the only way the Lanteans realize the story is over. Sheppard and McKay are both quiet, and both seem confused. Ronon makes no noise, no reaction. He's heard the story before, undoubtedly, on a thousand worlds, and he is already aware of the inadequacy of consequence to differentiate the morality of what's done by choice and what's done by chance.
McKay suddenly looks up, snapping his fingers.
"Five fat ponies!" he says, his tone animated, though it could have been because there was a number involved.
"Kuvins, Rodney. And what's with the fat comment? Teyla didn't say anything about them being --"
"No, it's a book, a children's book," McKay says. "I remember Jeannie getting it for her birthday. Probably still has it, too."
"It's the same story?" Teyla asks, and he nods.
"That's kind of weird, isn't it?" Sheppard asks. "Athosians having the same story as -- where's it from?"
"In Jeannie's book, it was a Chinese story, I think. But apparently a lot of stories are common to a lot of Earth cultures."
"And you know this how?"
McKay mutters something into his chili. He could be blushing, but the firelight isn't good and the moonlight is weak.
"Rodney?"
"Blind date," he repeats, each word distinct. "Lit major, studied folk tales to the exclusion of anything useful, or at least that was what she talked about for three solid hours."
Sheppard tunes out the lecture that follows ("Although had I known what good fortune it was to sit and listen to her drone on and on because hey, look! Here I am, twenty years later, getting it to pay off -- well, it sort of proves the story right, hmm?") and thinks about asking if he got any, not because he thinks that was a likely outcome, but because winding McKay up is almost like foreplay. He refrains, because Ronon's taking first watch.
(Six months earlier, Ronon remarked over breakfast on MX3-492 that he figured McKay would be noisy while fucking, but hearing Sheppard, well, that was a surprise. Teyla agreed, and McKay spilled the last of the coffee. Sheppard, fluent in McKay, could only shrug sorry in response to the glare that clearly stated I told you and I told you and I told you.)
Teyla is telling Rodney that some of the other scientists, the linguists and anthropologists, have asked for their stories and legends, the Athosian ones, and others that her people may have heard, to compare to Earth stories. The similarities of the Wraith to an earth legend makes them wonder of other creatures that may have been known to the Ancestors, and live only in stories on Earth.
"So what are ponies?" Ronon asks, and as a follow-up asks if they taste good.
The next day, the team returns through the Stargate, reporting that the energy signature on P3T-211 is the naquada generator Team 5 left a year ago with the Hennites. McKay takes great pains to point out to the gate technician the importance of using the correct symbols in the proper when entering the dialing sequence ("This way we can go to the right planet, like P2T-311, hmm? That sound like a correct outcome to you?"), and tells Doctor Adrianna Wilson that while neither of his own doctorates are in electrical engineering, it seems to McKay that the power requirements for the Hennites' water purification system may not have required a naquada generator, but rather might have been satisfied with the output from a battery taken from a junkyard Yugo. Colonel Sheppard recommends that Team 5 be the ones to retrieve the generator and replace it with a more appropriate power source. Seeing as they buried it in a clay pit, this will give them something to do before their scheduled leave back on Earth.
"That reminds me," McKay says in the debriefing, and taps his earpiece. "Wilson: I realize Ogawa's geological assessments lack verve and panache, but he did clearly stress that while the composition of P3T-211's clay deposits may feel and smell just like lime green Play-doh, they actually lack Play-doh’s insulating qualities, and instead seem to augment pulse waves. Which is, of course, why he's working on using it to improve our scanners. A naquada generator in that pit would light up a Wraith ship's long-range sensors like a ZedPM covered Christmas tree. McKay out."
He looks up and registers the expressions around the table. "What?"
"And to think you lose popularity contests," Sheppard says.
McKay starts up a +3 Glare of Withering, and then rethinks, allowing just a minor smirk.
“Perhaps that is so, Colonel,” he says, and leaves it at that.