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Comments 24

anonymous October 4 2007, 12:31:57 UTC
I protest the notion that universal archetypes can be owned or controlled.
John Sheppard isn't a universal archetype. The Hero is, but JS is an expression of that archetype and that expression can be owned.

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anonymous October 4 2007, 18:15:49 UTC
What?

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anonymous October 5 2007, 14:46:30 UTC
Her disclaimer is wrong. She's saying that no one can own "universal archetypes" - which is true. But John Sheppard and Rodney McKay, the characters in her story, are not universal archetypes. They are specific characters created for a specific television show, and are owned by the creators etc. Her "I protest the notion" disclaimer, however true, is inapplicable. And it annoys me every time she uses it, because it's making a point that doesn't need to be made and isn't relevant anyway.

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erda_3 October 5 2007, 16:09:00 UTC
Ok, I'm a little disappointed that you feel the most important thing about my story is the disclaimer,which I really didn't put a lot of effort into, but it's actually not my intention to go around annoying people.

So how about a reasonable offer? I put my ID on this story and I'm responsible for it. Come out of anonymous mode and own your opinions and I'll stop using the disclaimer. Fair's fair.

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adafrog October 4 2007, 12:38:56 UTC
Oh wow, great story. Thanks.

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erda_3 October 7 2007, 13:28:21 UTC

I don’t think you have any idea how helpful it is that you took the time to comment on my story. I promised myself I’d write five stories before I worry about the difference between where I am as a writer and where I’d like to be, but I'm having trouble keeping to my resolve. It’s hard not to get discouraged. So thank you.

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adafrog October 8 2007, 19:10:36 UTC
I totally understand. {{hugs}}

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inthe_parlance October 5 2007, 00:20:14 UTC
Wow, good story! So John had that note all along, and when he was "keeping Borden happy" he saw that scar from the acid on his thigh. Good job.

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erda_3 October 7 2007, 13:28:49 UTC
I really appreciate your reading and commenting on my little story attempt. I’ve only been writing a short time, so your feedback means a lot to me. I think it may be particularly hard to start writing in a fandom like SGA because there are so many really fine writers here that it is intimidating to a beginner. I’m trying to cut myself some slack because this is only the third story I’ve ever written, but it’s hard for me not to focus on the flaws in this story and get downright neurotic about it to the point of feeling like I’ll never be able to write the kinds of stories I want, or say the things I want to say effectively.

I’m struggling with discriminating between saying so little the reader doesn’t understand the story and saying so much the reader has no space for themselves in the story. Of course it’s clear to me what is happening in the story, but I’m too close to it to know how clear it is to the reader. And I have a ways to go as a writer before I’m going to be able to get any decent beta help. So thanks.

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sorcerygenius October 18 2007, 11:32:34 UTC
Have you thought about getting a beta reader (if you don't have one already)? I'm not much of a writer myself (at all), but from what I've heard a lot of people find them helpful in figuring out whether an idea is coming across or not.

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sorcerygenius October 18 2007, 11:33:38 UTC
Oh, wait, now I see your second-to-last sentence in that comment. ::sigh:: I need to read more carefully.

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estel_angel October 7 2007, 16:37:06 UTC
Great story and all the fuss over the disclaimer is daft i think it is clever and it is a given that you dont own rights to the show. It could be classifed as flaming. Keep writing in this fandom i want to see more of it

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erda_3 October 9 2007, 15:04:29 UTC
Thank you. I'm going to keep trying.

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sorcerygenius October 18 2007, 11:50:38 UTC
I quite enjoyed this story, although I was a little fuzzy on why Borden had to die in order to save the future. At first I thought that he would have gotten Sheppard dishonourably discharged, but future!Rodney's note tells him to kill Borden even if it means dying himself or ending his career. Does Borden just somehow have a critical role at a critical moment (that we don't know the specifics of), and the only way to avoid the catastrophe is for Borden to already be dead ( ... )

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erda_3 October 22 2007, 00:07:53 UTC
I'm a little fuzzy on the plot details, too, unfortunately. I was focused on the McShep stuff and in too much of a hurry to get this to hang together. Borden is a saboteur in my mind, but I didn't really have it fleshed out.
Well, I'm hoping my writing will improve with practice.

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