Reasonable and Customary by darkrose & telesilla
Reasonable and Customary
Author: darkrosetiger & telesilla
Pairing Rodney/Ronon
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,889
Disclaimer: The SGA characters do not belong to me. Duh.
Summary: Ronon is determined to court Rodney in the proper Satedan way.
Notes: This is just a fairly lighthearted look at cultural differences and dating. The title is a medical/dental insurance term which we used here because we're weird that way. Our thanks to helens78 for her excellent beta-fu!
Aware that his mouth was hanging open, John closed it with a snap and continued staring at Ronon. "You want to...what?" he finally said, sure that there was some way to explain what he'd just been asked.
Ronon didn't quite roll his eyes. "I said, I want to court McKay, and I'm asking your permission," he repeated slowly. He wasn't quite sure what about that wasn't clear, but it was Sheppard, and he could be kind of slow on the uptake sometimes.
And yeah, that was what John thought Ronon had said; so much for having his ears checked. "Why McKay?" he blurted out and then regretted it instantly.
Ronon shrugged. "I like him. He's a pain in the ass, but he's smart and funny--usually not when he's trying to be--and he understands what's important." He smiled a little. "He's got nice eyes, too, and a really nice--"
Not sure if Ronon was about to say "ass" or "dick" and not really wanting to know which it was, John held up his hands. "Whoa there, the guy's a member of my team, I can't hear this."
He took a deep breath and tried again. "Okay, so obviously you think he's great; why not just tell him that? Why come to me?"
"Because...that's how it's done. On Sateda. Or...it was supposed to be. You like someone, you go to his--or her--parents and ask their permission, and if you're in the military, you get your Task Master's permission, and then your parents hire a go-between to arrange things, and then eventually you get to spend time together. It's the proper way to do it. Melena...we didn't. She thought it was a stupid, antiquated custom, and I didn't much care; I just wanted to be with her." Ronon sighed. "I want to do this right this time."
"But Rodney's not Satedan--I don't think he'll mind if you just...you know, ask him out," John said, but it was a weak effort. He knew a losing battle when he saw one, and anyway, he really hated it when Ronon referred to him as his "Task Master." It reminded him of the sort of kinky science fiction series he used to read as a teenager.
Ronon shook his head. "I don't want anyone to think I'm...implying anything, or that I don't respect him. I need to do it all properly."
It was on the tip of John's tongue to point out that no one on Atlantis was Satedan, but he managed to not say it. Have some damn tact, Shep. Besides, while he'd only admit it to himself, the idea of Ronon courting Rodney was kind of hilarious.
"Well, I don't really think you need my permission," he said. "But yeah, as long as it doesn't mess with the team dynamic, knock yourself out."
"You sure? I mean, you're not...um..." When he first came to Atlantis, Ronon had assumed Sheppard and McKay were lovers. He didn't think that any more, but it was so hard to tell with Earth people he figured he'd better ask.
"I'm not what?"
"You and McKay aren't..." Ronon gestured vaguely. "I didn't think you were, but..."
"Me? And Rodney?!" Honestly, it wasn't that John disliked Rodney--it had taken some time, but these days he liked Rodney fine--or even that he didn't think Rodney was attractive--Rodney did, in fact, have a nice ass--but Rodney was on his team, was one of his men, and John didn't go there. "Not so much."
Ronon frowned. "What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing," John said, still unable to believe they were having this conversation. "You have more patience than I do; even if I did get involved with people on my team, he and I would try to kill each other in the first month."
"Oh." That actually made sense. Ronon had certainly considered it more than once, especially at first. There was something about Rodney, though...he drove you crazy and then all of a sudden he was dying and you realized how much you were going to miss him. Ronon had decided on Rodney, and he wasn't going to add him to his list of things he regretted.
"So...anyway, yeah, you have permission to court him," John said, proud that he got it out without laughing. "Um...you do know that, while the SGC recruits open-minded people, some people on Earth don't approve of same-sex relationships?"
Ronon snorted. "I don't see what difference it makes--but if anyone has a problem with it, they're welcome to talk to me about it." He grinned.
"I'd pay good money to see that," John said. He took a deep breath and looked out over the ocean. "So, you ready to head back in, or was there something else?"
"No, that's it." Ronon looked over at Sheppard and smiled. "Thanks."
"Good," John muttered as he started the run back into the city. And that's my weird quotient for the day.
* * *
"Um...hi. Can I come in?" Ronon asked Elizabeth, hovering just outside her office door.
"Ronon," she said, smiling at him. "By all means, come in." Elizabeth was used to looking for subtle nuances in people's faces, and to her eye, Ronon looked just a little nervous. "Is anything wrong?" she asked after he'd settled in one of her chairs.
Ronon rubbed the back of his neck in a gesture he'd picked up from Sheppard. "I...um...I need to ask you something. About McKay. Rodney."
"Rodney?" While it was no longer all that common for people to come into her office and complain about Rodney, it did still happen. But surely if Ronon was having problems with Rodney, he'd go to John. "Rodney can be a bit difficult," she began.
"Huh? No--I mean, yes, he can be, but that's not what I wanted to ask about." Ronon took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter. "I'd like your permission to court him."
Grateful for every single lesson she'd learned in diplomacy, going all the way back to learning how to keep a straight face while blaming missing cookies on her little sister, Elizabeth smiled carefully. "And according to Sateden culture you need my permission?" she asked.
Relieved that Elizabeth seemed to understand, Ronon nodded. "Exactly. His parents aren't here, but I figured since he reports to you, I should ask you. I already talked to Colonel Sheppard--he's pretty much my taskmaster--and he said it was okay. I know you people do things differently, but it's just that on Sateda, if you didn't do it properly, then it was like you were saying that the person's...like you don't really respect him."
"I see," Elizabeth said. It's kind of sweet, she thought. If you can use that word about Ronon and Rodney. "Of course you have my permission," she said. "I don't know what Rodney would say to the idea that I can give that permission, but I'll leave that conversation up to you."
Ronon could see that Elizabeth was getting that look, the one that meant she was itching to interrogate him about Satedan courting and marriage customs. He stood up. "Thank you," he said, taking his leave as quickly as he could without being too horribly rude.
A little disappointed that she'd lost a chance to ask him some questions, Elizabeth watched him walk away. As she turned her computer toward her, she suddenly got a horrible attack of the giggles. Oh my God, I just stood in for Rodney's parents! I wonder if I have to give him away if they get married. The idea of Rodney and Ronon's wedding led to more suppressed laughter and she finally had to close her door and make the window/wall of her office opaque so she could laugh until she cried.
* * *
"You are not concentrating," Teyla said, as she disarmed Ronon for the third time in a half an hour.
"Sorry...look, I need to ask you something," Ronon said, rubbing his arm where she'd smacked him hard.
"Of course," Teyla said, setting her sticks aside. "You know I am always willing to listen."
Teyla had made Ronon vaguely nervous until he realized how much she reminded him of Rethe, his best friend growing up. Her parents had been even more traditional than Ronon's, and for a while, there had been talk of arranging a marriage between them. They'd both been relieved when her parents had matched her with one of the Chieftain's nieces. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been screaming as the culling beam swept her into a hive ship.
"I guess it's been a while now, but especially since that thing where he got the powers...somewhere along the line, I started liking McKay." He ran a hand over his dreads. "I know this isn't Sateda, and Earth customs aren't the same, but I didn't do it properly with Melena, and I want to get it right this time. I've gotten Sheppard's permission, and Weir's, but I need a go-between to talk to Rodney for me."
"I am glad you have finally realized you have feelings for Rodney," Teyla said. "Although I am surprised you chose to talk to John and Elizabeth; the people from Earth are very...casual about courting."
"I know." Ronon sighed. "I just didn't know how else to do it. Melena...she thought the whole thing was stupid. I kind of did too, plus my parents wouldn't have given permission because her family was poor, so we just sort of moved in together. We figured that they'd eventually get used to it. But we never had time for that to happen."
"I am sorry," Teyla said. "I think it is very honorable of you to do things formally, but I do not know if Rodney will understand." In fact, Teyla was worried that Rodney would find the whole thing rather ridiculous and that he would have no real hesitation in saying so at length regardless of who could hear him. I should not underestimate him, she told herself sternly, but while she had been well aware of Ronon's feelings for Rodney, she was not so sure of Rodney's feelings for Ronon. Yes, Rodney seemed to wear his every thought on his face, but she'd learned that his very transparency served to keep people at bay, just as John's easy charm did for him.
"Yeah. I'm not even sure he likes men. I've got to try, though. He almost died last time, and if I don't say anything and something happens..." Ronon forced himself to unclench his hands, wrapped tight around the bantos rods. "What I was wondering was if you'd maybe be willing to talk to him for me."
"I would be honored to," Teyla replied. "On Athos it is common for a friend to go with the couple when they consult with the Record Keeper about their family lines, but we do not have the custom of the go-between. What do I need to do?"
* * *
Teyla folded her hands on the balcony railing and looked out over the ocean for a moment before turning back to Rodney. "I am here on Ronon's behalf," she told him once she was sure she could keep her expression neutral.
"Ronon?" Rodney said, utterly confused. Teyla's expression when she came into the lab had been serious enough that he had left his work with nothing more that a cursory grumble about having important things to do.
And now she wanted to talk about Ronon? Oh, God, they've gotten involved and she thinks that because I'm on the team I need to know. In spite of the fact that he knew his chances had always been slight, the idea of Teyla and Ronon together still made his chest feel a little tight.
"What about Ronon," he said, brusquely.
"He has...expressed an interest. In you. In the...ah...romantic sense." Teyla braced herself.
"Me?" Rodney gave a short bark of laughter and turned toward the door. "I really thought better of you," he said tightly.
Teyla frowned. "What--oh, Rodney." She blew a strand of hair out of her face, her irritation showing for just a moment. "Believe me, I am quite serious. Ronon is too, or he would not have insisted on doing this according to proper Satedan tradition." No matter how ridiculous, under the circumstances.
"Me?" Rodney said again, blinking. If it had been anyone else, he'd have kept his initial assumption that this was some horrible prank started by someone who had noticed his stupid crush on Ronon. But this was Teyla, and he had to believe that she was serious. "Are you sure?"
"Quite sure," she said drily. "He has already spoken to both Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir, requesting their permission to court you."
"He...he...." Rodney wondered if it would just be easier to jump over the railing and into the freezing ocean than try to understand this conversation. "Well, you really should congratulate him...I'm kind of speechless here."
"As I understand it, Satedan custom is that he must obtain permission from his family, or, if he is in the military, his commanding officer, and from your family--in this case, Elizabeth--and then he cannot approach you directly at first, but must have someone to act as an intermediary." She sighed just a little. "That would be me."
"How fun for you," Rodney said.
"I am honored to have been asked," Teyla told him, matching his tone. "The point is that he is very serious about this. He was quite insistent on following the appropriate protocols so that there would be no question about his intentions toward you."
"Wait, his intentions?" One of the things Rodney really hated about the whole relationship game was the way it made him feel stupid. "Let me get this...right. He told Elizabeth and Sheppard that he wanted to...to court me? And this is how it's done on Sateda when you want to...oh." He took a deep breath. "Does he want to marry me? I'm not even all that out about doing men."
"Actually...he did say that he was not certain if you were interested in men." Teyla gave Rodney a speculative look. "I was under the impression that you were, but I did not tell him so."
"Oh," Rodney said, waving his hands aimlessly. "I...uh...I mean you'd have to be blind not to...it's Ronon, you know?" Without waiting for an answer, he took a few steps away and stared out at the horizon.
Ronon. So interested in Rodney that he took this kind of risk--Jesus, talking to both Elizabeth and Sheppard, not to mention Teyla about this!--without even knowing if Rodney was at all interested.
"He's so fucking brave," he said, quietly.
"Yes," Teyla agreed. "Ordinarily, I believe that my role would include making sure that you were aware of Ronon's virtues, but in this case...I do not think that I need to do that, do I?" She smiled at Rodney.
"More the other way around, I think," Rodney said. "Why me?"
"You would need to ask him," she said gently, "but were I to guess, he would say that you have many admirable qualities--including that you are also brave." She took a step forward and rested a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "I know that I would certainly agree with that assessment."
"I don't know about that," Rodney said. "My gut instinct here is to run away and hide in the lab." He sighed. "Okay, given that that's hardly an option, I have to say, I'm hardly ready to walk down the aisle...um, that means get married." And really, the idea was so absurd that he couldn't help laughing a little.
"I do not think that is quite the next step," Teyla assured him, fighting a laugh of her own. "I believe that if you reciprocate his interest, then you communicate that to me and I speak to him and arrange a time for the two of you to...well, ordinarily, it would be to meet, but in this case, perhaps we can attempt to find time for the two of you to speak together, alone." Although I would dearly love to hear that conversation, Teyla admitted to herself.
"Are you kidding? Of course I'm interested, as long as no one's fitting me for an ugly powder blue tuxedo...uh, never mind." Rodney winced at the image, although the idea of Ronon in a decent, non-powder blue tuxedo was something else. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, knowing he wasn't fooling Teyla for a moment.
"So you're going to be setting up a date for us?" Although Rodney's last date on Atlantis was something he really wished he could forget, since then he'd heard people talking about dating Pegasus style. I refuse to go to Sheppard and ask for the keys to the car, but there is the west pier at sunset and oh God, I can't believe I'm thinking like this.
"I am not overly familiar with courting customs of either Earth or Sateda...but yes, I think that is the next phase."
"Well..." And here it was: if Rodney said something now, he'd be taking the kind of risk he hadn't taken in a very long time. Walking through the 'gate is nothing compared to this.
But Ronon had done this the "right way" because he wanted something more than the casual flings that were scattered across Rodney's past. And while Rodney was used to men looking at his ass and wanting to fuck him, or seeing his wide mouth as an invitation to a blowjob, very few men had any interest in more than that. That Ronon--Ronon who could have anyone on Atlantis he wanted--felt like this was....
"Yes," he said firmly, raising his chin. "Tell him...yes."
* * *
Rodney took a look at himself in the mirror and sighed. He supposed he looked good in the sport coat, but honestly, this was Ronon he was meeting. It seemed kind of stupid to dress up to impress someone when you'd spent time incarcerated with them more than once. On the other hand, this was a date and he couldn't just throw on one of his funny t-shirts. He sighed again and stared at the pile of clothing on his bed.
Twenty minutes later, dressed in a blue polo shirt Jeannie had sent him and the nicer of his two pairs of jeans, he finally left his quarters and headed for the west pier. From what Teyla said, Ronon seemed to have figured out how dates worked here and Rodney couldn't help wondering who he'd talked to about it. Not like John would know. As near as Rodney could tell, John's idea of a date was fluttering his lashes at alien priestesses and then being surprised when they jumped him.
According to Cadman, you were supposed to dress up for a date--but not too much. It was pretty much like Ronon had expected, so he finally settled on the big white shirt he liked because it reminded him of one of his old favorites from before. The looks the kitchen staff exchanged when he went to pick up the food made it clear that if the entire city didn't know he was having dinner with McKay--with Rodney--they certainly would within the hour. Feeling more nervous than he had when he'd let his first patrol on a scouting mission, he took the basket of food and headed for the transporter.
In spite of his indecision about clothing, Rodney was still early, and he could feel his eyes go wide as he saw Ronon walking up the pier. Oh fuck, he's hot. The tight knot in his chest eased a little; this was really happening, Ronon really was interested.
"Hey," he said, feeling weirdly awkward. "This is...was...unexpected."
Ronon tugged on one of his dreads. "Um. Yeah. I just..." He waved a hand, feeling at a loss and not liking it. "You're kind of a pain in the ass, but when you almost died, I realized that I'd...I'd miss you. And then I started thinking, and...." He shrugged. "So I guess you do like guys, then?"
"Oh," Rodney said, smiling in surprise. "I think that's the most honest thing anyone's ever said to me on a date." He looked Ronon over again, grateful for the chance to do it without having to hide his interest behind a veil of annoyance. "Even if I didn't like guys--which I do, by the way--I'd still want you. I mean...look at you."
Rodney was staring at him with an expression that Ronon had only seen on his face when he was eating, or thinking about eating, or talking about eating--which, granted, was most of the time. It was flattering, actually. "Thanks...I mean, you're not...I know I give you shit about how much you eat, but the thing is, I don't really like guys that are too skinny. I'd be scared of breaking somebody like Sheppard, you know?"
"God," Rodney said, rubbing his hand over his face. "We kind of suck at this, don't we?" Although, really, the idea that Ronon had compared him to Sheppard and still wanted him was incredibly flattering.
"We totally do," Ronon said morosely. "Cadman said it would be easy; I don't know what she was talking about."
"Oh my God!" Rodney stared at Ronon in shock. "You talked to CADMAN about this! Jesus, she gives seriously shitty dating advice...wait, did you tell her you were dating ME?!"
"No! Give me some credit, McKay--if I'd told her it was you, then it would have been all over the city even sooner than it already will be. I just asked her what Earth people do on dates."
"Oh, thank God," Rodney said. "I'm sorry, it's just that I kind of have this thing about Cadman and dates and...let's just not go there, okay?" He paused a moment and then reached out and brushed his hand lightly across Ronon's. "So...um...what's in the basket?"
Ronon rummaged through the basket and started taking things out. "I got some sandwiches...and there's some pudding...and some of the fried neelin from the mainland...and some more pudding...and those orange puffy things with the cheese...and pudding...and pie." He grinned. "Think we have enough food?"
"Where'd you get Cheetos?" Rodney settled down on one of the deck chairs that had appeared once the west pier had become Atlantis favorite date spot. "And hey, you even got sandwiches without mayo...." He smiled at Ronon. "This is really great; thank you."
They ate in a surprisingly comfortable silence; Ronon was proud of himself for reining in the impulse to lick orange cheese-flavored powder off Rodney's fingers. On the first date, at least.
The food was good and Rodney found himself relaxing. Sure, it was a date, and he was terrible at dating, but there was something reassuring about being on a date with Ronon. When someone's seen you at your very worst, you can be yourself.
"So did you really ask Sheppard for permission to...do this?" he asked as he finished off a piece of pie.
Ronon shrugged. "Yeah. I figured that if nothing else, he's our team leader, and he should know. Plus, the look on his face was pretty funny."
"I wish I'd seen it," Rodney said with a laugh. "Were you all serious like? He never knows what to do when you do that."
"Yeah--he was kinda flailing." He cleared his throat. "I was serious, though, partly. The thing is...it's not like I really believe that Melena wouldn't have died if we'd done things like we were supposed to. But there aren't that many of us left, now, and even if it's a stupid tradition, it's all we've got, you know? And I figured that the good thing was, if you weren't interested, then you could tell Teyla and we could both pretend it hadn't happened so we could still work together." Ronon glanced up, looking into Rodney's eyes, which always surprised him with how blue they were. "And I meant it when I told Teyla that I didn't want anyone to think I was insulting you by acting like I wasn't serious."
There were so many flippant things Rodney could say here, but this...this was important and his big damn mouth had gotten him into trouble on dates in the past; he didn't want that to happen here. "No one's ever done anything like that for me before," he said quietly. "Taken being with me that seriously. I don't know what to say except...thank you."
"I thought it would suck if I had to wait until you were dying again before saying anything." Ronon studied his pudding cup as if it held the answer to the mysteries of the universe, or at least to the mysteries of one Meredith R. McKay.
"Yeah, that wouldn't work out too well for me either," Rodney said, somehow knowing that he could be flippant now. He reached out and took the pudding cup out of Ronon's fingers. "I don't know about Sateda, but on Earth, it's okay to kiss on the first date." And then, because he figured Ronon had been in charge up to this point and now it was his turn, he leaned forward, and carefully kissed Ronon.
Even before the incident with the Ascension machine, Ronon had wondered how Rodney would be at kissing, given how much exercise his mouth got. As it turned out, Rodney was a damned good kisser. He didn't rush it, and while he was definitely leading--which was fine by Ronon--he was surprisingly not pushy. Ronon scooted forward so he could put his arms around Rodney's comfortably solid but really, not at all fat body and hold him. And if he was holding him a little closer and tighter than was strictly proper...well, it had been seven years.
It felt so damn good to be close to someone big and warm and undeniably masculine, and Rodney let himself get a little more aggressive. He reached up and tangled his hands in Ronon's dreads and pushed his tongue into Ronon's mouth, tasting pudding and Cheetos and under them, Ronon himself. God...I might just spontaneously combust here.
Since it didn't seem like Rodney was interested in stopping any time soon, Ronon figured it was okay for him to get comfortable. He shifted around and settled Rodney on his lap, running his fingers through Rodney's hair and making it stand up like Sheppard's. Yeah...I could definitely get used to this,he thought.
Rodney moaned into Ronon's mouth, before pulling back. "God," he murmured. "I can't believe you want me like this."
"Why? It's not like you're not hot." Ronon traced the line of Rodney's jaw with one finger, then leaned in to lick the corner of Rodney's mouth. "I wasn't sure you'd want me, since I'm not exactly your type."
"Are you kidding? You're a totally hot guy, of course you're my type." Rodney leaned in for a quick nuzzle of Ronon's neck. "It's just...I've been a contractor for the US military for most of my life. I tend to mention my thing for blondes more than my thing for good-looking guys.
It's...complicated and anyway I know Sheppard told you about the rules." He kissed Ronon and then sat back, smiling smugly. "Rules that don't apply to us."
"You mean that 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' thing?" He shook his head. "That's just stupid. I was thinking more about you liking science guys, somebody like Zelenka."
"Radek's really really straight," Rodney said. "We hadn't been here three months before he got really drunk one night and...well confessed a lot of stuff to me. We pretended it never happened, but trust me, he doesn't do guys."
"Mmm...." Ronon ran his hands over Rodney's chest and his improbably perky nipples. "So tell me...on Earth, when is it traditional to go past kissing? I figure we could sort of meet halfway."
"Oh God, I don't know," Rodney said, trying to concentrate on something other than Ronon's hands on him. "It depends; if we'd hooked up in a gay bar, I'd be blowing you by now."
Ronon's pants became suddenly uncomfortable. "Not fair," he growled in Rodney's ear.
"Says the guy who's playing with my nipples," Rodney gasped.
"What else am I supposed to do, the way they always stick up like that?" Abruptly Ronon nudged Rodney off his lap and stood up, pulling Rodney to his feet and wrapping him in his arms. "Do we need to go reassure everyone? I have a feeling they're all waiting to hear what happened."
"No, we don't," Rodney said firmly. He wanted to grind shamelessly against Ronon's thigh, but he took a deep breath and managed to remain still. "Look, I'm willing to behave, mostly, and keep to your whole code of honor thing and do this slowly, but Elizabeth is not my mom and I'd bet good money that the last thing Sheppard wants to hear about is our date. We can tell Teyla it went well and that'll be that, and Cadman...." He grinned up at Ronon. "I'll be smiling all day tomorrow, and that's more than enough revenge."
"Sounds good." Ronon bent down to give Rodney another quick kiss. "We'll just let 'em wonder."
-end-
Author: darkrosetiger & telesilla
Pairing Rodney/Ronon
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,889
Disclaimer: The SGA characters do not belong to me. Duh.
Summary: Ronon is determined to court Rodney in the proper Satedan way.
Notes: This is just a fairly lighthearted look at cultural differences and dating. The title is a medical/dental insurance term which we used here because we're weird that way. Our thanks to helens78 for her excellent beta-fu!
Aware that his mouth was hanging open, John closed it with a snap and continued staring at Ronon. "You want to...what?" he finally said, sure that there was some way to explain what he'd just been asked.
Ronon didn't quite roll his eyes. "I said, I want to court McKay, and I'm asking your permission," he repeated slowly. He wasn't quite sure what about that wasn't clear, but it was Sheppard, and he could be kind of slow on the uptake sometimes.
And yeah, that was what John thought Ronon had said; so much for having his ears checked. "Why McKay?" he blurted out and then regretted it instantly.
Ronon shrugged. "I like him. He's a pain in the ass, but he's smart and funny--usually not when he's trying to be--and he understands what's important." He smiled a little. "He's got nice eyes, too, and a really nice--"
Not sure if Ronon was about to say "ass" or "dick" and not really wanting to know which it was, John held up his hands. "Whoa there, the guy's a member of my team, I can't hear this."
He took a deep breath and tried again. "Okay, so obviously you think he's great; why not just tell him that? Why come to me?"
"Because...that's how it's done. On Sateda. Or...it was supposed to be. You like someone, you go to his--or her--parents and ask their permission, and if you're in the military, you get your Task Master's permission, and then your parents hire a go-between to arrange things, and then eventually you get to spend time together. It's the proper way to do it. Melena...we didn't. She thought it was a stupid, antiquated custom, and I didn't much care; I just wanted to be with her." Ronon sighed. "I want to do this right this time."
"But Rodney's not Satedan--I don't think he'll mind if you just...you know, ask him out," John said, but it was a weak effort. He knew a losing battle when he saw one, and anyway, he really hated it when Ronon referred to him as his "Task Master." It reminded him of the sort of kinky science fiction series he used to read as a teenager.
Ronon shook his head. "I don't want anyone to think I'm...implying anything, or that I don't respect him. I need to do it all properly."
It was on the tip of John's tongue to point out that no one on Atlantis was Satedan, but he managed to not say it. Have some damn tact, Shep. Besides, while he'd only admit it to himself, the idea of Ronon courting Rodney was kind of hilarious.
"Well, I don't really think you need my permission," he said. "But yeah, as long as it doesn't mess with the team dynamic, knock yourself out."
"You sure? I mean, you're not...um..." When he first came to Atlantis, Ronon had assumed Sheppard and McKay were lovers. He didn't think that any more, but it was so hard to tell with Earth people he figured he'd better ask.
"I'm not what?"
"You and McKay aren't..." Ronon gestured vaguely. "I didn't think you were, but..."
"Me? And Rodney?!" Honestly, it wasn't that John disliked Rodney--it had taken some time, but these days he liked Rodney fine--or even that he didn't think Rodney was attractive--Rodney did, in fact, have a nice ass--but Rodney was on his team, was one of his men, and John didn't go there. "Not so much."
Ronon frowned. "What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing," John said, still unable to believe they were having this conversation. "You have more patience than I do; even if I did get involved with people on my team, he and I would try to kill each other in the first month."
"Oh." That actually made sense. Ronon had certainly considered it more than once, especially at first. There was something about Rodney, though...he drove you crazy and then all of a sudden he was dying and you realized how much you were going to miss him. Ronon had decided on Rodney, and he wasn't going to add him to his list of things he regretted.
"So...anyway, yeah, you have permission to court him," John said, proud that he got it out without laughing. "Um...you do know that, while the SGC recruits open-minded people, some people on Earth don't approve of same-sex relationships?"
Ronon snorted. "I don't see what difference it makes--but if anyone has a problem with it, they're welcome to talk to me about it." He grinned.
"I'd pay good money to see that," John said. He took a deep breath and looked out over the ocean. "So, you ready to head back in, or was there something else?"
"No, that's it." Ronon looked over at Sheppard and smiled. "Thanks."
"Good," John muttered as he started the run back into the city. And that's my weird quotient for the day.
* * *
"Um...hi. Can I come in?" Ronon asked Elizabeth, hovering just outside her office door.
"Ronon," she said, smiling at him. "By all means, come in." Elizabeth was used to looking for subtle nuances in people's faces, and to her eye, Ronon looked just a little nervous. "Is anything wrong?" she asked after he'd settled in one of her chairs.
Ronon rubbed the back of his neck in a gesture he'd picked up from Sheppard. "I...um...I need to ask you something. About McKay. Rodney."
"Rodney?" While it was no longer all that common for people to come into her office and complain about Rodney, it did still happen. But surely if Ronon was having problems with Rodney, he'd go to John. "Rodney can be a bit difficult," she began.
"Huh? No--I mean, yes, he can be, but that's not what I wanted to ask about." Ronon took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter. "I'd like your permission to court him."
Grateful for every single lesson she'd learned in diplomacy, going all the way back to learning how to keep a straight face while blaming missing cookies on her little sister, Elizabeth smiled carefully. "And according to Sateden culture you need my permission?" she asked.
Relieved that Elizabeth seemed to understand, Ronon nodded. "Exactly. His parents aren't here, but I figured since he reports to you, I should ask you. I already talked to Colonel Sheppard--he's pretty much my taskmaster--and he said it was okay. I know you people do things differently, but it's just that on Sateda, if you didn't do it properly, then it was like you were saying that the person's...like you don't really respect him."
"I see," Elizabeth said. It's kind of sweet, she thought. If you can use that word about Ronon and Rodney. "Of course you have my permission," she said. "I don't know what Rodney would say to the idea that I can give that permission, but I'll leave that conversation up to you."
Ronon could see that Elizabeth was getting that look, the one that meant she was itching to interrogate him about Satedan courting and marriage customs. He stood up. "Thank you," he said, taking his leave as quickly as he could without being too horribly rude.
A little disappointed that she'd lost a chance to ask him some questions, Elizabeth watched him walk away. As she turned her computer toward her, she suddenly got a horrible attack of the giggles. Oh my God, I just stood in for Rodney's parents! I wonder if I have to give him away if they get married. The idea of Rodney and Ronon's wedding led to more suppressed laughter and she finally had to close her door and make the window/wall of her office opaque so she could laugh until she cried.
* * *
"You are not concentrating," Teyla said, as she disarmed Ronon for the third time in a half an hour.
"Sorry...look, I need to ask you something," Ronon said, rubbing his arm where she'd smacked him hard.
"Of course," Teyla said, setting her sticks aside. "You know I am always willing to listen."
Teyla had made Ronon vaguely nervous until he realized how much she reminded him of Rethe, his best friend growing up. Her parents had been even more traditional than Ronon's, and for a while, there had been talk of arranging a marriage between them. They'd both been relieved when her parents had matched her with one of the Chieftain's nieces. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been screaming as the culling beam swept her into a hive ship.
"I guess it's been a while now, but especially since that thing where he got the powers...somewhere along the line, I started liking McKay." He ran a hand over his dreads. "I know this isn't Sateda, and Earth customs aren't the same, but I didn't do it properly with Melena, and I want to get it right this time. I've gotten Sheppard's permission, and Weir's, but I need a go-between to talk to Rodney for me."
"I am glad you have finally realized you have feelings for Rodney," Teyla said. "Although I am surprised you chose to talk to John and Elizabeth; the people from Earth are very...casual about courting."
"I know." Ronon sighed. "I just didn't know how else to do it. Melena...she thought the whole thing was stupid. I kind of did too, plus my parents wouldn't have given permission because her family was poor, so we just sort of moved in together. We figured that they'd eventually get used to it. But we never had time for that to happen."
"I am sorry," Teyla said. "I think it is very honorable of you to do things formally, but I do not know if Rodney will understand." In fact, Teyla was worried that Rodney would find the whole thing rather ridiculous and that he would have no real hesitation in saying so at length regardless of who could hear him. I should not underestimate him, she told herself sternly, but while she had been well aware of Ronon's feelings for Rodney, she was not so sure of Rodney's feelings for Ronon. Yes, Rodney seemed to wear his every thought on his face, but she'd learned that his very transparency served to keep people at bay, just as John's easy charm did for him.
"Yeah. I'm not even sure he likes men. I've got to try, though. He almost died last time, and if I don't say anything and something happens..." Ronon forced himself to unclench his hands, wrapped tight around the bantos rods. "What I was wondering was if you'd maybe be willing to talk to him for me."
"I would be honored to," Teyla replied. "On Athos it is common for a friend to go with the couple when they consult with the Record Keeper about their family lines, but we do not have the custom of the go-between. What do I need to do?"
* * *
Teyla folded her hands on the balcony railing and looked out over the ocean for a moment before turning back to Rodney. "I am here on Ronon's behalf," she told him once she was sure she could keep her expression neutral.
"Ronon?" Rodney said, utterly confused. Teyla's expression when she came into the lab had been serious enough that he had left his work with nothing more that a cursory grumble about having important things to do.
And now she wanted to talk about Ronon? Oh, God, they've gotten involved and she thinks that because I'm on the team I need to know. In spite of the fact that he knew his chances had always been slight, the idea of Teyla and Ronon together still made his chest feel a little tight.
"What about Ronon," he said, brusquely.
"He has...expressed an interest. In you. In the...ah...romantic sense." Teyla braced herself.
"Me?" Rodney gave a short bark of laughter and turned toward the door. "I really thought better of you," he said tightly.
Teyla frowned. "What--oh, Rodney." She blew a strand of hair out of her face, her irritation showing for just a moment. "Believe me, I am quite serious. Ronon is too, or he would not have insisted on doing this according to proper Satedan tradition." No matter how ridiculous, under the circumstances.
"Me?" Rodney said again, blinking. If it had been anyone else, he'd have kept his initial assumption that this was some horrible prank started by someone who had noticed his stupid crush on Ronon. But this was Teyla, and he had to believe that she was serious. "Are you sure?"
"Quite sure," she said drily. "He has already spoken to both Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir, requesting their permission to court you."
"He...he...." Rodney wondered if it would just be easier to jump over the railing and into the freezing ocean than try to understand this conversation. "Well, you really should congratulate him...I'm kind of speechless here."
"As I understand it, Satedan custom is that he must obtain permission from his family, or, if he is in the military, his commanding officer, and from your family--in this case, Elizabeth--and then he cannot approach you directly at first, but must have someone to act as an intermediary." She sighed just a little. "That would be me."
"How fun for you," Rodney said.
"I am honored to have been asked," Teyla told him, matching his tone. "The point is that he is very serious about this. He was quite insistent on following the appropriate protocols so that there would be no question about his intentions toward you."
"Wait, his intentions?" One of the things Rodney really hated about the whole relationship game was the way it made him feel stupid. "Let me get this...right. He told Elizabeth and Sheppard that he wanted to...to court me? And this is how it's done on Sateda when you want to...oh." He took a deep breath. "Does he want to marry me? I'm not even all that out about doing men."
"Actually...he did say that he was not certain if you were interested in men." Teyla gave Rodney a speculative look. "I was under the impression that you were, but I did not tell him so."
"Oh," Rodney said, waving his hands aimlessly. "I...uh...I mean you'd have to be blind not to...it's Ronon, you know?" Without waiting for an answer, he took a few steps away and stared out at the horizon.
Ronon. So interested in Rodney that he took this kind of risk--Jesus, talking to both Elizabeth and Sheppard, not to mention Teyla about this!--without even knowing if Rodney was at all interested.
"He's so fucking brave," he said, quietly.
"Yes," Teyla agreed. "Ordinarily, I believe that my role would include making sure that you were aware of Ronon's virtues, but in this case...I do not think that I need to do that, do I?" She smiled at Rodney.
"More the other way around, I think," Rodney said. "Why me?"
"You would need to ask him," she said gently, "but were I to guess, he would say that you have many admirable qualities--including that you are also brave." She took a step forward and rested a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "I know that I would certainly agree with that assessment."
"I don't know about that," Rodney said. "My gut instinct here is to run away and hide in the lab." He sighed. "Okay, given that that's hardly an option, I have to say, I'm hardly ready to walk down the aisle...um, that means get married." And really, the idea was so absurd that he couldn't help laughing a little.
"I do not think that is quite the next step," Teyla assured him, fighting a laugh of her own. "I believe that if you reciprocate his interest, then you communicate that to me and I speak to him and arrange a time for the two of you to...well, ordinarily, it would be to meet, but in this case, perhaps we can attempt to find time for the two of you to speak together, alone." Although I would dearly love to hear that conversation, Teyla admitted to herself.
"Are you kidding? Of course I'm interested, as long as no one's fitting me for an ugly powder blue tuxedo...uh, never mind." Rodney winced at the image, although the idea of Ronon in a decent, non-powder blue tuxedo was something else. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, knowing he wasn't fooling Teyla for a moment.
"So you're going to be setting up a date for us?" Although Rodney's last date on Atlantis was something he really wished he could forget, since then he'd heard people talking about dating Pegasus style. I refuse to go to Sheppard and ask for the keys to the car, but there is the west pier at sunset and oh God, I can't believe I'm thinking like this.
"I am not overly familiar with courting customs of either Earth or Sateda...but yes, I think that is the next phase."
"Well..." And here it was: if Rodney said something now, he'd be taking the kind of risk he hadn't taken in a very long time. Walking through the 'gate is nothing compared to this.
But Ronon had done this the "right way" because he wanted something more than the casual flings that were scattered across Rodney's past. And while Rodney was used to men looking at his ass and wanting to fuck him, or seeing his wide mouth as an invitation to a blowjob, very few men had any interest in more than that. That Ronon--Ronon who could have anyone on Atlantis he wanted--felt like this was....
"Yes," he said firmly, raising his chin. "Tell him...yes."
* * *
Rodney took a look at himself in the mirror and sighed. He supposed he looked good in the sport coat, but honestly, this was Ronon he was meeting. It seemed kind of stupid to dress up to impress someone when you'd spent time incarcerated with them more than once. On the other hand, this was a date and he couldn't just throw on one of his funny t-shirts. He sighed again and stared at the pile of clothing on his bed.
Twenty minutes later, dressed in a blue polo shirt Jeannie had sent him and the nicer of his two pairs of jeans, he finally left his quarters and headed for the west pier. From what Teyla said, Ronon seemed to have figured out how dates worked here and Rodney couldn't help wondering who he'd talked to about it. Not like John would know. As near as Rodney could tell, John's idea of a date was fluttering his lashes at alien priestesses and then being surprised when they jumped him.
According to Cadman, you were supposed to dress up for a date--but not too much. It was pretty much like Ronon had expected, so he finally settled on the big white shirt he liked because it reminded him of one of his old favorites from before. The looks the kitchen staff exchanged when he went to pick up the food made it clear that if the entire city didn't know he was having dinner with McKay--with Rodney--they certainly would within the hour. Feeling more nervous than he had when he'd let his first patrol on a scouting mission, he took the basket of food and headed for the transporter.
In spite of his indecision about clothing, Rodney was still early, and he could feel his eyes go wide as he saw Ronon walking up the pier. Oh fuck, he's hot. The tight knot in his chest eased a little; this was really happening, Ronon really was interested.
"Hey," he said, feeling weirdly awkward. "This is...was...unexpected."
Ronon tugged on one of his dreads. "Um. Yeah. I just..." He waved a hand, feeling at a loss and not liking it. "You're kind of a pain in the ass, but when you almost died, I realized that I'd...I'd miss you. And then I started thinking, and...." He shrugged. "So I guess you do like guys, then?"
"Oh," Rodney said, smiling in surprise. "I think that's the most honest thing anyone's ever said to me on a date." He looked Ronon over again, grateful for the chance to do it without having to hide his interest behind a veil of annoyance. "Even if I didn't like guys--which I do, by the way--I'd still want you. I mean...look at you."
Rodney was staring at him with an expression that Ronon had only seen on his face when he was eating, or thinking about eating, or talking about eating--which, granted, was most of the time. It was flattering, actually. "Thanks...I mean, you're not...I know I give you shit about how much you eat, but the thing is, I don't really like guys that are too skinny. I'd be scared of breaking somebody like Sheppard, you know?"
"God," Rodney said, rubbing his hand over his face. "We kind of suck at this, don't we?" Although, really, the idea that Ronon had compared him to Sheppard and still wanted him was incredibly flattering.
"We totally do," Ronon said morosely. "Cadman said it would be easy; I don't know what she was talking about."
"Oh my God!" Rodney stared at Ronon in shock. "You talked to CADMAN about this! Jesus, she gives seriously shitty dating advice...wait, did you tell her you were dating ME?!"
"No! Give me some credit, McKay--if I'd told her it was you, then it would have been all over the city even sooner than it already will be. I just asked her what Earth people do on dates."
"Oh, thank God," Rodney said. "I'm sorry, it's just that I kind of have this thing about Cadman and dates and...let's just not go there, okay?" He paused a moment and then reached out and brushed his hand lightly across Ronon's. "So...um...what's in the basket?"
Ronon rummaged through the basket and started taking things out. "I got some sandwiches...and there's some pudding...and some of the fried neelin from the mainland...and some more pudding...and those orange puffy things with the cheese...and pudding...and pie." He grinned. "Think we have enough food?"
"Where'd you get Cheetos?" Rodney settled down on one of the deck chairs that had appeared once the west pier had become Atlantis favorite date spot. "And hey, you even got sandwiches without mayo...." He smiled at Ronon. "This is really great; thank you."
They ate in a surprisingly comfortable silence; Ronon was proud of himself for reining in the impulse to lick orange cheese-flavored powder off Rodney's fingers. On the first date, at least.
The food was good and Rodney found himself relaxing. Sure, it was a date, and he was terrible at dating, but there was something reassuring about being on a date with Ronon. When someone's seen you at your very worst, you can be yourself.
"So did you really ask Sheppard for permission to...do this?" he asked as he finished off a piece of pie.
Ronon shrugged. "Yeah. I figured that if nothing else, he's our team leader, and he should know. Plus, the look on his face was pretty funny."
"I wish I'd seen it," Rodney said with a laugh. "Were you all serious like? He never knows what to do when you do that."
"Yeah--he was kinda flailing." He cleared his throat. "I was serious, though, partly. The thing is...it's not like I really believe that Melena wouldn't have died if we'd done things like we were supposed to. But there aren't that many of us left, now, and even if it's a stupid tradition, it's all we've got, you know? And I figured that the good thing was, if you weren't interested, then you could tell Teyla and we could both pretend it hadn't happened so we could still work together." Ronon glanced up, looking into Rodney's eyes, which always surprised him with how blue they were. "And I meant it when I told Teyla that I didn't want anyone to think I was insulting you by acting like I wasn't serious."
There were so many flippant things Rodney could say here, but this...this was important and his big damn mouth had gotten him into trouble on dates in the past; he didn't want that to happen here. "No one's ever done anything like that for me before," he said quietly. "Taken being with me that seriously. I don't know what to say except...thank you."
"I thought it would suck if I had to wait until you were dying again before saying anything." Ronon studied his pudding cup as if it held the answer to the mysteries of the universe, or at least to the mysteries of one Meredith R. McKay.
"Yeah, that wouldn't work out too well for me either," Rodney said, somehow knowing that he could be flippant now. He reached out and took the pudding cup out of Ronon's fingers. "I don't know about Sateda, but on Earth, it's okay to kiss on the first date." And then, because he figured Ronon had been in charge up to this point and now it was his turn, he leaned forward, and carefully kissed Ronon.
Even before the incident with the Ascension machine, Ronon had wondered how Rodney would be at kissing, given how much exercise his mouth got. As it turned out, Rodney was a damned good kisser. He didn't rush it, and while he was definitely leading--which was fine by Ronon--he was surprisingly not pushy. Ronon scooted forward so he could put his arms around Rodney's comfortably solid but really, not at all fat body and hold him. And if he was holding him a little closer and tighter than was strictly proper...well, it had been seven years.
It felt so damn good to be close to someone big and warm and undeniably masculine, and Rodney let himself get a little more aggressive. He reached up and tangled his hands in Ronon's dreads and pushed his tongue into Ronon's mouth, tasting pudding and Cheetos and under them, Ronon himself. God...I might just spontaneously combust here.
Since it didn't seem like Rodney was interested in stopping any time soon, Ronon figured it was okay for him to get comfortable. He shifted around and settled Rodney on his lap, running his fingers through Rodney's hair and making it stand up like Sheppard's. Yeah...I could definitely get used to this,he thought.
Rodney moaned into Ronon's mouth, before pulling back. "God," he murmured. "I can't believe you want me like this."
"Why? It's not like you're not hot." Ronon traced the line of Rodney's jaw with one finger, then leaned in to lick the corner of Rodney's mouth. "I wasn't sure you'd want me, since I'm not exactly your type."
"Are you kidding? You're a totally hot guy, of course you're my type." Rodney leaned in for a quick nuzzle of Ronon's neck. "It's just...I've been a contractor for the US military for most of my life. I tend to mention my thing for blondes more than my thing for good-looking guys.
It's...complicated and anyway I know Sheppard told you about the rules." He kissed Ronon and then sat back, smiling smugly. "Rules that don't apply to us."
"You mean that 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' thing?" He shook his head. "That's just stupid. I was thinking more about you liking science guys, somebody like Zelenka."
"Radek's really really straight," Rodney said. "We hadn't been here three months before he got really drunk one night and...well confessed a lot of stuff to me. We pretended it never happened, but trust me, he doesn't do guys."
"Mmm...." Ronon ran his hands over Rodney's chest and his improbably perky nipples. "So tell me...on Earth, when is it traditional to go past kissing? I figure we could sort of meet halfway."
"Oh God, I don't know," Rodney said, trying to concentrate on something other than Ronon's hands on him. "It depends; if we'd hooked up in a gay bar, I'd be blowing you by now."
Ronon's pants became suddenly uncomfortable. "Not fair," he growled in Rodney's ear.
"Says the guy who's playing with my nipples," Rodney gasped.
"What else am I supposed to do, the way they always stick up like that?" Abruptly Ronon nudged Rodney off his lap and stood up, pulling Rodney to his feet and wrapping him in his arms. "Do we need to go reassure everyone? I have a feeling they're all waiting to hear what happened."
"No, we don't," Rodney said firmly. He wanted to grind shamelessly against Ronon's thigh, but he took a deep breath and managed to remain still. "Look, I'm willing to behave, mostly, and keep to your whole code of honor thing and do this slowly, but Elizabeth is not my mom and I'd bet good money that the last thing Sheppard wants to hear about is our date. We can tell Teyla it went well and that'll be that, and Cadman...." He grinned up at Ronon. "I'll be smiling all day tomorrow, and that's more than enough revenge."
"Sounds good." Ronon bent down to give Rodney another quick kiss. "We'll just let 'em wonder."
-end-