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Comments 12

sgatazmy January 14 2007, 17:17:23 UTC
Hey, I like how you start this with some background (in a good voice) for Lara (his cousin) so that we can relate to her a bit before we read the rest of the story. This really is the bigger picture of the MIAs in Pegasus and their families left behind.

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with_apostrophe January 14 2007, 19:49:57 UTC
I'm glad you thought it was a good voice. I'm also very pleased that the bigger picture came across.

Thank you.

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vipersweb January 14 2007, 18:44:17 UTC
This is a nice perspective; I like how you set it up and show the uncertainty that exists for those people in Pegasus left behind.

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with_apostrophe January 14 2007, 20:00:08 UTC
I'm so glad you sensed the power of uncertainty that these people have to live with.

Thank you.

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with_apostrophe January 14 2007, 21:11:10 UTC
Thank you.

If doubt they'll ever pick up the Ford storyline, but you never know. But yes, even if he dies, they'll never have the answers to their questions.

I'm pleased you think my 'sad is also very good' but I'm not going there again, for a very, very long time. Too painful. I still have no idea how angst writers do that time and time again....

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iamrighthere January 14 2007, 21:49:55 UTC
Oh, this is sad. But sad isn't always bad, especially when it highlights one aspect of the mission that hasn't been covered much beyond Elizabeth's and John's messages in "Letters from Pegasus": the lives of people truly left behind by those who went to Atlantis. Especially those who won't be coming back. You showed very well the feelings of the narrator, of course, but also revealed how hard Ford's tragid situation affected Sheppard, as well. Nicely done.

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with_apostrophe January 15 2007, 08:02:34 UTC
You showed very well the feelings of the narrator, of course, but also revealed how hard Ford's tragid situation affected Sheppard, as well.

Thank you. In that scene in 'Intruder' Joe does an incredible job of showing what John is feeling. It would be hard on the man whose modus operandi is (as we have recently been reminded) 'we leave no man behind'.

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a_wordsmith January 15 2007, 03:16:10 UTC
Wow.

I don't even know who these people are or anything about this fandom, (you're on my flist, remember, which is how I found this, LOL!) but this ... is very good. I've read a lot of military history and novels dealing with soldiers and military families, and I think you've captured perfectly the awful, aching emptiness of just not knowing. I hate the word "closure" as vastly overused, but when someone goes MIA ... there's just a hole left in the lives of those he leaves behind that never gets filled, not even with proper tears of mourning.

No idea where you found this muse, m'lady, but well done. And yeah, I can see why it would be hard to write very often like this! :-)
Cheers ~

Erin / Gloria

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with_apostrophe January 15 2007, 08:43:04 UTC
Thank you.
I'm glad that you read this one - of the few stories I have written for the 'Stargate: Atlantis' fandom it's the most accessible to someone who doesn't know the series.

On the weight of your comment I have decided to do what I hinted at at the bottom of the post that directed you here. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested, but it's something I want to do. It'll address your comments here.

Concerning the word 'closure' - it was in the first two drafts, and is mentioned in the referenced TV scene with Lt Col. Sheppard (see icon) and the narrator. It is over-used, and as there are many other ways of communicating the concept, I very deliberately took it out.

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