Prophylactic by audaxfemina Amnesty 2006/Body Modification Challenge
Title:Prophylactics
Author:audaxfemina
Length: 370 words.
Rating: Sadly G.
Team-fic, gen.
Summary: Dialog fic. Teyla and Ronon get fed up with the way John and Rodney continuously try to cheat death, and take drastic measures. For the Bodmod challenge.
"Sheppard, he *sat* on me!"
“You wouldn’t sit still.”
“Yes, because that’s practically logic in bizarro world!”
“Rodney, chill out. I’m sure Ronon has a perfectly good explanation." Pause. "You really sat on McKay?”
“He wouldn’t sit still.”
“Ronon and I feel that both of you may be unduly attracting the Eye. This is merely an… experiment.”
“Dr. Caravaggio called it the Evil Eye?”
“Yes. On Athos, and Sateda, children are marked for their own protection. You should have received such protection years ago.”
“The Eye brings misfortune to the fortunate, and those who boast.”
“Okay, so I get the Eye. I still don’t see how the sitting on McKay has anything to do with this protectio- erk!”
“Oh, so now you’re sitting on Sheppard! Hey, that’s my marker!”
“Like you’d let me make it permanent."
“What are you doing? Quit it! That tickles!”
“Oh my God, you’re both insane. This is catching! What are you drawing on him, Ronon?”
“It’s a prophylactic. Wards off the Eye."
“Ronon used a four syllable word! It’s a sign of the Apocalypse. The world is ending, Ronon and Teyla are *drawing* on people, and I’m the only sane person left.”
“I wouldn't go that far, McKay. Are you finished yet, Ronon?”
“Yeah.”
“Then *get off me*.”
“See, he drew that on me too. This is permanent ink! This won’t come off!”
“It is just until after our mission to P54-39X.”
“There was no sign of Wraith presence from the MALP, Teyla.”
“Still worthy of precaution.”
“Carson is so going to laugh his ass off at us in the post-mission check up. This is going to be all over Atlantis in five minutes. You know that!”
“And if we get in hot water even with these?”
“Then we shall try something else, John. However, Ronon and I have no wish to face constant death because of your combined ability to find danger in its myriad forms. Perhaps one peaceful mission in five would be satisfactory.”
“We could find a talisman.”
“Well, given as one mission without us emptying the magazine in ten seems to be the norm… I’m all for change.”
“Sheppard, do not tell me you’re going along with this!”
“Ronon, sit on him again. You know how McKay brags. I think he needs another.”
“Sheppard, you traitor! Stop! That tickles!”
I know, short, kinda fluffy, and absolutely no redeeming value. But I had to get it out of my mind. Originally it started with a full tattoo, but McKay wouldn't let me. What a spoilsport. By the way, any sign or gesture that wards off the Evil Eye can be called a prophylactic, or a protection. Get your minds out of the gutter. :)
Author:audaxfemina
Length: 370 words.
Rating: Sadly G.
Team-fic, gen.
Summary: Dialog fic. Teyla and Ronon get fed up with the way John and Rodney continuously try to cheat death, and take drastic measures. For the Bodmod challenge.
"Sheppard, he *sat* on me!"
“You wouldn’t sit still.”
“Yes, because that’s practically logic in bizarro world!”
“Rodney, chill out. I’m sure Ronon has a perfectly good explanation." Pause. "You really sat on McKay?”
“He wouldn’t sit still.”
“Ronon and I feel that both of you may be unduly attracting the Eye. This is merely an… experiment.”
“Dr. Caravaggio called it the Evil Eye?”
“Yes. On Athos, and Sateda, children are marked for their own protection. You should have received such protection years ago.”
“The Eye brings misfortune to the fortunate, and those who boast.”
“Okay, so I get the Eye. I still don’t see how the sitting on McKay has anything to do with this protectio- erk!”
“Oh, so now you’re sitting on Sheppard! Hey, that’s my marker!”
“Like you’d let me make it permanent."
“What are you doing? Quit it! That tickles!”
“Oh my God, you’re both insane. This is catching! What are you drawing on him, Ronon?”
“It’s a prophylactic. Wards off the Eye."
“Ronon used a four syllable word! It’s a sign of the Apocalypse. The world is ending, Ronon and Teyla are *drawing* on people, and I’m the only sane person left.”
“I wouldn't go that far, McKay. Are you finished yet, Ronon?”
“Yeah.”
“Then *get off me*.”
“See, he drew that on me too. This is permanent ink! This won’t come off!”
“It is just until after our mission to P54-39X.”
“There was no sign of Wraith presence from the MALP, Teyla.”
“Still worthy of precaution.”
“Carson is so going to laugh his ass off at us in the post-mission check up. This is going to be all over Atlantis in five minutes. You know that!”
“And if we get in hot water even with these?”
“Then we shall try something else, John. However, Ronon and I have no wish to face constant death because of your combined ability to find danger in its myriad forms. Perhaps one peaceful mission in five would be satisfactory.”
“We could find a talisman.”
“Well, given as one mission without us emptying the magazine in ten seems to be the norm… I’m all for change.”
“Sheppard, do not tell me you’re going along with this!”
“Ronon, sit on him again. You know how McKay brags. I think he needs another.”
“Sheppard, you traitor! Stop! That tickles!”
I know, short, kinda fluffy, and absolutely no redeeming value. But I had to get it out of my mind. Originally it started with a full tattoo, but McKay wouldn't let me. What a spoilsport. By the way, any sign or gesture that wards off the Evil Eye can be called a prophylactic, or a protection. Get your minds out of the gutter. :)