Spam, by Malograntum Vitiorum (38 Minutes Challenge)
Title: Spam
Summary: What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Notes: This was mostly written on an airplane on very little sleep. Went over the time limit a little in editing and looking things up.
"The plant cuttings from M5S 527 have not done anything cool, but we think the second sample--the one from the nest that looked abandoned?--contains spam."
"I'm sorry--" Rodney usually knew what Dr. Miko was saying--her accent wasn't that thick, and she spoke fine idiomatic English--but this was new. "Spam?"
"Yes," she said very matter-of-factly and very clearly. "It might be something else, but it sure looks like spam."
"Okay, wait. Spam, like--spam?" She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows a little. "Spam like you would eat for lunch?"
Miko's eyes got very wide and she giggled uncomfortably, hiding her mouth. "Uh--I don't know."
"Spam, like spam, like--the luncheon meat, it comes in a can--" He subjected her to his singing voice. "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spammity spam. . ."
"OH!" Miko laughed again, this time seeming relieved. "No no no no! I see, spam like you would eat for lunch, hahaha, yes, no no no, sorry, my fault. Spam, like. . ." She made an odd gesture, pointing her finger and wiggling it as she moved her hand from right to left.
Rodney attempted to imitate her, even as he slowly began to realize that everyone in the lab was now watching their conversation. "Spam. . .wiggling spam. Swimming spam? With a tail? Little swimming--" He looked at the suddenly comical gesture he was making, then at Miko. "Sperm? Is that what you're saying? Sperm, like, spermatozoa?"
She nodded vigorously. "Yes! SPAM!"
It was at that point that even the non-native English speakers couldn't keep it together anymore, and the whole lab exploded in laughter and a smattering of applause. Miko just rolled her eyes in good-natured annoyance. "So, you want to take a look?"
While everyone was recovering their decorum, Rodney had the new experience of looking through a microscope at a sperm sample from an unknown nidificating mammal. Miko chattered away about chromosomes in an endearingly geeky way and he had the sudden impulse to reassure her that her English was just fine, but she already seemed to have put the whole spam thing behind her.
In any case, he never heard anyone make fun of Miko about the incident, even though for weeks afterwards, every time he was in the lab, somebody would say, "Hey, Rodney, what's for lunch?"
It really wasn't fair.
-end-
(Additional note: This is closely based on a conversation I once had with a friend whose first language was Japanese, except that I was saying "spam" and she was hearing "sperm." If she's out there, I apologize for mining our interactions for entertainment purposes. ;) )
Summary: What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Notes: This was mostly written on an airplane on very little sleep. Went over the time limit a little in editing and looking things up.
"The plant cuttings from M5S 527 have not done anything cool, but we think the second sample--the one from the nest that looked abandoned?--contains spam."
"I'm sorry--" Rodney usually knew what Dr. Miko was saying--her accent wasn't that thick, and she spoke fine idiomatic English--but this was new. "Spam?"
"Yes," she said very matter-of-factly and very clearly. "It might be something else, but it sure looks like spam."
"Okay, wait. Spam, like--spam?" She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows a little. "Spam like you would eat for lunch?"
Miko's eyes got very wide and she giggled uncomfortably, hiding her mouth. "Uh--I don't know."
"Spam, like spam, like--the luncheon meat, it comes in a can--" He subjected her to his singing voice. "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spammity spam. . ."
"OH!" Miko laughed again, this time seeming relieved. "No no no no! I see, spam like you would eat for lunch, hahaha, yes, no no no, sorry, my fault. Spam, like. . ." She made an odd gesture, pointing her finger and wiggling it as she moved her hand from right to left.
Rodney attempted to imitate her, even as he slowly began to realize that everyone in the lab was now watching their conversation. "Spam. . .wiggling spam. Swimming spam? With a tail? Little swimming--" He looked at the suddenly comical gesture he was making, then at Miko. "Sperm? Is that what you're saying? Sperm, like, spermatozoa?"
She nodded vigorously. "Yes! SPAM!"
It was at that point that even the non-native English speakers couldn't keep it together anymore, and the whole lab exploded in laughter and a smattering of applause. Miko just rolled her eyes in good-natured annoyance. "So, you want to take a look?"
While everyone was recovering their decorum, Rodney had the new experience of looking through a microscope at a sperm sample from an unknown nidificating mammal. Miko chattered away about chromosomes in an endearingly geeky way and he had the sudden impulse to reassure her that her English was just fine, but she already seemed to have put the whole spam thing behind her.
In any case, he never heard anyone make fun of Miko about the incident, even though for weeks afterwards, every time he was in the lab, somebody would say, "Hey, Rodney, what's for lunch?"
It really wasn't fair.
-end-
(Additional note: This is closely based on a conversation I once had with a friend whose first language was Japanese, except that I was saying "spam" and she was hearing "sperm." If she's out there, I apologize for mining our interactions for entertainment purposes. ;) )