Of Cats and Evil Pseudo-Government Renegades by Clockstopper Earthside Challenge
Of Cats and Evil Pseudo-Government Renegades by Clockstopper
Gen, although it's sort of Rodney/Lorne preslash-y
~1,798 words
PG
Summary: “I knew I should have just stayed in Atlantis.” Rodney almost gets kidnapped and Lorne has to play babysitter.
A/N: Takes place after The Hive so it does an AU thing.
Lorne didn’t want to spend his Earth vacation like this. No, he’d planned to catch up on some of the television he’d missed while away in the Pegasus Galaxy. He’d planned to catch up with old friends though he knew those conversations would probably be filled with silence and awkwardness. It didn’t matter though. It was something he had planned.
He had planned to do all the things you couldn’t do while on Atlantis and he’d planned to do them all in excess.
Lorne really should have learned that saying about the best laid plans.
“You have your gun right. I’d hate for you not to have it and then something horrible happen.” McKay says.
“Yes, for the hundredth time McKay, I have my gun.” Lorne says, his voice dry and tortured sounding.
The first time Colonel Sheppard asked if he wanted to come to Earth for some downtime because apparently he deserved it, Lorne had quickly said yes. Atlantis was great and he loved being there probably more than he let on, but Earth was still Earth. It was his home.
Now Lorne almost thinks that Sheppard asked him because he knew this was going to happen. It’s irrational because no one could really know, but it’s easier to be mad at his CO for just a little bit than at anything else.
And Sheppard’s smirking any time he sees Lorne really doesn’t help matters.
“You’d think I’d be used to threats on my life. I really, really am not. Especially not from people. Wraith… Wraith I can handle… okay not so much handle as shoot at them blindly and hope Sheppard and Ronon do their thing, but still.” McKay says as he paces his around his living room.
Lorne sighs. He’s been like this since the whole almost kidnapping incident happened. Babbles incoherently for hours about how he’s vital to everything and it’s no wonder creepy guys from the Trust want to capture him and make him do their evil bidding.
And because Colonel Sheppard is a complete and utter bastard, though Lorne would never tell him that, Lorne got stuck with babysitting duty where he sits up all night and watches out for anyone trying to get their hands on McKay. He sleeps during the day when McKay’s being watched by the guys at the SGC while he works in the labs.
Sometimes Lorne will go with him if Sheppard asks for him, which again is all part of the bastard thing. For the most part though, Lorne is up all night and he values his sleep just a little bit more than the SGC.
And of course McKay will come home at the end of the day and the whole cycle will start all over again.
“I knew I should have just stayed in Atlantis.” He grumbles as he plops down on his not so surprisingly soft armchair.
McKay’s furniture was definitely picked for it’s comfort level and the television has like a thousand channels so it hasn’t been terribly boring.
“Next time, listen to your gut.” Lorne says because he just can’t help himself.
He’s been working with McKay for close to a year, seen him at his worst and at his best and all his stages in between and he’s a good guy. A bit egotistical, but he’s brilliant and that happens sometimes when you’re as smart as he is.
They bitch at each other a lot whenever they have to work together, Lorne only stopping when Sheppard gives him that disapproving look that says he’s distracting McKay from doing something brilliant.
They got off to a rocky start, Lorne not liking that scientists had to go absolutely everywhere, but Atlantis was run differently from the SGC and he had to deal if he wanted to stay in the lost city of the Ancients. Genes can only go so far if you have a bad attitude. McKay wasn’t the ideal combat soldier that was for sure, but he was pretty handy to have around.
He’d saved Atlantis more than once.
“Yes, well, if Elizabeth hadn’t insisted on me coming back with the Daedelus for some downtime, I wouldn’t be here.”
Lorne nods. He remembers the huge argument McKay and Dr. Weir had had after the whole enzyme thing. She’d ordered both McKay and Sheppard some downtime on Earth when the Daedelus had left. Both had protested loudly.
“Well Dr. Weir does run the place.” Lorne says.
“Yes, I’m aware of that. Which is part of the reason I agreed to come. She better be prepared for a massive I told you so when I get back.”
“Come on, having someone watch your back can’t be that bad.”
“There are things I could be doing right now that I’m not.”
Lorne feels his face scrunch up, his mind immediately going bad, wrong places that he doesn’t want it to. He watches as McKay rolls his eyes and glare at him.
“I’m not talking about that.”
“Look, it’s for your safety. The SGC is investigating, but until they find anything concrete, it’s you and me until we head back to Atlantis.”
“Yes, well, why exactly is it you and me. I would have thought for sure Sheppard would have signed up for the job.” McKay says and he sounds more than just a little miffed.
Lorne can understand that. He’s been on Atlantis and he’s seen how McKay and Sheppard are with each other. They have a weird relationship that Lorne doesn’t even want to begin to understand, but it works for them and they’re definitely friends.
“I don’t know why, but are you complaining. You could have some grunt watching you.” Lorne says.
The easiest way to distract McKay is to point out how utterly stupid everyone else is.
“Well, you’re right about that. Still…”
“It’s just another two days. Can’t be that bad.” Lorne says smoothly.
And if McKay is a little pissed off by the interruption, he doesn’t say anything, which Lorne thanks his lucky stars for.
“I still had plans.”
“You don’t think I had plans.” Lorne asks a little defensively.
McKay studies him for a second, head cocked just a little to the side like he’s observing some experiment of his. He purses his lips a bit and his face scrunches up before he shakes his head and sighs.
“I suppose you did. Sorry evil pseudo-government renegades want to kidnap me and use me for my undoubtedly genius brain.”
Lorne smiles at that because it’s funny. If nothing else McKay’s a funny guy when he wants to be.
“Not like you can control that.”
McKay nods at that and sits back in his chair a little.
“So, what would you be doing if you weren’t holed up in this apartment?”
McKay scowls at him just a little and sighs again.
“What would you be doing?”
“I asked first.”
“Yes, but this is my place and you’re a guests. Guests always go first, so answer the question.”
Lorne cocks an eyebrow at that because it’s not like he’s a guest willingly, but he just sighs and shakes his head.
“Probably at an SGC rented hotel watching TV. Maybe out with some old buddies of mine.” Lorne says.
He looks at McKay expectantly hoping for the answer to his question, but McKay just scrunches up his face again and stands up. Lorne watches as he walks to the kitchen, hears the kitchen door open and watches as McKay emerges with a beer in his hand. He hurriedly opens it and takes a long swig from it before sitting back down in his chair.
“I’d spend some time with my cat.” McKay says after the beer is more than half way gone and Lorne has to admire his drinking skills because it doesn’t take that long for the beer to get into that state.
“You have a cat?” Lorne asks because he hasn’t seen one and he was part of the team that thoroughly checked the place out before McKay was even allowed to think about stepping foot in the place and there wasn’t a cat.
“Yes, he’s over with a neighbor. I haven’t been able to get him back, you know because of the not so much death as they are kidnapping threats. The SGC doesn’t want me diverting from the routine.”
“You asked?”
“Of course I asked.”
There’s a silence that spreads between them because Lorne can’t think of anything to say. Missing a cat is just so not Dr. Rodney McKay and at the same time it is that Lorne finds it just the slightest bit unsettling.
“Look, I know it’s silly for a grown man, a genius like me to…”
“No, it’s not silly. I mean it’s… it’s nice. Human.” Lorne says because it is.
Just another layer to the mystery that is Rodney McKay.
McKay grunts and shifts around as he finishes off the last of his beer and puts the empty bottle on the coffee table. He stands up and stretches a bit, grumbled complaints about his back falling from his lips.
“Well, it’s nice of you to think of me as a human Major. Now, I’m going to bed.” McKay grumbles, not looking back at Lorne to see if he cares.
Lorne just stares at the blank television set.
~*~
In the morning, Rodney can hear his alarm clock screeching and he shifts to press the snooze button when he feels something soft and fur and warm lying half way on his head. Rodney shifts a bit and is greeted with a mouthful of soft gray fur. His hands come up and pick up the thing lying on his head and he sits up.
It’s his cat. It’s his Oscar and there’s a string tied around his neck with a note and Rodney wants to squeal a little unmanly when he sees Oscar lying in his arms and especially when Oscar meows and him and brushes and licks his hand.
Rodney pulls off the note and looks down at it.
Sorry evil pseudo-government renegades want to kidnap you and use you for your undoubtedly genius brain. Hope this makes you feel better.
It’s not signed, but it doesn’t need to be. Rodney knows who’s handy work this is and he smiles a little bit and he knows that he should probably be pissed that Lorne left him alone to fetch his cat, but he can’t. He really can’t.
But he can’t of course say anything outright like ‘thanks’ or ‘I owe you one’. He’d end up getting long winded and sounding like a bumbling idiot anyways. So he sighs and puts Oscar down on the bed and watches as Oscar settles in like he’s always been there.
And Rodney wonders if Lorne likes pancakes.
FIN
Gen, although it's sort of Rodney/Lorne preslash-y
~1,798 words
PG
Summary: “I knew I should have just stayed in Atlantis.” Rodney almost gets kidnapped and Lorne has to play babysitter.
A/N: Takes place after The Hive so it does an AU thing.
Lorne didn’t want to spend his Earth vacation like this. No, he’d planned to catch up on some of the television he’d missed while away in the Pegasus Galaxy. He’d planned to catch up with old friends though he knew those conversations would probably be filled with silence and awkwardness. It didn’t matter though. It was something he had planned.
He had planned to do all the things you couldn’t do while on Atlantis and he’d planned to do them all in excess.
Lorne really should have learned that saying about the best laid plans.
“You have your gun right. I’d hate for you not to have it and then something horrible happen.” McKay says.
“Yes, for the hundredth time McKay, I have my gun.” Lorne says, his voice dry and tortured sounding.
The first time Colonel Sheppard asked if he wanted to come to Earth for some downtime because apparently he deserved it, Lorne had quickly said yes. Atlantis was great and he loved being there probably more than he let on, but Earth was still Earth. It was his home.
Now Lorne almost thinks that Sheppard asked him because he knew this was going to happen. It’s irrational because no one could really know, but it’s easier to be mad at his CO for just a little bit than at anything else.
And Sheppard’s smirking any time he sees Lorne really doesn’t help matters.
“You’d think I’d be used to threats on my life. I really, really am not. Especially not from people. Wraith… Wraith I can handle… okay not so much handle as shoot at them blindly and hope Sheppard and Ronon do their thing, but still.” McKay says as he paces his around his living room.
Lorne sighs. He’s been like this since the whole almost kidnapping incident happened. Babbles incoherently for hours about how he’s vital to everything and it’s no wonder creepy guys from the Trust want to capture him and make him do their evil bidding.
And because Colonel Sheppard is a complete and utter bastard, though Lorne would never tell him that, Lorne got stuck with babysitting duty where he sits up all night and watches out for anyone trying to get their hands on McKay. He sleeps during the day when McKay’s being watched by the guys at the SGC while he works in the labs.
Sometimes Lorne will go with him if Sheppard asks for him, which again is all part of the bastard thing. For the most part though, Lorne is up all night and he values his sleep just a little bit more than the SGC.
And of course McKay will come home at the end of the day and the whole cycle will start all over again.
“I knew I should have just stayed in Atlantis.” He grumbles as he plops down on his not so surprisingly soft armchair.
McKay’s furniture was definitely picked for it’s comfort level and the television has like a thousand channels so it hasn’t been terribly boring.
“Next time, listen to your gut.” Lorne says because he just can’t help himself.
He’s been working with McKay for close to a year, seen him at his worst and at his best and all his stages in between and he’s a good guy. A bit egotistical, but he’s brilliant and that happens sometimes when you’re as smart as he is.
They bitch at each other a lot whenever they have to work together, Lorne only stopping when Sheppard gives him that disapproving look that says he’s distracting McKay from doing something brilliant.
They got off to a rocky start, Lorne not liking that scientists had to go absolutely everywhere, but Atlantis was run differently from the SGC and he had to deal if he wanted to stay in the lost city of the Ancients. Genes can only go so far if you have a bad attitude. McKay wasn’t the ideal combat soldier that was for sure, but he was pretty handy to have around.
He’d saved Atlantis more than once.
“Yes, well, if Elizabeth hadn’t insisted on me coming back with the Daedelus for some downtime, I wouldn’t be here.”
Lorne nods. He remembers the huge argument McKay and Dr. Weir had had after the whole enzyme thing. She’d ordered both McKay and Sheppard some downtime on Earth when the Daedelus had left. Both had protested loudly.
“Well Dr. Weir does run the place.” Lorne says.
“Yes, I’m aware of that. Which is part of the reason I agreed to come. She better be prepared for a massive I told you so when I get back.”
“Come on, having someone watch your back can’t be that bad.”
“There are things I could be doing right now that I’m not.”
Lorne feels his face scrunch up, his mind immediately going bad, wrong places that he doesn’t want it to. He watches as McKay rolls his eyes and glare at him.
“I’m not talking about that.”
“Look, it’s for your safety. The SGC is investigating, but until they find anything concrete, it’s you and me until we head back to Atlantis.”
“Yes, well, why exactly is it you and me. I would have thought for sure Sheppard would have signed up for the job.” McKay says and he sounds more than just a little miffed.
Lorne can understand that. He’s been on Atlantis and he’s seen how McKay and Sheppard are with each other. They have a weird relationship that Lorne doesn’t even want to begin to understand, but it works for them and they’re definitely friends.
“I don’t know why, but are you complaining. You could have some grunt watching you.” Lorne says.
The easiest way to distract McKay is to point out how utterly stupid everyone else is.
“Well, you’re right about that. Still…”
“It’s just another two days. Can’t be that bad.” Lorne says smoothly.
And if McKay is a little pissed off by the interruption, he doesn’t say anything, which Lorne thanks his lucky stars for.
“I still had plans.”
“You don’t think I had plans.” Lorne asks a little defensively.
McKay studies him for a second, head cocked just a little to the side like he’s observing some experiment of his. He purses his lips a bit and his face scrunches up before he shakes his head and sighs.
“I suppose you did. Sorry evil pseudo-government renegades want to kidnap me and use me for my undoubtedly genius brain.”
Lorne smiles at that because it’s funny. If nothing else McKay’s a funny guy when he wants to be.
“Not like you can control that.”
McKay nods at that and sits back in his chair a little.
“So, what would you be doing if you weren’t holed up in this apartment?”
McKay scowls at him just a little and sighs again.
“What would you be doing?”
“I asked first.”
“Yes, but this is my place and you’re a guests. Guests always go first, so answer the question.”
Lorne cocks an eyebrow at that because it’s not like he’s a guest willingly, but he just sighs and shakes his head.
“Probably at an SGC rented hotel watching TV. Maybe out with some old buddies of mine.” Lorne says.
He looks at McKay expectantly hoping for the answer to his question, but McKay just scrunches up his face again and stands up. Lorne watches as he walks to the kitchen, hears the kitchen door open and watches as McKay emerges with a beer in his hand. He hurriedly opens it and takes a long swig from it before sitting back down in his chair.
“I’d spend some time with my cat.” McKay says after the beer is more than half way gone and Lorne has to admire his drinking skills because it doesn’t take that long for the beer to get into that state.
“You have a cat?” Lorne asks because he hasn’t seen one and he was part of the team that thoroughly checked the place out before McKay was even allowed to think about stepping foot in the place and there wasn’t a cat.
“Yes, he’s over with a neighbor. I haven’t been able to get him back, you know because of the not so much death as they are kidnapping threats. The SGC doesn’t want me diverting from the routine.”
“You asked?”
“Of course I asked.”
There’s a silence that spreads between them because Lorne can’t think of anything to say. Missing a cat is just so not Dr. Rodney McKay and at the same time it is that Lorne finds it just the slightest bit unsettling.
“Look, I know it’s silly for a grown man, a genius like me to…”
“No, it’s not silly. I mean it’s… it’s nice. Human.” Lorne says because it is.
Just another layer to the mystery that is Rodney McKay.
McKay grunts and shifts around as he finishes off the last of his beer and puts the empty bottle on the coffee table. He stands up and stretches a bit, grumbled complaints about his back falling from his lips.
“Well, it’s nice of you to think of me as a human Major. Now, I’m going to bed.” McKay grumbles, not looking back at Lorne to see if he cares.
Lorne just stares at the blank television set.
~*~
In the morning, Rodney can hear his alarm clock screeching and he shifts to press the snooze button when he feels something soft and fur and warm lying half way on his head. Rodney shifts a bit and is greeted with a mouthful of soft gray fur. His hands come up and pick up the thing lying on his head and he sits up.
It’s his cat. It’s his Oscar and there’s a string tied around his neck with a note and Rodney wants to squeal a little unmanly when he sees Oscar lying in his arms and especially when Oscar meows and him and brushes and licks his hand.
Rodney pulls off the note and looks down at it.
Sorry evil pseudo-government renegades want to kidnap you and use you for your undoubtedly genius brain. Hope this makes you feel better.
It’s not signed, but it doesn’t need to be. Rodney knows who’s handy work this is and he smiles a little bit and he knows that he should probably be pissed that Lorne left him alone to fetch his cat, but he can’t. He really can’t.
But he can’t of course say anything outright like ‘thanks’ or ‘I owe you one’. He’d end up getting long winded and sounding like a bumbling idiot anyways. So he sighs and puts Oscar down on the bed and watches as Oscar settles in like he’s always been there.
And Rodney wonders if Lorne likes pancakes.
FIN