"Legs" by kyrdwyn (Not Happening Challenge)
Title: Legs
Author: kyrdwyn
Genre: Gen Fic
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~400
Summary: "I vote for the run screaming part," Rodney replied.
"This is not happening."
Rodney looked up from his breakfast to see Sheppard staring at something. "Colonel?" he asked.
"This is not happening. This must be what having a psychotic break feels like."
The colonel was still staring, his face frozen and his eyes wide. "What's not happening?" Rodney asked impatiently.
"That," Sheppard said, pointing with his fork behind Rodney.
Rodney turned and scanned the mess hall behind him. He saw what had Sheppard so freaked out and his mouth dropped open. "Oh God, this is not real," he murmured.
"Agreed," Sheppard said. "Is it too early for vodka?"
"I don't think that will be strong enough to scrub my brain out," Rodney replied.
"I have my private label stash," Radek murmured as he sat down at the table. "Rotgut, as Major Lorne calls it, but good for inducing amnesia." He looked at where Rodney and Sheppard were still staring and shuddered. "Much needed amnesia."
"Part of me wants to know where he got it, and part of me just wants to run screaming," Sheppard said.
"I vote for the run screaming part," Rodney replied. "I don't want to know where or why."
"Agreed," Radek said. "That would be something I think should be added to the 'don't ask-don't tell' rule."
"Did the Norse people even wear that?" Rodney asked.
Carson slipped into the empty seat at the table. "Whether they did wear kilts or not is moot, Rodney, as they definitely would not have been wearing a Royal Stuart tartan kilt." He looked over at Hermiod. "He's wearing it wrong."
"He doesn’t have the legs for it, either," Sheppard said. When the others turned to look at him, he shrugged. "I like legs, doesn't matter what gender they go with."
They continued to watch as Hermiod, kilt still in place, left the mess hall in the company of Dr. Novak. Rodney turned to Radek at the same time Sheppard and Carson did. "Alcohol," he said.
"Yes," Radek said. "My room, one hour."
Sheppard opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and shook his head. "This is really not happening," he finally said. "I want alcohol. Now."
Rodney looked at the other two and shrugged. They shrugged back and got up with Sheppard to leave. As they turned toward the mess hall doors, they saw why Sheppard needed booze, quickly.
At least, Rodney thought on his way out of the mess hall, Ronon had the legs for a kilt.
Author: kyrdwyn
Genre: Gen Fic
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~400
Summary: "I vote for the run screaming part," Rodney replied.
"This is not happening."
Rodney looked up from his breakfast to see Sheppard staring at something. "Colonel?" he asked.
"This is not happening. This must be what having a psychotic break feels like."
The colonel was still staring, his face frozen and his eyes wide. "What's not happening?" Rodney asked impatiently.
"That," Sheppard said, pointing with his fork behind Rodney.
Rodney turned and scanned the mess hall behind him. He saw what had Sheppard so freaked out and his mouth dropped open. "Oh God, this is not real," he murmured.
"Agreed," Sheppard said. "Is it too early for vodka?"
"I don't think that will be strong enough to scrub my brain out," Rodney replied.
"I have my private label stash," Radek murmured as he sat down at the table. "Rotgut, as Major Lorne calls it, but good for inducing amnesia." He looked at where Rodney and Sheppard were still staring and shuddered. "Much needed amnesia."
"Part of me wants to know where he got it, and part of me just wants to run screaming," Sheppard said.
"I vote for the run screaming part," Rodney replied. "I don't want to know where or why."
"Agreed," Radek said. "That would be something I think should be added to the 'don't ask-don't tell' rule."
"Did the Norse people even wear that?" Rodney asked.
Carson slipped into the empty seat at the table. "Whether they did wear kilts or not is moot, Rodney, as they definitely would not have been wearing a Royal Stuart tartan kilt." He looked over at Hermiod. "He's wearing it wrong."
"He doesn’t have the legs for it, either," Sheppard said. When the others turned to look at him, he shrugged. "I like legs, doesn't matter what gender they go with."
They continued to watch as Hermiod, kilt still in place, left the mess hall in the company of Dr. Novak. Rodney turned to Radek at the same time Sheppard and Carson did. "Alcohol," he said.
"Yes," Radek said. "My room, one hour."
Sheppard opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and shook his head. "This is really not happening," he finally said. "I want alcohol. Now."
Rodney looked at the other two and shrugged. They shrugged back and got up with Sheppard to leave. As they turned toward the mess hall doors, they saw why Sheppard needed booze, quickly.
At least, Rodney thought on his way out of the mess hall, Ronon had the legs for a kilt.