MISSION REPORTS by Teand (Documentation Challenge)
Title: Mission Reports
Author: Teand
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Summary: Dr. Weir puts her foot down.
From: Dr. Elizabeth Weir
To: All Atlantis Personnel
Re: Mission Reports
As of right this moment, mission reports will include only details pertaining to the status of negotiated treaties, trade agreements, or possible ZPMs. All medical details will be filtered through Dr. Beckett. As far as the Atlantis mission is concerned, don't ask, don't tell has been replaced by I don't want to know!
If the away team was captured, I want to know that they are safely back in Atlantis but I don't want to know the details of how one member of the team had to wear strategic chocolate sauce and use a feather to placate the son/daughter/wife/husband of the chief who, singularly or collectively, took a fancy to him or her.
When trade agreements go amazingly in our favor, I don't want to know what one or more members of the team agreed to give away in order to get those terms. Nor do I need to know how many times they gave it away or much noise they made doing it.
I don't want to know if aliens convinced the entire away team it was for the good of Atlantis that they should have sex on an altar in the town square. I don't want to know if aliens convinced part of the away team to have sex on an altar in their town square. I don't want to know how surprisingly flexible, voluble, durable, or hirsute some members of the team find other members of the team. I don't want to hear the details, be shown the bite marks, or see the avi file.
I especially don't want to know which member of the team set up the tripod for the data recorder.
For heaven's sake people, we're the best and the brightest. Could we at least attempt to stop acting like a group of horny teenagers!
From: Dr. Rodney McKay
To: Lt. Colonel John Shepard
Re: Mission Reports
You showed her the file?
From: Lt. Colonel John Shepard
To: Dr. Rodney McKay
Re: Mission Reports
Hirsute?
Author: Teand
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Summary: Dr. Weir puts her foot down.
From: Dr. Elizabeth Weir
To: All Atlantis Personnel
Re: Mission Reports
As of right this moment, mission reports will include only details pertaining to the status of negotiated treaties, trade agreements, or possible ZPMs. All medical details will be filtered through Dr. Beckett. As far as the Atlantis mission is concerned, don't ask, don't tell has been replaced by I don't want to know!
If the away team was captured, I want to know that they are safely back in Atlantis but I don't want to know the details of how one member of the team had to wear strategic chocolate sauce and use a feather to placate the son/daughter/wife/husband of the chief who, singularly or collectively, took a fancy to him or her.
When trade agreements go amazingly in our favor, I don't want to know what one or more members of the team agreed to give away in order to get those terms. Nor do I need to know how many times they gave it away or much noise they made doing it.
I don't want to know if aliens convinced the entire away team it was for the good of Atlantis that they should have sex on an altar in the town square. I don't want to know if aliens convinced part of the away team to have sex on an altar in their town square. I don't want to know how surprisingly flexible, voluble, durable, or hirsute some members of the team find other members of the team. I don't want to hear the details, be shown the bite marks, or see the avi file.
I especially don't want to know which member of the team set up the tripod for the data recorder.
For heaven's sake people, we're the best and the brightest. Could we at least attempt to stop acting like a group of horny teenagers!
From: Dr. Rodney McKay
To: Lt. Colonel John Shepard
Re: Mission Reports
You showed her the file?
From: Lt. Colonel John Shepard
To: Dr. Rodney McKay
Re: Mission Reports
Hirsute?