Stop the Presses by cofax (Gen)
Stop the Presses
by cofax
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Spoilers: mild ones for Critical Mass
For the Documentation challenge.
Summary: Kavanagh's a little peeved.
***
The LA Times National Desk: raw copy and editorial notes on unfiled story.
DENVER, CO, Feb. 22 -- An American scientist claims he has proof that the United States, in league with Canada and a dozen other nations, has been sending military personnel to other planets by way of a mysterious alien device.
Dr. Berend Kavanagh, a consultant with the United States Air Force at NORAD outside of Colorado Springs, last week revealed to a select group of scientists and journalists his evidence for these remarkable claims. Dr. Kavanagh, who attended MIT and researched nuclear engineering at Stanford before taking his position with the Air Force in 2002, claims not only to have proof of the US' involvement in this complicated plot, but to have journeyed himself to other planets. [Oh, you have got to be kidding me, Colin. What is this, Star Trek? Where's the Proof?]
This reporter was one of the small group assembled in a garage on the south side of Denver, the address of which was not disclosed, to judge the evidence before Dr. Kavanagh made his allegations public. The evidence included little in the way of physical material; Dr. Kavanagh said that security considerations prevented him from "sneaking it out of the mountain," apparently referring to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex where NORAD is located. Instead he offered hundreds, possibly thousands, of photographs; gigabytes of data encoded in emails and various electronic files, and a single weapon.
The weapon, which Dr. Kavanagh referred to as a "zat", did not resemble any weapon this reporter has ever seen; and it succeeded in quite literally, evaporating a cinder block placed in the middle of the garage floor. After three of the bizarre blue electrical shocks from the "zat", the cinder block was gone, with no dust or other evidence that it was ever there. [You've never heard of The Amazing Randi? Jesus, Colin, when did you get so gullible?]
Dr. Maria Schell, of the University of Colorado, was one of the scientists invited to examine Dr. Kavanagh's evidence. She was, she admits, dubious about his claims. "I mean, come on," she said. "He's talking about aliens. This is hardly The X-Files." But she also admits that no human technology she is aware of could evaporate a cinder block and leave no trace it was ever there. "On the other hand," she says cautiously, "magicians make a habit out of duping logical people like me." She remains intrigued, but says she is firmly on the fence until she can get more solid evidence, and is allowed to test it herself. [AND? Was she? Follow Up!]
By comparison, Jerome Benson, writer and moderator of the progressive science and politics blog "The Skepticrat", is both a believer and enthusiastic about the possibilities. "It's precisely the sort of thing I'd expect this administration to be doing. Did you *see* those pictures? All that [stuff] the military's been hiding all this time? Aliens! My god! Not to mention the casualties they've been lying about for years!" [We are definitely in the land of the crackpots now. NOBODY believes Benson, he's completely partisan. Everyone knows damned well he planted that story about Rove and the goats.]
Dr. Kavanagh claims that more than one hundred Air Force personnel have died in the last ten years while on operations as part of this "Stargate" program, and that hundreds -- even thousands -- more have been put at risk of injury or death. [NAMES, please? What did the USAF say they died of, and where?] It is even his assertion that the Denver Flu that swept through the United States last month, before being defeated by a vaccine developed by the CDC in coordination with USAMRIID, actually originated on another planet and was released accidentally. [Oh, this is absurd.]
Last year, prior to his disgrace in an insider-trading scandal, billionaire CEO Alec Colson, of Colson Industries, made similar claims, even going so far as to produce an alien for the public. However Air Force spokesperson Lt. Col. Samantha Carter produced a hologram of an alien, identical to Colson's, as proof that Colson's claims were fraudulent. While there is as yet no proof that Colson is vindicated, Dr. Kavanagh claims that Lt. Col. Carter is not only part of the alleged conspiracy, but in fact one of the scientists developing weapons based on materials obtained from aliens on other planets. [Okay, that's actually kind of interesting. We have any more on this Carter? And did you get a look at any of the emails? What other names are in there? And why not do a followup on Colson? What's he think of Kavanagh's claims?]
Dr. Kavanagh himself has refrained from saying why he waited so long to bring this information to the public, if indeed the Air Force has been hiding the existence of aliens and interplanetary travel for over ten years. When asked directly, he merely said, "They say they're doing it for the good of everyone. They think they're the heroes. Well, they're wrong -- they're just lucky, that's all." He added, almost as an afterthought, "And the people deserve the truth." [ Like he doesn't have an axe to grind.]
The US Air Force has not commented on this issue, and has directed all inquiries to the Public Affairs Office of the Pentagon.
[Colin, you can't honestly believe we're going to run this, even as a fluff piece. Go dig around some more, and get me something legitimate and less X-Filesy to pin it to, and maybe we can talk. -- Kate]
by cofax
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Spoilers: mild ones for Critical Mass
For the Documentation challenge.
Summary: Kavanagh's a little peeved.
***
The LA Times National Desk: raw copy and editorial notes on unfiled story.
DENVER, CO, Feb. 22 -- An American scientist claims he has proof that the United States, in league with Canada and a dozen other nations, has been sending military personnel to other planets by way of a mysterious alien device.
Dr. Berend Kavanagh, a consultant with the United States Air Force at NORAD outside of Colorado Springs, last week revealed to a select group of scientists and journalists his evidence for these remarkable claims. Dr. Kavanagh, who attended MIT and researched nuclear engineering at Stanford before taking his position with the Air Force in 2002, claims not only to have proof of the US' involvement in this complicated plot, but to have journeyed himself to other planets. [Oh, you have got to be kidding me, Colin. What is this, Star Trek? Where's the Proof?]
This reporter was one of the small group assembled in a garage on the south side of Denver, the address of which was not disclosed, to judge the evidence before Dr. Kavanagh made his allegations public. The evidence included little in the way of physical material; Dr. Kavanagh said that security considerations prevented him from "sneaking it out of the mountain," apparently referring to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex where NORAD is located. Instead he offered hundreds, possibly thousands, of photographs; gigabytes of data encoded in emails and various electronic files, and a single weapon.
The weapon, which Dr. Kavanagh referred to as a "zat", did not resemble any weapon this reporter has ever seen; and it succeeded in quite literally, evaporating a cinder block placed in the middle of the garage floor. After three of the bizarre blue electrical shocks from the "zat", the cinder block was gone, with no dust or other evidence that it was ever there. [You've never heard of The Amazing Randi? Jesus, Colin, when did you get so gullible?]
Dr. Maria Schell, of the University of Colorado, was one of the scientists invited to examine Dr. Kavanagh's evidence. She was, she admits, dubious about his claims. "I mean, come on," she said. "He's talking about aliens. This is hardly The X-Files." But she also admits that no human technology she is aware of could evaporate a cinder block and leave no trace it was ever there. "On the other hand," she says cautiously, "magicians make a habit out of duping logical people like me." She remains intrigued, but says she is firmly on the fence until she can get more solid evidence, and is allowed to test it herself. [AND? Was she? Follow Up!]
By comparison, Jerome Benson, writer and moderator of the progressive science and politics blog "The Skepticrat", is both a believer and enthusiastic about the possibilities. "It's precisely the sort of thing I'd expect this administration to be doing. Did you *see* those pictures? All that [stuff] the military's been hiding all this time? Aliens! My god! Not to mention the casualties they've been lying about for years!" [We are definitely in the land of the crackpots now. NOBODY believes Benson, he's completely partisan. Everyone knows damned well he planted that story about Rove and the goats.]
Dr. Kavanagh claims that more than one hundred Air Force personnel have died in the last ten years while on operations as part of this "Stargate" program, and that hundreds -- even thousands -- more have been put at risk of injury or death. [NAMES, please? What did the USAF say they died of, and where?] It is even his assertion that the Denver Flu that swept through the United States last month, before being defeated by a vaccine developed by the CDC in coordination with USAMRIID, actually originated on another planet and was released accidentally. [Oh, this is absurd.]
Last year, prior to his disgrace in an insider-trading scandal, billionaire CEO Alec Colson, of Colson Industries, made similar claims, even going so far as to produce an alien for the public. However Air Force spokesperson Lt. Col. Samantha Carter produced a hologram of an alien, identical to Colson's, as proof that Colson's claims were fraudulent. While there is as yet no proof that Colson is vindicated, Dr. Kavanagh claims that Lt. Col. Carter is not only part of the alleged conspiracy, but in fact one of the scientists developing weapons based on materials obtained from aliens on other planets. [Okay, that's actually kind of interesting. We have any more on this Carter? And did you get a look at any of the emails? What other names are in there? And why not do a followup on Colson? What's he think of Kavanagh's claims?]
Dr. Kavanagh himself has refrained from saying why he waited so long to bring this information to the public, if indeed the Air Force has been hiding the existence of aliens and interplanetary travel for over ten years. When asked directly, he merely said, "They say they're doing it for the good of everyone. They think they're the heroes. Well, they're wrong -- they're just lucky, that's all." He added, almost as an afterthought, "And the people deserve the truth." [ Like he doesn't have an axe to grind.]
The US Air Force has not commented on this issue, and has directed all inquiries to the Public Affairs Office of the Pentagon.
[Colin, you can't honestly believe we're going to run this, even as a fluff piece. Go dig around some more, and get me something legitimate and less X-Filesy to pin it to, and maybe we can talk. -- Kate]