Fic: Role of a Lifetime, by Kyrdwyn (R; Multiple Pairings)(Harlequin Challenge)

[kyrdwyn]

Title: Role of a Lifetime (Harlequin Challenge)
Author: kyrdwyn
Rating: R - language & sexual situations
Word Count: ~10,400
Pairing: Sheppard/Beckett, McKay/Zelenka, Weir/OMC, Lorne/Cadman
Genre: Total AU
Spoilers: None
Beta: rosewildeirish corrected me as I wrote. Remaining mistakes are mine.

Summary: When an American tourist gets mistaken for the ruling Prince of Atlantis, he gets the chance to play the role of a lifetime.

Notes: Written for the sga_flashfic Harlequin Romance Plot challenge. I tried to keep this short, but the story wouldn't let me. This story borrows characters from Stargate SG-1 as well as the character of Brendan from the Joe Flanigan movie "Thoughtcrimes" (all right, just the name and the appearance, anyway)



Prime Minister Rodney McKay looked out the window of his limousine and stared at the man walking into the Royal Atlantean Arms Hotel. This couldn't be that easy, he thought. Then again, his cousin wasn't known for his brains, which was why Rodney was the one really running the country. Not that anyone knew it, because if the Genii movement realized the Prince was pretty much incompetent, they'd have the opportunity they needed to revolt.

Turning to his personal bodyguard, Captain David Bates, Rodney gestured to the hotel. "Did you see him?"

Captain Bates nodded. "Shall I go in and fetch him?"

Rodney shook his head. "No, we can't risk Kolya and his group finding out that Brendan's done a runner." He stared at the hotel. "Send Cadman in. She's new enough that Brendan wouldn't know her, and pretty enough to turn his head. Have her pretend to be a tourist looking for directions or a good time or whatever works to get him back to the castle."

Bates nodded and pulled out his cell phone. Rodney stared at the hotel. Damn you, Brendan, he thought. I'm one week away from ensuring that our country isn't annexed by the French or destroyed by revolution, and you have to have your mid-life crisis. Well, you are not going to ruin Atlantis while I'm around.

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard frowned as he undid his tie for the third time. Considering ties were part of his uniform, you would think he wouldn't have so much trouble with civilian ones.

Finally getting it right, he picked up his blazer and shrugged into it. Figuring he was only getting the chance to visit his great-great-grandfather's home country once, John had splurged and taken a room at the fanciest hotel in the capital city of Atlantis. This meant dressing for dinner in their main restaurant. He could go out to McDonald's, but what was the fun in that?

Besides, the natives tended to look at him oddly when he went out. Some shopkeepers had almost fawned over him when he was buying souvenirs to send back to his friends in the States, and that had made him feel uncomfortable.

Tucking his room key and passport into the inside pocket of his blazer, John headed for the restaurant. A woman in the lobby caught his eye and he gave her a look. Long strawberry-blonde hair floated around white shoulders and down her back, set off by the dark green sleeveless dress she wore. She smiled at John, and he smiled back out of courtesy. He really wasn't in the mood to chat up a lady tonight. Unfortunately, she took his smile as an invitation and sauntered over.

"I'm Laura," she said, still smiling, her voice tinged with the Atlantean accent.

"John," he replied politely.

"Are you waiting for someone, or could a girl buy you dinner?"

John quirked an eyebrow, wondering if Laura's boldness had anything to do with the attitude of the shopkeepers earlier. "I don't mind company," he said. "But I prefer to buy my own dinner. Less hurt feelings in the long run."

Laura laughed and took the arm he proffered. "I can handle that," she said as they entered the dining room.

John smiled, relieved he wasn't going to owe her anything more than his company at dinner. He wasn't in the mood for a one night stand.

Lieutenant Laura Cadman had known by the time the main course was served that her dinner partner was not the runaway prince Brendan. He was too knowledgeable about certain issues and not about others. It could have been an act, but she didn't think so. His accent never wavered into the long Atlantean vowels, and the U.S. passport he'd shown as ID to prove he was old enough to drink wine was too worn and contained too many stamps to be something created in a hurry.

Excusing herself to use the ladies room before dessert, she called her captain and outlined the situation and her gut feeling that this guy really was John Sheppard, an American pilot who looked an awful lot like the missing prince.

"Are you sure?" Bates asked her.

"Sir, has Prince Brendan ever been able to discuss the differences between flying helicopters and flying jets, in detail? This guy is a pilot, the Prince isn't."

Bates paused. "Damn. The minister's going to have a fit."

"What should I do, sir?"

"Lure him back to the castle anyway. Use the garden tour that we discussed earlier."

"I'm not so sure he's interested in me like that, sir," she said nervously.

"Make him interested, Lieutenant," Bates snapped before ending the call. Laura sighed and adjusted the top of her dress before heading back to the table.

John wandered around the gardens of Lantia Castle with Laura, wondering how in the world he had allowed himself to be talked into the tour.

He'd just turned to Laura to make his excuses when a man wearing the uniform of the Royal Guards approached.

"Ser Sheppard?" he asked, giving John the Atlantean honorific instead of the English one. It put John on his guard more than if the man had addressed him by rank.

"Yes," he said, glancing at Laura, who looked . . . guilty.

"Captain Bates of the Royal Guards. Come with me, please," he said. Two other men stepped out of the gardens, their hands on their sidearms.

John sighed inwardly and put a smile on his face. "Always glad to cooperate with the local law enforcement," he said cheerily, following the captain.

Sheppard stared at Rodney McKay, who couldn't believe how much the other man looked like Brendan.

"Wait," Sheppard was saying, and aside from the accent, he even sounded like Brendan, "you want me to masquerade as your runaway cousin during the ceremonies leading up to his marriage to Prince Carson of Scota, as well as during some meetings that the Prince absolutely has to attend? While your guards are out looking for him but not letting anyone know that he's missing."

Rodney sat back in his chair, nodding. "That's the gist of it, yeah," he said. He'd thought Bates was nuts when he'd first brought this plan to Rodney, but it just might work. "Granted, you'll need to work on the accent and we'll have to do something about the hair, but you are a spitting image of Brendan. And don't worry about Prince Carson - I arranged this marriage for Brendan, they've never actually met."

John's jaw dropped. "You arranged for your cousin to marry a man he's never even met?"

Rodney shrugged. "We're facing the French wanting to take us over and the Prince has to marry before his 35th birthday or they're allowed to. Something way back in our history, it's too boring to get into right now." Something he would change if he could, but he doubted the French would let them. Atlantis was a prime tourist destination; it would bring a lot of money into the French treasury.

The American pilot stuck his hands in his pockets. "So, when's the Prince's birthday, and what if you haven't found him by then?"

Rodney sighed. "It's in a week, and I don't know."

"I am not marrying this Prince Carson to keep your country out of the hands of the French. I agreed to die for my country if need be, but I'm not marrying to protect yours." He stared at Rodney, who finally nodded.

"If I haven't found Brendan before the wedding, I'll think of something. Other than your marriage to Prince Carson."

"I want my stuff brought here from the Royal Atlantean Arms. If I have to pretend to be the Prince, I'm not wasting my money on a hotel room I'm not using."

"Fine, fine, yes. So you'll do it?" Rodney asked eagerly.

The other man shook his head. "General O'Neill is going to bust my ass down to Airman if he hears about this," John muttered before looking up at Rodney. "Yeah, I'll do it."

Rodney grinned. That was one load off his shoulders. Now to turn the pilot into a Prince, and find Brendan.

Radek Zelenka, Earl of Athos, had often thought Rodney McKay was a tad unhinged, but that came with being the person who ran the country while the titular Prince acted like a playboy. This, however . . . this was beyond anything Radek could ever dream his friend would do.

"You hired an American pilot to foist on Prince Carson as Prince Brendan? Ancestors preserve us, Rodney, you are giving Kolya what he needs to incite the people to revolt!"

"Calm down, Radek. It's just for a week, at official functions, where all they have to do is stand around, shake hands with dignitaries, and look good in their suits and sashes. Meanwhile, Bates has a lead on Brendan, he should be back here in time for the wedding." Rodney was digging through the castle kitchen's refrigerator, not bothering to look at Radek.

"Yes, and what happens if Prince Carson falls in love with the not-Prince Brendan to find a changeling in his wedding bed? Our military is not what it was, and Scota's navy could stay in international waters and finish us off before having tea and crumpets."

"You've been reading too many romance novels, Radek. Stick to your physics books." Rodney triumphantly held up a plastic baggie of sliced turkey. "Sandwich?"

Radek muttered under his breath in Czech, his mother's language. "My friend," he said aloud in English, "you know I will support you in everything you do, but this is a bad idea. Brendan is gone. Declare him missing and take the throne under Article Eight of our laws. Get married, have children, let Atlantis thrive without this charade that I have a bad feeling about."

"Brendan hasn't formally abdicated," Rodney said around a mouthful of turkey as he made his sandwich.

Radek threw up his hands. "He is gone - a week before his wedding! He left a note saying not to look for him! He left you the Official Seal and the Crystal Sceptre in your office! How much more do you need?"

Rodney looked up. "Formal abdication, ala King Edward the VIII would be nice. If I invoke Article Eight, the Genii movement will use that to paint me as a power hungry relative who is upset about not being formally royal because of his mother's bad taste in men, and insinuate that I killed Brendan to take the throne."

"Your father isn't the issue, Rodney. Your cousin is. You'll have my support and that of the other peers - we all know what you do for our country."

Rodney shook his head. "We need our Prince."

"You are a prince, even if the stupid laws do not acknowledge it." A prince in more ways than one, although Rodney seemed oblivious to Radek's advances.

Rodney shrugged as he bit into his sandwich. "It's bad enough for most people that my nephew is currently next in line to the throne. If I took over and had kids, it would be a disaster."

"So marry and don't have kids. There are plenty who will marry you, Rodney." Like me, Radek didn't add.

Rodney shook his head. "We've got to keep the power structure stable. That means Brendan on the throne." He held out the second half of his sandwich. "Sure you don't want any?"

Radek sighed and grabbed the sandwich. "I will regret this, but I will help you any way I can," he said, his insides warming at Rodney's open smile.

John frowned at his image in the mirror. He was used to seeing himself in dress blues, but this Armani suit and emerald green sash combo was out of his frame of reference.

"Looks good."

John turned to Laura Cadman, frowning at her. "You're not helping, Lieutenant."

She grinned unrepentantly and came up to brush dust off his collar. She was in the Royal Guard uniform, her hair pulled back in military style. "Sorry, Your Highness, but it's not every day I actually get to tease the Prince."

"I'm not the Prince, and you know it. You don't have to call me 'Your Highness'," John said with a scowl.

"Well, once we go through those doors, you are the Prince, and I can't afford to screw up and call you 'John' or even 'Lieutenant Colonel'," she said seriously.

John nodded. "Fine."

"Hey, it will be all right," she said. "You'll charm Prince Carson and Captain Bates will find Prince Brendan and you'll go back to the US with the minister's thanks and probably something financial in our bank for your trouble," she added with a grimace. "The minister might want to knight you, but that's Prince Brendan's call, and he may not be as thrilled."

"No, really." John couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

A knock on the door signaled it was time for John to make his first appearance as Prince Brendan. Laura stood back. "If I can ask, Your Highness, why did you insist that I be your personal bodyguard? I'm not exactly high up on the choice assignment list."

"You survived a date with John Sheppard, Lieutenant. You're the best person to see when I start acting like myself."

She nodded before opening the door. John pulled himself into Prince Brendan's posture and followed her out into the hall, past a few doors and through another one just as 'his' name was called out.

"His Royal Highness, Prince Brendan of Atlantis."

John stepped onto the stage, keeping his normal smile toned down to Brendan's more distant one. McKay bowed to him, and he gave the half bow back before straightening. Next to McKay was Scota's Ambassador, Teyla Emmagen, who had brokered the marriage deal with McKay. She'd never met Prince Brendan, either, so she wouldn't be a problem, he hoped. She gave him a graceful curtsy and he bowed before turning to the entrance on the other side, waiting.

"His Highness, Prince Carson of Scota."

Prince Carson emerged from the wings, and John had to remind himself to keep his jaw closed and his tongue in his mouth. The prince was stunning - dark hair and piercing blue eyes, a hint of stubble around the jaw giving him a rebellious look. He was wearing a dark jacket over a white shirt, and a kilt. While John knew Scota was an offshoot country from Scotland, he hadn't been anticipating a kilt. A very nice kilt in dark red and green that showed off the prince's legs in their white knee high socks and shoes. He even had a sporran.

Damn, John thought he could enjoy this assignment. Until he remembered that Prince Carson was meant for Prince Brendan, not John Sheppard.

That killed his lust throughout the signing of the betrothal contract, which luckily only required the signet ring and not his actual signature. He smiled and posed for photo ops with Prince Carson, accepted toasts on their behalf, and hopefully never broke out of character.

It was torture.

Finally, McKay thanked the guests for coming and John and Prince Carson were herded out of the formal hall by their body guards. The Prince's men were in kilts as well. Laura was discretely eyeing up one of them, and John resisted the urge to kick her ankle. If he couldn't look, dammit, she shouldn't be able to, either.

They came to a smaller reception hall, and the guards went in first before allowing John and Prince Carson in. The two men entered, then the guards left, closing the door behind them. Apparently, the Prince and his 'betrothed' were to be allowed some alone time.

Prince Carson eyed John. "You're not what I expected, given your reputation. I figured that cousin of yours would have to drag you kicking and screaming to the ceremony."

John raised an eyebrow. "Trying to sabotage our engagement before the wedding?" he drawled in his best non-Californian voice.

Prince Carson shrugged. "Wasn't my idea to marry you. My oldest brother thinks it's high time I settled down. Just because he and my four other brothers have all married and had kids, I'm supposed to follow."

"Isn't that the duty of a prince, to provide heirs?" John asked, curious.

A very unroyal snort was the prince's response. "My oldest brother is Scota's king. He's got five sons, and my four other brothers have each got at least two sons. I'm way down on the heirship list, Brendan."

"Ah," John said, not wanting to say much else, for fear he'd expose his ignorance of the various royal families.

"Tell me this, your cousin said that as your consort I'd be allowed to continue my work. Was he telling me the truth?" Prince Carson turned his full gaze on John, who tried not to drown in it.

"He didn't tell me that part of the bargain," John hedged. "What is your work?"

Carson rolled his eyes and turned to the table in the corner, where someone had placed a tray of sandwiches and a variety of drinks. Carson poured himself a glass of wine and sipped from it. "I'm a medical doctor, specializing in genetic research. I'm working on some of the diseases caused by chromosomal anomalies."

"Sounds like a worthy endeavor," John replied. "I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't be able to continue it after our marriage." After Brendan's marriage, he amended silently.

"Well, I guess that leaves just one more matter to be settled, then." The Scotan prince set down his wine glass and crossed the room to John. He reached behind John with one hand, pulling John's head down to his and locking their lips in a kiss.

It didn't take much encouragement from Carson's mouth for John's to open, and allow the other man's tongue free reign. John found his hands stroking up and down Carson's back as their tongues tasted and stroked. John got hard, and could feel that Carson was too.

Carson finally pulled back, and John enjoyed seeing the dazed look in the other man's eyes.

"Well then," Carson murmured. "I'd say we will be compatible in bed after all." He grinned. "Makes this marriage something to look forward to."

John smiled back, but inside, his heart was sinking into his stomach. While John had been kissing Carson, Carson had been kissing Brendan.

Laura watched John pace the prince's quarters. "I can't do this," he finally said.

"Why not?"

"He thinks I'm Brendan!"

Laura raised her eyebrows. "Isn't that the point?"

John turned to her, his eyes dark green and glittering with anger. "Would you want to be kissing someone who thinks you're someone else? He thinks we're going to be compatible in bed, for God's sake," John exclaimed. "He and Brendan might not be!"

Laura blanched at that. "Good point."

John slumped on the bed. "What if he wants to anticipate the wedding night? I can't do that to him, Laura. I can't lead him on like that. Not saying I wouldn't enjoy it, he's sexy as hell and that accent of his could drive me insane, but it wouldn't be right."

"I can warn McKay for you," she offered. "Maybe make sure he doesn't arrange any more intimate meetings like that."

John looked up at her. "Yeah, do that," he said. "Otherwise, I'm afraid my hormones will ruin his grand plans."

Rodney listened to Lieutenant Cadman's report of the private meeting between Prince Carson and 'Prince Brendan'. This was a complication he hadn't foreseen. At least Sheppard was thinking straight, to want to keep some distance between them.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." He dismissed the woman and contemplated the papers on his desk.

"I told you this was bad idea," Radek said from where he was sitting in the corner. Rodney looked up at his friend.

"What? Minor complication - we keep them apart for a few more days. Maybe say Brendan's got some illness and he can't be up and about."

"Prince Carson is a doctor, or had you forgotten? He may want to treat his betrothed. Especially now that he is eager for the wedding. Which still has to take place in a week."

"Yes, yes, I know." Rodney sighed. "Bates still hasn't found Brendan."

"And you wonder why I have a bad feeling about this?" Radek asked.

Rodney looked up at Radek. They'd been friends their whole lives, it seemed. Radek hadn't cared that Rodney was the son of the Atlantean princess who had run off with her music teacher at the age of eighteen and been killed in a car crash with her husband when her son was eight and her daughter was five. Radek had befriended Rodney in school to admittedly be able to borrow the physics book Rodney had been reading, but their mutual love of science had led to a friendship that both could count on.

Once again, Rodney wondered what would have happened if life had been different. If he were a true prince, he could maybe dare to see if Radek, too, wanted to turn their friendship into something more. The only reason Rodney had even considered the idea of invoking Article Eight was to ask Radek to be his consort.

Radek got up and crossed the room to perch on the edge of Rodney's desk. "Rodney, I'm telling you this as a friend. Forget your past and do what is best for the country. The people will follow you. You are a good leader."

Rodney shook his head. "I can't, Radek. Not without anything formal from Brendan. If he came back and fought me for the throne, it could tear the country apart."

Radek sighed, and Rodney reached out to put his hand over Radek's. "Just a few days, my friend. If we can't find Brendan by then, I'll do it."

Radek used his other hand to cover Rodney's. "I will be at your side, my friend."

Rodney smiled. No matter what, Radek would always be there for him.

John managed to avoid Carson the next morning by being closeted in meetings with McKay and the Atlantean military leaders. McKay had given John the briefing documents, informing him before they went into the meeting that if the U.S. military got any of the sensitive information, McKay would personally order John's assassination. John had nodded his understanding of the threat.

He'd had to watch himself, though. Prince Brendan had never been in the military, and, from what McKay had said, rarely spoke in these meetings. John, however, was military and understood everything that was said. It was easier in the meetings with Admiral Harriman and General Frasier. The Navy Admiral didn't have much to say, and the Navy wasn't John's branch, anyway. The petite redheaded Marine general had been a little intimidating, but she knew her stuff, and had answered McKay's numerous questions easily.

The meeting with General Siler, on the other hand, had been difficult. The Atlantean Air Force was restructuring, and John had gone through the documents the night before, jotting down notes on ways to improve personnel and aircraft deployments and questions about the new aircraft the General was proposing to have built. He'd given the questions to McKay, who had asked most of them, but not the follow up questions that John would have asked. Still, he'd kept his mouth shut, although he planned to give McKay a detailed report on why the aircraft the Atlantean Air Force wanted wasn't a good investment. So long as he didn't use anything classified from the U.S. Air Force, he should be okay. Besides, Atlantis was an ally of the U.S.

Still, he was glad to be out of those meetings. The relief lasted until Carson cornered him and persuaded John to take a look at his latest research. He wanted 'Brendan' to understand why Carson's work was so important.

John spent three hours with Carson and his research, asking fewer questions than he might have, although a lot of it did go over his head. Still, he thought Carson was right about the importance. He made a note to himself to make sure McKay kept his promise to Carson.

Those three hours had been the best part of John's day. Carson was in a regular suit, although he'd discarded the tie and jacket early in their meeting and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. He was also extremely animated when discussing his work, his eyes lighting up and hands gesturing. John just found himself happy to watch Carson and let the medical jargon go right over his head.

It was when Carson was called to a meeting with Teyla, and stopped to give John a kiss on the cheek and a lecherous grin before leaving, that John finally realized how screwed he was. No matter how illogical it was on barely 5 hours acquaintance, he was falling for Prince Carson of Scota.

Who didn't even know John Sheppard existed.

Elizabeth Weir flipped through the channels on the TV in the honeymoon suite she was sharing with her new husband, Prince Brendan of Atlantis. She supposed that now made her Princess Elizabeth, but really, so long as she had Brendan, she was happy.

And whoever thought that a lowly translator for the Hoffan ambassador to Atlantis would catch the eye of the Prince himself? But Brendan had noticed her, courted her, and now they were in Hoff's capital city, having married a few days before in a private ceremony. Brendan had confessed beforehand that his cousin wanted him to marry the youngest Prince of Scota, but Brendan had always believed in following his heart.

A caption on the screen proclaiming "Royal Engagement" caught Elizabeth's eye, and she turned up the volume to hear over Brendan's off key singing in the shower. The remote fell from her hand as she listened and she ran to the bathroom to tell her husband what mess his cousin had created now.

Radek gave Rodney a look that made him feel three inches tall. "What do you think Brendan will say when he sees the news reports of his 'engagement'? If he left because of the engagement, he will not return now!"

"Or he'll return because he'll be pissed that someone else is being Prince Brendan and getting all the perks. The Media Office says all the reports about the engagement are positive - the world seems to think they are perfect for each other, when not complaining that," Rodney's voice rose and octave and he fluttered his eyes, "'oh, if only I had been able to meet Prince Brendan/Prince Carson before this engagement'."

"Yes, and if he comes back and does not want the engagement? You may have arranged it, but he was not the one who sealed the betrothal contract. That would be enough reason for anyone to break it, much less two royal princes. I am telling you, there are easier ways to save our country."

Rodney looked up. "Yes, declare myself ruling prince, take a consort, and hope the Genii movement feels the way you do."

"It is a saner idea than putting an imposter in Brendan's place!"

"Oh, yes, fine. Well, considering that it's highly unlikely Prince Carson and his brother will want to go through with the contract once I take over, whom should I ask to be my consort. You?" Rodney waved off Radek's reply. "No, you're an Earl, you could marry Prince Carson yourself. Better a real prince than the untitled son of a disinherited princess."

"Better someone I enjoy spending time with than a loveless marriage to a person I do not know," came Radek's quiet reply before he left the library.

Rodney stared after him, his mouth open. Radek couldn't have meant . . .

"You should just kiss him and get it over with."

Rodney jumped at the voice that came out of the corner near the fireplace. He turned, and John Sheppard walked into the light from the fire, a book in his hand. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, and looked amused.

"What were you doing, spying on us?"

John raised an eyebrow. "I was here getting a book to read," he said, holding up a copy of War and Peace. "You two walked in and started arguing. Considering Prince Carson and his entourage are staying in the castle, you might want to consider arguing in a less public place, you know."

Rodney waved his hand, dismissing that. "What did you mean about kissing him?"

John shrugged, suddenly looking shy. "Look, I admit I don't know you that well, and I don't know the Earl at all. But he was ready to accept your offer to be his consort before you got started with the pity party. You want him, or you wouldn't have even suggested it. So kiss him already. Or should I get Cadman to help me lock the two of you in a closet?"

"Oh yes, you know so much about my love life, Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard," Rodney said sarcastically. "You're the one who is dating a man who thinks you're my cousin, and that makes you eminently qualified to fix my romantic problems."

John's face hardened, and he stalked across the room to invade Rodney's personal space. "Listen," he said, poking Rodney in the chest with his finger. "You're the one who got me into this mess, and considering I've got Prince Carson convinced I'm Brendan, you can damn well listen to me about your other problems. You're the reason I'm falling for a man I'll never be able to have because he's promised to your cousin. By all rights, I should be trying to screw you over by throwing myself at the earl instead of trying to hook you up with him. But damn it, someone should come out of this fiasco happy, and it sure as hell isn't going to be me." John turned on his heel and left, leaving Rodney alone in the library with his thoughts.

On the walkway two stories above the floor where the three men had argued, Prince Carson stood, his book forgotten in his hand. He carefully replaced it on the shelf and left through the door to the hall near his room.

John was standing at the bay window in the living room of the Prince's suite when someone knocked on the door. He quickly tucked his dog tags back under his shirt before crossing to the door. He knew that Lt. Markham at the end of the hall would have searched whoever was at his door before letting them get this close, and that Lt. Stackhouse was the one who knocked. They were his two night guards, replacing Lts. Ford and Miller from the daytime shift. Cadman couldn't watch him all the time, after all.

Still, John wasn't completely trusting. Before he unlocked the door, he called out. "Lieutenant?"

"Prince Carson to see you, Your Highness," Stackhouse called through the door.

John sighed, then straightened and opened the door. "Carson," he said lightly.

"May I come in?"

John's eyes cut to Stackhouse, who nodded. John stepped back and gestured for Carson to enter. He noticed Major Lorne, Carson's personal bodyguard, standing across the hall from Stackhouse. He made no move to enter.

John shut the door. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Please," Carson said. John went to the wetbar in the corner and poured both of them a glass of wine. He brought them back over to Carson, who took one.

"Thank you, Brendan." He sipped at his glass. "Or should I call you Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard?"

John's glass slipped from his hands to shatter on the floor. The door opened the next instant and Stackhouse and Lorne came in, weapons drawn.

"It's nothing," John said, waving them off. "I dropped a glass."

Lorne looked at Carson, who nodded. "Just a slip," he said. Stackhouse had already reached for his radio to summon a maid. She arrived quickly, cleaned up the mess, and the two men were left alone again.

"So, who are you and how did Prime Minister McKay drag you into covering for the irresponsible cousin of his?"

John sighed and went back to the wet bar, this time pouring himself a double shot of whisky. He knocked it back before turning to face Carson.

"I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of the United States Air Force. I was in Atlantis on a vacation, since my family had roots in the country before emigrating to the U.S. Apparently, McKay saw me on the street and sent one of the guards after me to lure me here, thinking I was Prince Brendan. When he found out I wasn't, he all but begged me to take his place for a few days."

"Impersonating royalty has been a capital crime in the past," Carson noted.

"I know, and I really can't say why I agreed to it. If it gets out, my career is ruined." He sighed. "I guess I just wanted to not be myself for a while. I was ordered on leave, that's why I was on vacation. I can't tell you what happened, but I didn't like myself because of it."

Carson snorted. "So, become Prince Brendan, smile, wave, kiss the Prince's intended --"

"You kissed me. Him. Whoever you were kissing, you started it."

Carson raised an eyebrow. He looked at John as if he were someone unimportant, a lowly peasant daring to address his liege lord without permission. "And what, you were just going to step aside when McKay's goons dragged their prince back?"

John nodded again. "Pretty much. No tell-all novel, no talk show circuit, just back to flying and following orders."

"And watching me marry Brendan." It was a statement, but Carson didn't look as if he liked it.

John shrugged. "It's what your two countries agreed on. Marriage for military alliance."

"So it's nothing personal between us? You were just playing a role."

John looked away from the still-impassive face on the man across from him. The man he could love, if he let himself. But Carson was promised to another. "Yeah, pretty much."

The silence stretched for a long moment. John fiddled with his glass, not looking up at Carson. He figured it was up to the prince to make the next move. If he wanted to expose John as a fraud, he would. John wouldn't stop him.

"It didn't feel very impersonal when I kissed you," Carson said.

John briefly considered making a comment about pilots and sexual conquests, how any man would have gotten that reaction, but decided not to. He liked Carson too much to treat that kiss casually.

"Not to mention the way you let me go on for hours about my work, and don't think I didn't notice the way you watched me then."

John shrugged. He heard Carson approaching, but didn't look up, even when the prince's shoes came into view. "And you told McKay you were falling for me," Carson said softly.

John looked up at that, his eyes wide. Carson smiled, a hand coming up to curl around John's neck. "Just like I've been falling for you," he murmured. "No matter who you are," he added before pulling John into a kiss.

When John tried to pull away, afraid of what would happen if he let himself give in, Carson slipped his other arm around John's waist. "John," he said softly against John's lips. "I never wanted to marry Brendan. But I can't regret this trip, since it brought me you."

He kissed John again, and John gave in to it, his hands stroking up Carson's back. When they broke off for air, John gave Carson a smirk.

"We might want to move this into the bedroom. I'd hate for Stackhouse and Lorne to think we were shouting in danger instead of pleasure."

"That might be a bit awkward," Carson agreed. "Not to mention a real mood killer."

John chuckled as he led Carson to the bedroom, determined to think only of this man and this moment, not of what the next day would bring.

Brendan tapped his foot and stared at his cousin. "Whatever scheme you are running, Rodney, it ends now."

Rodney had looked overjoyed to see him when Brendan had arrived at the castle in the company of several royal guards. He'd called Rodney from Hoff, and the royal jet had been at the Hoffan airport within hours. A limo had been waiting at the private gate for the jet, whisking Brendan and Elizabeth to the castle and the private entrance, out of the way of the press and others.

Now Rodney looked pissed off, which wasn't unusual. "Wait a minute, you're the one who walked out on your responsibilities, leaving the country open to chaos, and you're bitching about how I kept us afloat?"

"I did not walk out on my responsibilities, Rodney. I just happened to have my own choice of bride, thank you very much." Brendan walked over to where Elizabeth was sitting and kissed her hand. "Meet Princess Elizabeth."

Rodney's jaw dropped and he stared at the two of them before dropping into a chair. "We're dead. Radek's right, the Scotan navy is going to finish us off before having tea and crumpets."

"Do I want to know what he is talking about?" Elizabeth asked.

Brendan shrugged. "Whatever it is, he has to fix it," he said, before getting caught by his wife's glare.

"We did cause it as well, Brendan," she said. "So perhaps we could all sit down and figure out a way to fix it?"

Brendan gave her a rueful smile, acknowledging his own part in creating this current mess. After all, if he had just told Rodney that he was leaving to marry Elizabeth, then his cousin wouldn't have gotten someone to take Brendan's place.

"Rodney," Brendan called out. "Have the Earl of Athos and whomever is pretending to be me brought down here so we can decide what is to be done, without telling the country the entire truth."

Rodney moved on autopilot to the phone, and Brendan leaned down to kiss his wife. "I hope you have an idea," he murmured. "I'll be honest, I don't."

"We'll think of something once we've got everyone here," she murmured back. "Then you can show me that hidden room you were telling me about," she added with a grin.

"I can't wait," Brendan replied with an answering smile.

The ringing of the bedside phone rudely intruded on John's post-coital daze. Beside him, Carson murmured something before moving closer to John, his mouth against John's shoulder. John smiled down at him, and he knew that it was probably a dorky smile, but since Carson's eyes were closed, it didn't matter.

Reaching for the phone, John reflected that Carson had been right - they were compatible in bed. Very compatible. Mind-blowingly compatible, he thought, his hand stilling on the phone as flashbacks of the past few hours ran through his mind - and body.

Groaning, he picked up the phone. "Yes," he said shortly into the receiver.

"You're needed in my office now," came McKay's voice. "My cousin has returned."

John froze. Why now? he silently asked the universe, before responding aloud. "I'm on my way."

He hung up the phone and turned to kiss Carson. "I have to go. McKay's got a crisis."

"A prince's work is never done?" Carson asked archly, opening his eyes.

"Something like that," John said ruefully as he slid out of bed and began dressing in his slacks and blazer from that fateful dinner with Cadman. If Brendan was in McKay's office, he wasn't going to be wearing the man's clothing to meet with him.

"Should I stay?" Carson asked, his eyes showing his appreciation for John's body.

John came back over to kiss him. "I don't know how long this will take."

Carson nodded. "Might be best to be back at my own quarters before dawn, right." He got up to start dressing. "Tell Lorne I will be out in a minute?"

John nodded, wishing he was helping Carson out of his clothes. "I wish I could stay," he said.

Carson chuckled. "I know. But McKay is waiting. Go on, I'm not offended."

John left, passing on Carson's message to Major Lorne. As he and Markham walked toward McKay's office, John wondered if Carson would be so understanding when John was called out of bed by his C.O.s. Then he realized he was thinking as if he and Carson had a future. Princes didn't marry American pilots, he reminded himself. No matter what those princes said about falling in love.

Radek slammed open the door to Rodney's office, registering the presence of the two other people in the room, but focused on Rodney, who had the phone to his ear. He quickly hung it up. "Radek, I was just calling you," he said.

"So you have seen the news reports too?" Radek asked.

"News reports?" Rodney asked, perplexed. "No, this is about Brendan."

"Pfft," Radek said. "This is worse than Brendan disappearing." He grabbed the remote to Rodney's office TV and turned on, calling up the Lantian News Network. Peter Grodin, the nightly news anchor, was at the desk, looking a bit shaken.

"Again, this next segment was broadcast earlier tonight by the Genii Movement, which, as I'm sure you know, has long advocated the overthrow of the current ruler of the House of Clieto in favor of the true rulers, the descendants of Prince Edward the Lost, who disappeared not long after his coronation in the 1878. Tonight, they claim to have found Prince Edward's great-great-grandson."

The screen went blank, and Radek was aware of the other two in the room drawing closer, but he kept his eyes on the screen as it changed to show Acastus Kolya, leader of the Genii Movement. Like all members of his paramilitary group, he wore the uniform of the Royal Guards from Prince Edward's time, and he was seated in front of the Atlantean Flag.

"My fellow Atlanteans," he said now. "As you know, the Genii believe that the Atlantean people are being held hostage by the House of Clieto, swearing fealty to a ruler with no right to the throne. Tonight, we offer hope to Atlantis. My friends, we have discovered what became of Prince Edward the Lost." He paused for effect, his eyes alight with his beliefs although his face remained impassive, to show that he and his believers were not insane. "We have traced Prince Edward to America, where he married the daughter of his former Prime Minister. They had a daughter, and through her an unbroken line of decent to the true Heir to the Crystal Sceptre. My friends! The time has come to throw off your allegiance to our false prince and call for the coronation of our true ruler!" Kolya's voice had risen with patriotic fever and the camera pulled back to reveal a picture in his hands of a man in a blue dress uniform in front of an American flag. "I call for the people to see the true Prince of Atlantis, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of the United States Air Force, descendant of Edward and his undoubted heir!"

The camera zoomed in on John's face in the picture, and Radek wondered how many Atlanteans were thinking Kolya was crazy for putting Brendan's face on a U.S. Air Force Officer's picture. That was the least of their problems, because having anyone believe that John Sheppard was the true Prince of Atlantis was going to be a nightmare for Prince Brendan and the Peerage.

The screen changed back to Peter Grodin. "As you can see, the man the Genii are claiming to be the true Prince of Atlantis closely resembles our current Prince Brendan. Calls to the U.S. Air Force seeking confirmation of the identity of the man in the picture as Liuetenant Colonel John Sheppard, and requests to interview him, have not been returned at the moment, although we do believe they plan to issue a statement at some point. No response has come from --"

Radek turned off the TV and turned to Rodney, before jumping back and bowing. "Your Highness," he said, surprised to see Brendan, or was it John?, there.

"Radek," the prince said, and he knew it was Brendan. John had never met him, wouldn't know to call him by his first name, not his title. "Were you in on my cousin's deception?"

Radek glanced at Rodney, who was still staring at the TV. "I knew about it after the fact, yes," he admitted.

Brendan made a noise that sounded as if he was disappointed in Radek. "Well, we seem to have a bigger problem," he said, putting his arm around the dark haired woman standing next to him and pulling her closer.

"Yeah," came a voice from the doorway, and they turned to see John Sheppard standing against the closed door. "I'm never going to make Colonel now."

"I hardly think your future career promotions are as important as the stability of the government of Atlantis," the man John presumed was Prince Brendan said haughtily.

John shrugged. "Sure it is. After all, once I sign over the throne to you, I'm going back to the Air Force."

A loud thud made them all turn to see McKay, who had tried to sit down and missed his chair, hitting the floor instead. He looked rather dazed. The Earl hurried over to him, kneeling down next to him. "Rodney, are you all right?"

The dark haired woman also moved over to kneel next to Rodney. "Minister McKay?" she asked gently.

John and Brendan kept looking at each other. "Look," John said. "I don't want your throne. I never did. Yes, I agreed to this charade, for my own reasons, but I was and still am perfectly happy to hand all this crap back over to you and go back to flying. I have no kids, no siblings and no cousins, no living relatives at all, except for you and McKay, apparently, so there's no else in my family tree for the Genii to dig up and use against you."

Brendan kept staring at him. "What about the deception? You sealed that betrothal contract with Prince Carson, binding me to marry him, when I already have a wife."

John quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, I'll admit that's something that's going to have to be worked out. I didn't know you were married."

"No one did," the woman said from where she still knelt by McKay, who was still staring into space. John noticed that the Earl was leaning close to McKay, murmuring in his ear. The woman got up and came back to Brendan. "We were married the day before the contract was signed."

"Which makes the contract invalid, but how do we explain that to the people without explaining the fact that I'd eloped and Rodney hired someone to take my place?" Brendan asked.

"Tea and crumpets," Rodney said abruptly. The Earl made a soothing noise. Brendan raised an eyebrow at the two, then looked at John, who shrugged.

"I still say those two should be locked in a closet until they admit they're in love."

The woman giggled, and Brendan smiled at her. John could see the man was besotted.

"I'll take that under advisement, Colonel," Brendan said, winking at him.

"Scotan Navy, tea and crumpets," Rodney said again.

John stilled. "Fuck. Prince Carson."

"What about him?" Brendan asked.

"He heard McKay and the Earl arguing about this deception last night, and then McKay and I arguing about it."

The Earl looked up at that. "He knows?"

John nodded. "He confronted me in, well, I guess it's your suite," he said to Brendan. "He knows who I am, that you disappeared, and that he's actually been dealing with me since he got here."

The Earl sighed. "The Scotans will not take kindly to any of this. The arrangement was to marry Prince Carson to the Prince of Atlantis, but since Prince Brendan is married and many people will believe the Colonel is Prince John . . ." he trailed off.

"That's it," McKay said suddenly. "That's it!"

"Rodney?" Brendan drawled. McKay, with the Earl's help, got to his feet, his eyes sparkling with an idea. He even started bouncing on his toes, which John couldn't help but watch with a strange fascination.

"The contract actually binds the youngest brother of King Halling of Scota with the Ruling Prince of Atlantis. Teyla and I never put names in there, thinking it was obvious to everyone with a brain who those people were. But if John here is the ruling prince, then he's bound to marry Prince Carson, not Brendan. Leaving you, Brendan, to marry Elizabeth again in a quiet ceremony before your birthday and then have her invested as the Princess-Consort with all pomp and ceremony after John abdicates the throne after his marriage to Carson. You are under 35, aren't you?" he asked John suddenly.

"For another two weeks," he said, startled.

"It's perfect. As long as we can hide any evidence of Brendan and Elizabeth getting married before the contract was signed, we've got a way out of it. The Genii will get their so-called true ruler, who will then put Brendan back on the throne." Rodney beamed at them.

"I think you are forgetting something, Rodney," the Earl said softly. "John and Prince Carson's feelings on all this? Not to mention King Halling."

Rodney's face fell. "Oh yeah. Well, we don't have to tell Halling that John's going to abdicate after the wedding."

"I'm willing to help get Atlantis out of this mess, since I did help in getting you here, just so long as everyone knows I'm not taking the job permanently," John said when they looked at him.

"Which just leaves Prince Carson," Brendan said. "Who's guarding the door?" he asked John.

"Markham."

"Have him get someone to ask the Prince to join us, would you? I don't want to frighten anyone who may not have heard the news yet," he added with a grin.

John smiled back. "Aye, sir," he said.

Carson sat silently in the room while John spoke on speakerphone with his commanding officer, General O'Neill. Technically, when John took the oath as Prince of Atlantis, he would lose his American citizenship, and his rank in the Air Force. Carson knew how much flying and the Air Force meant to John, they'd discussed it during the past few days while getting to know each other better before the wedding.

Once the plan had been explained to Carson, he'd willingly agreed to it. After all, it meant he got John, Brendan got his Elizabeth, and with Cadman's help, he and John were going to make sure that McKay and the Earl of Athos got each other. Carson knew he might have to give up his royal title to live with John as his husband, but that meant nothing. He still had his medical degree, and he would have John.

"Look, Colonel," O'Neill was saying now. "I've done everything I can do. The problem is the higher ups. Once they realized that you were possibly royalty, they put you on indefinite leave. Which they'll convert to terminal leave the minute you're put on that throne. They see it as a matter of security - they can't afford to have a ruling prince of another country knowing their secrets. It's diplomacy as well. Even if you give up the throne, if you get killed while flying a Pave Hawk, it's going to be an international incident." He sighed. "John, quite frankly, I'm not sure they're not going to put you on terminal leave and honorably discharge you even if you don't take the throne over there. The brass has got the State Department and the White House breathing down their necks, and they don't like the smell."

Carson watched as John dropped his head into his hands. "Fine," he said after a few moments. "Send the terminal leave and discharge paperwork to the American Embassy in Atlantis. I'll sign it."

Carson opened his mouth, but John looked up at him and shook his head. "General?" he asked.

"Are you sure, John?"

"Yes, sir. I'm hereby notifying you of my intent to separate from the United States Air Force, and my request to be put on terminal leave at this time," John said formally.

"Very well, Colonel. The paper work should be at the embassy in a few days."

The general abruptly hung up, and John did as well.

"Why?" Carson demanded.

John sighed. "Because it was going to happen anyway. The brass hates the idea of potential scandals or anything that could tarnish the service's reputation. Besides," he added, "remember when I told you I was on leave because something happened and I didn't like myself?"

Carson nodded, getting up to cross the room to John's side. John looked up at him. "I followed orders, instead of my gut, and some good men almost died because of it. As it is, Mitch will never walk again. So I'm not all that sure that I haven't been considering this for a while."

Carson reached for John's hands and pulled him up out of the chair and up against Carson. John's hands broke free of Carson's grip to slide around Carson's waist as Carson leaned up to kiss John. After a long moment, he pulled back. "Whatever you decide, I'll support you," he said.

John smiled at him. "What did I do to deserve you?" he asked quietly.

Carson chuckled. "Pretended to be a prince, of course."

"Oh, of course," John said with an answering chuckled before leaning down to kiss Carson passionately.

Rodney huffed in righteous indignation. "I'll have that little traitor's head, see if I don't."

Radek chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning back against the shelf in the linen closest. "I think Lieutenant Cadman is following orders from her prince. Whichever one that is."

"I can't believe Brendan would stoop so low as to lock me in a linen closet for punishment!"

"Lock us in a closet, you mean. After all, I am here, too, and I did not put someone else on the throne."

"No, you just advocated putting me on the throne," Rodney said, but he was looking off into the distance, thinking.

Radek just watched, presuming Rodney was formulating a way to get them out of their predicament. Although he was enjoying the chance to stare openly at Rodney. After all, there wasn't much else in the closet to look at.

So kiss him already. Or should I get Cadman to help me lock the two of you in a closet?

Sheppard's words came back to Rodney as he stared at the locked door. That arrogant son-of-a-bitch. He'd actually done it. There was no other reason why Rodney and Radek would be locked in this closet together.

Maybe he should take Sheppard's advice. God knew Rodney had wanted to kiss Radek for years, and Radek had remained unwed all this time, despite the ladies who had indicated a desire to be his countess and the men who wouldn't mind being his consort.

Rodney turned to Radek, who raised an eyebrow at him. "What? Do you have an idea for how to get us out of here?"

Rodney shrugged. "An idea, yes. How to get us out of here, well, we'll see," he said as he moved into Radek's personal space.

Radek licked his lips. Rodney stared at the slip of tongue that had been revealed. "Rodney?" Radek asked.

"Radek," Rodney answered, before covering Radek's mouth with his own.

Radek tasted like coffee and the maple candy he favored, a bitter and sweet taste that was somehow perfect. Radek's hands grabbed onto Rodney's shirt as Radek's tongue thrust into Rodney's mouth, moaning his enjoyment of the kiss.

When they parted, Rodney looked down at his best friend and soon-to-be-lover. "We should have done this years ago,"

"Someone did not think he was worthy of me," Radek said with a sniff.

"I'm not," Rodney said. "I just decided that I don't care about whether I am or not."

Radek leaned forward to lick at Rodney's neck, enjoying the shiver it provoked in Rodney. "I have always thought you were, you know."

Rodney nipped at Radek's jaw. "Okay, I'm slow." He kissed Radek again, putting his words into actions. When he was finished, Radek smiled up at him dazedly.

"Slow is good," Radek said. "Show me just how slow you can be."

John put his foot down at a large, formal investiture as Prince of Atlantis. He did the minimum necessary to secure the throne, and that was all. Considering he planned on abdicating, he thought it would be a waste of money.

Not to mention, there were three royal weddings in the week after John's coronation.

Elizabeth, at John's request, had gone through the royal histories and found an old title given to second sons of the House of Clieto. With Brendan's knowledge and agreement, John's first act as Prince had been to formally create Rodney as the Duke of Hammond. His second act had been to give his consent to Rodney's wedding to Radek Zelenka, the Earl of Athos.

Cadman had grinned during the entire wedding, as she was Radek's best man, so to speak. Brendan was Rodney's, and John had stood with Carson at his side, smiling the entire time as well.

Elizabeth and Brendan's ceremony was a few days later, before Brendan's birthday. Fortunately, the Hoffan marriage commissioner was a close friend of Elizabeth's family, and had gladly handed over the marriage certificate he had yet to file with the government. Once that had been destroyed, there was no proof of their earlier wedding, keeping the deception a secret.

Two days after that wedding, John stood in front of the Atlantean marriage commissioner, holding Carson's hands, as they were married. Carson was wearing his kilt again, and John was having a difficult time concentrating on the proceedings as a result. Still, he thought as they made the rounds of their reception, he must have managed to say everything properly, as they were now married.

Kolya had managed to scam an invitation, and mingled with the crowd, looking smug. He'd fawned over John in the receiving line, and basically behaved as if John owed Kolya something for putting him on the throne. John really wished he could see Kolya's face in a few days when John gave up the throne.

Brendan and Elizabeth were on the dance floor now, and Rodney and Radek were sitting next to each other at one of the tables, deep into a discussion. General O'Neill had come to the wedding as well, and was over talking to Generals Frasier and Siler.

John walked over to where Carson was talking to his brothers, and pulled him away with a smile his new in-laws returned. Leading Carson onto the dance floor, he murmured, "I really don't want to share you with anyone right now. Even your own brothers."

Carson smiled back at him. "I feel the same way."

They slipped away from the reception early, unaware of the four pairs of knowing eyes watching them indulgently.

Epilogue

"We're going to be late."

Carson looked up from his research notes and his eyes practically glazed over. John grinned at him. "It's not like you haven't seen it before."

Carson nodded as he gathered up his notes. "You've seen my kilt before, too," he retorted.

John chuckled, still leaning against the doorjam. "Who knew you'd have a uniform fetish," he said.

Carson smiled back. "Only uniforms worn by a certain General John Sheppard," he replied, coming up to kiss John. John hummed in appreciation of the kiss before breaking it off.

"As much as I'd prefer to continue this, we do have a ceremony to attend, Prince Carson."

Carson nodded. "Later?" he asked knowingly.

"Of course," John replied. "As my Prince commands."

Carson rolled his eyes. "Like you follow anyone's orders," he said with a grin as they headed for the ceremony hall.

"The joys of becoming the top General of the Atlantean Air Force after General Siler retired," John said. "The only person above me is the Prince, and he doesn't order me around. Much."

They'd reached the ceremony hall and slipped into their places. Rodney and Radek were there, both looking as excited as John knew he felt. Captain Laura Cadman was there as well, with her husband, Major Michael Lorne. She winked at John, who winked back as they both shared the same appreciation for formal ceremonies that required their spouses to wear kilts.

The doors at the end of the hall opened, and the crowd straightened, bowing in a wave as the two figures processed up the center aisle. John, Carson, Rodney, and Radek were the last to bow to the Prince and Princess-Consort of Atlantis. Both Brendan and Elizabeth smiled warmly at them before facing the assembled crowd and cameras.

"My fellow Atlanteans," Brendan said into the silence. "It is my honor to present Prince Jonathan of the House of Clieto, my undoubted heir and the next Prince of Atlantis."

Elizabeth turned the infant in her arms to face the crowd. He looked out at all of them with a slightly bored expression, and John smothered a chuckle before applauding. The rest of the crowd joined in, celebrating the birth of the heir to the throne.

As they left the hall for the reception following Prince Jonathan's presentation, John pulled Carson into a side corridor and then into one of the closets lining the corridor. He cut off Carson's protest with a long, hot kiss. Carson melted into him, and John sighed into the kiss.

Carson pulled back, frowning. "What's wrong, love?"

John stroked a thumb over Carson's cheek. "Just appreciating the rewards of a little role playing," he said.

Carson chuckled. "Indeed," he replied before kissing John.

John reached out to lock the door to the closet, not caring if he and Carson were going to be late to the reception. Carson was wearing his kilt, and John was only human.

~~Fin~~