kitt
in
sga_flashfic
The Planet of the Flashfic Writers, by MistoKitt (Harlequin Challenge)
Title: The Planet of the Flashfic Writers
Author: MistoKitt
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Er, sorta McShep I suppose
Summary: "Well, it can't be that bad, right? What part am I playing Teyla? The swashbuckling hero type? The mutinous crew member?"
Notes: I should be in bed. God, why am I not in bed?! Unbeta'd, because seriously, what's the point ;)
"I am NOT wearing that!"
"C'mon Rodney, just take one for the team, okay?" John said with a long suffering sigh. "Put on the stupid outfit and strut your stuff, then we can make nice with the BeeGee-sians..."
"Bejasersians." Teyla corrected.
"S'what I said" John said, then continued "Then we get the food and go home."
"Take one for the team?" Rodney sounded indignant. "STRUT MY STUFF?!" Make that outraged. "I don't see why I should have to dress up like... like..."
"A whore?" Ronon supplied, somewhat less then helpfully.
"I never thought the day would come that I would say this but," Rodney took a deep breath, "No food is worth this."
John sighed, "Look, I wasn't gonna tell you this because I didn't want to get your hopes up, but they have..." he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper "coffee."
"SO DOES THE DAEDALUS!" Rodney screamed.
"Rodney, wear the outfit, perform for them, and I swear to you I will do whatever you ask for a month straight." It was a last resort, but John was desperate. Elizabeth wanted this trade agreement, and John just wanted to get off this rock with it's frightening costumes and insane acting troupe, or whatever they were. And seriously, who had ever heard of performing in cheesy, badly written plays as a fair trade? Then again, they would be getting the better end of the deal if they got the food for this, so John wasn't going to complain. Now if only Rodney would get with the program.
"A month?" Rodney had downshifted from outraged to intrigued at an alarming rate.
John winced "A month."
"Deal!" Rodney grabbed the vile outfit and started stripping right then and there.
"There is one other part of the agreement that I was unable to mention before Doctor McKay interrupted." Teyla said almost hesitantly.
Rodney came to an abrupt halt, poofy white shirt half over his head, and stared menacingly at Teyla.
Teyla turned from Rodney and looked to John, "The Colonel must play a part in their production as well."
John winced again and looked at the leather pants Rodney had yet to struggle into. "Well, it can't be that bad, right? What part am I playing Teyla? The swashbuckling hero type? The mutinous crew member?"
A grin lit up Teyla's face that John thought looked almost feral. "You are to be the virgin son of the Duke, taken prisoner by Doctor McKay's gang of brigands."
"Pardon me?" John gaped.
"I have seen this play before on a previous trip to this planet." Teyla said, with a smile that was definitely feral now. "I believe it ends with you being seduced by the leader of the brigands," She pointed toward Rodney, "and swooning in his arms after a passionate kiss."
"That's it, we're going home NOW." John just barely kept himself from bellowing at his team.
"What happened to taking one for the team?" Ronon asked with a smirk.
"Yes, I do believe you simply need to go 'strut your stuff'." Teyla said happily.
John glared at the both of them. "Rodney, get off the floor and for God's sake stop cackling like that. We're leaving."
"Oh no we're not." Rodney said between gasps of laughter. "You promised me a month of servitude your Royal Colonel-ness. You've got me half in this ridiculous outfit already, I'm not letting you take it back now." Rodney finally got back to his feet and grabbed the leather pants. "Teyla, why don't you hand the Colonel his wardrobe and then you can fill us in on the rest of the plot. I think I'm going to enjoy this." Rodney ducked behind a screen with the pants to finish changing.
John realized that there really was no way to back out now, he just hoped his outfit didn't look as stupid as McKay's did. Unfortunately, his hopes were dashed when Teyla returned to the tent with yards of fabric in hideously bright colors.
"Fine!" John said somewhat grouchily, snatching the cloth from Teyla, "but I'm so not 'swooning' over McKay."
"You haven't seen him in these leather pants yet." Ronon said from next to the screen.
~End~
Author: MistoKitt
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Er, sorta McShep I suppose
Summary: "Well, it can't be that bad, right? What part am I playing Teyla? The swashbuckling hero type? The mutinous crew member?"
Notes: I should be in bed. God, why am I not in bed?! Unbeta'd, because seriously, what's the point ;)
"I am NOT wearing that!"
"C'mon Rodney, just take one for the team, okay?" John said with a long suffering sigh. "Put on the stupid outfit and strut your stuff, then we can make nice with the BeeGee-sians..."
"Bejasersians." Teyla corrected.
"S'what I said" John said, then continued "Then we get the food and go home."
"Take one for the team?" Rodney sounded indignant. "STRUT MY STUFF?!" Make that outraged. "I don't see why I should have to dress up like... like..."
"A whore?" Ronon supplied, somewhat less then helpfully.
"I never thought the day would come that I would say this but," Rodney took a deep breath, "No food is worth this."
John sighed, "Look, I wasn't gonna tell you this because I didn't want to get your hopes up, but they have..." he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper "coffee."
"SO DOES THE DAEDALUS!" Rodney screamed.
"Rodney, wear the outfit, perform for them, and I swear to you I will do whatever you ask for a month straight." It was a last resort, but John was desperate. Elizabeth wanted this trade agreement, and John just wanted to get off this rock with it's frightening costumes and insane acting troupe, or whatever they were. And seriously, who had ever heard of performing in cheesy, badly written plays as a fair trade? Then again, they would be getting the better end of the deal if they got the food for this, so John wasn't going to complain. Now if only Rodney would get with the program.
"A month?" Rodney had downshifted from outraged to intrigued at an alarming rate.
John winced "A month."
"Deal!" Rodney grabbed the vile outfit and started stripping right then and there.
"There is one other part of the agreement that I was unable to mention before Doctor McKay interrupted." Teyla said almost hesitantly.
Rodney came to an abrupt halt, poofy white shirt half over his head, and stared menacingly at Teyla.
Teyla turned from Rodney and looked to John, "The Colonel must play a part in their production as well."
John winced again and looked at the leather pants Rodney had yet to struggle into. "Well, it can't be that bad, right? What part am I playing Teyla? The swashbuckling hero type? The mutinous crew member?"
A grin lit up Teyla's face that John thought looked almost feral. "You are to be the virgin son of the Duke, taken prisoner by Doctor McKay's gang of brigands."
"Pardon me?" John gaped.
"I have seen this play before on a previous trip to this planet." Teyla said, with a smile that was definitely feral now. "I believe it ends with you being seduced by the leader of the brigands," She pointed toward Rodney, "and swooning in his arms after a passionate kiss."
"That's it, we're going home NOW." John just barely kept himself from bellowing at his team.
"What happened to taking one for the team?" Ronon asked with a smirk.
"Yes, I do believe you simply need to go 'strut your stuff'." Teyla said happily.
John glared at the both of them. "Rodney, get off the floor and for God's sake stop cackling like that. We're leaving."
"Oh no we're not." Rodney said between gasps of laughter. "You promised me a month of servitude your Royal Colonel-ness. You've got me half in this ridiculous outfit already, I'm not letting you take it back now." Rodney finally got back to his feet and grabbed the leather pants. "Teyla, why don't you hand the Colonel his wardrobe and then you can fill us in on the rest of the plot. I think I'm going to enjoy this." Rodney ducked behind a screen with the pants to finish changing.
John realized that there really was no way to back out now, he just hoped his outfit didn't look as stupid as McKay's did. Unfortunately, his hopes were dashed when Teyla returned to the tent with yards of fabric in hideously bright colors.
"Fine!" John said somewhat grouchily, snatching the cloth from Teyla, "but I'm so not 'swooning' over McKay."
"You haven't seen him in these leather pants yet." Ronon said from next to the screen.
~End~