Merry Go Round Broke Down 16
anonymous
February 13 2011, 14:04:50 UTC
"I heard you shot McKay, but I thought it was a joke," says Kolsrud, brow crinkling with surprise.
"It happened. I'm still paying for it in chocolate pudding." John drops the momentary smarm. "It took some time to build the trust back up, but we'd all been affected by the same thing, we knew none of us were at fault. It's like that for you and Arizmendi too. He couldn't see you either. Until you were right there by him with the pressure bandage. That's what he remembers."
"I don't see how he could ever forgive me."
"You'll see," John says. "You're team."
"We'll have sessions to give you and the lieutenant a chance to work things out," Dr. Esguerra says. "He might need to vent some anger, but he's already practicing acceptance. He realized that he most likely would've done the same if the positions were reversed. If that had happened, do you think you could forgive him?"
"Maybe," Kolsrud allows. "I guess I'd like to think so."
"Then give him some credit," says Dr. Esguerra with gentle humor. "He'd like to think so too."
As the hour ends and Kolsrud leaves, Dr. Esguerra keeps John with an eloquent tilt of her head.
"He's a good guy," says John. "And a good soldier. I'm glad you're here. For a while we had to send people back to Earth for counseling. Not sure those therapists could understand what it's like out here when they've never been here."
"I'm glad to be here," she answers. "Thank you for coming to the session. I think it helps a lot." She looks past him, through the window, and John shifts his gaze outward too. Atlantis is basically 360 degrees of great views, but Dr. Esguerra's office has a particularly nice vantage, out over the smaller spires of the southern pier.
"You assume a lot of responsibility for what happens out there," she says.
"It's my command."
Dr. Esguerra nods. "You told Denny that you're accountable too, if he was overwhelmed or wasn't fast enough, because the commander makes the decisions. What would you say if Denny were to ask you: who's at fault when you make mistakes?"
"The Wraith," says John.
"In general?" she asks. "Or because of what happened to Colonel Sumner?"
"Both," John shrugs. "I'm pretty comfortable blaming the Wraith for just about everything, up to and including meatloaf surprise in the mess hall."
"In that case I'll be writing them a strongly worded letter," she says. "Do you think you could sit in on another session? I want to try some positive self-talk, and I've found Marines sometimes won't participate because it makes them self-conscious. I think having the CO here for support would help."
"It happened. I'm still paying for it in chocolate pudding." John drops the momentary smarm. "It took some time to build the trust back up, but we'd all been affected by the same thing, we knew none of us were at fault. It's like that for you and Arizmendi too. He couldn't see you either. Until you were right there by him with the pressure bandage. That's what he remembers."
"I don't see how he could ever forgive me."
"You'll see," John says. "You're team."
"We'll have sessions to give you and the lieutenant a chance to work things out," Dr. Esguerra says. "He might need to vent some anger, but he's already practicing acceptance. He realized that he most likely would've done the same if the positions were reversed. If that had happened, do you think you could forgive him?"
"Maybe," Kolsrud allows. "I guess I'd like to think so."
"Then give him some credit," says Dr. Esguerra with gentle humor. "He'd like to think so too."
As the hour ends and Kolsrud leaves, Dr. Esguerra keeps John with an eloquent tilt of her head.
"He's a good guy," says John. "And a good soldier. I'm glad you're here. For a while we had to send people back to Earth for counseling. Not sure those therapists could understand what it's like out here when they've never been here."
"I'm glad to be here," she answers. "Thank you for coming to the session. I think it helps a lot." She looks past him, through the window, and John shifts his gaze outward too. Atlantis is basically 360 degrees of great views, but Dr. Esguerra's office has a particularly nice vantage, out over the smaller spires of the southern pier.
"You assume a lot of responsibility for what happens out there," she says.
"It's my command."
Dr. Esguerra nods. "You told Denny that you're accountable too, if he was overwhelmed or wasn't fast enough, because the commander makes the decisions. What would you say if Denny were to ask you: who's at fault when you make mistakes?"
"The Wraith," says John.
"In general?" she asks. "Or because of what happened to Colonel Sumner?"
"Both," John shrugs. "I'm pretty comfortable blaming the Wraith for just about everything, up to and including meatloaf surprise in the mess hall."
"In that case I'll be writing them a strongly worded letter," she says. "Do you think you could sit in on another session? I want to try some positive self-talk, and I've found Marines sometimes won't participate because it makes them self-conscious. I think having the CO here for support would help."
"Whatever you need," John promises.
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